Saturday Stuff

Grammar Police

“Hey, are you going out? I need a birthday party flavor.”

I blinked. Huh? “Don’t you mean favor? Flavors are something you taste.” I gave her a confused look.

She laughed. “Wait. What did I say?” She flapped her hand impatiently. “Never mind, we’re running out of time, Ms. Grammar police.”

I bristled. “I’m not the grammar police, but it’s important to use the right word whenever …”

She interrupted. “Look. I don’t have time for this. So. This is my ideal …”

I cringed. “You mean idea,” I offered.

She huffed. “WHY are we friends again?”

That’s a good question, I thought.





This is a themed writing meme hosted by Jenny Matlock. The goal is to write something that does not exceed 100 words. The prompt is in bold.


Girls Just Wanna Run … the Actual Event

Well … that was fun. 😀

Girls Just WAnna Run 5K - July 2012

I just finished the 2012 Girls Just Wanna Run 5K – or in my case, Girls Just Wanna Walk 5K. That’s right, I’m a walker, and I’m not afraid to admit that.

I can’t run. Well, I CAN, I just choose not to because it tears the crap out of my knees (we all agree it sucks to get older, right? Right), so I speed walk. I’m not an attractive walker – when I walk, I mean BUSINESS, YA’LL. I pump my arms and I’m huffing and puffing trying to out walk my fellow 5Kers … and I get the job done. I had my iPod today playing some pretty awesome Electronica music (Kevin HATES Electronica-style music, but it’s the perfect beat to walk to when you’re speed walking – try it sometime), and I was a walking machine.

Even though my back was KILLING ME today. How ironic is it that I have back problems and work for back doctors? (And I didn’t just say that and if you read this, I command you to forget that … please?) Yep. I have back problems. And it’s likely due to the fact that my spine has a little curvature to it (so does Dude’s – in fact, his spine might be even more curvy than mine) AND when I was working for Wendy’s, decades ago, I was on a ladder, trying to change the marquee out in front of the building and I’m stupid and stood on the very top of the ladder, which made it topple over and I landed on top of the ladder when I fell and bruised my kidneys and had to go to the hospital to have SEVEN enemas to flush my kidneys out in order to inject dye so they could see what sort of damage I did to myself, (*takes a breath*) and yeah, I’ve had back problems ever since but haven’t gone to a doctor about it because one time, way back when I was going to college, my back gave out entirely and I went to the ER and they did an MRI but couldn’t see anything worth getting excited about (*takes a breath*) and treated me like I was stupid for coming in and sent me home with muscle relaxers which did NOTHING and I suffered through it until it finally healed so I WILL NOT go back to the doctor unless I break my back or something equally dramatic.

How’s that for summarizing about twenty years of my life? You’re welcome.

Anyway. My back flares up once in a while, I really don’t know what triggers it, but I just suffer ignore it and, well, life goes on, right? Like today – I ignored it and walked the 5K anyway because I’m super stubborn like that and I WILL NOT succumb to stuff like this because life’s too short to moan and groan through.

Can I get an amen??

I was hoping Kevin would come and take pictures. I was going to take pictures, but then I would have had to walk 3.5 miles holding my camera and that would have sucked, though I could have used the nifty backpack they handed out, but that would have flopped when I walked and drove me crazy, so no, I didn’t take pictures and Kevin didn’t come because when you do these 5K’s, they start too freaking early in the morning and it’s hard to get up on a Saturday and I couldn’t blame the man so … no pictures. But hopefully, I can talk Kevin into coming to the next one so he can take pictures even though I will likely blur my face because you guys are awesome and I wouldn’t want to expose you to the ugly that is my face without makeup on … or with makeup on, I suppose it doesn’t make a difference when you think about it.

(*takes a breath*)

I think my adrenaline is still flowing.

I was hoping not to see anyone I work with because I literally fell out of bed, ran a comb through my hair and went to the 5K, so I looked pretty rough. But of course, I saw EVERYONE that I work with and now they know what a hideous creature I turn into on the weekends. Swell.

This was my second 5K. I am really digging these 5K’s, because I walk three plus miles whenever I’m in my exercise kick and it’s really fun to participate in something SO BIG and, of course, for a worthy cause. I really like 5K’s when we get to the point where it starts to thin out and people don’t have to navigate slower traffic anymore and suddenly, you’re walking with a bunch of strangers who ignore you and it’s fun to be encouraged along the route by volunteers who stand at various points en route to clap and encourage you to keep going.

I also get really embarrassed when they do that, too. I must look like I’m struggling to finish judging by their reactions whenever I walk by … LOL. And then there is the momentary flash of embarrassment whenever you get close to the finish line and several people are lined up, cheering you on and generally bringing attention to you – not to mention when they yell, “Congratulations Karen M_____, you made it!” whenever you cross the carpets that not only clock your time, but identify you from the chip you have fastened to your shoe.

I thought I had gotten off scott free whenever I crossed the finish line and hadn’t seen anyone I knew … until I walked a little further into the chaos to find some water and there they were – the girls I work with. UGH. They tried to hide their shock when they recognized the freak that was in front of them was the person they work with every day.

I almost laughed out loud, but I refrained and concentrated instead on trying to hide my horror and frustration that I wasn’t able to mingle in with about 1,000 other women.

Just my luck.

I should have stuck around. They had a Zumba demonstration and I would have liked to have seen that, but my back was killing me and I had about all the exercise I could stomach for one day.

I was home by 9:00 a.m

Which is another reason why I really like these 5K’s – I still have the entire day ahead of me.

That is, after I’ve come home and collapsed onto the bed to take a 30-minute nap.

Because I’m old. And that sort of stuff sucks the energy right out of an old person such as myself.