Month: May 2010

Thank goodness for insurance. Seriously. It’s a pain in the butt to pay and deal with, but when you have to use it, it’s a God send.

Luckily, Kevin had the foresight to set up really excellent insurance – both auto and health.

So, all of his home care equipment is covered by our insurance. His hospital bed, the trapeze above his bed (which he uses all the time to help him sit up and get out of bed), his bedside commode (though we’re working on weaning him from using that and getting him into a regular bathroom – which we successfully did yesterday and today!), his shower chair, (which we won’t attempt to use until his fractures heal and he’s not wearing any braces – I’m giving him sponge baths right now), and his wheelchair.

This is Kevin’s wheelchair:

Because of the surgery on his posterior (or butt, in layman’s terms), he requires a cushion. Though this cushion is not very soft (it consists of multiple rubber tubes that you have to air up), it provides him with stability and helps soften his injury. (Poor guy is constantly shifting his weight off his left butt cheek to try and provide himself with relief from the pressure).

He also has that sliding board you see in the picture. We use this to help him transfer from the bed to his chair, or from his chair to the toilet. You wouldn’t think a piece of wood be so valuable but his transfers would be more difficult, or in the case of getting to the toilet, impossible, without it.

Though we’re not paying for any of this stuff (well, technically we HAVE paid for it in premiums over the years), I still keep track of the cost of everything. And as you can imagine, everything is over priced. And I guess home support companies feel they CAN over charge because, after all, insurance companies are paying for it – the money isn’t coming directly from patients.

Hence ONE BIG PROBLEM with our health care system.

For example, I about had a coronary when I saw the rental invoice for that cushion you see in the picture. *Can you guess how much this sucker cost? Use your wildest imagination – I bet you still won’t be close. I’ll give you a hint – it’s WAY over priced, in my opinion.

Even though I loathe our current president and everything he stands for, even though I couldn’t DISAGREE more with our current health reform law, I won’t argue that something needs to be done about health care costs. I’ve seen, firsthand these past few weeks, just how expensive everything is. And it doesn’t have to be that expensive, but since insurance companies are the ones paying, the health care industry takes advantage of that and hikes the cost. I mean, why not? If companies (people) will pay the price, then why wouldn’t companies jack the cost? (Think how expensive cars are – if people refused to pay those prices and stuck to used cars, the price of new cars would come down – it’s simply supply and demand).

It truly is insane.

But here’s the deal, when you HAVE to have this stuff, when you HAVE to rely on the health care system to take care of your loved one, you don’t have a choice. You’re thrown into the system and you have to hope everything is taken care of for you.

When tragedy strikes, the cost is really the LAST thing on your mind. Health care debates are no where near the top of your priority list. You just want the doctors to work their magic and take care of your loved one.

And people, they DID. They really, really did. Every person, doctor, nurse, PDA, tech, they were all fantastic, both here at home and at MU in Columbia. They all took superior care of Kevin. (Well, it helped that Kevin had a great attitude, cracked jokes and made them laugh, too. As he says, “What’s done is done. Being bitter won’t help things.”)

And America really DOES have a top-notch health care system – it just needs (a lot of) work.

I think it’s a bit ironic that I was SOOOO into the health care debacle, voiced my concerns loud and clear and here we are, in the midst of it. But here’s the thing, I STILL feel the same way. I’m STILL passionate about an industry that proves crucial when something tragic occurs. And I will continue to loudly protest what the government is trying to do to it.

It’s just NOW, I have a better understanding of the issues and feel like any opinions I offer henceforth will be a little more informed and passionate because NOW I have a bird’s eye view of how it all works.

*Read the first comment – I reveal how much the cushion cost.

… I married the love of my life.

Twenty years ago, at 6:00 p.m. central standard time at a little church in Nixa, Missouri, Kevin and I got married. Even though we were not members of the church, we picked the church because a coworker of mine suggested it; I found it attractive, easily accessible and fell in love with the lovely stained-glass windows behind the pulpit.

We had a very modest, but beautiful wedding. Even if we could have afforded a big fancy wedding, neither one of us wasn’t interested in having a big fancy wedding.

Getting there wasn’t that important to us, being man and wife was all we cared about.

I can honestly say, I have married the ONLY man on planet Earth who could have possibly put up with me for any length of time. (Contrary to popular belief, I’m not the easiest person to get along with. *cough*) Kevin knows when to be quiet and let me vent, he knows when to inject humor to diffuse my temper. He knows when to be strong for me and when to step back and allow me to handle things.

He is, quite simply, my soul mate.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

Our life has never been a fairy tale. We’ve had our fair shares of ups and downs. There was a time period, around our seventh year of marriage, that I was quite convinced we would not make it. In fact, I went so far as to actually shop around for divorce attorneys, but somehow, we had the maturity and the presence of mind to pawn the kids off on family one night and air our grievances. We were honest with one another, brutally honest with one another, and we said what was on our minds.

And we both tried very hard to take everything said to heart and to change our behaviors and work at improving our relationship.

It’s true, you know. Surviving hard times really DOES make your marriage stronger.

We’re pretty strong right now. And I don’t see our bond weakening any time soon.

We’ve gotten comfortable with each other. We’ve taken advantage of each other. We’ve settled. And though there have been times when our relationship has been “comfortable” (okay fine, boring), it’s been a comfortable peace.

We’ve started a new chapter in our married life: Kevin is now in a wheelchair. It’s not permanent, he will walk again at some point (we’re thinking around August), but it’s been a HUGE adjustment for us both. Not just physically, but emotionally. Now, suddenly, our roles have been reversed. Kevin has always been my provider, the person who has taken care of me, now it’s the other way around. He completely relies on me for everything. From getting him out of bed, to making sure he has something to eat, to helping him with his personal hygiene.

And I honest-to-God don’t mind. In fact, I’m grateful – I’m grateful he’s alive and breathing because due to the nature of his accident, he probably shouldn’t be here with us today.

But he is.

And it’s because God was watching out for him that day.

I had no idea it was even possible to love another human being more than I do my husband. He’s so much a part of me now, I can’t imagine my life without him and I thank God that I don’t have to.

This accident may be a speed bump in our marital journey, but we refuse to allow it to slow us down. We will continue to live, we will find our new normal, we will heal and we will persevere.

How? Because we have God watching our backs …

… and we have each other.