I wouldn’t exactly call myself a quote – religious – unquote person, but YES, I believe in God. YES, I put my faith in God, and YES I (hope) live a Godly life. Though we don’t go to church, (we have Bible study in our home), we are followers of Christ and put all of our energies into studying God’s wonderful, matchless Word.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that right after Kevin’s accident, I didn’t feel just a wee bit disappointed with God.
Let me see if I can explain …
I personally don’t believe that God causes bad things to happen. You will never hear me blame God for something bad that has happened in my life.
After all, God does not have control over our planet Earth, Satan does. (God gave the world to Adam and Eve as a gift, Adam and Eve then handed it over to Satan).
I know. Heavy stuff, right? But when we point the finger at the correct culprit (Satan, and NOT God), doesn’t it all sort of seem to make sense?
1 John 1:5
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
I don’t know about you, but getting hit head on by a woman while riding a motorcycle and being left for dead is pretty dark, don’t you think? I’m not sure how anyone can possibly justify it was God’s will that it happen.
But I’m not here to argue theology with you. This is simply what I believe. I understand why people blame God when something bad happens, it offers them comfort – it gives them a reason for whatever tragedy they endured.
It helps them makes sense out of something senseless.
So no. I didn’t, and don’t, blame God for what happened to Kevin. We all have spiritual wars raging around us – we are surrounded by evil spirits and Satan’s dominions and when our believing wavers, when we let our guards down, the devil takes advantage of that time to strike.
What do you think the odds are of someone being hit head on, going thirty to forty miles per hour, on a motorcycle, of surviving? And what are the odds of them not only surviving, but having a very positive prognosis that he will walk again?
What are the odds that the person who was hit would never lose consciousness, that he would remember everything (even the make and model of the car that hit him), would be able to move his arms and legs after impact and would ONLY have one area on his body that was (severely) broken?
What are the odds of that man NOT having any life-altering brain, neck, or back injuries?
I’m not a statistician, but I’d wager they’re pretty high.
Was it luck? Was it good fortune?
I don’t believe it was. I believe it was God watching out for one of the most important men in my life. I believe God shielded my husband from the worst case scenario. And even though we allowed Satan to slip through our defenses at some point in our lives, God protected us from Satan’s full frontal attack.
I was disappointed in God because I had firmly believed that though I knew the risks Kevin was taking by riding his motorcycle, it never crossed my mind, I never even toyed with the notion, that he would somehow get hurt. I put ALL OF MY TRUST IN GOD. And though that certainly helped, it wasn’t enough. Kevin had harbored doubts. Though he hadn’t exactly been fearful of what might happen to him on the road, he did think about the “what ifs” from time to time.
And that one tiny doubt, that one tiny fear, might have been just enough of a crack that Satan needed to slip through and cause trouble.
That’s why prayer is crucial in a Christian’s life. It’s the shield Christians need and use to protect them from Satan’s tricks.
Which to me, makes so much more sense than the belief that it was somehow God’s will that the bad thing happened. If that’s the case, then why bother praying at all? If God is going to make it happen anyway, then wouldn’t praying about it be a waste of time? But then why does the Bible urge us to faithfully pray and pray often?
See the contradiction? It simply doesn’t make sense.
At any rate, I didn’t allow myself to stay disappointed in God for very long because it wasn’t God’s fault that this happened to begin with. And without God’s protection, Kevin may not be here with me right now.
I would be alone.
My boys wouldn’t have their father.
Why am I telling you this? Because I’m PROUD of my God. Because I’m GRATEFUL to my God. Because I BELIEVE that God is good and doesn’t deserve all of the bad rap He receives from both individuals and our country. I’m telling you this because if my story, our personal tragedy, can touch even one person, will give just one person the opportunity to re-evaluate his/her choices and decide that putting all of one’s faith in a loving, wonderful, and powerful God is better than doing nothing at all, then I will have served my purpose.
I OWE God my life. I OWE God the good fortunes in my life. I OWE God for protecting my husband during a critical time in his life. And I will find a way to repay Him, whether that’s sharing my faith and my story here with you, or finding some way to help people on a more personal level; I will gladly do it.
If you’re dealing with turmoil right now, if you seek peace in a chaotic life, then why not give God a chance to help you?
What is it going to hurt?
Thanks for reading. 🙂