Saturday Stuff

Small Talk Six: Me? Spoil Our Boys? Never!

List six ways you indulge or spoil your children

Actually, I think it’s more apt to say:

List six ways you DON’T indulge or spoil your children.

Because yes, I’ll be the first to admit it, our boys are spoiled.

But they’re not brats.

No really! I KNOW parents SAY their kids aren’t brats, but honestly, our boys are not brats.

Usually. πŸ™‚

Let’s see if I can narrow down the ways we spoil out kids (and then offer excuses for doing so):

1. Allow them to play video games for as long as they wish. (Hence the reason they’re both uber geeks and never leave the house. BUT, geeks make money AND I know where they are … so WIN!)

2. Though we expect them to make their beds and keep their rooms clean, we don’t really require them to do anything else around the house. (Though they will if we ask them. But we have to ask them, they don’t usually do it of their own free will. That’s a bit annoying, actually).

3. Pretty much buy them anything (as long as they follow the rules and continue to do well in school).

4. Take them on awesome family vacations every summer. (Confession: I actually do this one for ME because they’ll be moving out soon and I want to take advantage of this time together).

5. I buy them junk food and soda in the hopes they will actually GAIN weight. (They are both so skinny!)

6. The boys both have their own computers – with Windows Vista (I’m still on XP). We pretty much buy them anything and everything electronic because it gives US an excuse to do the same because come on man, it’s FUN to play with that stuff.

Am I wrong? πŸ˜€

Reflections

Reflections: Siblings


*photo credit

From time to time, I’ll be recording thoughts and events from my past. These memories are prompted from the Between Me and You, Mom memory book. I plan on filling this book out one of these days to pass onto my children. I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds the lives of our parents fascinating. It’s weird to think of my parents as children and it’s really fun to hear stories about their past, how they met, etc. If my children read about my past, perhaps they will understand me just a little better.

___________________________________

What was your sister and brother like when you were growing up?

I have one younger (3 yrs) sister and one younger (7 yrs) brother.

I’m the oldest.

Sort of explains a lot, doesn’t it.

But if I had to sum my siblings up in one word?

Sister: quiet. I don’t really remember talking to my sister very much growing up. And I think it was mainly because I was off in my own little world. But my sister was so quiet that I wasn’t sure how to relate to her; I don’t feel like we ever found any common ground with which to build a relationship. I take the bulk of the blame here because I didn’t make much of an effort to FIND that common ground.

She didn’t talk much. She liked to stay in her own little world and because she was so quiet and I was so self-absorbed, I just sort of ignored her and never took the time to get to know her.

Just one of many regrets in my life.

Brother: funny. He’s seven years younger than I am. So … it was like, “Oh look at my little brother. See how funny he is? Okay, now go away little boy.”

πŸ˜€

I watched him grow up from afar. And when my parents moved away shortly after I graduated from high school, my brother would have been eleven or so, I simply lost touch with him. He grew up without me around.

So again, I don’t really feel like I know my brother enough to say anything more.

Wow. It sort of sounds pathetic, doesn’t it. Not knowing my own family?

And that probably says a lot about my personality.

And I’m thinking it’s not saying anything positive.

(Feel free to take this question and write your own blog post!)

random stuff

Who Looks Like Whom?

So, I saw this nifty little quiz over at Momma Blogs A Lot and I HAD to try it and may I just say …

… WHAT THE HECK?!?

These results are completely BACKWARD from what I would have guessed. I would have guessed Dude looked more like me (probably because of my coloring and he SO reminds me of my brother) and Jazz is TOTALLY Kevin’s family (coloring and they looked identical when they were babies).

When I told Kevin the results, he wrinkled his nose and said, “No way.” So this means the results are totally bogus, of course. πŸ˜‰

But I sure had fun doing them!

I don’t know, what do YOU think about my results?

What about you? Who do your kids take after? (You don’t have to take this quiz if you don’t want to, you have to register for an account [Grr], but in your opinion, who looks like whom?)

Can We Talk?, Politics

Love You – Hate Your Politics

Vodpod videos no longer available.


(This video is a few years old, but politics will never go away so …).

First of all, I’d just like to air a common pet peeve of mine – just because Republicans demand individual responsibility, do not want government making our decisions for us, like to keep our options open, embrace choices, appreciate our liberty and want to maintain our individual freedoms, does NOT mean we’re cold blooded or lack compassion. Indeed, in a lot of ways, we have MORE compassion than our polar opposites because we choose to support programs that help people get back on their feet after enduring tough times; we DO NOT support programs that ultimately guide (trick?) people toward long-term dependency on a program and/or government “assistance”. I’m referring specifically to the flippant comment in this video about how if one’s arteries have hardened then by all means, he/she MUST be a Republican. (Even though the barb was poorly disguised as a joke, the point was still sharp and a bit insulting – at least to me. And though my first instinct is to return the favor, I will refrain from doing so because it really serves no real purpose to my overall point).

That stereo typical attitude only serves to cast a wide net over very real and valid concerns and dilutes (distracts from?) the original problem or grievance. And yes, I’m talking about ALL stereo types, not just conservative stereo types – it’s petty and childish and in most cases something that is fallen back on because an individual can’t think of an intelligent, or rational, counter point in the debate. (Hence, another big reason I’m interested in writing about Rhetoric and why it’s so important we recognize, understand and apply it in our daily lives).

Moving on …

I’m lucky. Kevin and I see eye-to-eye on politics. Me and my family, on both sides of the fence, agree on politics. I really haven’t run into a situation where me and a loved one disagree on politics, though there have been tense moments about minor issues within an ideology and that’s when my rhetoric training (for lack of a better term) has kicked in and it’s been a challenge to me to first HEAR what the person is saying and then RESPOND with a logical and acceptable rebuttal.

And if that doesn’t work, agree to disagree and change the subject. πŸ˜€

I am about 95% certain that if Kevin and I hadn’t agreed on politics, our marriage would be quite different. (And that goes the same for religion, actually. In fact, I feel so strongly about couples agreeing on these two IMPORTANT issues so much that I’ve made a point of teaching the boys how crucial it is that when it comes time for them to choose a life partner, these two issues absolutely must be discussed in the early stages of the relationship. Marriage is tough enough without throwing in ideological differences). We disagree about a few minor points, but overall, we are on the same page when it comes to what we expect from our country.

Here’s another peeve of mine: religion with politics. I understand people believe differently – it’s yet another wonderful freedom our country has fought for. However, our core values, the very foundation of our constitution, is built on religion. We derive our policies and freedoms from our belief and faith in God and His son, Jesus Christ. Is it any wonder that our politics would reflect these beliefs?

Disagree if you must, but I firmly believe that America is as successful as she is BECAUSE of our closely woven ties with Christianity. And though an individual has the freedom to disagree with Christianity, it’s rather insulting to dismiss, or belittle, the impact and importance that Christianity has served in shaping the backbone of our country’s ideals, rules, and creed.

Though there very well may be aspects of our constitution that (feel) dated and need to be tweaked to reflect current times, the bulk of our constitution is timeless – they are the fundamental values of what differentiates our country from so many others. It’s not arrogance, it’s pride. It’s not insolence, it’s confidence. And though the left and I may disagree on 99% of the issues, the mere fact that we have that disagreement is WHAT MAKES AMERICA STRONG. It’s absolutely crucial that we have that checks and balances in place because no one side has the authority, or the objectivity, to completely rule our country. We need debate, we require compromise so that we can, at some point, meet somewhere in the middle, thereby making better laws and providing a more fair alternative to the majority of Americans.

Take the above video for example: It’s completely one sided – all of these ladies are liberals, so everything they say is from the left side. And they irritate me to no end because their ideals are so very different than mine and their presentation is somewhat lame (sorry ladies – I realize a lot is edited out). But I’m choosing to look past their theatrics (and attempts to be funny) and instead, focus on their primary message: dealing with loved ones who have different political views than you do.

We also need to learn to listen to each other and rationally weigh what he/she is saying before offering a rebuttal. All too often, we jump to conclusions or refuse to HEAR the message behind the theatrics – and make no mistake, there are theatrics from both sides. Often times it’s unintentional due to rising passions, but other times, it’s a deliberate ploy to distract individuals from the REAL issue and I think the danger is that too many people are unaware of this tactic.

Again, this is yet another reason why it’s SO IMPORTANT for people to learn the art of Rhetoric because if one can’t see past the red herrings, then it’s nearly impossible to discuss, and solve, the core issues.

Confused? Let me give you an example – I’ll even pick on the conservatives in the hopes that you will see my point instead of jumping on the defense wagon.

Conservative talk radio ….

WAIT! Did you just snort? Did you roll your eyes? Did you contemplate on clicking out of my blog and going elsewhere?

Then you just proved my point. You made assumptions and lumped your preconceived notions on those three little words before you even attempted to hear (read) what I had to say.

And just think, I don’t even have the dramatic music or voice inflections to further distract you from what I’m saying.

Rush Limbaugh … relies way too much on satire. A lot of people don’t get satire and take him too literally. The media also LOVES to take snippets of what Rush says, taking a piece of that satire out of context, and running full speed ahead with it. As always, one should never totally rely on what the media says (in any form) and go straight to the source – transcripts. Exactly what DID Rush mean when he said that. Nine times out of ten, it makes sense and means NOTHING what the lame stream media tried to portray it as meaning. Lesson: don’t take things out of context. I like listening to Rush because he’s been in politics for years – he has the experience and the knowledge to accurately peg people and events.

Glenn Beck … is annoyingly doom and gloom. His tired “end of the world is coming if we don’t do something soon” spiel really gets old. He’s also way too dramatic for my taste. However, looking past his trademark shtick, he does have a point – our government is really veering WAY off the constitution mark – it’s like they’re making the rules up as they go along. He tries to illustrate this point to people by scaring them and it just comes off as paranoid, in my opinion. Lesson: don’t allow either your fears, or what others fear, to sway your reasoning. Calm down, think it through.

Sean Hannity … is probably my favorite of the talk show hosts. (Plus, he’s hot. But I SWEAR that’s not the reason I listen to him. Well, okay, maybe one of the reasons I listen to him). In my opinion, Hannity is the most professional out of the talk show hosts. He gives people a chance to offer their two cents and then responds with his thoughts, often times citing sources to back his opinions. He rarely interrupts and he always (sincerely) thanks the people who come on his show. He’s also committed to educating the world about Obama and his radical agenda (all proceeds from his book go to a charity) and he’s quick to pick up, and elaborate on, what the lame stream media leave out. My only complaint with Hannity is that he repeats himself, show after show, after show, after show … it’s really quite annoying. He also has a habit of driving his point home SO much that the listener has a tendency to tune him out sometimes, I think. (“Okay Sean, I see your point. I got it about fifteen examples ago.”) Lesson: If you have an opinion and you feel confident in expressing it,you better have the proof to back it up or risk looking like a fool.

Mark Levin … is obnoxious, in his attitude toward those that disagree with him and his voice. I know he can’t help his voice, but wow, that voice. I get extremely impatient with his rudeness with people. He has no qualms calling people idiots and insulting their intelligence. He also likes to cut people off and I would even venture to say, his hearing is a bit selective (not allowing people to make their points before cutting them off. However, to be fair, some people never GET to their points so …). I respect Levin though. He has an in-depth knowledge of the constitution and law and I learn so much listening to him talk about the constitutionality of various issues. I’ve never been an Obama fan, but after listening to how he’s shredding our constitution and decimating America’s core values, I now loathe the man. Lesson: Respect the process and the information, not the presentation.

Michael Savage … is a thug. But I think that’s his shtick. He talks tough (and I’m sure he is tough) and doesn’t care what people think. He’s touted for being a big freedom of speech proponent and I like to listen to him because he does get passionate about our freedom of speech rights. There’s a disclaimer at the beginning of Savage’s show about it being for mature audiences only and it’s true, he gets pretty rough with the issues and people sometimes, but it’s refreshing to hear him refuse to play the politically correct game. I don’t listen to Savage very often simply because he’s on past my bedtime, because I’m old and I need sleep. *grin* Lesson: Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you believe in.

There are more, but these are the guys I listen to from time-to-time. They all have their own styles, they all have important things to say, it’s just getting past their personalities and idiosyncrasies so that we can get to the message that’s the challenge sometimes.

*sigh* Sorry. I got off topic, as usual. But this is something I feel passionate about and I tend to drone on and on and on and on ……. about it.

It’s time to step off my soapbox. I hope this article has gotten you thinking and at the very least, didn’t annoy you too much. πŸ˜€

Life-condensed

Oil Spill Has Reached Florida

This. Just. Breaks. My. Heart.

(And may I just say – please don’t allow your children to play in oily tar balls. That stuff has GOT to be toxic. Seriously. What is WRONG with people??)

Even though I’m not excusing BP’s part in this horrific incident (and they SHOULD pay and reimburse people for lost wages and to clean up this mess), I honestly don’t see how ANYONE can make excuses for a president that REFUSES to help get this mess cleaned up.

No. Obama didn’t cause this disaster. No. I don’t expect him to personally get down there and suck it up with a straw clean it up (though that might help his public image, which has been sorely damaged by all of this crap – on top of every other disaster generated by this president), but I DO expect him to use his executive authority to authorize every possible alternative and utilize every single offer that comes our way to help get this crap cleaned up. I DO expect him to put aside his political agenda, for one DAMN minute, and give his FULL attention to one of the worst man-made disasters this country has ever seen.

OH. MY. LORD – 2012 can NOT get here soon enough. And hell yes, I’m pissed. Obama, dude, STOP with the “hope and change” man, you’re CHOKING the life out of this country!

At the Moment

At the Moment …

I drove Kevin out to band practice last night. It was at the drummer’s house and his house is out in the boonies. We live on the south side of town, the drummer lives in a city on the outskirts of the NORTH side of town.

Which is fine, but that meant that I needed to find something to do while they played (because they practiced out in a garage with nothing but an industrial-sized fan blowing on them and I hadn’t brought any bug spray (mosquitoes LOVE to munch on me) and plus, I just didn’t feel comfortable sticking around and encroaching on his “man” time so …

I drove to a library and read while he practiced.

I grew up on the north side of town so driving through that area once again was a bitter sweet experience. I hadn’t been on that side of town in months (a year?) and I was quite shocked to see how everything had changed.

I hardly recognized it any more.

It was so NICE to just sit back and read – no obligations, no appointments, no interruptions … just me, a cool, quiet room and my book. It was heaven. I used to do that a lot when I was younger, in fact, I used to spend entire days just reading.

Though I only had a few hours, it was really nice to escape reality and just slip away somewhere.

Not that I wish to escape my reality, but I’m sure, if you’re a reader, you know what I mean.

When it was time to leave to pick Kevin up, I had to drive through a bunch of construction to get back onto the highway.

This dump truck got ahead of me and I couldn’t see where I was going – I ended up IN the construction area. A pickup truck, (someone with the city) got behind me and started honking his horn, he was trying to warn me that I was in the wrong lane.

Duh. I knew that! I just couldn’t get back into the right lane because there was so much traffic. I was more annoyed than scared – annoyed with myself, not with the guy on my tail honking his fool head off. He finally got even with me (he was driving on the shoulder) and I looked at him and mouthed … I KNOW, to let him know I knew what was going on and I was working on it.

I felt like I was in a scene from a comedy show, or something; it was surreal.

I was finally able to pull back into traffic and after several miles, I finally got my heart rate back down.

What a fool thing to do. I was never really in any danger but I was pretty embarrassed by my idiocy. I’m blaming the dump truck – if he hadn’t gotten ahead of me and pulled into the construction lane then I wouldn’t have either. (No. I don’t really blame the dump truck, that stupid stunt was all me).

I finally made it back to the drummer’s house. I pulled up in time to listen to the last few songs and I have to say, Kevin sounded pretty damn good for a guy in a wheelchair. πŸ™‚ No seriously, I’m not just being biased (okay, maybe a little), but he really sounded good.

And the smile of pure delight on his face totally made the entire trip out there and nearly slamming my car into a construction zone worth it.

I think the entire jam session was like balm on his soul and I’m ONCE AGAIN, so very thankful to our wonderful Lord and Savior for protecting him that day and helping us reach this point.

He has a gig set up for the end of August – it’ll be interesting to see if he’s still in his chair when that time comes.

*****

I’m taking Kevin up to the mall today. He’s itching to practice walking and the mall will give us some space for him to do so. He’s getting more confident with each step he takes.

His knee is no longer bothering him. He tightened up his knee brace and now, he says it doesn’t hurt at all when he walks.

He did really well in rehab yesterday. His range of motion is improving by leaps and bounds and I think staying off his knee and sticking to his wheelchair for a few days really helped him gain the strength he needed to push him over the hump.

I feel like he’s over that hump now.

His progress and growing strength is making him more and more confident and I just can’t tell you how nice it is to see glimpses of the old Kevin emerging from this accident-induced nightmare.

*****

I’ve been reading my New York City guide and planning routes on HopStop.com. We only have about 2 1/2 days in New York, so we are really going to have to be selective on what we do while there. I’m a bit nervous about getting Kevin around in his wheelchair so I’d like to be as prepared as I can possibly be, given the circumstances.

We aren’t using the sliding board to transfer him from his wheelchair to other surfaces anymore. He’s able to stand, turn and make the transfers himself, so I won’t have to worry about taking that with us. I had entertained the thought of possibly NOT taking the wheelchair and only the walker, but unfortunately, he’s just not ready for that yet. Though he’s walking more and more and in fact, will likely be able to endure walking longer distances by the time we leave, New York is ALL ABOUT THE WALKING and I really don’t think he’ll be able to take that much walking so soon.

So, the wheelchair it is.

We’re planning on hanging out at Central Park (I checked the maps on Google, our hotel is two blocks to the south of Central Park, so we should be able to easily walk there) and there is a pretty major Nintendo store in Rockefeller Center the boys would love to go see.

I want to ride the Staten Island ferry so we can ride by the Statue of Liberty (we don’t plan on actually going IN) and though I would like to ride up to the observation deck in the Empire State Building, Dude has made it pretty clear that he’s not going up. (He’s afraid of heights).

And that’s all we have planned at this point. We’ll likely just do a lot of walking and exploring while we’re there and keep the concrete plans to a minimum. It really depends on how Kevin feels and how easy it is to get him around the city.