On Guard


We had a disturbing start to our day today.

I opened the garage door so I could warm up my car. I noticed a strange woman standing in our neighbor’s driveway, on her cell phone.

Hhmm …

The boys and I left the house five minutes later and the woman and our neighbor are now sitting in their driveway, chit chatting.


I take the boys to school and I’m driving back when I reach our house and notice the neighbor and the strange woman are now talking to a police officer.

Hmmmmmmm … what in the world?

I tell Kevin and we start hypothesizing.

Did they have a fender bender?

Did he get robbed? (Because I’ve noticed they do leave their garage door open all night sometimes). But that wouldn’t really explain the strange woman.

Was there a domestic dispute?

Did the woman owe him money and she refused to pay?


Kevin Googled “police calls Springfield MO” and this site came up where you can find out what the police are up to. (Isn’t the Internet the coolest thing? Seriously).

I was in the shower and when I got back to my desk, Kevin had printed off a piece of paper highlighting the words:

Indecent exposure.

No way!!!

Wait. What??

Apparently, some pervert thought it would be cute (really, I can’t even imagine what these sickos are thinking so when I say “cute” I really mean “twisted, sick, deranged, whacked, etc”), to expose himself to the kids waiting for the school bus. (Which stops at our corner).

What the ‘eff???

Later, our neighbor came over and told Kevin the whole story. Which was pretty much what we read online (though we didn’t tell our neighbor that we already knew because we snooped online – okay, you can’t really call it snooping when it’s public record).

But the part we DIDN’T know, is that this same perv was reported at an elementary school shortly after he had exposed himself to our kids and even tried to lure a child into his car.


We’re assuming the woman with him this morning was the mother of one of the girls who waits for the bus. The girl likely called her on her cell phone and the woman came over to get the whole story.

I would have done the same thing.

The school put out an all points alert (they have an automated phone system that they use whenever they need to alert the community about something quickly – it’s a pretty awesome system, actually), about being on the lookout for this perv.

The thing is, if our boys had happened to look out of their window this morning, as they were getting ready for school (because it’s a bus for the middle school and they run on a different schedule), they would have most likely gotten an eye full because the creep did the deed right in front of our house.

Ew. Ew. EW.

At any rate, our neighbor told us that he now no longer feels safe allowing his son to ride his bike around the neighborhood and any time he wants to do so, he’ll have to physically be outside to watch him.

Isn’t it SAD that we’ve been reduced to this because of the mentally deranged in this world?? It just makes me so angry.

I sort of hope the asshole shows up again so I can get a picture of his plates and turn his ass in.

This is a good time to remind everyone to talk to your children about the creepy creeps out there. Don’t scare them, but don’t try and shield them from this stuff because even though we would LIKE this sort of stuff to never happen, it does and children need to be on the defensive.

I still can’t believe that happened in our neighborhood. Not that I think our neighborhood is any better than anyone else’s, but rather this is the sort of stuff that happens to the OTHER guy, you know?

Today was our turn to be the OTHER guys, I guess. *sigh*


Giveaway: 2011 Zits Desk Calendar




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(Susan, if you read this before before I’ve had a chance to contact you, please contact me).


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