Month: July 2008

random stuff, Uncategorized
Karen

Coffee-Stain

— Pretend You Give a S*it About the Election :: The Onion – LOLOLOLOL!!! Now I don’t care who you are, that’s some funny sh*t right there.

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All I see are boobs :: I’m sorry, what the HECK are you selling again? Watch the video of the two women, do you notice anything strange? Can you tell me what they’re selling. …… Exactly. *snort* What a low, disgusting (and unfortunately effective, according to my husband) tactic to get the males to pay attention. Question is, are they paying attention to the right thing? I’d say no. You? (In case you’re not seeing what I’m seeing, look at their necklines and then tell me if you think this is not a blatant attempt to get your attention. Any product that has to sell out this obviously is not worth my time, IMO).

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Hey guys, wondering if she’s the one for you? Wonder no more.

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I adore this guy’s art ::

Dream Big

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Bored? :: Find the button. (Hint: click on the question mark if you get stuck).

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True Stories:: Told in one sentence. Tell me, what’s your one-sentence story?

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One of the blog posts in my Google Reader that made me laugh out loud this week :: Mommy’s Martini – Notes from Monday Morning at the Gym.

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Group Writing Project – How To — Kailani, at An Island Life, is hosting a group writing project, the subject? How To … The deadline is July 16th. Now get Writing!

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Did you run across something really cool/touching/funny/inspiring this week? Please share the link in the comment section!

Friday Fun

Friday … Ten?

Karen

I’m not sure if anyone will be around today to actually read this, but if this happens to catch your attention in between hotdog bites and watermelon drips, WELCOME! Sit a spell, catch your breath and let’s chat …

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From the Friday5 community:

I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer the first set of questions because food? Doesn’t interest me much. As long as I can satisfy the grumbling in my stomach, I’m happy. In fact, I routinely smash deli meat in a cheese roll for lunch, that’s how much I could care less about fancy-schmancy food. But, I’m in the mood for something challenging today while I wait for my guys to wake up from their much needed lazy morning so, here goes —

1. If a traveling food show were to visit your neighborhood, what are some unique, regional foods it would spotlight, and where would it go to get them?

AARGH! My pea brain can’t take this pressure. Regional food? Here? Uh … I live in the Ozarks so … uh … I THINK we have foods special to this area (see how much I suck at this?). Okay fine, the only sort of food that I think might be special to our area is what Silver Dollar City offers. Gads, I’m pathetic.

Here are some recipes you might find interesting:

Skillet Cookery – which consists of potatoes, sautéed corn, squash, okra (okra! We eat a lot of okra in these here parts), peppers, onions, carrots, chicken and ham.

You say Ozarks, I say SKILLET FOOD! And I can assure you, this is DEE-LISH.

OH! And funnel cakes. OH. MY. GOSH. Funnel cakes are to die for – of course, they are greasy and chock full of BAD calories, but dang it, the grease is what makes ’em good! (*YEEHAWS like the hillbilly she is*).

OH. OH And … Cashew chicken. Now THAT’S specific to Springfield, Missouri. It originated here and we couldn’t find it in Washington D.C., so I’m assuming it’s not offered very many places outside our hick zone. (But what do I know, I don’t get out much. *grin*)

2. On an American cable show, a celebrity chef surprises people by challenging them to a contest featuring their own specialties (he usually loses). If he challenged you to your specialty, what dish would you prepare? If he challenged someone you know, what would that dish be, and how might the competition turn out?

First off, I wouldn’t challenge the man – suck I do at food, Mmmhmm. *Yoda accent* But now my husband … my husband can wield a wok like no other man. (And looks mighty sexy wokking, I might add. Ignore the wonky word). He routinely cooks us Spicy Chicken and Broccoli, Beef and Broccoli, Chicken and Zucchini, and anything else you can imagine would taste good in a wok. I’m pretty confident my husband would win a wok cook-off.

3. What are your feelings about cooking shows on television?

My husband and I love them and usually watch them together. We go through spurts, usually when we’re getting tired of the same ole menu and in the mood to try something new and different. He watches them for new and cool ideas, I watch them because it amuses me how much trouble people go to make something that people will just eat and poop out without nary a thought to the time and trouble it took to cook it.

See? A food connoisseur I’m not. 🙂

4. What kitchen gadgets have you purchased because you saw someone using them on television?

A wok. I KNOW, we didn’t have a wok for the longest time and now I (er, the husband) can’t imagine cooking without it.

5. You get to (or have to, depending on how you feel about it) host your own food show on television. What will it be called and what’s it about?

Oh easy … it would be called “Eat and Run” (you heard that here first. If anyone takes that title for a food show, I want royalties! *grin*) and of course it would be about cooking fast meals easy, with no muss, no fuss and certainly not a lot of clean up time! I think that’s another reason I abhor cooking, the need to dirty up every single pot and utensil in the kitchen and then spending another hour cleaning up. Ugh, no thank you. Give me a sandwich and let’s call it a meal. 😀

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And from the Friday Five Community:

1. What drink wakes you up best in the morning?

You know how you hear people say they can’t think straight until they’ve had their first cup o’ coffee? *points to self* Well yeah, it’s true. My brain cells REFUSE to jiggle (or however brain cells behave) until I’ve had my morning jolt of caffeine. AND, I have to get up at least an hour before my family because I LOATHE to even utter words before I’ve had my morning cup of coffee. Seriously, I’m a grouch when I first wake up … and that’s putting it nicely.

2. During the day, what do you drink to keep going?

Well, I would LIKE to say more coffee, but I have to stay away from caffeinated drinks in the afternoons (at least, on a daily basis) because I then get these caffeine headaches from hell that stay with me for 24-straight hours and which no drug will knock out so it’s not worth getting a temporary buzz when I will be suffering for hours afterward. I usually drink water or juice.

3. Do you drink the recommended 8 glasses of water per day? Why/why not?

Oh yeah. I LOVES me some water. We have a water cooler, therefore we drink distilled water and WOW, that stuff is delicious. I don’t care what you say, there is a HUGE difference between distilled water and tap water (which makes me gag) and it’s cool, clear and crisp and I can’t get enough of the stuff (we routinely go through fifteen gallons of distilled water in two weeks – that’s how much we drink water).

4. What are the ingredients of your favorite mixed drink? (Doesn’t have to be alcoholic!)

This is going to sound pathetic? But … I don’t know. I haven’t really had a mixed drink in … oh, ages. I honestly only drink water. Or, if I’m feeling wild and crazy, I drink Propel (but the husband likes to point out how much sugar is in Propel, which makes me feel guilty for drinking it so then I stop, unless he makes me mad or irritates me and then I drink it out of spite. Oh yeah, I’m a mama bear all right). I used to drink lemonade, but geez, when did it become SO SWEET?

AARGH! I’m turning into one of those disgustingly boring people who turn their noses up at sugar! What’s WRONG with me?!

5. Are you a coffee drinker? How do you take your coffee, if so?

OH whew! Finally, a question I can answer without feeling mentally challenged. YES. I love coffee. I love flavored coffees with lots and lots of sugar because I can’t stand for my coffee to be bitter. And I love creams and milks in my coffee, but I have to remember to take a Lactaid when I drink it like that or I suffer for days afterwards. And that’s ALL I’m going to say on that. *ahem*

Don’t you love how I turn these simple question/answer memes into novels?

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Book Corner

July BAFAB Winner Announced

Karen

Win a FREE book at writefromkaren.com

A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who put their name in the comment pot for my July Buy a Friend a Book (BAFAB) giveaway. And a HUGE THANK YOU to those that posted my button and spread the word – I heart you guys, truly I do.

I’m listing all of the people who were interested in the free book here. Since wordpress.com doesn’t come with that snazzy sticky feature (I miss the sticky feature wordpress! Waah!), I’m going to have to clear the FREE BOOK page so I can use it again for October’s BAFAB drawing. (Sorry about the comments disappearing! When I closed comments on the FREE BOOK page wordpress made them disappear! They are still there, you just can’t see them! ACK!)

But I didn’t want to lose all of the comments, or the lnks to the wonderful people who left a comment, so, I’m listing them here so their links remain and I can do what I need to do with the FREE BOOK page.

Capiche?

Don’t worry, it doesn’t really make sense to me, either. 😀

Here are the uber-cool people who put their names into the comment pot (in no particular order):

1. Shoshana 2. Danica 3. Melanie 4. Tina
5. Julie 6. Sandy 7. Emily 8. Dawn
9. Teresa W. 10. Lori Barnes 11. Elaine 12. Lulliannie
13. The Book Muncher 14. Samantha 15. Karin A 16. Johannah B
17. Carol Ezovski 18. Kristine Peacock 19. Janelle 20. Lizzie
21. Juxtabook 22. Melanie 23. Debbie 24. Book-Adorer
25. Ryan 26. Chel 27. Judy 28. The Story Siren
29. Marianne 30.avni 31. Deborah 32. ellie
33. Cyndi 34. Breanna 35. Lucy D 36. Alessandra
37. erica 38. emily 39. Nitestar 40. Joy @ Joy of Desserts
41. Pamk 42. bunnyb 43. Archana 44. Deb – Mom of 3 Girls
45. kegsoccer 46. Margay 47. Pamk 48. Nicole
50. Becca 51. Popin 52. Julie 53. Katie
54. Tina

After running the number of commenters through random.org, here are the top three picks:

July BAFAB Winner

CONGRATULATIONS BECCA!!!

(In the event that I can’t reach Becca within three days (by 5:00 p.m. U.S. central time July 6th), the second person listed wins the book. So, if your number was drawn, check your email!)

Thanks again for participating, everyone! I LOVELOVELOVE doing this every quarter! Please bookmark me and we’ll do this again in October!

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Prompt Fiction

Fiction: Missing Youth

Karen

Thursday Thread
Thursday is the day I post a bit o’ fiction.

This was originally published May 2, 2007

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Missing Youth

Clara glanced at her watch and frowned. It was nearly time to get back but she just couldn’t force herself to move. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the children were having so much fun playing and chasing each other in the park.

She sighed. She missed having little ones under foot. She missed her grandchildren. She missed her family. Lifting a hand, she shielded her eyes from the afternoon glare. The man on her left shifted a bit and caused the park bench to groan in protest.

Clara looked over at her companion; Ben was asleep and snoring softly. She shook her head in disgust and turned her attention back to the children. How could he sleep on a day like this? There was so much activity, so much life, to appreciate and soak in before going back. There would be plenty of time to sleep, later.

A black and white checked ball bounced off her foot momentarily startling her. A little boy, not more than five, walked shyly toward her. She offered an encouraging smile, careful not to show her teeth; she didn’t want to scare the boy.

“ello,” she croaked in a throaty voice.

The boy hesitated. His eyes darted back and forth between the ball and his friends, he was clearly debating on whether it was worth confronting her to retrieve the ball or simply run back to his friends and forget about the toy.

Clara bent slowly from the waist and tried to pick up the ball, but her bones protested loudly and her muscles locked and refused to stretch. She sighed loudly and lifted one bony shoulder into a shrug. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I can’t pick it up. Can I kick it to you?” The croak had worked itself out of her voice and the sound came out soothing and friendly. She was pleased at the change and smiled again; this time, the smile reached her eyes.

The boy visibly relaxed at her smile and nodded eagerly. He ran back several paces and Clara laughed softly. “No my child. I can’t kick it that far. You’ll have to come a little closer.”

Ben suddenly twitched next to her and emitted an abrupt snore. The boy jumped and Clara laughed again. “Don’t mind him. He’s just dreaming.” She blinked to bring the ball into focus. “Okay, ready now?”

The boy’s face stretched into a wide grin and he clapped his hands to signal he was ready. Clara summoned what little strength she had, brought her foot back and kicked.

Only she missed and the ball remained near her feet. She glanced up at the boy. The boy stared back at her. Suddenly, they both erupted into giggles. “I’m sorry,” Clara struggled to say past her amusement. “I guess I’m out of practice.”

The boy approached her and placed a small hand on her bare arm. His smile was beatific and his eyes sparkled with life and innocence. “S’ok,” his voice tinkled out. “My mom’s not a very good kicker, either.” He gave her arm little reassuring pats before picking up the ball.

A lump formed in Clara’s throat and she felt an overwhelming sadness surround her heart. She missed her grandchildren. Dear God, she missed them.

A soft rumble eased its way past the sounds of the park and caught the boy’s attention. Clara nodded off into the distance. “It sounds like rain’s coming.”

The boy nodded in agreement. “Yeah. My dad said it was gonna rain today.”

“Your dad is a smart man.” Clara said.

“Yeah,” the boy responded. “’Cept when it comes to fixing things. Mom says he’s not a very good fixer.” He grinned. Clara’s heart jumped at his expression and she noted, for the first time, one of his front teeth was missing.

“Mark!” A voice called toward them.

“Oops. That’s me. I gotta go.” Mark patted her arm again. “Thanks for trying to kick the ball.”

Clara’s eyes began to fill with tears at the boy’s kindness. Her throat closed up and she found she couldn’t speak. She simply nodded and smiled at him in return.

She watched Mark run off, and with each stride of his chubby legs, her smile dissipated until finally, it disappeared altogether.

“Mrs. Stevens?” A deep male voice sounded next to her right ear, a large hand rested on her shoulder. “Are you ready to go?”

“But,” she glanced at the thin gold watch on her wrist. “It’s not time yet.”

“There’s a storm coming, we should go. Are you ready?”

She swallowed a sigh and sadly nodded her agreement.

Life

Bang for Our Buck, Bad Sunscreen, Take Time for Yourself

Karen

Random thoughts that aren’t quite good long enough to devote an entire post to:

  • We bought fireworks. And we spent $50.00, which isn’t as bad as last year when we spent $80.00. We spent nearly half of that on this fancy-schmancy “Dirty Dozen” package which are these cool balls you drop into a tube and then fire off and watch explode into the kind of explosion you see at the bigger fireworks show. We’ve bought the Dirty Dozen for the past three years now and have never been disappointed. Other than that, we stuck to fountains and roman candles. We tend to stay away from the spinning, shrieking crackers that are unpredictable and inevitably zero in on one of us so that we’re running and screaming down the street in an attempt to get away from it. We’ve had too many close calls these past years and we’ve learned our lesson.

    Also, word to the wise, even though it clearly says on the package, DO NOT HOLD ROMAN CANDLES IN YOUR HAND. Seriously, don’t be tempted to hold it in your hand. We have ignored that advice for years and last year, GD was holding a candle and nearly had his fingers blown off when it exploded in his hand. Heed the warnings folks, use a tube or some sort of bottle.

    When I was uploading a couple of videos to my YouTube account, I stumbled across this video, it’s GD holding a roman candle:

    Vodpod videos no longer available.
    AGAIN, DO NOT DO THIS! VERY DANGEROUS! VERY STUPID!!

    Not one of my more stellar parenting decisions, let me assure you.

  • The boys and I tried to go swimming yesterday. Only when we got to the pool, it was closed – on a beautiful, sunny, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky, hot summer day. To say I was peeved would be putting it mildly. We walked up to the entrance to see what the heck was going on. Apparently, this particular pool wasn’t busy enough to warrant being open every day, so now, it’s only open Thursday through Sunday.

    Swell. I bought swim coupons, people. It works out to be ten swims for me and the boys. I haven’t had a chance to use one of those coupons yet because the weather has been too wet and cold to go swimming. And then we went on vacation. And now we’re back and ready to enjoy summer but our pool is closed. AAARGH. Oh sure, we could go to another public pool, but quite honestly, I hate every other public pool because A. they’re busier than snot (is snot busy?) and B. the kids are mean and I’m spending most of my time trying to get our balls back (because I usually end up throwing the balls at the boys so they can dive for them).

    To add insult to injury, I lathered myself up with Banana Boat sunscreen, which I’ve had for the past two years, and it must be bad or something because I didn’t smell like delicious coconut, oh no, I smelled like burnt plastic.

    UGH. I nearly gagged. But I endured the smell thinking, “Oh well. I’ll just sweat it off.” No biggie, right? Wrong. Since we didn’t get to go swimming, I had to wash it off when I got home because I couldn’t stand the smell of myself. Afterwards, I made a special trip up to Wally World (translation: Wal-Mart) and bought some fresh sunscreen. I never realized sunscreen went bad?

  • I’m still working out to Turbo Jam. I think I’m going to insert the keywords Turbo Jam in nearly every one of my posts because that seems to be what’s bringing people to my blog. I love Turbo Jam. Turbo Jam is awesome! I wish I could do Turbo Jam everyday.

    I’m ESPECIALLY loving the “Punch, Kick and Jam” session. It’s 45 minutes long and a bit more athletic than the other workouts, but MAN. My arms feel like rubber after doing it. And I have to be honest, folks, you really CAN tell a difference in your body after a few sessions. If you can muster up the energy to do it (and remember, your energy comes from your MIND – as Chalene Johnson likes to remind us – love that woman), then by all means, do it.

    This reminds me of an analogy I was going to share with ya’ll: You know when you’re on the plane and getting ready to take off, the flight attendants do their spiel about if the cabin pressure drops, then an oxygen mask will drop from the compartment above and if you have a small child next to you, you should put your mask on first and then help the child? When I first heard this, I was horrified. What?! How selfish! I thought.

    But then I thought, wait. That’s smart. Because if you don’t take care of yourself first, then how can you expect to be CONSCIOUS enough to take care of the child? I mean, if you pass out, then who’s going to help the child, right?

    Well, the same can be said for taking care of YOU. Both physically and mentally. If you’re tired all the time, or feel blah, or ugly, or depressed, or stressed or yadda yadda yadda, then how can you expect to be in any condition to take care of your children to the best of your ability? You say you don’t have time to work out? Make time. Exercise. Not only are you clearing out the cobwebs, you’re giving your body an energy boost AND you’re setting a good example for your children. And just like anything else you don’t want to do, once you start exercising, I’m betting you start enjoying yourself and I can guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself when it’s over.

    And just don’t take care of your body, take care of your mental state, too. Take some time to slow down, relax, breathe, do something you enjoy doing without your kids around. Give yourself a mental break – we all need them. Stop beating yourself up and thinking, “but isn’t that selfish?” It’s selfish to ensure you’re functioning on all cylinders so you CAN take care of your children? Don’t you think they are benefiting from a rested, and more patient, parent?

    I don’t mean to be preaching at ya’ll, but I’m getting a bit tired of reading about how mothers all over the blog’o’sphere are feeling guilty for taking a little time to themselves. Just because you have children doesn’t mean your needs disappear. In fact, your needs magnify ten-fold. But we’re so conditioned to think we’re being selfish or bad parents if we take the time out to refresh and recharge …

    It just irritates me. Stop feeling guilty. Take some time for yourself. Your kids will survive (and in fact probably need time away from YOU, too) and the world will continue to revolve.

    Okay? Okay. Lecture over. 😉

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