Definition of OBSTINATE
1: perversely adhering to an opinion, purpose, or course in spite of reason, arguments, or persuasion
2: not easily subdued, remedied, or removed
Come now, I’m betting you can think of at least ONE person who fits this bill …
I can. And BOY HOWDY, can this woman be obstinate – so much so, that I avoid talking to her at all costs because not only is she obstinate, she doesn’t even make sense in her arguments half the time.
Not to mention, she’s extremely vocal and extremely annoying.
And if there’s anything I can’t stand more, it’s a person who refuses to even entertain the thought that he/she may be wrong.
There’s a time to be stubborn, there’s a time to be confrontational, there may also be a time to be obstinate, but there’s also a time to concede a point and swallow that dose of humility like an adult.
Hey. I’m not saying I can’t be obstinate, in fact, I’ll be the first person to admit that I am probably one of the most obstinate people on this planet, but I also know when I’m wrong and I’m also willing to waver on my point if (and that’s a big IF) the other person can LOGICALLY convince me otherwise.
I don’t respond to emotional outbursts very well. I completely lose self-control if someone gets in my face and starts yelling – the conversation/debate/argument, whatever you want to call it, is OVER for me. Done. Moving on. Follow me, pursue it, at your own risk.
But I’ve learned that there is an art to discussing sensitive topics – it’s called the art of rhetoric. It’s all about ethos, pathos and logos and though there will be people out there that roll their eyes, that are convinced that they are great debaters without knowing these “tricks”, I’m here to say, you’re wrong. It’s all about language, it’s all about finessing that language and using it so that your point gets across without offending someone or putting them on the defensive.
It’s all about tricking (I’m not sure that’s the right word, but I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description of what our politicians do, wouldn’t you?) people into listening to our point of view. It’s all about PERSUADING people into believing what we’re saying is valid and right.
Obstinate people will not listen. Obstinate people are wildly irrational (most times). And I’m telling you right now, it’s a waste of time, energy, and breath trying to “debate” an obstinate personality.
So hear this, obstinate person, I will not debate you because you’ve already made up your mind; you’re not mature enough to listen and/or concede when you are wrong.
And you ARE wrong. So, so wrong.
I’m participating in the A to Z challenge. Just post something every day with the appropriate letter (except for Sundays), and then submit your link to one of the hosts and don’t forget to visit other participants! Also, you can find other A to Z participants on Twitter via the #atozchallenge hashtag. (This trying to relate the alphabet to your life thing is HARD. It’s taxing my brain and oh look! A puddle of brain mass. Sweet).