The small, insignificant, day-by-day things that happen in my life.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I just finished reading “A Walk to Remember” by Nicholas Sparks. I have mixed feelings about Sparks’ writing. There is no question that he writes emotional stories – I can’t recall a time I’ve ever read a story of his and didn’t cry, but his writing is so simplistic, it’s almost insulting. I’m reading “The Scent of Scandal” by Carole Matthews now. Matthews is pretty entertaining’ I’m looking forward to it.

I have a skinned knee. Do you know how embarrassing it is, a grown woman, to walk around with a big, ugly scab on her knee? Here’s what happened: Kevin removed the ramp to his office and stupid me forgot that little tidbit. I was carrying my computer chair into his office for his boss (who comes over twice a week, though that should change now that Kevin is driving – they are going out to lunch tomorrow) so he could use it while talking to Kevin and since you have to step down into Kevin’s office (he converted our screen-in back porch), I put my foot out there fully expecting to step on a ramp, only the ramp was gone and I stepped into nothingness, lost my footing, and fell onto the concrete floor (that has been covered with indoor/outdoor carpeting because we’re fancy like that), and went to my knees. I had a pretty nasty rug burn on my knee and the side of my foot. I suppose I should be thankful that I didn’t break a bone.

Every morning, at 9:30 in the morning, I go into Dude’s room to wake him up. I turn his fan off, pull the covers off his skinny body and then turn his clock radio on – to an old-time gospel station. I laugh because the music is quite annoying to begin with, I can’t imagine waking up to it. And judging by Dude’s reaction each morning, he’s not too thrilled about waking up to it either.

I bought an external hard drive today. I got it at Wal-Mart – 320 gigabytes for $60 bucks. And it’s purple. I have a purple external hard drive. That makes me happy, for some odd reason. (I’m also determined to buy a pink laptop next time, just you watch me). I can’t wait to use it. I need it because I’m constantly making backups and burning DVD’s drives me nuts. I have two DVD cases full of backups. Though I will continue to make DVD backups, with an external hard drive, I won’t have to make them quite as often. And it’s purple, I mentioned that part, right? I’m such a geek.


Thursday, August 5, 2010

I reformatted my laptop today. I both love and hate reformatting. On one hand, it’s like a BRAND NEW COMPUTER! when I’m finished. On the other hand, it TAKES NEARLY ALL DAY to wait while it updates and installs things. *sigh* Reformatting my laptop is a heck of a lot easier to do than my personal computer. The Internet, for example, practically installs itself. Since it’s WiFi, it just looks for WiFi hotspots and that’s it. (Well, I had to put our WEP code in, but you know what I mean). Whereas my personal computer, I have to go to “My Network Places”, set up the workgroup blah blah blah. But I mentioned it’s like having a brand new computer when it’s all said and done, right? (I just transferred my entire iTunes library over and the whole process was smooth as butta).

I took the boys to buy school supplies today. They both love those trappers that have the handles on the outside. It always amuses me whenever I see Dude walking to my car after school, carrying it like a briefcase. Hey, if it helps him take school a bit more seriously, then I’m all for it. I’ll gladly fork over the $20 bucks needed to buy the thing. (*gulp*) We didn’t buy much else. When your kids are in high school, the school supply list consists of trapper, paper and pencils, and that’s about it.

We headed to Shoe Carnival afterward. I actually dislike Shoe Carnival because of the non-stop jabbering about hot deals and so forth on the intercom, it all seems so cheap and tacky, but they have the buy one, get one half price thing and since I have to buy two pairs of sneakers, I usually save about $30 bucks going there. Jazz found his pair right off the bat. Dude took about thirty minutes to finally decide. I have made so many of Dude’s decisions for him when he was growing up, he has sort of gotten into the habit of stepping back and letting me decide on stuff. I don’t do that any more. I sat down in a chair, crossed my legs and simply said, “Let me know when you’ve picked something.” He kept gravitating toward a pair that he really liked, only the tongue is a bit rough around the edges and I’m concerned they will end up rubbing the top of his feet raw. We went ahead and bought them, but I have a feeling we’ll be monkey rigging those things in the near future.

I wish I could say the boys and I had a good time today, but I would be lying. I always look forward to doing things like this with them and I’m always disappointed. They both HATE to shop and what can I expect? They’re teenage boys, not girls, it’s sort of in their nature to hate it. Plus, we’re getting ready for school, and if I haven’t shared with you all, my boys LOATHE school. (Well except for Jazz, he likes it only because of band).

I followed a twitter link today to a really bizarre and disturbing news story. It was one of those stranger than truth stories and I loved it. So much, in fact, that I’m using the idea for my National Novel Writing Month story in November. It feels really good to already have something in mind for that writing project. It will be my sixth time participating in the program. I’m glutton for punishment, apparently.


Friday, August 6, 2010

What an emotional roller coaster day.

The day started out pretty quiet. I spent most of it on my laptop, installing my programs, tweaking the settings so that it was exactly how I wanted it. I also ran across a really nifty (and FREE) writing program called yWriter. I haven’t had a chance to really dig into it yet, but I plan to after I finish this entry.

Kevin and I had just gotten back from the UPS store (he needed to have a document notarized) when I got an email from my mom – my grandmother passed away this morning. (My dad’s mom).

We all knew it was just a matter of time, she’s been suffering from Alzheimer’s and Dementia for a number of years, but still, it was shocking. I took a moment to absorb it before telling Kevin and the boys. Jazz could see I was pretty upset and he hugged me.

“It’s okay, mom.”

That somehow made it worse, though I appreciated his kindness. I’ve been crying off and on all day. I have so many regrets when it comes to my grandparents (I wrote about those regrets) so I’m sad that she’s gone, I’m sad that she suffered so much these past years and I’m sad for my missed opportunity, an opportunity I blew, on my own and all by myself.

I wanted to call my dad, but I wasn’t sure he would feel up to talking. I think my mom is on vacation this week on account of the fair, so hopefully she’s with him. It bothers me to think he might be home alone. I can’t imagine how my grandfather is coping right now.

Her funeral will likely be on Monday, though no definite plans have been made at this time. Jazz will be at band camp, but Dude should be there with us. It will be Dude’s first funeral.

A couple of Dude’s friends dropped by today, but Dude wouldn’t let me answer the door. He didn’t want to see them. When I pressed him as to why, he told me that when he spent the night over at his buddy’s house a few months back, they smoked pot. He said they offered him some and he refused – I believe him.

It doesn’t bother me so much that he was exposed to that, it was bound to happen sooner or later, and I’m proud of him for refusing to succumb to peer pressure, but it bothers me that he held that in all this time. We’ve always told the boys that if they ever found themselves in an uncomfortable situation with their friends to call us – no questions asked. No lectures, no explanations needed; we would talk about stuff later. So the fact that he didn’t call and stuck around all night sort of bothers me. I hope he wasn’t too scared to call us, and I hope he’s not too scared to call us in the future, if it happens again. (Which it probably won’t with these particular friends. Not only does he not wish to be friends with them anymore, I’m not sure we would allow him to hang out with them anymore).

So, my emotions have been all over the board today – sadness, regret, grief, surprise, shock, worry, anxiety, a touch of anger. I’m ready for this day to end.


Saturday, August 7, 2010

It was a quiet day. I battled yet another caffeine headache; I seem to be getting a lot of those lately. I have to ration my caffeine intake. I have one cup of coffee in the morning and then every other afternoon I have either half a cup of warmed left-over coffee, or a Red Bull. If I drink too much caffeine in the afternoon, I inevitably get a headache that lasts for DAYS. It’s annoying. I found that if I drink more than 8 ounces of Red Bull, that seems to trigger these headaches, too. Excedrin Migraine usually knocks these headaches out of the park, but they have aspirin in them, which does strange things to me, so I have to ration how much I take of that, as well. I’m complicated, what can I say?

Nephew came by and mowed our grass today. We’ve been paying him to come mow our grass every week until Kevin can get back on his feet. I feel a little weird with this arrangement considering we have two teenage boys who could do that job, but Kevin likes how J mows our grass and he doesn’t feel like fighting with the boys on making them do it right. (Though it would be good for them, but it’s his decision).

Found out when my grandmother’s funeral is: Tuesday. My mother-in-law wanted to go, but I feel uncomfortable with that. I know her heart is in the right place (wanting to support me), but she didn’t know my grandmother and I’m going to have my hands full with keeping my own emotions in check while trying to offer support to the rest of my family. I just don’t have the energy to try and put on airs in front of her. She’s a sweet lady and I appreciate the offer, though.

We bought an external hard drive for Kevin. He wants to get rid of an extra computer in his office. In fact, he wants to simplify our lives, period. With his grandmother’s death, my grandmother’s death and his accident, his entire view on life in general has changed. He doesn’t want to leave a lot of crap behind for our sons to sort through. We’re also going to set up our wills and start a payment plan on plots of land for our burial. I know that all sounds morbid, and I’m not exactly comfortable talking about such issues, but they are real-life issues that need to be taken care of. You just never know when life will throw you a curve ball.


I’ve been using Oh Life to record my daily events. I love it because they send you an email at 8:00 p.m. every night asking you how your day went. You reply to the email and it automatically posts to your Oh Life account. I’ve been wanting to record the day-to-day happenings in my life because, well, I forget this stuff. I realize it may be pretty boring and worthless to you all out there, but to me? They’re precious moments.

These entries are raw, immediate and from the heart. You can expect to see these updates every Wednesday and Sunday (or thereabouts)

Thanks for reading.