Reflections

Reflections: Future Mate

I love these question-type books because so often we’re so focused on the future that we place the past on a shelf to gather dust and/or be forgotten. I think it’s important to document our lives, not only the special times, but all times because life is too important, and too short, to forget. Answering questions from the Honey book, are my way of remembering my past and passing those special times on to my sons, husband and you, dear blog reader. Remembering the past helps us understand the people we’ve become.

This is addressed to my husband, minus the really personal stuff and edited for public reading. 🙂

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Long before we met, what did you picture your future mate would be like?

Believe it or not, I never pictured my future mate – ever.

I didn’t have fancy daydreams about what my wedding would be like when I was a girl. I loved acting out weddings with my dolls, but I never once gave my own wedding much thought; getting married and living happily ever after was never high on my priority list. I really have no idea why – I suppose I was too busy trying to secure my career aspirations and finding out what I wanted from life to ever really think about a future life partner.

And you know me, I’m a person who has always lived in the future, so you would think picturing, and planning for, my future husband would be something I would think about, at least once in a while.

True, I did think about having a steady boyfriend. I never really had any one boy/man in my life for very long – and that was mostly my fault for as you know, I felt it was necessary to dump the guys first before they had a chance to dump me later to protect my heart from being broken.

You certainly know how long it took you to get close enough for me to let me guard down (and even to this day, I don’t feel like it’s completely down), so you can imagine how cautious I was back then with men.

And though I craved the companionship, I was fine with the thought that it might not happen. I wasn’t one of those females who defined their very existence based on a man’s opinion or approval – I would be me and if someone accepted that, great. If not, then life would go on and I would find a way to be happy, with or without a steady mate.

Then I met you. I was 24 and really just beginning my career at the bank. I was focused, carefree and completely open to new experiences and relationships, if they happened to come my way. I certainly wasn’t going to go out and actively find them myself.

When Lacey introduced us, and I saw your handsome face and charming smile, I began to entertain the thought that perhaps it would be fun to share my life with someone else. And when you spoke to me for the first time and made me laugh, I began to hope that that someone would be you.

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I recorded this story through AudioBoo. You can find the recording here.