Work Stuff

The Final Countdown

As you can probably tell from the title, my religious exemption was

DENIED.

Am I surprised? No, not at all, but I am disappointed.

Come to find out, there were approximately 2000 submissions, (which to be honest, I feel like is high, but maybe that’s right) and only two, TWO, were accepted.

Okay fine, what’s my back up plan. I would agree to weekly testing. How long can that go on for, right?

WRONG.

The DICK-tator-in-chief announced he was going to mandate vaccinations for all employers who employed over 100 people, OR be tested. And if they didn’t comply, they would no longer get federal funding for Medicare and Medicaid.

I knew it was over after that announcement. I knew the hospital was done trying to “accommodate” the difficult ones. I suppose the hospital’s patience has worn thin. (To coin a Biden saying, that is).

Not gonna lie, I was really hoping the hospital was using religious exemptions as an olive branch toward the vaccine-hesitant. On one hand, they were saving face by taking a stand on vaccinations thereby appeasing the public, on the other hand, they were giving an out to the vaccine hesitant so they wouldn’t lose a small chunk of people. I knew it wouldn’t have been easy, but it was SOMETHING.

I think I’m more upset by the fact that I allowed myself to hope. To think it might actually work and I would be “allowed” to continue working at the hospital. I guess that shows how naïve I can be, I suppose. This is one of the biggest reasons I’m a realist when it comes to things like this – I would rather approach an issue with a realistic attitude than try and hope for a different outcome. That way, I limit my disappointment. But alas, I didn’t do that this time and I was once again, disappointed.

And that pissed me off. Because quite frankly folks, I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being tired. I don’t want to worry or feel anxious anymore. I just want to return to normal and when you don’t listen to media, or you’re not in a medical facility, the pandemic really doesn’t exist anymore. The number of cases are going down and thank God, the number of deaths has gone way down, In fact, the Delta variant was contagious but the deaths seemed to be less this second go around. And that’s a good thing!! I think people hear cases and think deaths anytime numbers are mentioned in the media.

In fact, a lot of people think the chances you’ll end up in the hospital after contracting COVID is FAR GREATER than it actually is. The New York Times conducted a survey and here is what they found. (Play the video from Bill Maher).

(Side note: see how Twitter puts a disclaimer on “see the latest COVID-19 information” on this tweet? Because the social media Nazis CAN NOT stand the thought of you actually getting any information other than what they spoon feed you so they have to do what they can to make people who dare to think outside the Matrix that what they’re reading is false and shouldn’t be trusted. I don’t trust anyone and asking questions is how you get to the truth. Suppress questions and debate and what are you left with? A false narrative).

I’m not a member of the New York Times website, (and never will be), but I found the results of this survey on the Washington Examiner’s website. Perception is EVERYTHING.

The point being, the COVID hysteria is real and it’s sad that so many people are living in fear from a disease that has 99% recovery rate for most people.

I’m more afraid of the vaccine than I am of the virus. I just am. Yep, I said it out loud. The data on COVID is simply not as severe as the media is desperate to portray it. The data on the vaccines, however, is far more alarming. Chances are, I would be fine if I were to temporarily lose my mind and get the vaccine. But the point is – NO ONE KNOWS. No one knows what might happen because the damn thing hasn’t been out long enough for experts TO KNOW. I’m just not willing to potentially sacrifice my heath for, “well, we’re pretty confident it works.” And then if something SHOULD happen, no one is liable for pushing it on me.

No thanks.

Look. I just want to live my life. I just want to go about my days and not have to struggle to breath behind a face diaper that is not effective and purely for show and to give people a false sense of security or walk on eggshells because “I’m one of THOSE people.” I want peace.  I’m tired of enduring sly looks and feeling like I’m being left out of conversations because people have unconsciously already written me off. It’s not fun. Like, at all. I know my co-workers are not doing this to be cruel, in fact, I would even say they don’t even realize they are doing it and hell, maybe it’s just my over-active imagination because I’m uber-sensitive about this stuff right now, but all I know is, I’m done. I’m tired. And I. JUST. WANT. PEACE.

So. That’s the biggest reason I turned in my resignation on the 15th.

I played my hand and I lost. The game is over. It’s time to move on.

Do I want to? HELL NO. I’m very bitter that I’m being forced to walk away from people I care about. I’m very bitter that I just spent the last ten years of my life perfecting an industry that I knew ZERO about going in to. I’m very bitter that I don’t get to enjoy the pay raise that the hospital dangled like a golden carrot to try and entice people to stay. I’m very bitter that the industry is tossing people, good people, to the curb after those same people worked their asses off to save the industry when elective surgeries were canceled and the hospital was beginning to wonder how they were going to keep the lights on last year.

Heroes then, vermin now.

It’s sick and twisted how this is working out and everything about this situation pisses me off, but the dice has been rolled and the house won. It’s time to collect my belongings and move on. There is nothing else I can do. Or at least, nothing else I’m willing to do to keep this job. I would like to think everyone has a line, some THING that they will absolutely not compromise on and unfortunately, this issue is my line.

And to further crap on this dung pile, the people I care about are going to be left to find work arounds and to suffer extra work load because of the staffing holes. How is that fair to them?? Now the hospital is going to overwork the people who stay taking a chance they don’t lose more people because of pure burn out. I know, eventually, staffing will work itself out but who knows how long that will take?

The whole situation makes me feel like that graphic at the top. AARGH.

My last day is September 29th. I have eight days to go. I have a full week with my team this week and then three days after that to get through. I’m not looking forward to this – AT ALL. I’ve already cried more these past few months than I have in my entire life and I HATE. TO. CRY. I’m not looking forward to working with my team because it will be sad and weird and it kills me that it has to end this way. I will try my best not to be a Debbie Downer but this sucks – balls.

I know Kevin has been worried about me. I have STRUGGLED these past months. Torn between what I should do and not knowing when it would happen. In some ways, I’m relieved that a decision has been made and I’m moving forward. Being stagnant and not knowing what is going to happen DRIVES ME CRAZY. I’m a doer. I don’t like to stand around and talk a situation to death, I want to know what the plan is and then go with it. The end result is not anywhere near what I wanted to happen but it’s out of my control and the decision has been made.

It’s time to move on.

I walked around on Friday and told people personally that I was leaving. I just felt like an email was so impersonal and I care about my work family so I felt like I owed them that. I also made it painfully clear that I do not want any sort of going away party or any big hoopla because this is not a celebration. My leaving is not a happy event, for anyone, and I have no interest in celebrating anything at this point in time.

Did I mention I’m BITTER?

I have spent some time today being quiet and licking my wounds. I’m processing the avalanche of emotions I’m feeling right now and I’m allowing myself to feel sorry for myself – for a bit. Once that is over and I snap out of my self-imposed fugue, then I will get serious about making a resume and applying for jobs.

I see quite a few editing jobs out there that are interesting and I may apply for those. Banking is also a possibility as I did that back in the days that people actually went to banks to do their business and I really enjoyed it. Who knows which lucky employer will be stuck with me for the next ten years. *snort*

Speaking of ten years, my ten-year anniversary with the hospital is tomorrow. Happy anniversary to me!

*sigh* It’s a good thing I wear water-proof mascara because I will be putting it to the test this week.

At the Moment, Work Stuff

Will They Accept My Religious Exemption Request?

Now, it’s a waiting game.

I submitted my religious exemption request last week but I’m not holding my breath. A couple of other girls submitted their exemptions about one week before I did and they have heard back ….

DENIED.

I’m not surprised but I am disappointed. I really thought the hospital would use this as an excuse, an olive branch really, to meet us “anti-vaxxers,” though we’re really not anti-vax, we’re anti-COVID vax, and they would meet us halfway.

I am really confused, from a business stand point, why they wouldn’t jump on this opportunity, this chance, to keep people. They have to know they are going to lose a lot of people, all over the hospital and that is going to ultimately overwork the ones left, burning them out and potentially losing more workers before it’s all said and done. Or maybe they are just thinking of ripping the band aid off, get rid of the “anti-science” people, (*eye roll*) and starting over from scratch. Yes, it will be hard for the hospital at first, but they will eventually get fully staffed again and these new people will be vaxxed and ready to go. They will get rid of the trouble makers, I suppose. People like me who dare to defy their authoritarian rule.

At any rate, I haven’t received the dreaded letter in the mail yet, but I’m sure it’s coming this week. I’m predicting it will arrive by Friday as that is what they did this last go around. A strategic move, quite honestly. That way, disgruntled employees can bitch and moan at home as opposed to spreading “gossip” and discontent at work.

We’ll see. Again, I’m not holding my breath. I’m honestly not looking for them to approve it. Especially after reading and researching more about religious exemptions to begin with. I found this bit from a website that is geared toward employers, a guideline, if you will, of how to handle religious exemption requests.

Here’s the bit that caught my eye:

Importantly, the policy should inform employees that the law requires an employer to reasonably accommodate an employee’s religious beliefs or practices, unless doing so would cause an undue burden on the operations of the employer’s business. For example, an employer does not have to accommodate an employee’s religious beliefs if the accommodation is costly, infringes on other employees’ job rights or benefits, compromises workplace safety, decreases workplace efficiency, or requires other employees to do more than their share of potentially hazardous or burdensome work.

Because the current COVID-19 vaccinations are approved through the emergency authorization only, (though now I wonder if that has changed since the Pfizer vaccine has been approved (*snort*) there may be questions regarding an employer’s ability to mandate the vaccine. However, based on recent federal guidance, particularly the EEOC’s guidance, and court decisions in some jurisdictions, employers are likely on firm legal ground in mandating the vaccine at this point. Operating an interactive accommodation request process is crucial in limiting potential litigation. In furtherance of this, employers should follow these abiding principles:

  • Presume a religious belief to be sincerely held, then be selective and cautious when requesting further verification and documentation. Avoid a fishing expedition to reduce the chances of claims of discrimination, harassment, or intimidation
  • Be cognizant that religious beliefs are not static and are susceptible to change over the course of a person’s life
  • Remember that the fact that an individual is not a frequent observer of his or her faith or had not previously made his or her faith public does not necessarily limit its sincerity
  • An accommodation does not have to be limited to what is requested by the employee. If the accommodation is legitimate and non-retaliatory, there is a wide range of potential accommodations at the employer’s disposal. Should the employee elect not to accept the accommodation offered, and all other alternative accommodations would cause an undue burden, the employer can part ways with the employee

Source

The part I think they are going to focus on is the “compromises workplace safety,” because let’s face it, unvaccinated people are dirty, unclean and unsavory people. (*eye roll*), at least, according to Biden and his administration’s narrative.

(By the way, Biden, from this point forward, shall be called DICK-tator-in-chief on this blog).

They are going to focus on this because unvaccinated people are jeopardizing the other co-workers by putting their health at risk. Which makes zero sense to me as the vaccinated people SHOULD be protected – isn’t that the whole point of being vaccinated? If a person is vaccinated, why would he/she worry about little ole me and my germs? Right? But I guess that’s not how it works because the “vaccine” isn’t all that effective as evidenced by the fact that vaccinated people have been getting the Delta variant and the CDC is already looking toward pushing boosters. In fact, I would argue that we have a Delta variant BECAUSE of the vaccinated. Or, it has spread so quickly because of the vaccinated. But who knows what’s true and what’s false – everyone is lying, or not telling the whole truth so it’s hard to know what’s REALLY going on right now. I’m just looking forward to the day we can look back on this time period and hopefully sort through this mess and learn from our mistakes.

Because, there HAVE been mistakes – it’s just that no one wants to admit to anything right now.

Seriously, WHEN does it end?? How many injectables are they going to force into people before this madness stops? Is this going to be a yearly thing? Like the flu shot? Only with the COVID shots, we won’t be given a choice??

So I was already not really hopeful about the hospital accepting my exemption request to begin with, but what little hope I had was smashed into shards of reality when the DICK-tator-in-chief made his little announcement about losing patience with us little people and declaring this was now a pandemic of the unvaccinated.

The president has exhausted his patience.

He had tried all the incentives and emotional exhortations and even red-white-and-blue appeals to the patriotism that beats in American hearts. Yet, at least in his estimation, not enough people listened: One-fourth of those eligible still have not rolled up their sleeves, bared their arms, and voluntarily taken their COVID shots.

“What more is there to wait for? What more do you need to see?” an exasperated Joe Biden asked the unvaccinated on Thursday. “We’ve made vaccinations free, safe, and convenient. The vaccine has FDA approval. Over 200 million Americans have gotten at least one shot.”

But Biden won’t wait for an answer to his questions. He and his administration are done with the coaxing. Now, the president has picked up the stick by announcing new vaccine mandates.

Employers with more than 100 workers will be required to ensure their workforce is fully vaccinated or else provide weekly testing for the virus under penalty of stiff fines. Any health care provider that receives federal Medicare or Medicaid dollars must do the same. Anyone boarding a flight must wear a mask or incur a doubled fine, courtesy of the TSA.

How did it come to this? Biden explained not only the need for the sweeping mandates but also said exactly who is to blame. “This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated,” he said, “and it’s caused by the fact that despite America having an unprecedented and successful vaccination program, despite the fact that for almost five months free vaccines have been available in 80,000 different locations, we still have nearly 80 million Americans who have failed to get the shot.”

He scolded the unvaccinated: “Our patience is wearing thin and your refusal has cost all of us.” He dared Republican governors to try and stop him: “If these governors won’t help us beat the pandemic, I’ll use my power as president to get them out of the way.”

And he changed a course he set long ago.

While president-elect, Biden was asked about mandatory vaccinations just weeks after the first successful vaccine trials were announced. “No, I don’t think it should be mandatory. I wouldn’t demand it be mandatory,” he said in December, adding, “But I would do everything in my power — just like I don’t think masks have to be made mandatory nationwide — I will do everything in my power as president of the United States to encourage people to do the right thing.”

Source

So yes, the man lies. Consistently. Not that I ever believed a word out of his, or any of his administration’s mouths, to being with, but this just proves he will say and do anything if it furthers his agenda and/or doesn’t get his way. Apparently, us “little people” who aren’t falling lock/stock with his plan are making him lose patience – now he must mandate the damn thing. Which, for me at my hospital, was already mandated, but now everyone else in the country is now worried and anxious about losing their jobs. Swell.

In some ways, this may HELP my religious exemption case. The DICK-tator-in-chief said that people have to get the vaccine or succumb to weekly COVID testing. I’m not thrilled about this idea, AT ALL, however, if EVERYONE is subjected to this requirement then it seems a bit silly for me to quit my job at the hospital, find another job, only to have to subject myself to weekly testing someplace else anyway. I might as well stay where I am, where I know the job and am comfortable with the job, and take advantage of the pay raise.

By the way, my manager pulled me into her office the other day to let me know how the hospital’s decision to raise the minimum wage to $15.25, (I think I mentioned it was $15.50 in another blog post, that is not correct), will personally affect my hourly wage. Not gonna lie, it will raise my hourly wage by $2.66 an hour. Which amounts to a healthy paycheck. That’s another reason I’m working hard to try and figure out some middle ground in order to keep this job. Again, if I am going to be subjected to the same requirements where ever I go, I might as well stay at the hospital and take advantage of the pay hike. Right?

Side note: I watched a video of a hospital worker that showed up to work after the vaccine deadline and tried to clock in as usual. She wasn’t able to. Then, a member of human resources, (or some person of authority), along with a security person, tried to get her to leave and she refused. She said she hadn’t quit and she never got her letter of termination. So … now what? The video was cut off when the security person realized she was filming and said, “I don’t give you permission to film me.” She wisely shut it down as that would have been grounds for a lawsuit, I’m sure.

Also – side note – check out my Twitter timeline in my sidebar. There is a video of an Australian man in a quarantine hotel filming his “neighbor” going berserk because he was due to go home and the authorities won’t allow him to go home even though his quarantine time was up. That is some scary stuff, ya’ll. The government is getting more and more emboldened because the citizens are going along with these insane “rules” and not doing anything to stop them. As a results, they are taking more and more rights away from the citizens. WHEN DOES IT STOP?!

So what’s next?

Man, I don’t know. Just when I think things are starting to level out, something happens and things are more confusing and chaotic than before. And now, I heard that the DICK-tator-in-chief is supposed to come out with more crap tomorrow. Who knows what that will look like.

Kevin wants me to find a job at a company that has less than 100 people then I won’t have to worry about being forced to get a vaccine or have to take a weekly COVID test. And why is that, by the way? Why 100? Why not 200? 150? Everything is so arbitrary and random. But I guess when you’re the DICK-tator in charge and no one has the balls to step up and stop you, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Right?

All I know is, I’m tired. I’m SO VERY TIRED of feeling pissed off and on edge all the time. I just want this nightmare to end. I’m still fighting, but I need the bell to ring – tell me to go to my corner. Give me a moment to catch my breath and regroup. I’m sure most people feel this way. Every time I have a tentative game plan, “Okay, if this happens, then I will do this. Or, if it doesn’t happen, then I’ll go with plan C”, something else comes along and blows that game plan out the window.

I’ve been HAUNTING Indeed.com jobs. I actually have four saved in my favorites that I might try and go for, at some point. I’m looking at editing jobs, banking jobs – heck, I even spent some time watching YouTube videos on how to start a Twitch stream last night. I don’t think it would be a gaming stream because I don’t play games and am no where good enough to think people would want to watch me and my clumsy efforts to play something, though I guess I could put a different spin on it and market it like, “Watch the world’s worst gamer!” But it would be something that I could do at home. Kevin was telling me that he knew someone who knew someone who made their Twitch stream their full-time job because he was pulling in $14,000 a month! CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE!?

Also, kudos to that person. He found something that worked for him.

I haven’t tossed the whole writing community idea away. I think it would be so much fun to build a writing community where we could get together, talk shop, exchange work, offer critiques, be Beta readers for each other, build a self-publishing network, etc., someplace like Patreon or Locals but I’ve been so distracted with the chaos that is my life right now, I haven’t taken the time to really focus on that. It’s not off the table, it’s still there and collecting dust in the corner somewhere.

But I’m ready to just about do anything to get out of this waking nightmare.

What’s my plan? Heck if I know. I’m taking it day-by-day but for right now, I’m waiting to hear back on my exemption and then once it’s denied, because I can’t allow myself to have any hope so that I can better handle my disappointment, I will talk to my manager about the possibility of being tested each week. And if that doesn’t work … who knows what my options will be at that time.

If there are any options.

If you’re out there in a similar situation, please know that you’re NOT alone though it may feel like it. There are 100 million people in the same boat right now, thanks to our DICK-tator-in-chief’s decree. All I can say at his point in time is pray, talk to your family and keep your career options open right now.

Talk to you soon,

At the Moment, Podcast

You May NOT Travel This Weekend – YouTube Issues 2nd Strike – Kevin’s Truck Breaks Down

So this video was the reason that YouTube gave us another strike against our channel. This is our second strike and I think it will last for a week and if we get another strike, they will delete our channel.

Want to know why we were penalized?? Because we DARED to talk about alternative medications to treat COVID.

*GASP*

Mark my words, at some point in time it will be discovered that Ivermectin and Hydrydroxychloroquine are actually VERY effective early treatments for COVID and we will sit back and think, “Wow. If we had just talked about this at the beginning of this nightmare and given it to people from the beginning, we might have saved THOUSANDS of lives.”

It makes me sick how political this disease has become. Screw the people. Screw saving people. Trump said it, WE CAN’T ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT.

Anyway. From now on, we’re going to advertise our videos on YouTube and direct people to either our videos on Rumble or GabTV so we don’t risk having our channel deleted entirely. And SCREW YOU, YOUTUBE for being dictators and playing God.

Assholes.

Also. Don’t you think our video looks really good this time? Kevin used a different lens on our camera this time and I think it looks really sharp and detailed this go around.

We’re making history folks. That’s one reason Kevin and I are doing these videos. We want to document this madness and our thoughts and experiences so we can look back on them and shake our heads and say, “What were we thinking?!

Side note: Kevin’s truck was towed to the garage today.

He took a video of it:

This is a 2010 F-250 6.4L. I have had this truck for about 2 years, DPF was deleted before I purchased it. I haven’t messed with the Edge Racing Evolution tuner until now. The truck was running fine before but sluggish. Thought I would try one of the programs to see what would happen. Selected Racing 1 and selected “no” to the DPF Filter present question. Started running like this. Programmed again to “Return to Stock”, but still running rough and smoking. There is an exhaust leak under the hood, looks like it is coming from behind the turbo, so I am taking it in to the shop to have that fixed soon. Would be nice if I could find out how to return to the way it was running before I tried to program so I can drive it to the shop. It is obviously not driveable like this.

They are supposed to evaluate it tomorrow. I’m holding my breath because I have a feeling this is going to be EXPENSIVE.

Stay tuned …

Work Stuff

The Hospital Where I Work Mandated the Experimental Injectable – My Response and Experience

How fitting is it that I’m going to talk about work on Labor day. Eh?

Buckle up, it’s a long one. 

Good golly, Ms. Molly, where do I start?

I know I spoke a bit about the mandate in my August Reflections post but I thought it warranted more information. Not only for those of you that are going through something similar out there but I want to remember the mental anguish of this whole fiasco as well. 

I guess, let’s start with the reasons why I’m so opposed to this “vaccine.” 

The number one reason I’m hesitant is that it’s new technology. It has not been thoroughly vetted, it’s been out less than a year and the fact that the government is HELL BENT on MAKING people get it makes me suspicious. If you have to coerce, bribe, and threaten people to take this vaccine when the disease itself should be motivation enough to take the vaccine, something doesn’t add up. 

For example, and this is just the latest example: Birmingham-Southern College is bragging because they have 78% of their students vaccinated. Want to know how they did it? By coercing them to comply. How, you ask? By making the unvaccinated get a weekly COVID test that costs $500 each time they get the test. 

The small college doesn’t require the shots, but did charge all students a $500 fee for weekly COVID-testing. If students disclosed a COVID vaccination, they received a rebate.

The college goes on to say that they can’t “require” the students to get the vaccine but we thought if they are not getting the vaccine then the least they could do was absorb some of the cost when forced to take the test. And, you know, if it encourages students to get the shot, all the better!

And there’s Australia. That whole country has gone completely berserk in their response going so far as to put up quarantine facilities and making their citizens download an app that will track their movements. For you see, if you go outside five kilometers of your house, you could be in big trouble. So this app – they will call you at random times and if you don’t respond in 15 minutes and can prove you’re complying with their insane rules, they will arrest you. It’s absolutely insane. This reaction goes WAY beyond a disease that is basically a bad flu for most people.  For a disease that has a 99.5% recovery rate for most people

These are just two of MANY examples of crazy responses to this damn virus. 

I’d even go so far as to hypothesize that the vaccinated are actually shedding the Delta variant -they’re certainly not immune to it as it’s been documented that many vaccinated have come down with the Delta variant. Even if that theory proves incorrect, it doesn’t take away from the fact that a large portion of people who have been vaccinated have been infected. 

Again, WHY take an experimental injectable that doesn’t really protect you from variants? 

And WHY haven’t we talked about natural immunity? Or alternative medications? Oh right, we can’t, because social media censors us every time we TRY and have a conversation about it. 

My point is – there are A LOT of questions and very few answers. And even the answers that are given are sloppy and contradictory. All of this is enough for me to say, “Whoa cowboy. Let’s slow down and do some more research on this concoction you’re trying to inject into people.”

“But Karen, people are DYING.” 

I get that. So inject the vulnerable and leave the healthy people alone. Do more research. Run the vaccine through it’s paces, like every other vaccine that’s ever been created and dispersed to the public. The FDA supposedly “approved” the Pfizer vaccine, but did they?

And if these issues weren’t enough, now you have frustrated doctors out there touting the unvaccinated shouldn’t receive medical treatment. Not only if they get COVID, but for any medical issue. 

Again, these are just a SMALL number of examples that make me hesitant. There are many, many, MANY more out there if you bother to look for them and get off main stream media outlets. (Because they consistently lie about everything – here is just one example if you don’t believe me). 

So. Until the “vaccine” has been fully vetted, until we have a conversation about natural immunity and it can be proven that natural immunity is not good enough to protect you against this disease and that you have no other choice but take the vaccine, or that alternative medications can be given in the early stages and heal people so that they don’t need a vaccine, I am fully, and 100% against it. 

There are many more natural avenues we can explore before coming to the conclusion that it’s the vaccine or nothing else for me, personally.

Of course, you’re free to do whatever you want to do. If you feel like the vaccine is a good choice for you and your family, by all means, go for it. But people do NOT have the right to tell me what I can, or can not do, with my body. And if you feel otherwise, check yourself. Get off your high horse for a minute and stop being such an arrogant know-it-all. Doctors, government, my neighbors, hell, even my husband, does not have the right to tell me what to do when it comes to my health. Hence the reason so many people smoke, drink, do drugs, over eat – these people KNOW these things are bad for them but they choose to participate in these activities anyway. No one can tell them what to do. They can advise them, educate them on the negative effects of these activities, but ultimately, it’s their choice And they have no one to blame if their choices make them sick or unable to live a long, fulfilling life. 

Is it sad? Of course. But people have free will and they are free to choose what kind of life they are going to live. 

Just like me. I choose not to get the vaccine. So whatever consequences from that choice happens, it’s on me. No one else. And the same goes for the people who got the vaccine. Any consequences from that choice is no one’s fault but the person who chose that path. 

Especially since the drug companies and the government force you to sign a consent exempting them from any responsibility if things go south. 

Oh look, there’s yet another reason I’m vaccine hesitant. Go figure. 

I could go on and on and on about my reasons for not getting the experimental injectable but I’m not going to – if you want more of my thoughts and reasons, just listen/watch to  our Right From Us podcast

I would prefer to turn my attention to how this topic is affecting me and my future. 

July 7th, our competing hospital announced it was mandating the vaccine. That was the day everyone started getting nervous, speculating, gossiping, trying to figure out if our hospital was going to do the same. Rumors started flying and before long, our hospital was rumored to require the vaccine as soon as the FDA approved it. I was hoping that would be years because let’s face it, it typically takes that long to approve a vaccine. So, I was worried, but not overly much. 

The CEO of our hospital was interviewed for quite a few shows, even Good Morning America and I knew from that point forward, when the FDA announced it was going to approved the vaccine, there was NO QUESTION my hospital would mandate it, how could they not? Our CEO went on national TV and pretty much committed to it. And he HAD to now or lose face. I knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

In addition, he mentioned in an interview with one of our local TV stations that people who were vaccine hesitant were “less educated” than the people who just stuck out their arms and got the jab. This did not go well at the hospital and it pissed A LOT of people off. Myself included. In fact, I would argue that I was likely MORE educated than most of the sheeple that got the jab because I took the time to read anything and everything I could about the vaccine. In fact, I would argue that I read TOO much about it. 

The CEO then had the nerve to tell people who DARED question “the science” to SHUT UP. Yeah, he tweeted that little gem. Needless to say, that also pissed a lot of people off. Myself included. 

Now I’m thinking, why would I WANT to continue working for a hospital that thinks it’s people are stupid and who tells them to shut up if they DARE question anything to do with COVID injections. What an asshole. I was SO PISSED OFF at that man, I still man, truth be known, but someone finally gave him a bit of his own medicine and told him to shut up because I haven’t heard him say much since his verbal vomit. 

And because I have a big mouth – what, I can own it and admit it – I pretty much advertised my VERY STRONG feelings about this experimental injectable and how there was no way in hell I was going to get it so that Dr. M. heard about it and staged an intervention for me. Thankfully, the nurse I work with gave me a head’s up and so I wasn’t totally surprised, but the timing of his intervention did take me by surprise. It happened the last clinic before he went on vacation and I assumed he had too many other things on his mind to think about little ole me. 

Oh, how wrong I was. 

I call it an intervention though it really wasn’t, but it sort of was. 

I was eating lunch with our medical secretary when Dr. M., his mid-level (PA) and his nurse all walked into the room. And when he started off with, “Let’s chat,” I knew it wasn’t going to go very well. He had, (and has been), very cranky lately. He has a lot of personal things going on, along with an upcoming surgery he doesn’t want to have, along with starting a sporting organization for his children and other talented athletes and he’s just been super busy and super overwhelmed with everything right now. 

I don’t even remember most of that conversation, to be honest. Because I was so annoyed with everyone ganging up on me and cornering me that all I wanted to do was get it over with. I know the intervention wasn’t intended to make me angry or make me feel bad, I understand that their hearts were in the right place and they just wanted to make sure I had all of the information about the vaccine, not just the “incorrect” information, as they called opposing views, so I took it with a grain of salt. It didn’t make it easier to endure, but I understood where they were coming from. 

I didn’t fight back. I didn’t counter his “evidence.” And it wasn’t that I couldn’t counteract what he was saying but that I didn’t really want to. What’s the point? It would just make him, and everyone else in the room angry and considering I had no idea when the hospital would mandate the vaccine and I could potentially be working with these people for YEARS, I didn’t want to make it weird and awkward. So, I stayed largely quiet. The whole thing was terribly uncomfortable for me and whenever I’m embarrassed or put on the spot like that my go-to emotion is to get angry. 

AND. I. WAS. PISSED. OFF.

So much so that I went for a long walk after everyone left so that I had time to cool off and weigh my options. 

You have to understand – I don’t really have a dog in this fight. Meaning, I haven’t gone to school to be a medical assistant, I fell into the position and learned on the job as I went along, and working in the medical field wasn’t, and still isn’t, something I wanted to make my career. I applied at the hospital because I was afraid ObamaCare would make it impossible to get health insurance and since Kevin was self-employed and getting insurance going that route would be astronautically expensive, I got a job in medical so that my family would have insurance and I wouldn’t have to worry about it going away any time soon. I did it to protect my family. So, I can walk away at any time and be okay with that decision. 

I enjoy what I do, I’m good at what I do, I enjoy the people I work with and honestly, those are the only reasons I’ve stayed. And it’s gotten easy for me and leaving and learning another job would be so much harder. 

Dr. M. emailed me later that same day to say that he hadn’t meant to corner me, but that he cared about me and didn’t want to lose me and he gave me a link to some more information. Again, I appreciated the fact that he cared enough to do that, but there was, and is, really nothing he can say that will change my mind. 

And I think I annoyed him because he’s a neurosurgeon and let’s face it, he’s not used to being told no. 

After the email, I went for another walk, to do more thinking, and when the clinic closed for the day, I marched into my manager’s office, sat down, took a moment to compose myself and then said, “I can’t believe I’m going to say this ….”

And promptly lost my shit. I blubbered and cried and absolutely broke down in front of her. I never, NEVER do this sort of thing so I was super embarrassed and humiliated but to my manager’s credit, she said, “I think I know what you’re going to say, but don’t say it now. Go home, think about it, calm down and then we can talk.” 

And that’s exactly what I did.  

I HATE masks, but I was never so glad to be wearing one in that moment because I knew it was “masking” my ugly cry. Because it was an ugly cry. 

Luckily, this all happened the day before my vacation was to start so I had some time to cool off, think and weigh my options. And I decided, at that time, that I was just going to take it day-by-day. Again, we had no idea when the hospital would mandate the vaccine and I was biding my time. 

In the meantime, the hospital, in an attempt to coax and bribe the employees to get the vaccine, started some sort of lottery program where your name was entered to win cash and other prizes if you were vaccinated. At that time, 69% of employees were vaccinated. (That percentage was the same for nurses, too). 

And from that point on, even today, we get daily emails about employees vaccination times, “sobering” statistics, daily reminders of how many COVID patients we have in the hospital. Overhead announcements when a COVID patient codes, “Code Blue, Code Blue, Team19, room so-and-so.” Stickers are handed out to put on your badge if you’re vaccinated … 

It continues to be overwhelming and too much. My clinic has gotten to the point we just don’t talk about it and when we do, there are raised voices, eye rolls and “well, you’ve never taken a biology class, have you?”

How freaking insulting is that?? I’m probably one of the most educated people in that clinic – I graduated from college … I’m one of the oldest, and likely wisest, people in that damn place. Tell me I don’t know what  the hell I’m talking about. *deep breath*

But still, I’m taking it one day at a time because I heard that some hospitals that mandated the vaccine reversed their decision because they were going to lose too many people and if you haven’t been paying attention, healthcare is pretty short handed now, let alone what it will look like if they lose a small percentage of people, so who knows if my hospital will change their mind. 

And then, August 26th happens. 

Continue reading “The Hospital Where I Work Mandated the Experimental Injectable – My Response and Experience”

Reflections

August 2021 Reflections

As usual, I’m starting this post mid-month. But not to worry, I have my bullet journal to reference. 

And I apologize, I legit forgot to post pictures of my bullet journal for last month, so I’ll post both July and August soon. 

I’ve had a lot of emotional turmoil these past few months, cut me some slack!

Aug 1-3: We went on our first camping trip in our cargo-conversion trailer! You can read all about it here

Aug 4: Back to work after a short vacation. Was grumpy and didn’t want to be there – AT ALL. 

Aug 6: Friday clinic with Dr. S. We had a promising applicant – she was going to medical school though didn’t pass her MCATS, (a college admission test to get into medical school), so while she was waiting to take her MCATS again, she was going to work as a medical assistant in our clinic. She’s from a different state and we were supposed to have a ZOOM interview with her, but she withdrew her application so that didn’t happen. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of this applicant as it seemed a little too good to be true and I wasn’t surprised she withdrew her application but I was disappointed as that means, still ZERO applications and ZERO prospects of getting anyone hired. The girl who was out for maternity leave is back, the other one who was getting married is gone so that still leaves us down two MA’s. I also learned from management that if we lose anymore people, which is a possibility if/when they mandates vaccines, I know of at least three people who will leave, the doctors will be forced to cut down the number of clinics they have due to lack of staffing. Once again, the COVID response is way worse than the actual disease. 

Aug 9: First clinic day back for Dr. M after my COVID “intervention.” (For those that don’t know, my team cornered me and basically had an intervention for me to try and talk me into getting the jab. It was weird and uncomfortable and though I appreciated them caring enough to try, hell will freeze over before I get the jab). It was a quiet clinic. We were all a bit subdued. I arrived to work feeling super bitchy and grumpy, but I forced myself to turn my frown upside down and by the end of clinic, we were close to being back to normal. However, we DON’T discuss all-things COVID. Dr. M. told us he will need shoulder surgery soon so we’re all scrambling to figure out how we’re going to handle his clinic and surgery schedules. This should be interesting …. and stressful. *sigh*

Aug 11: Working A LOT. I got 11 hours of overtime over a two week period. Again, largely because I’m working two doctors clinics and schedules. It’s a lot. And I’m super tired but I’m handling it. I’m getting a flow now but I couldn’t do this WITHOUT working overtime. Kevin is not thrilled about this but my paychecks are nice and fat, so that’s a plus. We still have a lot of people in the hospital with “COVID”. I put that in quotations because I wonder just how many of those cases are actually COVID cases. You can’t trust the tests and you can’t trust administration to be honest about this stuff. It’s all about an agenda so I’m taking everything I hear/see with a grain of salt. The “get the jab” propaganda is still super thick and we’re now up to 70% of employees, including nurses, are vaccinated. So after pushing the lottery incentive and placing pop-ups in front of our faces every day as we work on the computers about employee vaccination clinics – IT’S FREE- I’m a bit encouraged to see that the percentage only went up about 5% since before they started hard-core pushing this jab shit down our throats. We’ll see what happens. 

Aug 14: Experimented with filming myself as I do my podcast. That was fun. Learned a lot about editing as well. Kevin uses the Wondershare Filmora editing program and it’s pretty great. Highly recommend. Obviously, I’m a newbie at this video editing thing but I had so much fun playing around with it I’m hooked and ready to play some more. 

Aug 16: Brandon had his wisdom teeth cut out today. His teeth weren’t bothering him like Blake’s were bothering him, (Blake had an infected wisdom tooth – he suffered for about a year before having his cut out), but Brandon’s dentist told him he had two that were impacted and it would only be a matter of time before he would likely have to have them removed as well, so he though he would bite the bullet and get his removed. Kevin brought him home and he slept at our house for three hours before I came home. We bought him some spaghetti to eat but he was too sore to make much of a dent. I worried about how Brandon would handle the surgery. I feel like his pain threshold is not as strong as Blakes. Dr. M’s team ate lunch together today. We had a few birthdays that we hadn’t had a chance to celebrate so we ate lunch and had cookie cake afterward. It was nice to sit down and have some laughs outside of work. It felt like old times, quite frankly. 

Aug 17: My Kindle stopped working. It would turn on for a second, show nothing but black lines and then die. I looked at my Amazon orders and I’ve had this Kindle for almost four years. I don’t feel like that’s very long but to be fair, I use it CONSTANTLY so I feel like I got my money’s worth. I’m now three books behind on my Goodreads goal and it’s stressing me out. I had the worst night’s sleep that I’ve had in quite some time. I had a wicked bout of insomnia and since I didn’t have my Kindle and I’m not about to pick up a normal book and read it, I felt a little lost. So, I stayed up until 2:00 AM watching YouTube before I felt sleepy enough to go to bed. My alarm went off at 5:15 so I worked a clinic on three hours of sleep. I was really struggling to think and I was slurring and stumbling over my words. I’m betting my team though I had COVID. Because that’s what everyone thinks nowadays whenever someone isn’t acting right. Don’t deny it!

Aug 20: What the hell is happening with Afghanistan?? I can’t believe our idiot president withdrew our troops before making sure all American citizens and allies were evacuated before hand. Now, it’s an absolute mess over there and the Taliban are wearing our uniforms, using our weapons and mocking America. And either Biden is not aware of the mess he’s made or he doesn’t care because he keeps taking off on “vacation.” Maybe it’s both. Either way, he’s an asshole and any deaths that happen over there is all his fault. His approval rating is now down in the 40’s. Stupid old man. Those poor people over there must be terrified out of their minds. 

Aug 23: Well, the day has come. Not only did the FDA “approve” the Pfizer vaccine, (but did they though?) but the hospital where I work mandated the vaccine. I have until Oct 15th get the injection or lose my job. As you can imagine, there was A LOT of buzz and side conversations today. I’m pretty sure our clinic will lose three people, one medical secretary and two MA’s, when this is all said and done. A few people have already caved, which, whatever, it’s your life, your body, your choice, you do what you need to do, no judging. But for me? We all know how this will end for me. I feel like this whole get the jab or lose your job thing is sort of like the five levels of grief: Denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I’ve gone through all of these stages and am now in the acceptance stage. So when they made the announcement, I hardly blinked an eye. I was expecting it. I was disappointed that the hospital jumped on the opportunity to mandate it mere HOURS after the FDA announced the “approval,” but I’m not surprised. I wrote about all these levels here along with what my future plans now look like. 

Aug 25: Talked to Kevin about filing a religious exemption at work. Not sure if it will work, not sure I really want to, but playing around with the idea. I’ve been understandably very distracted at work and I’m so tired of worrying/stressing about this whole subject that quite frankly, I’m ready to move on. 

Aug 26: Kevin used to be in a band. Way back when. In fact, he’s been in several bands. He plays guitar, for those curious. His truck has been making all sorts of weird noises lately so he took it to a friend, someone who used to be in a band with him and plays drums, who looked it over and did some work on it. The guys started talking and before you know it, this friend asked Kevin if he would be interested in getting together with some guys to jam. They came over today and they’re over at LeRoy’s house now jamming to their hearts content. I’m not exactly happy that Kevin is getting back into it but if that’s what he wants to do, I’m certainly not going to give him grief over it. It does make him happy and that’s all that really matters. 

Aug 27: It was a beautiful, sunny, hot day today and I suggested me, my nurse, our medical secretary and another nurse leave campus and go to lunch together. I drove them all and we went to a sandwich/pizza place. It was great conversation and we had a lot of laughs. It felt so good to get out of that oppressing place and have some fun. I was in regular clothes but the other girls were in scrubs and the place where we went were wearing masks, we were not. I wonder what they, and the other customers though that members of the medical field were not wearing masks. I personally don’t care what anyone thinks, judge away, but the though did cross my mind as we were being seated. We took a group picture afterward. I wanted something to remember that day and my friends for when I move on. Because I WILL move on. 

Aug 28: Kevin’s truck is out of commission and he’s super bummed about it. It wasn’t anything his buddy did, he only worked on the truck itself. Kevin updated his computer software in the truck and now it won’t run. Well, it runs, but he can’t drive it. The previous truck owner modified it quite a bit and Kevin thinks those modifications messed up the update. He’s kicking himself for updating it. I’m not a huge fan of updating anything because it always seems like every time you do that, something gets messed up. He’s got an appointment with a guy who works on car computers but it’s not until September 8th. In the meantime, he doesn’t have a truck and he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. He took his car out treasure hunting today but he will have to keep his purchases on the small side so he can get them into his car. I encouraged him to call the guy on Monday and check for any cancellations hoping that will get him in sooner. I hope he gets it fixed soon because we’re supposed to go on our second camping trip the end of this month and I’m selfishly not wanting to cancel that. Speaking of vacation, I’m asking my manager on Monday if I have to work two weeks after my vacation in order to get paid. If I do, then I’ll likely cancel the vacation as the deadline is not quite two weeks after my vacation. That answer will likely determine when I put my two weeks notice in. I still can’t believe I’m planning on leaving the hospital. I had fully intended on retiring there, but they forced my hand and NO ONE puts baby in the corner. (Dirty Dancing reference, if you didn’t catch that). 

Aug 31: I’m absolutely blown away by the fact that it’s September. Do you all realize that we’ll, (well, I will be, I don’t know when you guys are), be putting our Christmas tree up in two short months?!? That blows me away. But I LOVE this time of year. Fall is my favorite season, hands down and this Fall will be extra special, I will starting a new job. 

I’ve been sort of obsessed with this whole COVID topic. (Which is evident if you listen to my podcast – which I have two episodes to post and haven’t yet, but I will). I can think of NOTHING else right now. I want my exit to be as smooth as possible as I want to try and avoid any mushy goodbyes. I hate crying in public and I really don’t want to do that in front of the people I work with. Kevin text me a picture of my 10-year pin that I received in the mail today. How sad is it that I will be leaving very close to my work anniversary? I had a conversation with my boss the other day and asked a few questions about when my insurance will run out, etc. and I told her, flat out, I felt like the hospital was treating people who chose not to get the vaccine as second class citizens. I think she was a little taken aback, but that’s how I feel. 

Though the policy doesn’t say this yet, it will, but if you file an exemption and it’s accepted, then you will have to agree to take a weekly test for COVID. So I asked my boss what the logistics of that would look like. Let’s talk this out, shall we?

So. I’m forced to take a PCR test. Which is faulty and can’t be trusted as the FDA are recalling the tests at the end of the year because they’re having trouble distinguishing between influenza and COVID. I’m now forced to take a faulty test and if it comes back positive, because let’s face it, it likely will because the tests are faulty, what does that mean? My boss told me that if I’m asymptomatic I will be off work for 10 days and will use vacation time, if I have it. If I’m symptomatic, then I’m out for 14 days. Okay, so I’m out for ten days, come back, have to take another test and it comes back positive again. Now, I’m out for almost three weeks out of the month, I’m out of vacation time, not getting paid and it’s putting a strain on my co-workers. 

Sounds like a hell of a deal to me. 

I understand why the hospital is doing this. I get it. They are trying to protect themselves and don’t want to get sued, but they are purposefully making it extra hard for people who choose not to get the experimental injectable so that they basically give up and quit. 

No thanks. I will not be playing that game. I told my boss I will not be filing an exemption. So now, it’s just a question of timing for me. I do have a plan, but I won’t be sharing that plan with you guys, yet. 

We shopping at the Wal-Mart that Blake works out the other night and he told us that Brandon was still in a lot of pain from his wisdom teeth extraction. He says he’s doing better but still needs medication to help him sleep at night but he’s okay during the day. It’s Labor Day weekend this weekend, hopefully we can all get together. 

Things are tense at work. I’m sorry I keep talking about work, but it sort of consumes me right now. I feel like everyone is cranky and on edge, which, I guess they are, to be honest. And I feel like everyone is watching me and treating me differently. I’m sure it’s my imagination, but … everything just feels different. I feel like an outsider, which is sad but I guess not to be unexpected. At least a decision has been made and I can move forward. Being indecisive honestly drives me nuts. 

I’m not looking forward to learning a new job and I think the rest of this year is going to be unsettling for me, but I’ll soon settle into a new routine and it will be nice not having to be subjective to all the propaganda, bullying and bribing that I’m experiencing now. 

It’s so weird to think that (hopefully) this time next month I will have a different job. 

TBR

September To-Be-Read Stack

I thought July was eventful.

August has been an emotional roller coaster. I’ve been too tired and emotionally drained to post much. I’ve been busy wrapping my brain around the fact that my life is going to look very different in October, maybe even as soon as September, I’m keeping my options open. 

But I’ll get to that, soon. I recorded a podcast last week but never posted it. I’m creating a podcast today and will post both soon. I’m working with Kevin on editing the videos because yes, I made videos for both podcasts as well. I really want to document this time period because I’m at the famous crossroads that we all come to at various points in our lives and I’m undecided on which road to take. But now I know, I WILL be forced to take one such road – there’s no retracing my steps.

Stay tuned, it’s about to get a little bumpy up in here. 

In the meantime, here is a list of books I’m working through for September…

___________________________________________________

You can tell which book I’m currently reading by the Goodreads widget in the sidebar.

I’m all about Kindle e-books. I’m a hard core e-book reader. I haven’t read an actual book in quite a long time and I find that when I hold an actual book, it feels large and clunky. I much prefer my Kindle e-reader than an actual book. With that said, I get all of my books from Kindle Unlimited – I rarely, if ever, spend money on a book – it all goes into the $10 dollars a month I pay for Kindle Unlimited.

So, if you’re interested in reading lesser known authors and want to save a ton of money in books, join me!

I rarely read anything lower than a four-star review on Goodreads – I’ve come to trust the reviews of Goodreads readers. I stopped reading for a long time simply because every book I read was stupid, or disappointing and ultimately, a waste of time. (I feel the same with movies – haven’t watched movies, or TV, in about a year). I’ve had great luck sticking to this philosophy and most of the books I read are pretty good.

You can see my book ratings on my Goodreads account.

I have currently read 36 books out of 55.

Moving on, here is my September TBR stack:

  1. All Rhoades Lead Here by Mariana Zapata 
  2. Murder Theory by Andrew Mayne
  3. A Familiar Sight (Dr. Gretchen White) by Brianna Labuskes
  4. The Wrong Side (Bocephaus Hayes) by Robert Bailey 
  5. Love Next Door by Helena Hunting

Happy Reading!

 

Podcast

36: Where to get COVID-19 Medication – Also, CDC Tries to Pick on Florida and it Backfires in their Faces!

 
As usual, I’m obsessed with COVID. I think I’m more obsessed by our reaction to COVID than the disease itself. At any rate, if you’re vaccine hesitant, (and why wouldn’t you be if you’ve been keeping up with ALL of the information, not just what CNN and the CDC ram down our throats), take heart, there are medications available for you to purchase, indirectly – it’s in my show notes and I talk about it on my podcast as well. COVID is not going away, folks. We must learn to live with it. Life must go on, however that looks for you and your family. 
 
 

Mentioned in podcast:
 
 

Intermission music:
 
Shizima4 by PeriTune | http://peritune.com
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Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
 

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*TALK” to you soon!

I was successful in editing the video to my podcast but it wasn’t finished processing before I had to go to work, so check back here later for the video! (I published it on Rumble because the title I wanted to use would no doubt be flagged by YouTube and I’m not in the mood for a strike today).