Month: February 2009

General

Show Your Love This Valentine’s Day in a Different Way

Karen

I thought this was an interesting alternative to spending boo-coo bucks on flowers and candy this Valentine’s Day.

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I know for me, I don’t want Kevin to spend money on me this V-Day. He shows me he loves me every day. He tells me he loves me (nearly) every day. That’s good enough for me.

I’d rather help other people than have something I already know to be true be validated and commercialized.

But that’s just me. I realize not every woman’s man is as demonstrative as mine.

So tell me ladies, do you want the whole flowers/candy thing? Or are you satisfied to simply hear an “I love you?”

Project 365

Project 365: February 12th

Karen

project365

And here we go, another week of random photos. If you want to keep track of my photos, you can subscribe to the Project 365 RSS feed.

mosaic1

1. GD, doing Geometry. Notice I’m no where near the boy. I’m forbidden to help with math homework. Because I suck at it!

2. This is my alarm clock. I know, big, right? This is actually our digital picture frame, that we still haven’t figured out how to put (decent looking) pictures on. But it works great for an alarm clock because the numbers are so big I can actually SEE it. And it’s MY alarm clock because Kevin and I do not sleep together. It’s complicated.

3. Kevin is helping MK with his Algebra. Notice, I’m no where near them. I sort of LIKE sucking at math.

mosaic2

4. This is part of the Valentine cookie batch I made to put in the boys’ lunches. I took a picture of this one with my blog visitors in mind because truly ya’ll – YOU ROCK!

5. At the dinner table. We’re having Beef and Broccoli for dinner that night. Notice how none of the guys are smiling? I interrupted their feeding time – they get cranky when I do that. *grin*

6. Me. On my way to have lunch with Kevin. It’s the only time of the week I look halfway decent. Normally, I look like this hag.

7. Kevin. He’s getting ready to take his motorcycle out for a ride because we’ve been having some really mild weather lately. (And some pretty wicked thunderstorms, too. But we won’t talk about those).

Life-condensed

Someone I’ve Never Met

Karen

I’ve been watching this girl.

Not in a creepy, stalker-ish way, but out of curiosity. There’s something about her …

She reminds me of me at that age.

I see this girl every day when I’m stuck in the car line waiting for MK. And every day, I notice her blank, somewhat ticked off expression.

She’s a loner. She never sticks around after school to socialize with the other kids. She never expresses an interest in any of the other “girly” activities – I never see her gossiping, acting dramatic or showing off in front of the boys.

She’s quiet, but in a strong, confident way.

She rarely smiles, but I don’t get the impression she’s mean-natured – only that she’s a serious soul.

She has gorgeous, straight, healthy hair and the silky strands seem to always fall perfectly over her face. Her clothes are rather tomboy-ish in nature, but never sloppy. She’s rather a more organized-sloppy, if that makes sense.

She walks with a purposeful stride. Her head is always lifted and though she never looks at the cars passing by, I get the impression that she’s very aware of her surroundings.

Her mouth is a grim, determined line and I would love to know what she’s thinking. She carries her books close to her chest, not really in a defensive way but as if she’s savoring the last remnants of her day.

She appears to be a hard person on the outside, yet I see her politely yield to other walkers or bicyclists so I sense she has compassion. Whenever someone says anything to her, she rewards them with a soft, small smile, though it never quite reaches her eyes. She wants to be friendly, but she holds herself back.

She’s wary, yet vulnerable. She’s cautious, yet impulsive.

She’s not a beauty, but the fierce glow within her makes her appear beautiful, different and lively.

I watch this girl walk down the street every day; and every day, I wonder if I had had a daughter, would she have been like this girl?

I smile to myself.

She reminds me of someone I have never met.

Can We Talk?

Censoring Your Blog

Karen

So the ladies at Momversation sounded off on blog censorship and that reminded me: I’ve been meaning to talk about this subject for quite some time and since I’m not cool enough to guest post at Momversation *grin*, I’ll tell ya’ll what I think here, in my safe little cubby hole.

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The question is: Where do you draw the line in terms of what is okay, and is not okay, to blog about?

If you’re a blogger, you had to have thought about this issue at one time or another. Sure, blogging about your life is what it’s all about, but your life is not all about you. Because there are other people involved, then we HAVE to think about their feelings and respect their privacy, of course.

It really all boils down to what you’re comfortable revealing to the world. How comfortable are you revealing intimate details about your life? How do your loved ones feel about you blogging about them? Where does the privacy line begin and end with you?

I’ve been blogging for four years now. I started on Blogger, wrote there a few months before discovering WordPress, tapped into my inner geekiness, installed WordPress and wrote on my self-hosted blog for a few years until problems crept into my code and my web host started emailing me four or five times a day citing various CPU problems.

I got frustrated with the problems and finally made the switch over to WordPress.com simply because I was unwilling to deal with the headaches anymore. I wanted to focus my energies on documenting my life, not documenting various php errors. (And by the way, I can’t TELL you how much more relaxed I am about blogging now. I can write, post and promptly forget about it. I LOVE not having to deal with the fine details anymore).

I’ll be honest, blogging was created specifically for me. (Not really, but you know what I mean). I get it. I love it. I’m in my element. Blogging is my perfect self-expression and I don’t ever see me quitting – I’ll be blogging my experiences on my death bed – 100 years from now. *grin* I’m not a very sociable person in real life and in fact, have trouble really opening up to people in real life, so blogging about my life, about my feelings, about my passions, is therapeutic for me. It’s my release valve.

I can honestly say, I’ve never been happier since blogging. I don’t feel so … pent up. And though I’ve never met, nor will ever likely meet, any of the people I’ve “met” online, it’s been such a rewarding experience to just talk to them, to know they’re out there … well, I can’t really describe how that’s affected me. Suffice it to say, I’m a different person because of blogging – and I mean that in a good way. 🙂

Though blogging has been a positive experience for me, it’s been a roller coaster ride for my husband. He’s a VERY private person. There are things about him that his family doesn’t know simply because he’s never felt comfortable enough to tell them. Not because of THEM, but because of HIM. He doesn’t like the world to know about his business.

So to say we’ve butted heads on this blogging issue would be putting it mildly. The man has NOT been happy with me.

He reads my blog. I wish he wouldn’t. Not because I have anything to hide from him, but because it’s sometimes embarrassing for him to read about my innermost feelings/thoughts when I’m sitting just a room away. It’s so much easier to be honest about myself when there is a physical distance. Does that make any sense? But it doesn’t stop there. He reads, and then he comments.

Him: “I really wish you wouldn’t have written that.”

Me: “But that’s how I feel.”

Him: “But that’s bragging.”

Me: “I have an awesome family life and I’m proud of it.”

Him: “That’s not very positive.”

Me: “Sometimes I’m not a very positive person.”

And on and on. He doesn’t really criticize, per se, but he definitely comments.

I’ve learned, through his comments, what is, and what is not, acceptable for him. I’ve learned to dilute the issues in my life so that I’m SORT OF telling you the whole story – but it’s never the whole story. I tend to exaggerate, or belittle things, to protect the reality.

I’ll be honest, there are times I really resent the fact that my family reads my blog. Sometimes, I feel stifled and suffocated because I can’t really BE me. But I’ve learned a way around that feeling, I just write a private post, a post where I release all of my pent-up emotions, and I feel better.

Most of the time, though, I’m grateful for the censorship. Because if I didn’t have this built-in censorship committee, I think my blog would soon turn into something ugly. I wouldn’t have anyone reeling me back in and telling me to stop whining, or complaining, or being so negative. It’s harder to be positive than it is to be negative.

And I don’t want my children to remember me as a bitter, cynical, b*tchy woman. So, I embrace the censorship – it keeps me grounded.

There are certain things I don’t talk about. My husband’s job, for instance, is absolutely off limits. I don’t know if anyone from my husband’s office reads my blog or not, but it wouldn’t be very hard to find me, if they really wanted to. I don’t write about anything that I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to my kids about – so no sex stories or anything equally risque.

I obviously don’t talk about my work very often because I know there are a few clients who read me. *waves*

And that’s another reason I don’t reveal too many intimate details about my life here, either. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out my last name. And when I finally get my professional site back up and running, it’ll pretty much be staring people in the face.

That’s one of the biggest reasons I chose not to reveal my family’s real names when I started blogging. Though I am certainly not going to live my life in fear of someone finding me and/or causing my family harm, I’m not completely stupid. My children’s lives are private. I blog about them because they are such a big part of my life. But as the ladies mentioned in the video, I blog about my experiences with them, I wouldn’t presume to know what they’re thinking or doing when I’m not with them.

Another big reason I don’t mention my boys’ names on here is because I don’t want whatever I say about them to come back and haunt them later in life. I don’t want someone to Google their names and be lead back here. I’ve heard too many stories of that very thing happening and how that negatively impacted the child’s career/love chances later in life. No way. As far as this blog is concerned, they will be referred to as Game Dude (GD) and Mushroom King (MK). I picked those silly names simply because those names embody their personalities.

I’ve always referred to my husband as either hubby, or the husband. It wasn’t until last week, when we were at our weekly lunch date and I was texting a message to Twitter about being at lunch with “the husband” that he got annoyed with me.

Him: “Why do you refer to me as an object?”

Me: “I’m just respecting your privacy.”

Him: “But I’m an object. Is that what I am to you?”

Me: “Of course not. Would you prefer I use your real name?”

And to my complete astonishment, he said, “yes.”

After I got over my initial surprise, I was ecstatic. Not because he had given me permission to use his real name (though that was part of it), but because he’s FINALLY validating my blogging hobby. He’s becoming more comfortable with himself, with what I’m doing and he’s letting a little more of himself out into the world.

I love this man more and more with each passing year.

So, I’d like to formally introduce you to my husband, Kevin.

My husband, Kevin
My husband, Kevin

Yes. We’re known to our family as KK. Cute, right? *grin*

It’s such a relief to be able to finally type his name, to give him his identity back.

And it’s also rewarding to know that he’s come to trust me, my writing, and to embrace this little hobby of mine.

Monday Stuff

Weekend Top 5: Cold Hard Facts

Karen

weekendtopfive

Weekend Top 5 is hosted by Kristi at The Wheelz are Rolling

number The big story at our house this weekend was – our credit card number was stolen.

Again.

This makes like the third time. AAARGH! *mumbles very unladylike language*

My husband signed onto our credit card account Saturday. He does this several times a week, just to make sure I’m not spending money on inconsequential things, er, I mean, he checks to make sure all of our purchases are legit. *ahem*

And I’m very glad he does this because when he signed on, he saw our account had been flagged. So, he called the company and they asked if we had purchased $100 worth of lumber in New Mexico.

*blinkblink*

Uh, no. So, they shut our account down immediately and we have new cards coming – we’ll hopefully receive them today.

This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but the ONLY thing we ever use to pay for anything anymore, is our credit card. I seldom have the checkbook on me and I never carry cash – ever. We use our card because it’s incredibly convenient and efficient, and we build Advantage points through AA for all of our purchases. Hence the reason our flight to Washington D.C. last year only cost us $40. Advantage points ROCK.

So, to suddenly not have a means to pay for anything was … weird. We have a backup card through our bank that we never use. So, we pulled that sucker out and noticed the expiration date was 3/09.

We promptly cut them both up and tossed them in the trash.

Only to realize, ABOUT AN HOUR LATER, that those cards, HADN’T expired yet and why the HECK did we cut them up?????

Because we’re both idiots, that’s why. I think we both thought – old cards – must be expired. *sigh* We’re a pair, aren’t we?

So now, we do not have ONE credit card to use. And it’s freaking us out.

We went grocery shopping on Saturday and had to use our debit card. For the first time. Ever. It was so strange to actually check our account to make sure we had enough money to cover our groceries. Because normally, we use our card and when the husband gets paid, he pays off the card and puts the excess in savings – we rarely keep much in our checking account because we don’t use our checking account very often.

This latest robbery was especially annoying because we are always very careful who we give our real number to. Most of the time, if I purchase something online, I get a virtual number. Which works great, because it’s good for the purchase only and after that, it no longer works.

But as someone pointed out to me on Twitter, credit card numbers don’t necessarily get stolen through an Internet purchase – some random dude at the bank, who is maybe having a hard time making ends meet, especially right now, was desperate and took a chance by stealing our number.

All I can say is? I hope that lumber was worth having charges filed against you, Mr. Thief.

number4 I learned something about myself this past weekend: I’m apathetic.

Apathetic means: 1 : having or showing little or no feeling or emotion 2 : having little or no interest or concern. And I’m sharing these definitions with you because I had to look it up myself.

I am not proud of this discovery, in fact, it’s safe to say, I’m a bit alarmed by this discovery. I am not trying to make myself out to be some hard-nosed badass by telling you this; I’m telling you this because I’m being honest. If the circumstances are right, if I’ve taken all I’m going to take, if my boundaries have been pushed to the limit, and I pride myself on taking crap for a while before those limits are reached, if my patience has been rubbed so hard it starts to unravel, I-simply-do-not-care-about-the-situation-anymore.

And that scares me a little.

People who do not say what they mean, or mean what they say irritate me to no end. People who argue moot points, just for the sake of arguing, turn me completely off. People who can’t stick with the program, who are wishy-washy, who thrive on strife, and who aren’t even logical or reasonable in their arguments, affect me in a strange, and unpleasant way. It’s like someone simply flipped a switch inside my heart and *poof*, I’m done dealing with it, thinking about it and I’m moving on with my life.

Here’s a mirror, please argue with yourself. I’m outta here. I am who I am. I’m sorry if that disappoints some people but I’m a WYSIWYG sort of person – what you see is what you get. No head games. No false pretenses.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you all this, but, there you have it.

number3 We looked at a dog this weekend.

Quite by accident.

The husband noticed a new pet store. Well, it was new to us, before this whole dog issue I honestly never noticed any pet stores. So, we went to check it out.

It ended up being a dog store, slash, dog boarding place. They didn’t sell dogs. But while we were there talking to the guy he said, “Hey. The owner has a dog she’s looking to give away, would you like to see her?”

I nervously laughed and said “no.”

The husband perked right up and said, “yes.”

*sigh*

He brought the dog out. The guy couldn’t tell us what she was, she was a mixed … something. But if I were to guess, I’d say she definitely had some greyhound in her. Her body had that long, sleek, runner’s look to it and she had a long snout.

And she was hyper.

And very, very friendly. And very, very sweet. And when the husband leaned down to pet her and he looked up at me, his eyes brimming with happy tears, I nearly lost it.

In fact, I have tears in my eyes typing this. He wanted her. I did not.

I know. I’m such a heartless b*tch. But she was big folks. When she jumped on me, her paws came to my boobs. And I’m a tall person, as in a 5’9 inches tall person. I would go nuts if we had her in the house. And remember, I will be this dog’s primary caretaker. Since I work from home and am home all day, that’s just the way it works out.

Quite honestly, we are not ready for a dog. We don’t have anything. Not even a dog dish. And I know, you’re thinking, so buy a dog dish. But the biggest reason we didn’t bring her home? Our backyard is not fenced in yet. And this lovely, sweet dog REQUIRES a nice big back yard to jump, play and burn off energy. It would honestly be cruel to keep this dog pinned up in the house all day – she’s simply too active for that.

And I did mention I would never be intentionally cruel to an animal, right?

But the husband’s face. Good lord, his face nearly gave me a heart attack. He WANTS a dog so badly. I can honestly see that now. I can’t deny this any longer. I can’t be selfish – we will be getting a dog. I’m not just sure when yet.

Thank God the boys didn’t know anything about this, I honestly could not have handled all three of their boo-boo faces at once. I may be apathetic with other people at times, but when it comes to my family, I’m anything but.

number2 We looked through the shore excursions for our summer cruise this weekend. In case you don’t know this, we’re going to these islands. And out of curiosity, more than anything, we wanted to see what was available.

Here are the packages we are considering:

Grand Cayman Islands: Shipwreck and Reef Snorkeling
Isla Rotan: Semi-Submarine / Shop Excursion
Belize: Explore the Mayan Site
Cozumel, Mexico:Rent scooters and revisit places we went to on our honeymoon.

Of course, all of these things cost money and wow, I’m not sure this vacation is any cheaper than Disney World would have been now, but this is what we really want to do and we’ll probably never do this with the kids again, so we may just tighten our belts and go for it.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

number1 Can you get headaches if you don’t eat?

Today is the first day in about three days I haven’t had a headache. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been drinking more caffeine in the afternoons, or because I haven’t been eating nearly as much as I used to, but wow. They hurt.

And I can’t think.

But what else is new. 🙂

I’m proud of myself for sticking to my workout schedule these past two weeks – walk 5.75 miles four times a week and do Turbo Jam three times a week. I’m losing weight, but I’m hungry all the time (and I’m just toughing it out because my stomach will shrink eventually) and I’m enduring headaches.

But whatever. A small price to pay to look good for those vacation pictures, right? Who’s up for another bag of 100 calorie popcorn?