Annoyances, Work Stuff

Things That Annoy Me #2

( I seriously can’t stop laughing at this little girl’s expression!!)

“Good morning. Welcome to our team. I expect you to work faster than your peers, update every little detail if older than six months, answer all calls live NO MATTER WHAT and you must have all rooms full so that our doctor is NEVER idle. You have to run everything through me – you are not allowed to think for yourself. I don’t trust you and no one is as smart as I am. You are not allowed to put orders in, even though your peers are allowed to. You can not schedule a patient unless you run it by me, even though your peers are allowed to. And by the way, I need you to be flexible because the way we do things on this team changes DAILY. Which means, the way you did it yesterday? Doesn’t apply to how we do it today. Why are you frowning? Aren’t you happy? I don’t understand why you’re miserable. Why is this job affecting your health? We’re the best team on this floor! We run efficiently and we do everything right! In fact, every team needs to run exactly like us because we’re PERFECT.”

I’m paraphrasing, of course. But this is an example of what our assistant manager thinks and it’s frustrating, unrealistic and insulting to insinuate we don’t know what we’re doing. Can we improve? Of course. But to imply that what we’ve been doing, what we have been doing for YEARS, is not correct, well, let’s just say insinuating this to the entire clinic was enough to nearly cause mutiny.

Here are some signs you’re being micro-managed: (Source)

  1. They avoid delegation. Since micromanagers can’t believe anyone else will do a decent job, the only solution is… to do everything themselves. While they might get the results they want at first, this can’t possibly last. Eventually, they’ll come to discover that there are only 24 hours in a day. Without assigning tasks to others with specialized skills, supervisors will inevitably take on work that they aren’t as qualified to produce. If your boss is a micromanager, they might also think it’s faster to revise your work than to give you feedback on what could be improved.

Oh my gosh, YESSSS. This is EXACTLY what is happening right now.

2. You’re not allowed to make decisions. If even the smallest tasks require sign off from your supervisor, it could be a red flag

3. They complain constantly. The funny thing about mistakes is, if they’re all you look for, they’re all you’ll find. A boss that doesn’t trust their employees is always going to look for evidence that validates their paranoia. And they’re going to find it, even if it’s a typo in a calendar reminder you only sent to yourself. This type of manager can find fault in anything, no matter how inconsequential. While they might tell themselves that they are pushing for excellence, they are only sapping the motivation of their staff.

Oh my gosh, YESSSS.

4. They won’t pass on their skills or knowledge. It’s inspiring to work for a boss that you feel you can learn from. Supervisors can act as role models for junior employees who are starting their careers. For a fresh new employee, finding out that your boss has little interest in mentoring you can be a crushing disappointment. To these micromanagers, knowledge is currency. If they share that knowledge, they’re depleting their own value.

5. Feedback falls on deaf ears. While a normal boss-to-employee relationship should have feedback flow in both directions, a micromanager is more interested in a one-way conversation. Because they’ve put themselves under enormous pressure, they are more irritable and explosive when faced with criticism. They might respond to your critique with some variation of, “Well, that’s just how things work here.” Micromanagers aren’t interested in what they can do to improve–they only look for the weakness in others.

These issues are EXACTLY what we’re dealing with at work right now.

As with any job, you have your ups and downs, your hills and valleys. There are times things are going great and there are times things are definitely NOT great. I’ve been with my current employer for almost ten years – it will be ten years this coming September – and I can count on one hand the number of ups we’ve had. And by this I mean, everything is going great, we’re fully staffed, we’re all getting along, etc. On. One. Hand. All other times, there is some drama, people are quitting, a process is not working, or management is micro-managing us. In fact, I feel like we’re micro-managed, a lot.

I get why this happens. Medical assistants work under the doctor’s license – everything we do is on behalf of our doctor so any mistakes we make the doctor could potentially be responsible. It’s a big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly. However, when you work for a management team that wants everything run through them, you can’t do anything without running it by them first, it’s suffocating.

I read somewhere that micro-managing is the number one reason why people leave their jobs. When a person is not given an opportunity to prove his/her worth, to live up to his/her potential, it’s suffocating. Our clinic right now, is definitely at an all-time low. People are dropping like flies and we all know what the problem is, but no one is willing to do anything about it. It’s like we’re all on the Titanic and we’ve hit an iceberg – now the question is – do we find a way to save ourselves or do we just sit back and wait for it to sink?

I’d like to figure out a way to save us, thank you very much.

It’s funny. I never really wanted a career in medical, I just sort of fell into it. But now that I’m here, (and I really do like the work I do and I feel like I’m good at my job), I just can’t sit back and watch our ship sink.

I need a plan. I need to convey my concerns, along with examples AND potential solutions and present them to my director. He’s the head honcho. The big cheese. The man with a plan. (I hope). I had a long talk with my nurse today about these problems and how to approach them and she gave me some really good advice. Now I just need to compile these thoughts into a nice, neat outline and present it to my director in my best “professional” voice.

Enough with the micro-managing. It’s time to take a stand and get off this hamster wheel. It’s insanity to continue to do the same things over and over again and expect a different outcome. We all agree there is a problem, now we need to get together and come up with a better plan, try different solutions. One is bound to stick, right?

Will they listen to me? Who knows. But if this ship sinks, at least I will know that I did all I could do on my end.

Don’t micro-manage me, it brings out my aggressive side. And let me tell ya, folks, it ain’t pretty.

Relationships

Every Day Should Be Valentine’s Day

Ah, love. Something we all want, whether we admit it or not, and only about half of people truly find.

Kevin and I will have been married nearly 31 years this May. We knew, right away, that we were right for each other. However, I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that it hasn’t always been chocolate kisses and sparkly jewelry throughout our marriage – mainly because of my issues.

More on that later.

Sure. We all love at some point in our lives, but is it true love?

What does that even mean?

What does true love really mean? In order to figure out if you’ve found true love, it’s important to first understand what true love actually entails. Essentially, true love means that you have an unwavering, unbreakable and unparalleled fondness and devotion for your partner. It’s also defined by an emotional as well as physical connection with him or her that runs immeasurably deep, and life without your significant other would be practically unthinkable. Source

According to liveabout.com, here are some signs that you have found true love:

1. You care about this person unconditionally. A tell-tale sign that you’ve found true love is that you absolutely and undeniably adore your partner with no strings attached. In other words, no matter what circumstances may befall you and through good times as well as bad, you support and deeply care for this person. Unconditional love is at the very heart of what true love means and entails.

I’ll talk about each of these points as they apply to my life. I can only speak to my own experiences, everyone has slightly different definitions and vastly different opinions largely dependent on how you were raised to view love and who you are as a person – your genetic makeup, I suppose.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt, again, this has been my experience as an old, *ahem*, married woman.

Obviously, I love Kevin. I wouldn’t have married him and produced two sons with him if I didn’t love him. But I don’t think I TRULY recognized or understood what that meant until he had his motorcycle accident.

That was a coming to Jesus moment for me. I could have lost him! I will never, NEVER, forget the overwhelming feeling of panic and fear I experienced when I got that voicemail, from a perfect stranger, mind you, that Kevin had been involved in a motorcycle accident and they were taking him to our local hospital.  I remember standing there, listening to this strange man’s voice, coaxing me into a personal nightmare and thinking, “I should take a shower.” I had been cleaning house when I listened to that voicemail and I don’t know about you, but I’m not a 50’s kind of woman where I clean house in a frou-four dress and lipstick- I tend to look like something that a dog dragged out of a grave when I clean house, because dude, I’m cleaning house with a purpose, not to go through the motions. At any rate, I looked ROUGH.

I actually made it to the bedroom and was starting to shed my clothes when reality took me by the baby hairs and said, “WAKE UP WOMAN! Get to the hospital NOW.” The man on the message said it was a bad accident, was he close to death? What if I was in the shower and he died? So many horrific thoughts went through my head and I finally punctured the shock bubble I had surrounded myself with and grabbed my keys. Screw it, I needed to find out what was going on.

Long story short, he was badly injured. His pelvis “was a bag of glass,” according to the ER doctor. (I will NEVER forget he said that). And he needed to be transferred to a university hospital where they could put him back together. (Anyone else thinking Humpty Dumpty? You’re welcome).

Again, long story short, I lived at the university hospital for two weeks, then he was shipped back to our hometown and had another week (? I forget because that whole time frame was a blur) of rehab before we could bring him home. He was in a wheelchair for weeks because he had to be non-weight bearing while he healed. He, in essence, had to learn to walk again.

All of this to say, I didn’t REALLY appreciate him being in my life until that accident. I took him for granted. I’m not proud of that admission, but it’s the truth. Suddenly, our relationship dynamic switched. He needed me more than I needed him. You don’t fully know how much you love someone until you have to wipe their butt. Just sayin’.

That, my friends, is unconditional love. That was the moment I knew, I don’t want to live my life without him.

2. You fully accept your partner. An additional indicator of true love is that you understand and accept your partner for the person who he or she truly is. You’re not trying to change your mate, fix him or her and/or turn him or her into a different person. Rather, you fully accept, appreciate and adore your partner, flaws and all. 

I feel like this applies more to Kevin, than to me. Yes, he has flaws but I feel like I have more. And he’s endured a lot, A LOT, from me over the years. Contrary to popular belief, (or maybe not), I’m not the easiest person to get to know. I am very guarded and cautious when it comes to fully sharing myself and to be honest, I don’t fully share myself, even with him. But he has stuck it out and there are times I look back and shake my head – I can’t believe he stuck around, quite honestly. To me, that shows me he truly loves me because I think the majority of men would have said, “bye.”

3. You can talk about anything. When you’ve found true love, it means that you can candidly and honestly discuss anything with this person. True love implies that you’re completely truthful with your mate, aren’t holding back different aspects of your past and are able to fully open up to him or her. You share an intimacy that’s emotional as well as physical, and your loving connection is stronger because of your willingness and ability to be open and vulnerable around each other.

Agreed. Sort of. I tell Kevin … most things. To be honest, I don’t tell him everything. Not because I have anything to hide but because he’s a man and he’s genuinely not interested in some of the things I talk about. However, I have told him things I have NEVER told anyone else. It started with being honest with myself and then sharing a part of myself that I guard closely and in doing that, I think that helped Kevin understand me more. I trust him and know that he would never tell anyone else and never use that part of me as leverage. Again, it took many years to build that level of trust but we endured and I think those are the keys to any relationship – time and endurance.

4. You’re completely yourself with this person. When you’ve found true love, you’re able to be totally authentic with your partner. You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not, feigning interests, passions or pastimes and/or acting in a way that doesn’t reflect the real you. Being yourself in your relationship is essential to experiencing true love. 

Yes and no. I am myself around him, we burp, fart and are occasionally gross with one another because we ARE comfortable with one another but I wouldn’t say I’m 100% myself around him 100% of the time. I will sometimes feign passions and pastimes because I know NOT doing those things would hurt his feelings. Besides, just because I’m not interested in whatever he’s selling doesn’t make it okay for me to act like a jerk and not pay attention to him. I will say though, after being married for nearly 31 years, we generally do our own thing most of the time. He has his interests, I have my interests and we do things together every week – like a standing date night(s) and doing our podcast together. We enjoy and respect our space and time and we need that to fully appreciate one another when we ARE together, if that makes sense.

5. You respect each other. In order to experience true love, it also means that there’s a high level of respect, kindness and compassion between you and your partner. You can empathize with one another, see each other’s point of view and are able to resolve conflicts and squabbles in a way that’s constructive and respectful of each other’s well-being.

Yes, but it’s not easy and doesn’t happen over night. I used to pick fights with him – not intentionally, though there were moments … but again, after being together for so long, we have LEARNED to agree to disagree. I have to constantly tell myself, “pick your battles.” And often times, our “battles” aren’t bad enough to really make it into a “thing.” I’m not into drama – I can’t stand it, I don’t have the energy for it and I don’t care to participate in it. That not only applies to marriage but outside marriage.

6. You have similar values. In order to experience true love, your morals and values have to be aligned with those of your partner. While you may have your differences, such as where you grew up, your religious background or simply your obsession with football, true love means that you’re on the same page when it comes to distinguishing right from wrong. In a word, having similar principles is a principle component of true love.

Oh, 100%. I think this aspect of “true love” is CRUCIAL. If you and your partner aren’t on the same page when it comes to politics, religion and basic beliefs then I feel like that can often times set you up for failure. And kudos to any couples out there there that can maintain a marriage and NOT be on the same page with this stuff, I know for me, I couldn’t do it. I think finding that balance, all the time, with every situation, day-to-day life, working life, parenting, would just be too exhausting for me. I don’t mind a spirited debate now and again but to consistently have that disagreement 24/7 … nope. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want that in my life. And I hope if/when our boys find partners that they understand and actively seek someone who is like minded. I’m not saying I wish them to end up with a female clone of themselves, but it truly helps a relationship when your partner agrees on the BIG things in life.

7. Your happiness levels feed off of each other. If you’re wondering if you’ve found true love, it’s important to pay close attention to your true feelings and emotions. Does making this person happy make you happy in return? Does surprising him or her or doing favors for your partner give you a rush of joy as well? When you and your partner both have a mutual desire to bring happiness and contentment to one another, you should be happy to know that you’re experiencing true love.

Yes. When your partner is happy, YOU’RE happy. Doing things for your partner is part of showing your love for him/her. True love is loving someone OUTSIDE yourself. When he’s hurting, I hurt. When he’s feeling sick, I feel sick, etc.

8. You’re a team. When you’ve found true love, it means that you’re fully committed, dedicated and devoted to each other. With true love, you and your partner work together as one unit to enrich each other’s lives for the better. And rather than behaving in a selfish or egotistical way, you think in terms of “we” instead of “me.” When it comes to true love, your mate is really your teammate. 

Again, yes. We are definitely a team. We are working together for a future. We are working together to be good parents to our sons. There is no “i” in TEAM. And that’s really true. I will, however, confess that I am selfish with my time. I have talked about this before – I don’t feel like my time is my own, the majority of the time, so the time I do have to myself, I am very selfish with it. I need to work on that.

Here are a couple of more tips that I feel are worth mentioning from this site:

9. True love is not about finding yourself in another. Don’t fall in love, or think you’re in love, just because you want to find yourself. Your identity is not to be someone’s other half‒it’s to be yourself! Don’t get so swept up in your partner that you become them. You don’t need to be the number one fan of their favorite band or read all the books they read. Keep your interests and hobbies and you’ll be more interesting to, and interested in, your partner.

Oh, 100% agree with this!

As RuPaul says, “if you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else?” And that’s absolutely true. You need to know yourself, be honest with yourself and accept yourself before you can successfully participate in a relationship. If you’re looking for your partner to define you, you have failed before you have begun. You have to be comfortable in your skin before you can be comfortable allowing someone in your life. And if the person you love doesn’t accept you for you? Then that’s not the person for you. Period.

10. True love is not demanding. Your partner should never ask you to change if you’re truly loved. And if you truly love your partner, you shouldn’t expect him to change. You got into a relationship because you liked each other, and you grew to love each other as you are. Why would you need to change someone you love so deeply? Accept them as they are, and you’ll get that consideration in return.

This goes back to knowing and accepting yourself for who you are. If you’ve done that, you won’t ask, or expect, someone to change for you. What you see is what you get. Don’t like it? Move on.

11. True love comes naturally. Do you have doubts about your partner? Are you not sure they’re right for you? If you’re asking yourself too many questions about your partner, your relationship, and your future together, then you’re probably not in love. When you’re truly in love, you don’t question anything. It feels natural to be with your partner, and you know you can work through anything to achieve that future you’re dreaming of.

We all have to work on our relationships, that’s a given. But if you have to work TOO hard, if you have to change who you are or it feels forced when you’re together, the relationship may not be for you. True love should come easily .. if you’re forcing it to fit your expectations, the relationship will always feel forced.

12. To get love, you must give love. You can’t be in a loving relationship if you hold back. You can’t use love as a bargaining chip. Don’t tell your partner you love him only when he does something good around the house. Don’t give him the cold shoulder if he makes a mistake. You have to love him all the time, regardless of his words or actions, because true love is unconditional. If you give your partner this much love, you’ll get it‒and more!‒in return.

To me, this sounds like emotional blackmail. I only love you when you do something for me and I will withhold my love when you don’t do as I say. I hear this a lot. Your partner is not a dog, do not treat him/her like one. There are no treats for being good, there shouldn’t be disciplinary actions for being bad. You’re two adults that have the ability to communicate with one another. Don’t be shy to tell your partner what he/she did bothered you, or was disrespectful. Chances are, he/she didn’t eve realize their actions were construed that way. Someone who loves you will be willing to hear constructive criticism and will want to do better. I’m not saying it’s always easy to hear that, but out of respect for one another, it’s a conversation that must be had if you two hope to grow together as a couple. And if your partner is not willing, nor has any desire to change his/her behavior, or at least have a conversation about it, then again, you must ask yourself, is this the person for me?

13. True love is based on friendship. So many TV show relationships are based on friends who fall in love over time. It’s a great premise, and a nice daydream, but life isn’t TV. You don’t need to be best friends with your partner since kindergarten for love to last. But you need to be friends with your partner. You need to be able to talk, to share jokes, and to enjoy each others’ company. Over time, the physical passion may fade, but true friendship will last forever.

Again, 100% agree with this. You should not only love your partner but LIKE him/her. In fact, it’s crucial. If you don’t like your partner for who he/she is, how can you build a relationship that will stand the test of time? Forever is a LONG time to be with someone you don’t even LIKE.

14. True love is committed. It’s human nature to be attracted to other people, to allow your head to be turned by an attractive passerby. Don’t let this make you feel guilty. As long as you’re committed to your partner, your relationship is fine. When you’re truly in love, you don’t want to be with anyone else. You can’t imagine spending your time without your sweetheart.

It’s okay to find someone other than your partner to be attractive. You’re human. There are a lot of attractive human beings in this world. However, what is NOT okay is to act on that attraction. You made a commitment to your partner – respect your partner enough to resist the temptation. You’re an adult, not an animal in heat.

And no, I don’t believe someone falls out of love with someone. I think that’s an excuse people come up with to justify bad decisions. I think people get bored with one another. There’s a difference. If that’s the case, talk to your partner about it. Chances are, your partner feels the same. Come up with ways to re-ignite that spark between you. And no, it doesn’t always have to be about sex. Spend time with each other. Find something you can do together. When you’ve been married for as long as I have been, you’re not even the same person you were when you got married. Your partner is not the same person he/she was when you got married. Together, it’s time to rediscover yourself and your partner. Marriage is almost fluid in that respect. You have to both be willing to grow and change together.

Is any of this stuff easy? Hell no. However, anything worth working for is worth having. If you can survive rough patches, and there will be rough patches – think of them as growing pains because honestly, they are, then you can handle anything. I promise you, you will make your relationship stronger. But it takes two to make this work. You can’t improve your relationship all by your lonesome. Sometimes it takes outside help, like a marriage counselor, to help you and your partner to see things clearly. Not everyone is a good communicator but if your partner really wants it to work between the two of you, that person will at least TRY. And it’s hard to accept one’s own weaknesses and flaws. I’m certainly no Betty Crocker – heck, I’m not even that great of a human being most of the time, but I love my husband and I truly, genuinely, can’t imagine my life without him in it.

I can honestly say, the majority of our problems over the years have stemmed from me. I’m woman enough to admit that. I have issues. I’m a cold fish. I’m not very affectionate and I certainly don’t allow anyone into my heart. Kevin has made it past many obstacles and gates but I haven’t allowed him all the way in – there is something deep within me, something I don’t acknowledge and won’t examine closely enough, to let that happen. However, that’s not Kevin’s fault, it’s mine. So I have had to learn to deal with my short comings and be honest with myself and with him, to work through these issues and come up with compromises we can both live with.

And just so we’re clear, Kevin is not perfect either. But we both made the decision, early on, to never bring up the “D” word. (Divorce). It simply wasn’t an option with us. And because neither one of us allowed the “D” word to be an option, or an out, it made us that much more determined to work it out. It wasn’t easy. And it was down right ugly at times, but we made it through and we understand each other more because of it.

So no, I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Because to me, it sets people up for false expectations. You should show your partner that you love him/her every day, not just ONE day of the year. Yes, love is pretty awesome, but it’s also a lot of work.

Politics

Can Congress Impeach a Private Citizen? Let’s Hope Not

Are you paying attention? Biden has been in office for one week, ONE WEEK, and he’s already signed close to 30 executive orders. Who needs congress when we have a dictator that takes things into his (her – because let’s be honest, Kamala is behind this push, too), hands? Who needs the people when we have a dictator that knows what’s best for the people? Who needs jobs when we have a dictator, and his minions, who simply tell you to “find another job?” Who wants to be energy independent when we can get our energy from foreign countries so they can blackmail us into doing what they want us to do in exchange for said energy?

Biden has “fundamentally changed” America is less than one week. On the surface, this is alarming but let’s be fair, let’s see how this is actually going to translate in the coming weeks. But I’ll be honest, this is a lot in a little time and if that doesn’t make you nervous, it should.

And this whole impeachment thing with Trump? Still? MOVE ON PEOPLE. I swear, some of these left-leaning Democrats are obsessed with Trump and they’re having a hard time letting go of him and their obsession. Newsflash – YOU WON. Let it go! That’s like winning a tennis match and then immediately jumping over the net to beat your opponent to a pulp. It’s petty and disturbing. Trump is no longer a threat to you and your radical agendas. You have a commander-in-chief who is making decisions on your behalf, isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t it all you dreamed it would be?

Trump is a private citizen now. You can’t, and/or should not, be able to impeach a private citizen. And if our crazy left-leaning radicals pull this off, then every American should be scared because then they’ve set the precedent to come after YOU. Or anyone who disagrees with them. ME.

Senator Rand Paul gives a scorching argument against impeaching Trump. We must have rules in this country – our constitution is our rule document. We must abide by her because if we do not, then the United States is no longer a free country. And judging by Biden’s executive order frenzy? I’m beginning to think we’ve already lost a lot of that freedom.

Paul, with sound logic, rightfully called out Democrats on the unmistakable double standard of the impeachment charade.

Since when did rhetoric from politicians become ripe for unprecedented actions such as a post-presidency impeachment trial? More importantly, as Paul noted on Tuesday, “Democrats insist on applying a test of incitement to a Republican that they refuse to apply to themselves.”

Arguably, the left’s campaign of harassment, intimidation and violence, as well as the progressive advancement of cancel culture, helped lead to the events of Jan. 6 as much as anything. Yet the Democratic Party has absolved itself of years of inflammatory rhetoric that has left millions of Americans feeling pushed into a corner.

In their attempts to undercut and oppose Trump, elected Democrats uttered words and took actions that defied the civility they now claim they want to restore.

But when looking at the incursion at the Capitol, their selective memory on political violence and inflammatory rhetoric shows that they are after what they’ve always been after — the destruction of Trump as a political force and the demonization of all those who supported the former president.

Those loyal supporters supported Trump even in the face of threats, violence and the potential cancelation of their livelihoods.

Democrats are playing the role of victim after years of stoking civil unrest.

The hypocrisy isn’t lost on Paul. It shouldn’t be lost on anyone else, either. Source

Annoyances

Things That Annoy Me #1

I promise you, I’m not that easily triggered. Sure. I have things that annoy me, but I do what every one else does – I deal with it.

However, when I was looking for blog posts ideas, (by the way, here is a really good list of ideas if you’re struggling), and saw pet peeves was on the list and then Googled pet peeves – wow. There are a lot of things that annoy people.

Not all of these things truly annoy me, but I thought it would be fun to tackle them, one at a time.

(Also, can we just take a moment to appreciate this little girl’s face? Ha!)

Let’s break them down, beginning with the first one on the list – Talking during a movie.

I took this one step further and expanded it to include, “interrupting me when I’m trying to focus on something.”

Yes. I get super annoyed when people start talking during a movie. The whole purpose of watching a movie is to watch the movie – you can talk later. Or if you can’t, then leave the theater, or the room, and continue your conversation away from others. That’s the polite thing to do. But I think a lot of people don’t even think of it as being rude because I believe a lot of younger people have not been taught to think outside themselves.

Kevin and I don’t watch movies anymore. In fact, we don’t watch a lot of TV. Now YouTube is a different monster, but it could be applied here. Please do not interrupt me while I’m focused on … anything. Because I’m in the zone. I’m focused. I’m concentrating. My wheels are turning and my wheels don’t turn very often – so respect the moving wheels! 🙂

I try and do this as well, especially at work. When I see my doctor is staring intently at his computer monitor, that means he’s studying an image of someone’s brain or spine and that is NOT the time to ask him a question. Let the man do his thing. Or. My nurse is in the middle of writing something down, or doing something on the computer and I have to tell her something RIGHT NOW (it’s not really an emergency but in my mind, it is), and I have to tamp down on my very important thing to tell her and say, “Let me know when you’re at a stopping point and I’ll tell you what I have to tell you.”

It’s called courtesy. It’s called respect. It’s called being polite.

Something else that annoys me is when people don’t pay attention to something said in a meeting, or their thoughts wonder during a show and to play catch up they look to me and say, “What did he/she just say? Who is that character? Why is that character doing that?”

*sigh* If you had been paying attention, you wouldn’t have missed it.

Or, when something exciting happens in a movie (back when we watched movies) and I’m all hyped up and I look over to Kevin to comment on the exciting moment or comment on the revelation, (wait a minute, now I’M talking during a movie), only to find him, slack jawed, eyes closed and softly snoring.

Rude. lol

All of this to say, respect your fellow human’s space and if he/she looks like he/she is focused and there is steam coming out of his/her ears, give it a minute before interrupting. I promise, what you have to tell that person can wait.

Unless the house is on fire, then you might want to interrupt in that case.

What say you? How annoyed do you get when someone talks to you while you’re focused?

Relationships

How to Deal With Selfish People

We all know selfish people.

We’re all selfish to some degree. The trick is to know when it’s healthy and when it’s not.

I’m selfish with my time. I know this and accept this. I think the biggest reason I’m selfish with my time is because most of the time, my time is not my own. Meaning, I work 40+ hours per week and when I’m working, I’m doing things FOR other people. I’m taking care of other people’s needs, answering other people’s questions, listening to other people talk about their lives.

And that’s okay. It comes with the territory. And people interest me, so I can deal and accept that.

Not many people ask me questions about my life. Most of the time, I listen to other people and honestly, I’m okay with that. I don’t really feel that comfortable talking about myself. Not that I’m ashamed of me or my family, I don’t know, I just don’t think I’m that interesting. Again, I say that not in a self-depreciating way but because, honestly, it’s true. When I’m not at work, I keep to myself. I read and write, a lot. I’m okay with my own company. I need alone time to recharge my social batteries. No. I REQUIRE alone time to reset.

Though I guess you could say that blogging about me, my thoughts, is selfish.

I always cringe whenever I read articles or watch videos about “self care,” because I hear self care but think selfish. I shouldn’t think that way, but I do. I think self care is a buzzword nowadays and I think some people go overboard with self care.

Okay – yes, take care of yourself, but when you’re too focused on taking care of yourself, doesn’t that cross the line into selfishness?

Being selfish means there’s a desire to take from others, often to their detriment. However, selfcare is about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else’s. Selfcare is a means of restoring your own energy, which promotes healthy physical and emotional well-being.

I’m a very empathetic person. I try and put myself in other people’s shoes. What must it be like to live their life? Why do they feel the way they do? Why are they acting like that? Where did that attitude come from? Though I like to try and figure out what is behind a person’s attitude, I also have zero patience for people who use excuses for the way they behave. For example – I’m in an abusive relationship. My parents never showed me they loved me. I have depression and anxiety. Etc.

It might be the REASON you’re acting the way you are but it should NEVER be an excuse to treat other people with anything less that respect. Unfortunately, those are issues you’re going to have to address and move past.

For example: I work with a gal who is not nice. She’s mean to co-workers and patients. In fact, patients have complained about her. She has a very Eeyore attitude and she doesn’t even try to be diplomatic or kind – in short, she’s just a bitch. Her reason is she has depression and anxiety and though we’ve never talked about it, it’s common knowledge . She has a standing “date” with her therapist every other week because we, as MA’s, have to decide who is going to cover her while she’s gone.  And okay. I don’t fault her for that and I’m glad she’s seeking help, it means she recognizes she has a problem and she’s actively working on it. However, I feel like others excuse her behavior. “Oh now, so-and-so has anxiety. She’s on medication.” Again, okay. I get that. I get that she has to work harder to reign her nastiness in and I’m sure it’s really hard for her, furthermore, she’s actively working on it, good for her. However, that is NO excuse to treat her co-workers, who only want to help her, like garbage. I think part of this girl’s problem is, she doesn’t recognize when she’s acting like that way because there have been times I’ve gotten so annoyed with her bitchiness I’ve looked at her and said, “What’s with the ‘tude? Are you upset with me?” In which she will reply, “oh, not at all” and suddenly her attitude changes.

I actively avoid her. I have no desire to get to know her or be around all of that negativity. I’m not the only one. Which is sad, really, because I think that conscious decision to not be around her only serves to reinforce her opinion about herself.

At any rate, I have zero patience for selfish people and I have no problem getting away from selfish people. Because ultimately, I don’t care enough to deal with them. But I realize that not everyone is as lucky – they have people in their lives that for whatever reasons, they can’t get away from.

How do you know if someone in your life is selfish?

Here are 14 signs of selfish people from Hack Spirit:


Selfish people are very good manipulators

A manipulative person refers to someone who seeks to control people and circumstances just to achieve what they want. They might use emotional blackmail. Selfish people are skilled manipulators by instinct and a control freak at heart.

Selfish people are uncaring toward others

For example, if you open up your emotions to them, they may try to manipulate you to get what they want or make you feel guilty.

Selfish people plot and scheme against you

Abigail Brenner M.D. wrote on Psychology Today, “Manipulative people are really not interested in you except as a vehicle to allow them to gain control so that you become an unwilling participant in their plans.”

Selfish people are conceited and self-centered

The way selfish people think is that they want to be put first. However, they are not satisfied with being the priority. They also want to put you down.

Ever met someone who insists that everything they say is of relevance and everything that you say is not? That is a classic example of a selfish person.

Selfish people find sharing and giving difficult

Maybe you know of a selfish person but you have some doubts because that someone shows a caring side.

Let me tell you this, it’s all fake. Caring, sharing, and giving are not an easy thing for them to do and those actions will show through in this situation.

For one, they will want something in exchange. Maybe they want everyone to know about it so that they are praised for it.

If you are in this situation, just let their gesture of goodwill go unnoticed and don’t praise them for it.

Selfish people put their own goals ahead of other people

Because of their way of thinking, they expect other people to do things for them. When you see that this is happening, do not let them have what they want.

It’s all about control, so do not give it to them.

Selfish people do not show weakness or vulnerability

Selfish or narcissistic people are scared to show weakness. They think that by helping other people, he or she is demonstrating weakness or internal insecurity.

Selfish people don’t accept constructive criticism

People who are selfish cannot and will not accept constructive criticism. Their huge egos just can’t process that constructive criticism is for their own good.

They only think that you are attempting to devalue their work and their potential. This situation will always end up with the selfish person defending themselves.

Indeed, it is very difficult for them to realize that they are wrong.

Selfish people believe they deserve everything

Being selfish is not only characterized with self-centeredness but also with false sense of entitlement.

For example, they expect to be continuously rewarded even without doing anything. The reason? They just deserve everything and they’re perfect.

Selfish people do not listen to those who do not agree with them

When you say something to a selfish person, even if it’s constructive, will be taken against you. They will think that you are their enemy and you do not deserve their respect or attention.

Selfish people criticize others behind their backs

Selfish people prefer easy judgment and nothing is easier than judging behind a person’s back.

Selfish people exaggerate their achievements

One of the most notorious deficiencies of selfish people is their lack of humility.

Humility, considered as a precious human virtue, is needed for us to grow as people and as social beings in our environment.

But selfish people, having huge egos, will always look for ways to stand out and exaggerate their achievements.

Selfish people are scared of public failure

Selfish people cannot bring themselves to think of their failure. When they fail, either they run from the situation or blame others.

However, when other people fail is another story. They don’t think twice about giving out severe criticism when others fail

Selfish people dominate others

Do you know someone who calls you up whenever he or she feels like it? Or asks you to meet them at their whims and fancies?

This is one characteristic of a selfish person – they wrap you around their fingers and it’s pretty hard to break loose. Victims of selfish people end up losing confidence.


Okay – so we’ve identified selfish people. Now, how do you handle selfish people? This is from Power of Positivity:


Silence is golden

Someone has just said something terribly selfish. Let their words hang in the air as you gaze at them in silence for a few, long, seconds. Pausing like this gives the selfish person a chance to hear their words again and process how you might have taken their meaning in a negative way.

That is not what is best for me.

This statement may sound selfish, but it reflects your assessment of what the selfish person has asked for, and it sets a boundary that you do not want them to cross.

It sounds like you want _______. Is that right?

I like this one. Because it takes the selfish person’s words and turns it back on them. It clarifies their request and forces them to realize what they want, and/or how they are going about getting what they want, is selfish.

I would like a turn to speak when you are done.

A selfish person can monopolize the conversation and unless you make your expectations clear, you might not be able to speak your mind.

I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t word it quite so nicely, personally.

Let’s see if we can find a compromise.

Because life is compromising. Period.

Can you see that what you want is not in my best interests?

This approach is an attempt to get the selfish person to see your point of view. It might not work, but it doesn’t hurt to ask them to TRY to see things from your perspective.

That doesn’t work for me. How about _____ instead?

You’ve made it clear that you do not accept what the selfish person wants and you have stated your preference. What happens next is up to the selfish person’s ability to change their mindset.

Let’s talk about what’s best for both of us.

Again, trying to gain the cooperation of the selfish person will benefit both of you. Researchers studying selfishness found that when there was a choice between a purely selfish result and a result that would benefit the group, a brief discussion before making the choice resulted in people choosing the option that benefitted the group 100% of the time.


I think my favorite comeback is to just say nothing and stare at them. Then, when the silence stretches out for so long it becomes uncomfortable, look at them with a deadpan expression, and call them out. “You do realize that’s a pretty selfish perspective, right?”

But then again, I’m not always a nice person … so take that with a grain of salt.

Here’s a really good video on how to identify if you’re with a selfish, or toxic, person.

 

I hope this was helpful. People are complex and people are flawed. The challenge is to determine whether we should keep these people in our lives and/or not to lose ourselves in the process.

Politics, Twitter Messages

Defining Conservative Values – Response to TikTok Video and Tweet

Hang on to your seats, friends, I’m fired up.

I watched this on TikTok and felt compelled to answer Sarah’s challenge on Twitter. Also, good question, Sarah. I think this topic needs to be fully analyzed and explained over and over and over again, if that is what it takes to finally educate people on what Conservatism is. Too many people out there have a vastly incorrect assumption about Conservatives and Conservative values. And that’s really no fault of their own, the media and social media, heck, even our government, has done an excellent job of turning the narrative on its ear and convincing people that the things they say Conservatives are for are actually what the far left stands for. The far left are masters at deflecting and emotive manipulation.

And let me clarify, I’m talking about the FAR LEFT. I don’t believe most Democrats feel this way. I feel like the Democrats have also been hi-jacked and are no longer truly represented because the FAR LEFT have become so loud and prominent in their bullying tactics, thanks largely to Facebook and Twitter, that the Democrat values have been swallowed whole.

And let’s be clear (that seems to be a buzz phrase right now) – I have no ill will against Sarah or this young man in the video. I don’t know either of them. I’m simply responding to this man’s perceptions and Sarah is simply asking a question. I know asking questions seems to be taboo right now but since when I have I ever conformed to group think?

Precisely.

But let’s break this down for those that are truly interested in learning the truth about Conservative and Conservative values.

First, watch the TikTok video and then let’s break it down:

Here are some Conservative principles:

  • The federal government is instituted to protect the rights bestowed on individuals under natural law. It exists to preserve life, liberty and property — a mission that includes not only protecting the sanctity of life but defending freedom of speech, religion, the press and assembly, and the right of individuals to be treated equally and justly under the law, and to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
  • The federal government’s powers should be limited to only those named in the U.S. Constitution and exercised solely to protect the rights of its citizens.
  • Government functions best when it is closest and most accountable to the people and where power is shared between the federal government and the states.
  • Individuals and families make the best decisions for themselves and their children about health, education, jobs and welfare.
  • America’s economy and the prosperity of individual citizens are best served by a system built on free enterprise, economic freedom, private property rights and the rule of law. This system is best sustained by policies that promote general economic freedom and eliminate governmental preferences for special interests, including free trade, deregulation, and opposing government interventions in the economy that distort free markets and impair innovation.
  • Tax policies should raise the minimum revenue necessary to fund only constitutionally appropriate functions of government.
  • Regulations should be limited to those that produce a net benefit to the American people as a whole, weighing both financial and liberty costs.
  • Judges should interpret and apply our laws and the Constitution based on their original meaning, not upon judges’ own personal and political predispositions.
  • America must be a welcoming nation — one that promotes patriotic assimilation and is governed by laws that are fair, humane and enforced to protect its citizens.
  • America is strongest when our policies protect our national interests, preserve our alliances of free peoples, vigorously counter threats to our security and interests, and advance prosperity through economic freedom at home and abroad. Source

Here is a picture that sums up our values. This picture is specific to Texas but it encompasses all Conservatives.

I hope breaking these down helps. Because ALL information helps one make better choices.

Now. Let’s break down this young man’s erroneous assumptions about Conservatism.

Continue reading “Defining Conservative Values – Response to TikTok Video and Tweet”

Politics

“The Time is Always Right to do What is Right.”

These Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes are still, if not more, relevant in today’s world. He was a kind, loving, insightful man of his time who only wanted to peaceably co-exist with one another. He wanted justice for all, not just for African-Americans. We are all human, our skin color is not important. It infuriates me that the left continually pound this racial divide and yet they claim they want unity and are “tolerant” of others.

If you want unity and tolerance, then practice what you preach. Actions speak louder than words.

 

We will never, NEVER, all see eye-to-eye. It will never happen. And bullying your views onto people who don’t believe or think the same as you WILL NOT UNIFIY US. It will only serve to further divide us. Perhaps that’s the end goal, to drive a wedge so deeply that the gap will never be closed. And if that’s the goal, then own it. Don’t pretend you want to unify and compromise with people as long as they unify and compromise your way.

That’s not the definition of unity and/or compromise. Look it up.

Realistically, I think we are too divided to be united at this point in time. Especially with an incoming party who are prepared to do anything and everything in their power to silence you. Newsflash, that is NOT going to unify America. And of course they know that but they continue to do what they do best, lie to our faces and a large part of the country just mindlessly lap it up.

Here are more MLK quotes that I hope inspire you:

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Meaning: “Justice is an abstraction, a generic and theoretical state of perfect harmony in which everything is in a fair balance. But each injustice is a very real, very specific flaw in that balance. Even if we can’t really pin down what we mean by “justice” overall, it’s relatively easy and deeply true to identify specific injustices, and do something about them. And the thing about injustice is, once one realizes that is what it means (i.e. an unfair imbalance in the social order), it does no good to shrug one’s shoulders and say, “Who cares? Those poor souls may be getting a raw deal but it’s not affecting me any.” Because an imbalance in the system does affect you — it affects everyone. If a boat is capsizing because it’s out of balance, everyone on board is going to get wet, not just the fools who are causing the imbalance. Thus, if we let an injustice — an imbalance — get too far out of hand anywhere, it threatens to undermine and capsize the entire ship of state, to everyone’s harm. That’s why “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Source

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Meaning: “If you’re going to try to drive out hate, you need to bring the love. It won’t be pleasant, but it’s the truth. Bringing the love doesn’t mean you believe as they do, or even that you like them. It simply means that you consider the human bond to be stronger than their hate.

If you match them hate for hate, the world will not be a better place for your effort. What little satisfaction you gain will be temporary at best, and will eventually be to the determent of everyone. That’s neither a good plan, nor is it much of a legacy for our children to inherit, a world filled with more hate than ever.

It is my belief that most hatred is based on inaccurate information, or on stories told about injustices of old. The hate can only be kept alive if the recipients of the hate act according to the script. The most disruptive thing we can do to the script is to show them love and compassion, and blow the narrative apart. Are you willing to try?” Source

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

I love this quote because I think it perfectly summarizes the times we live in right now. It’s easy to step onto our podium, point fingers and “preach” about how we should, or should not live  our lives according to the group who yells the loudest, or throw labels loosely around like so much confetti, especially when everything is peaceful and quiet. We have food, shelter, security, we can afford to be magnanimous. But when things get tough, like it’s starting to get now, our freedoms start being stripped way, our voices are being actively muted, our votes are not worth the paper they are printed on, THAT is when our true characters will shine through. Are we tough enough to stand up and say enough is enough? I think we can be, but I also think we’re not quite there …. yet.

“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

Meaning: “He’s essentially saying that freedom has to be fought for. It will be not be given to us by those in power and authority; we need to take it for ourselves. Yes, as human beings we’re all free and the Constitution says we’re all equal, but out in the real world we need to struggle in order to gain and secure our civic freedoms. This is King’s general message, one that has universal application to all of us, irrespective of race.” Source

Our freedoms are being attacked right now. You can roll your eyes or you can pull your head from the sand, it’s happening. The oppressor is our government, both federal and local, media, and social media. They are attacking our freedom to voice our concerns, to vote for our candidates and suppressing information. If the thought of no longer having a voice and being part of a collective doesn’t scare the shit out of you, it should.

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.”

Without law and order, we can not have peace. Think of what happened with the BLM and Antifa riots, how out-of-control they were allowed to get because we pushed, and continue to push, to defund the police. Entire blocks of cities were burned to the ground. People were murdered and continue to be murdered because there are not as many law enforcement officers patrolling. And an entire block was “captured” and “renamed” as it’s own province because we were all too scared to stop it.

Would you say it’s peaceful right now? Of course not. Things are worse than ever because we have fallen in line with a radical group of people who tout getting rid of law enforcement. We will never experience peace if we don’t have law and justice.

Never.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Again, this is more true today than ever. Our way of lives, our freedoms, our constitution, is being threatened because we do not speak up about the injustices that are happening right now. But we’re just protecting you from the big-bad virus, we’re just protecting you from social injustice, we’re protecting you from YOURSELVES. It’s a guise to make people feel like they are being cared for when really they are being controlled. And they, meaning the Socialists and the Marxists who are in control right now, will only continue to chip away at your right to live your life the way you see fit because no one will stand up, no one will speak because they are afraid of being called names.

Being called names, or being labeled this or that is PRECISELY the strategy they play because they know it works. Stop caring what people think. Stop caring if someone labels you. If you are standing up for what is right then who cares what others think. At least you’re not going down without a fight.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

Precisely. When we look back on this time period, we will not remember how our enemy took over or what  our enemy said, we will remember that we, the people, did not stand up and fight back. We allowed it to happen.

“Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.”

I love this quote. So many people say, “but what can I do?” Something. Anything. Start small. Talk to your friends and family. Volunteer in your community. Rally for candidates that you believe in. SPEAK UP. Sitting passively back and allowing the shit to be thrown at you just makes a mess. And no one is happy living in squalor.

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

That time is right now.

Read Martin Luther King Jr’s famous speech here. You can listen to it here.

Politics

Oh Look! There Goes Our Freedom of Speech – Everyone Wave Goodbye!

Watch this:

Did you laugh? Crack a smile?

If not, I’ve got nothing more to offer you.

*sigh*

What a week, right? In a lot of ways, I feel like this actress in the above video – I keep circling back to the same place but I’m lost every time I get there. Nothing makes sense and yet, it all seems familiar.

I had no idea what was happening on Wednesday. I was at work and (thankfully) immersed and focused on clinic. It wasn’t until Kevin text me that I had an inkling of what was happening.

Huge crowds in Washington DC. Trump making speech.

Protestors storm the capital – people have been shot. 

At first, I was like, “cool! People showed up! I wonder if that will help at all.”

And then, “crap. People storming the capital will NOT help at all.”

After clinic was over, I started trolling (reliable) news sources. It looked bad but I reserved judgement.

When I came home, I watched (trusted) commentaries and I. GOT. FIRED. UP.

I sat down and pounded out a heated blog post. I got my frustrations off my chest and I felt satisfied with my words. I scheduled it to post the next day. I went to bed.

I got up the next morning and deleted my post.

It was too heated. It was too biased. And I didn’t want to be a typical Democrat and run off my emotions. I needed to take a minute to breathe and look at the BIG picture. Remember? I challenge myself to remain balance and look at all sides of an issue. It’s not always easy, but I think we all need to challenge ourselves to approach difficult times this way.

And now, here we are several days later and honestly, I think the violence at the capital is the least of our concerns at this point in time.

It’s official, Biden/Harris will be in the White House for the next four years. Georgia elected their Democrat candidates (whether that was a fair election or not remains to be seen – isn’t it sad that we will continue to question the validity of elections from this point on? Even if the Republicans win, we’ll ask ourselves – was it fair??) and now we have a one-party rule. The Democrats are in power and there is NO telling what kind of damage they will inflict the next four years (hopefully two years if we can get more Republican candidates into the House or Senate). They have the power to pass anything. A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Whose going to stop them?

NOBODY.

This fact alone makes me very uncomfortable. And a little scared, to be honest. Take notice, readers, who knows what our country will look like by 2024.

The attack on the capital was not cool. I don’t support it. Violence is never the answer. But I understand it. People were worked up into a frenzy these past two months. We had Trump yelling from the rooftops that the election was a fraud and he actually won. We had Sidney Powell yelling from the rooftops that “she was going to bring on the Kracken.” We had Rudy Guiliano touting his legal team and they were building evidence and were confident they could turn this around. These people gave us hope. They made us believe, though not easy, we had one last chance to turn this nightmare around.

And then … crickets. Nothing. All of the hoopla just sort of died down. Still. I was hopeful. Maybe they were keeping their cards close to their chest, I thought. They didn’t want to show their hand too soon. I could understand that. I was thankful they were doing that. I was hopeful they had an ace up their sleeve. And who knows, maybe they did? But when the courts came back and told them they didn’t have standing and then the Supreme Court refused to hear their case, I knew it was over. I just didn’t see how Trump would pull it off. Still. I had a bit of hope. He’s always managed to get things done in the past. Surely he would pull this off? And he continued to give people hope. He refused to concede. He made it seem like we had a chance at the January 6th Electoral Count. He encouraged people to show up to help support him. And he led people to believe if they would just show up in support on January 6th, we could turn this around.

Now maybe Trump didn’t come right out and say this, but he certainly implied it – I don’t think he ever flat out denied it. But it was enough to spur people into action and they showed up. By the thousands. Which was cool – it showed that people still cared what happened to our country and were worried a Democrat monopoly would ruin our country. But as is often the case when you have thousands of people show up to an event and emotions are running high and they are frustrated and tired of being ignored and/or labeled every time they express concerns or dare to ask a question, you have chaos.

Who knows what sparked the deluge on the capital. Emotions were running so high it wouldn’t have taken much to light that powder keg to begin with. It was a desperate attempt to try and take back control over something they didn’t have any control over for a very long time. Was it right? No. Of course not. But it was human.

And let’s be honest. The woman who got shot trying to climb into a window with a backpack on … it was the only thing that COULD happen. In the moment, in the middle of sheer chaos, those security guys had no idea what her intention was. They had no idea what was in the backpack. They did their jobs, they protected the capital. It was sad it turned out that way, but you can’t act aggressive in situations like that and not expect consequences.

When that happened, I knew it was over for Trump. And indeed, he has had people jumping ship ever since that incident. People are distancing themselves from him because they don’t want to go down with him. Trump is now toxic, politically speaking. It’s sad, but again, I understand the emotion behind it.

Did I think Trump wanted that to happen? Of course not. Do I think Trump encouraged people to show up and act like fools? No. But I think his rhetoric had that unintentional effect.

Biden had the perfect, PERFECT, opportunity to practice what he has been preaching from the beginning of his campaign – unity. Let’s all come together. That situation was the perfect backdrop – everyone agreed it was unacceptable. No one defended the attack on the capital. But Biden/Harris didn’t do that because they do what every Democrat is pre-programmed to do – they took advantage of the crisis and turned it political. Not only did they turn it political, but they further twisted that screw into the narrative to try and blame racial divide. If this is not positive proof that the Biden/Harris administration has NO DESIRE to bring people together, I honestly don’t know what further proof you need.

This is just a TASTE of the divisiveness heading our way. I hope you have a firm hold of something because it’s going to be a bumpy and ugly ride.

It absolutely sickened me the way Biden and Harris handled that situation. They were almost gleeful that they were able to use this as yet another hit on the wedge between sides. They want it their way, or no way. There is no compromise.

Which leads me to the issue I feel is the most serious – the way the social platforms are treating this. Facebook / Twitter have banned President Trump’s account. Facebook has been going through and deleting conservative groups consisting of a million people. These platforms are systematically “purging” any and all opinions that do not support their agenda. And remember the Section 230 hearing that I broke down for you? It’s been voted down. Approving Section 230 would have made Facebook and Twitter publishers, meaning they would not be able to censor people on their platform – they would, under law, have to allow dissenting viewpoints. But since it was not approved, they are not publishers, they remain private companies and they can do what they please. Which, to be fair, is right. They are private companies. People do not have to use them, but what are the alternatives? Facebook and Twitter have been successful in squashing every competitor. Their latest attempt has been to try and de-platform Parler, a site that is similar to Twitter. Apple Play Store and Google Play Store have already removed the ability to download the Parler app onto your phone. Their rationale? They don’t want to promote hate speech. They believe these platforms are what instigated and coordinated the attack on the capital. The real reason? They don’t want to give people a platform in which they dare to express opinions different than their own. They want to make it difficult for conservatives to have a place where they can voice their thoughts and opinions.

It’s 1984 come to life. It’s what Communist China does to their people. They are allowed to use tightly controlled programs that their government manages so they can ensure their message, and no opposing thoughts or opinions, gets to the people. It gives me goosebumps to think we’re heading in the same direction. And do you think Biden/Harris will stop it? NO. They want to do MORE. They don’t think we’ve done ENOUGH censoring.

And it’s all fine and dandy to agree with this censorship when you agree with what is being pushed, how are you going to feel when YOU’RE censored? How would you feel right now if the conservatives were doing this to you and your opinions were left out to dry? I’m betting you wouldn’t be so supportive at that point. Who’s to say it won’t happen to you? What are you going to do? What can you do? Any and all people who might be able to help have already been silenced.

Was Trump annoying with his messages? Yes. Was he less than tactful at times and a bit of a bully? Unquestionably. Did he deserve to be censored? No. Our freedoms of speech are being seriously attacked here and if we don’t fight this it will disappear.

Even if you’re NOT a conservative, would you want that? Remember. As long as you are agreeing with the agenda and going along with the plan, you’re fine to speak up. What happens if you disagree? What happens when you’re no longer allowed to voice your concerns? What happens when your questions are twisted and distorted and you’re called a racist for simply ASKING A DAMN QUESTION?

*takes a breath*

Whew. I need to calm down. I’m getting heated again. But what is happening right now? SHOCKS AND SADDENS ME. And scares me, quite frankly.

I deleted my Twitter account today. My Facebook account has been deleted for quite some time. And not using those platforms does not bother me, they are free platforms free to do what they want. I figure as long as you’re using their product you have to play by their rules. Don’t like them apples? Them dump the basket. But the fact that they are a monopoly and SO big and virtually untouchable, that scares me. What’s the alterative? Right now, we don’t have one.

But then again, why does it really matter? We have certainly survived without these social platforms before, we shall survive without them again. We have the media to …

Oh wait.

We DON’T have the media. The big names, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, FOX  are just as bad as Facebook and Twitter. In fact, they are worse. Because they cherry pick news stories. They take things out of context and twist them into something that resembles THEIR truth. And people buy it, hook, line and sinker. They bend over and cough. They open their mouths and say, “spoon feed me more of your truth please because it hurts my brain too much to resist your crap.”

*sigh*

This is madness, people. Absolute madness. Where do we go from here? What’s next? I think President Trump has given us a hint:

This was posted on the POTUS Twitter account that Obama set up and will transfer to Biden. I think it’s still active, who knows. But the fact that Trump eludes to something coming gives me hope.

Look. This whole situation goes way beyond Trump. In fact, it’s not even about Trump anymore, it’s about Freedom of Speech. There are some people out there that think Trump should run in 2024. I disagree. I think he needs to be done with politics. I’m confident he will never win the presidency again. And if he ran, that would just prevent another Republican candidate of having any chance at all.

No. I think he should stay out of politics. What I think he should do is build a company, a network, a social media platform, that will give Facebook and Twitter a serious run for their money. I think he should build a platform where conservatives can voice their opinion and have a place to express their freedoms of speech. I think that is the only way we’re going to squelch this gross abuse of power from Facebook and Twitter. Trump has the money, he has the brains, and he has the business sense to get it done. And it would give him the ultimate revenge against these companies that tried to muzzle him, and his followers. I have no idea what he has up his sleeve, but I really hope this idea is on the table for him.

So now what? What do we do now? We stay alert and pay attention to what is going on around us. We take a stand and we do NOT allow anyone to silence us. We have gotten to a point where we can’t even ask questions. If you think the Democrats will be satisfied now that Trump is out of office? Think again friends. With Trump gone, who’s left? Conservatives. Us, the people who dare disagree with their radical agendas.

If this sounds dramatic it’s because it is. We’re reached that point. There are no more obstacles. The Democrats have nothing standing in their way. They can do whatever they want because they have complete control.

You asked for it. Here we go. Whatever happens? Is on the people who voted for Biden/Harris. Be careful what you wish for.

Since we started with something funny, let’s end on something funny. I’ve been a fan of JP’s for a while now. Enjoy.

Life

The Obligatory Goals Post

It goes against blogging rules to start the new year WITHOUT posting goals. I can not break the blogging rules, there is no telling what sort of chaos would be unleashed and Lord knows, we don’t need more chaos right now.

Can I get an amen?

Let’s start with my goals from last year. Which I didn’t post. WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY 2020 WAS SO CRAPPY. It’s my fault! Well that explains it. I’m truly sorry for that. Let’s right the world and move on … *ahem*

My 2020 goals were:

  1. Learn calligraphy
  2. Clean out my closet
  3. Write 1st draft
  4. Buy new kitchen table
  5. Complete 1st Bujo project
  6. Complete paint-by-number
  7. Settle finances i.e, living trust
  8. Paint exterior house
  9. Buy/Learn new board games
  10. Buy a new Garmin
  11. Find a PCP (primary care physician)
  12. Make vacation books
  13. Make back bedroom into my office
  14. Buy a new cell phone
  15. Start a writing journal

Let’s see how I did …

  1. I did not learn calligraphy. I bought books and pens, but I haven’t actually practiced. No. That’s not true. I learned a few letters but only enough to do a spread in my bullet journal. I can not, in good conscience, cross this off my list.
  2. Check. I got rid of five bags full of clothes that I’ve been hanging on to for 20 years. My closet is still full, but it’s not overflowing like it was.
  3. Bwhahahaha – we all KNOW this didn’t happen.
  4. Not yet, but we’re on the hunt for one. We currently have a kitchen table with “tiles” and I hate it. Primarily because it gets food/crap in the cracks and we all know I’m not going to take the time to clean them out, unless someone is coming over and then I do it because it’s too embarrassing not to. However, with the boys no longer living with us, and since Kevin and I rarely cook anymore, let alone eat at the kitchen table since our schedules conflict, we don’t use it. (It’s still dirty though).
  5. I did complete a full year of bullet journaling. I’m pretty proud of  myself and I’m totally and completely hooked on bullet journaling now.
  6. I haven’t even started my paint-by-number. This may seem like an odd goal but I bought a Paris scene that I really like and I want to paint it and then hang in my office. I can’t explain why I want to do this, only that I feel compelled to do this.
  7. Check. Kevin and I met with a lawyer last February and put everything in a living trust. We wanted to make sure the boys got everything and the government got nothing. BOOM.
  8. Check. Kevin and I painted the exterior of the house this past October. We lucked out. It took us about three days to paint it and the weather was perfect for those three days. I painted the windows and Kevin did the majority of the work. It was hard work and hopefully we don’t have to do that odious task again for ten years but it looks good!
  9. Check. Sort of. I did buy a new board game, Dead of Winter. I watched videos on how to play it, (of course), but we haven’t actually figured out and/or played it yet. But we will.
  10. I did buy a new Garmin fitness tracker. It’s exactly like my old one, but I did buy a new one. I’ve had the one I’m currently wearing for about five years now and it’s looking pretty worn but I really like it and I really like that I can buy replacement bands for it. It looks like the newer fitness trackers you can’t buy replacement bands for and that irks me. I like choices. I don’t want to buy a new fitness tracker simply because the band has worn out. So I’m sticking to this one because I have replacement bands out the wazoo. I wear a Garmin Vivosmart HR, in case you were curious. We earn health points at work if you walk at least 6000 steps a day, that’s the primary reason why I wear one.
  11. I have not signed up for a PCP yet. Yes. I know. I’m old(ish), I need a PCP. Don’t judge.
  12. We have vacation pictures galore so I want to make vacation books. I want something physical that people can look at if they choose.
  13. Check. We converted Blake’s old bedroom into my office and I’M SO HAPPY WITH IT!
  14. Check. I bought a new cell phone. My last phone was five plus years old and I had gotten to the point that I couldn’t do much with it because it wasn’t supported anymore. I now have a Samsung A51, if you’re curious.
  15. I have not started a writing journal. And I’m not sure I really need one – wouldn’t this blog count as a writing journal?

So I accomplished seven out of 15 goals. Not bad. Better than I thought I would do.

Which brings us to my 2021 goals …

  1. Learn calligraphy – but not just calligraphy, but handwriting in general. I bought “The Ultimate Guide to Modern Calligraphy and Hand Lettering for Beginners” and I’ve been watching The Happy Ever Crafter YouTube channel. I really want to get to a point where I am actually decent at this. I have always hated my handwriting, which is basically printed block letters, and I would like to learn some more fun “fonts” just to spice things up a bit. To learn cute hand lettering techniques, I bought “Cute Hand Lettering for Journals, Planners and More” by Cindy Guentert-Baldo. She also has a fun YouTube channel if you’re a hard-core journaler.
  2. Write 1st draft of novel. I plan on taking advantage of CampNaNoWriMo in both April and July to work on that. Maybe. I plan on participating, I’m just not sure what project I will work on at this point.
  3. Write three short stories and post on my blog per month.
  4. Blog consistently. I have a schedule. Can I stick to it?
  5. Complete that damn paint-by-number.
  6. Find a PCP. *sigh*
  7. Make vacation books
  8. Consistently walk. I really want to tone back up.
  9. Take two long weekends and go to Montana, (I’m sort of obsessed with Montana right now, who knows why), and Florida. We would like to take our annual cruise but who knows if that will happen this year. If the world gods allow, then we will.

And that’s all I can think of for right now. I’m sure I’ll be adding more as I think about them.

Kevin and I are having a debate – is my list a goals list or more like a to-do list? For instance, I was going to put buying a kitchen table back on my list again, we still need one, but Kevin thinks that’s more of a to-do, not a goal.

Let’s look this up:

– A goal is ultimately the outcome you want to achieve. – An objective breaks each goal down into smaller steps, and identifies the specific actions that must be completed in order to achieve the goal. – A task is a specific set of steps taken to achieve the stated objective

So. Buying a kitchen table is a goal. Shopping for one is the task necessary to achieve that goal.

I’m not sure, but I think I made my point?

Anyhoo – vision boards.

Are you into those?

I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about vision boards. I mean, they’re great if you’re a visual person and you look at your vision board and obtain inspiration from it, but I look at vision boards and think they are a pretty collage. But to play along and be a team player, I made one on Canva:

Breaking this down: Blog, write, handlettering/calligraphy, walk and travel. (That’s a picture from Montana – do you see why I’m obsessed with it??)

I don’t know how useful a vision board is to me, but I’m going to print this off at Staples and put it in my bullet journal because I’M A TEAM PLAYER. (Also, I print colored stuff at Staples because it’s too expensive to own a color printer – pro tip for you).

Okay. Enough with the goals.

Comments are open – what are your top three goals you want to achieve in 2021?

Go.