Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction: According to Me


Fiction under 250 words.


“So, let’s recap,” Felicia said while absently rubbing condensation off her beer can. “According to YOU: I’m stupid. I’m useless. I can’t do anything right.”

Her ex-boyfriend smirked. He sat back in the booth and crossed his arms with satisfaction. His expression was smug. Felicia was a bit surprised at the surge of anger that pulsed through her body upon seeing the familiar expression.

“According to HIM: I’m beautiful. I’m funny. I’m irresistible,” she continued.

Paul snorted with amusement, but Felicia resolutely kept her eyes trained on the smiling waitress serving appetizers at the table next to them.

“But according to YOU: I’m boring. I’m moody, and I suck at telling jokes.”

“You are and you do,” Paul mumbled, dipping stubby fingers into the peanut pail and plucking out a fat nut.

“According to HIM: I’m easy to please. I’m charming, and I cook great dinners,” Felicia’s dark hazel eyes shifted back to Paul.

Paul blinked in surprise. “The man’s taste buds are obviously dead.”

“You know what?” she said as she pushed her nearly full beer can toward the center of the table. “I think I like HIS version of me better.”

“Well, you’re delusional, what can I say.”

Felicia bit on her lip to quell the sudden trembling. She would not cry in front of him, she wouldn’t.

“Seriously? Tears? Again?” he smirked. “Why did you call me, Felicia?”

She stared at him before suddenly moving forward and dumping the beer can into his lap. “Closure. Goodbye Paul.”

This bit o’ fiction was inspired by this song: