Coffee Chat: December 2009






Thank you to everyone who visited and played!! I really enjoyed reading your answers! We’ll do this again in March!

(Lily and Chelsey, if you read this before I’ve contacted you, please email me!)

Coffee Chat is ALL about YOU! Here’s what you do: Answer the daily question. That’s it! (Beware! The questions get more challenging as the days go by!)

1. Each answer you leave in the comment section counts as one ticket. (One comment per day, please).

2. Subscribe to my feed, receive another ticket. (Please leave separate comment if subscribed).

3. Follow me on Twitter, receive another ticket. (Please leave separate comment if following).

On December 11th, at 4:00 p.m. CST, I’ll draw two winners – first place winner gets to choose a $25.00 gift certificate to an online retailer of his/her choice (see this page for store listings) AND, the second place winner will receive a $10.00 Starbucks gift card (U.S. residents only for the Starbucks gift card, please).

Confused? Contact Karen.

Ready for the questions?

Question #1: Do you prefer being around men or women? Do your closest friends tend to be men or women?

Question #2: Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage in it head on? Why?

Question #3: What’s your dream job?

Question #4: What was your first job? How much did you get paid?

Question #5: If could switch job responsibilities with your boss (or your last boss, if unemployed), would you do it? Why or why not?

Questions #6: Which is the greater tragedy: an innocent person imprisoned or a guilty person set free? Explain.

Question #7: How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

LAST Question: What makes you stand to your feet and cheer?

My answer: I’d have to say people who overcome obstacles, or injustices, and persevere against all odds. I’m the sort of person who cheers for the underdog because not only do I feel sorry for them, but I admire the strength and determination required to come back from behind and win, or conquer, the situation. It’s not easy, and I think that alone requires a standing ovation.

More from Write From Karen

209 thoughts on “Coffee Chat: December 2009”

  1. The thing that makes me stand up and cheer is when I see someone go out of their way to help someone else in need.

  2. People who are kind and compassionate even when it’s unpopular make me stand to my feet and cheer.

  3. When people are successful on the Biggest loser I jump up and down and cheer for them, when the underdog wins in a football game I also get really excited, stand and cheer.

  4. A great performance, the men and women who bravely serve our country, a moving speech…..I am sure there are more but this is all that is coming to me now.

  5. Like you i cheer for the underdog. I love to see good things happen to people who are disadvantaged.

  6. People who risk their friendships, reputations, and even lives to stand up for what’s right make me stand up and cheer πŸ™‚

  7. Well it isn’t hard for me to forgive someone who refuses to apologize as I do it all the time, move forward and dont let anyone get inside your head


  8. Q:7
    I’m actually the one who seems to apologize first.(Even when it wasn’t my fault!) My parents always taught me forgiveness when i was young, i’m actually thankful for that way of processing. But there have been SO many times that it’s hard to ‘forgive and forget’ yet i still want things to be normal again and Fun, so i let things go and move on!

    no sense in holding a grudge.

  9. It would depend on a couple of things. What they did that required an apology and if they had done this in the past. Sometimes people don’t apologize because they are embarrased to admit they did something — if it was something minor and the person hadn’t done this to me in the past, I would forgive them. Otherwise, it would depend on the particular person/situation.

  10. It depends on what they did wrong. If it’s something minor then no problem but if it’s something major, well it takes me a very long time. Thanks for the contest!

  11. That’s a hard question! I don’t know that I can really forgive someone if they don’t apologize, but I can go on and still interact with them pleasantly. Over time I just tend to forget about it. Not worth carrying all the baggage around. Thanks.

  12. I can carry a grudge for a long time. It has to be a really sincere apology for me to even begin to forgive a person or a business that I believe wronged me.

  13. I find it hard to forgive someone who won’t apologize. But I usually find that it is less stressful to just forgive them and to stop stewing about it.

  14. Apologies matter if they are sincere, but so many times they are not. I suppose it matters how much I care about the person apologizing. For the most part, however, I rarely hold a grudge. And even in the rare cases I do, I have forgiven the person; I just do not allow myself to be put in a position where they can wrong me again.

  15. Question #7: How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?
    It is extremely difficult for me. I also have issues forgiving people, and it makes it next to impossible if they wont apologize. It would probably take me weeks lol!

  16. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

    I find it easier now that I realize that there is so much God forgives me for that I don’t even think of asking forgiveness for, I must show the same mercy to others even if it hurts at times.

  17. It’s hard for me to forgive someone who won’t apologize. If they can’t acknowledge that they have wronged you, then how can you forgive? I know we are supposed to, even if it is for our own peace of mind, but you can’t forget.

  18. It is very difficult for me to forgive those that won’t apologize. It is lack of respect and lack of responsibility and that bothers me

  19. The older I get, the less patience I have with idiots. That being said, I honestly do try to forgive everyone, but don’t always succeed!

  20. It’s difficult, but I don’t put myself in a position they can hurt me again if at all possible. I know that’s how they are and I can’t change them.

  21. It’s really really difficult for me, it’s something that I’d like to change about myself. I’m working on it but it’s still hard!

  22. 7. I really think it depends on the situation and I think that it depends on who they are and what the aren’t apologizing for. If it is a close family member I am more apt to let it go as I don’t want to start a family fight but if it is a friend or co-worker I may stick to my guns and hold a grudge.

  23. This has happened to me. I decided to let it go for myself. Holding a grudge is self destructive.

  24. It can be difficult to forgive someone who has not apologized!! It is kinda hard, but being a Christian, you kinda have to bite the bullet, and forgive..over and over! I have been practicing this for years! πŸ™‚

  25. Forgiving a lack of apology… For me, it depends on what the offense was and who it was. My socially ackward son, who just doesn’t usually get when he’s said something hurtful or inappropriate? Pretty easy after we talk about it and I have a few minutes to process.

    My teenager who knows what is appropriate and what isn’t but is in a catty mood and feels like being mean or just doesn’t care? It takes a bit longer. And you just can’t discuss or tell a teen ANYTHING! Oh, the drama!

    My best friend who says I’m fat? Harder, but a few days would probably be long enough to allow me to get over it and move forward.

    My in-laws? Very, very difficult. I’m in this situation right now. Something rather big happened two years ago, pretty heinous accusations actually, and they didn’t talk to me until recently. Now, they act as if everything is fine, we’ve been best friends all along and nothing ever happened. I distrust this sudden change.

  26. If someone refuses to apologize I can’t forgive them for what they did. I can ignore the problem and “let it go” for the time being and somewhat move on. However, if they never apologize I would have a hard time not holding it against them in future situations. Shoot, even if they do apologize eventually, I might not forgive them, depending on how long it took them to say it. I guess I am a pretty bad person in that respect.

  27. It’s hard if someone refuses to appologize, but not impossible. I like to have the weight of being angry lifted so I can just live my life.

  28. If someone will not take responsibility for their actions then it is very hard to forgive them. I just chalk it up to a learning experience.

  29. I don’t forgive someone who doesn’t apologize. I don’t feel bad about it either–(I’m a Scorpio). If they do apologize though, I usually forgive them.

  30. I easily forgive things that are done wrong. But, I tend not to trust the person with things in the future. It takes the stress off me.

  31. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

    It’s a whole different story for family, but I’d have a hard time trusting a person who can’t apologize.

    The issue, for me is “being heard” -ya know what I mean?

    If this person was a friend, I’d see our friendship diminishing. If this person was a co-worker, I wouldn’t want to be on a project with them. I would remain courteous, but curt.

    Life is too short to have to deal with these types of folks and I’m too busy to be drawn into their “reality”

  32. I find it difficult to forgive a person who refuses to apologize. My neighbor has been nasty to us since we moved in. (She doesn’t like children and we have 4!) She has written us nasty letters anonymously, called the city with phony complaints, and bent over backward to be hateful. We confronted her and she refuses to admit she did anything wrong. Although I know I should forgive her, I find it extremely hard to turn the other cheek. I want to be the bigger person in this case, but I just can’t. She is going out of her way to make us miserable.


  34. Although both of them are bad, I would say an innocent person imprisoned is worse. Can you imagine being found guilty of something you didn’t do, sent to prison, away from family and friends, having no more freedom? It is frightening.

  35. As much as I loathe, loathe, loathe HATE the idea of guilty people going free, I still have to say that it is worse that an innocent person be imprisoned.

  36. I’d have to say “an innocent person imprisoned.” Every time I read stories of people who have been wrongly imprisoned for decades set free I think about how impossible it is to give them back the years society took from them.

  37. This is easily the hardest question you’ve asked! Both of these situations really bother me but I think an innocent person imprisoned is worse because that is something good that just goes South really quick. Like someone mentioned earlier, an innocent person will whittle away their life and wish and pray for appeals or evidence to come through and IF it does…it usually takes way way way too long and their life has passed them by It does suck when guilty wrongdoers are let go, but there is always a chance of rehabilitation, which I know is kind of a small chance and always a chance and not a promise, but the innocent deserve to be free.


  38. An innocent person imprisoned because their life will pass them by while they appeal to get out. Our judicial system could definitely use some improvement because this seems to happen more and more everyday. There has got to be a better way to identify the wrongdoers.

  39. An innocent person imprisoned. It’s not justice, and it’s unfair not only to that person but also makes their family suffer.

  40. I think nothing is worse than an innocent person imprisoned. A guilty person still has to live with his guilt.

  41. I’m going to say a guilty person walks free because they may commit some other crime especially if they are a career criminal

  42. I think the greater tragedy is an innocent person imprisoned. Others have mde good points as to why, but I just can’t imaginge the horror of being in prison for something you didn’t do and no hope of being released. Nightmar-ish!!!

  43. The greater tragedy is an innocent person imprisoned. It is unimaginable the level of grief a innocent person and their family must feel in that situation.

  44. No question. An innocent person imprisoned is faaaar more terrible. The idea of them being behind bars enrages me so much more than the guilty going free.

  45. Our system is built around the idea that false conviction is worse than guilty persons retaining freedom.

  46. There is no way I would switch jobs with my boss. My job is stressful and hers is stress multiplied by 8.

  47. I would not want to switch places with my last boss. Don’t need extra stress or want more responsibility or more higher-ups to answer to. Just want to do my job w/o hassles.

  48. Sure, he had just an easy of job as the rest of us (photography editor for college newspaper.) Just had to pick which pictures would be printed each day and occasionally took some himself. We had to develop our photos and then photoshop them and submit them. Basically the same job except he had final say over the photographers.

  49. Um, no! I dont deal with conflict very well and that’s what bosses do. I am not a good on my feet thinker

  50. I would never switch job responsibilities with my boss. The pay would be cool, but the stress would suck


  51. I answered Question 5 but I dont see it posted here. Please delete if this is a duplicate! Thx.

    I would switch with my former boss because the pay is higher and she used to divide up the daily responsibilities amongst everyone else!

  52. A day behind again!

    Answer to today’s question:

    I essentially did switch with my last boss. I went up the corporate ladder and became a dispatcher. I LOVED IT! However, she was promoted and became the terminal manager. I would NOT have wanted that job. Too many bureaucratic bits and too many non-essential people to keep happy. By non-essential I mean the support team of sales and accounting and rates and management and what not, not the actual dock workers or drivers or office staff that take the calls.

    Just to answer yesterday’s question:

    My first job. I cleaned stalls under the table at a horse training and showing facility. I got paid $4 an hour and worked 3 hours a day on Saturday and Sunday. It was enough to help support my own horse. And I loved that job!

  53. I would have loved to switch responsibilities with my last boss. He was truly unorganized and did not like any input on what would be done to better the place. I know that I could’ve done a much better job. The place has since closed.


  55. No way! I would not want my boss’s job and responsibility. I understand she gets a lot more money, and for good reason. Just the thought of the pressure she was under all the time, I know I couldn’t do it, at least not yet. I have lots of growing and learning left to do before I could take on a position like that. =)

  56. I do not think I would have switched places with my boss. He was a veterinarian in a one doctor clinic and he worked very long hours with little recognition.

  57. My first job I worked at the local bowling alley. I was 14 yrs old. I got paid minimum wage which was $4.25 at the time..

  58. I was in college in Nashville, and a record company needed something done quickly so they hired college students for one evening. Pay was decent, I think it was $7 an hour. I spent hours putting a new thing I had never seen before into cards to be sent out as promotional items. That new thing I’d never seen before? A cd.

  59. My very first job was at a greenhouse and I was a greenhouse outdoor worker. I grew, maintained and planted plants. Treated them, budded them, deadheaded them…it was intense, especially in the summer. I loved it, though. It was a whopping $5.15/hour and that was in 1996.


  60. I delivered newspapers, but I can’t remember how much I was paid.. not much. And, lots of people would hide when I could come to collect the subscription money. Jerks.

  61. I was in high school when I had my first job as a dance instructor. I was paid minimum wage, but I don’t remember the rate.

  62. My first job (other than babysitting) was at a coffee shop that my parents opened. I started out a little over minimum wage, which I believe was at around $5 at the time. I loved that job!

  63. My first job was as a brand new RN, making the huge sum of $260/month. This was MANY years ago and the pay was actually considered reasonably good then!

  64. I’m still currently working at my first official job, playing the piano for a local church on Sunday morning. I really enjoy it. It can be fun, and I would be going to church anyway.

  65. My first job was as a receptionist at a day sap. I also did spray tans for a few of the spa’s clients. I honestly don’t recall what I made but it was probably around $10/hr. I enjoyed my time at that job, the people were really nice, but I was not really the day spa type.

  66. First REAL JOB (not babysitting) was at a drycleaners for minimum wage – $3.35/hr back then.


  68. My dream job was always being a teacher. Unfortunately, I was unable to attain that dream, although I have been able to substitute teach.

  69. I’d love to either be a music journalist, patrolling the newest and best underground indie rock for Rolling Stone, a DJ for the same kind of music genre, or a published YA author. Those are all dream jobs for me!

  70. I have a hard time narrowing down my dream jobs! I think I would choose film historian. I’d like to be Robert Osborne on TCM!

  71. Right now almost any job would qualify since I am unemployed . . . the dream would involve doing some research via internet or other records, helping people or animals, utilizing my Spanish skills, and having the perfect boss/mentor.

  72. I think I have my dream job. I work from home. My job is computer based so I don’t go into the office unless I have a meeting to attend. I really love my job. GLTA!

  73. Missed yesterday’s… Darn!

    My dream job would be author and dog trainer. Not dog trainer like I did before (in-home basic obedience), but with my own training facility here on our property. Some day…

    In the mean time, I’m doing what I want to do! I’m running our small hobby farm!


    PS I’m more likely to engage conflict head on. Maybe I’m just stubborn and hard headed? I feel dealing with it keeps it from sneaking up on me later on.

  74. does not working count? haha… well, if not, then I’d love to keep teaching university students.

  75. My dream job would be in a library where I could see all the new books that come out and have a chance to do research for people.

  76. My dream job would be to own an antique store. I just love thinking about all the people that have owned things and where they have been, and I also love older things. Thanks.

  77. My dream job is to work as a casting director for movies or television shows. Every time I sit down to watch a movie, or I hear of a new movie being produced, I think about who I would have chosen for the roles. I think I could be pretty good at this as a job.

  78. My dream job is to be a belly dancer, i think it is such an amazingly beautiful form of dance.

  79. My dream job is what I’m doing right now! I’m a consultant for a particular software package and work from home (love high speed connections to clients)! The only thing I’d change is to have just a bit more work, but I still love it!

  80. My Dream job would be to be a social worker at a retirement community. Part of the dream would also be that it’s aprt time so I could pick my children up from school at the end of the day.


  81. I usually avoid conflict except with my husband. I will usually stand my ground with him and that sometimes leads to conflict.

  82. If something isn’t a big deal, I will avoid conflict for the sake of keeping the peace and preserving my own sanity. Reach my breaking point, however, and you need to watch out. πŸ˜‰

  83. I tend to engage on it heads on. Just this week I had a situation on ebay where I offered free shipping and was told I ripped the man off on shipping. (How could I when I didn’t charge him anything?) Well, he made all kids of threats to me, but I stood my ground saying I couldn’t make a refund on free!

  84. I am (sadly) all about drama and conflict, I can not help myself. When it comes to family conflict I take it head on and I can be very passionate in my fight for what I believe in. However, outside the house I think I will try hard not to confront so much, I try to let things go more, since I usually won’t have to see those people for long.

  85. I’m the same; it really depends on what the conflict is over. If it’s something petty or non-sensical then I’ll just let it sizzle and fade. But, I am a very passionate person and if it’s something I feel strongly about there’s no way I can keep my mouth shut and I have to speak up.

  86. If it’s conflict with someone I don’t know very well, I’ll just stay out of it. However, if it’s conflict with someone close to me, like my parents (I’m a teen), then I definitely engage, especially if they pull out the “I don’t need a reason, I’M the adult” card. That makes me mad, even though it usually ends up being for my good.

  87. It depends on the conflict. I try to find solutions to problems verses shoving them under the rug per say because all that does is make things worse in the long run. I do know that it’s difficult to deal with conflict with people that tend to act in that way. I grew up in a family that tucked conflict away and never helped our relationships any so I try really hard not to be that way.

  88. I engage. I wish that I tried to avoid conflict, but I am antagonistic by nature, and I’ll pick a fight or take someone’s bait just because I am bored. I am trying to work on it for my children’s benefit.


  90. I avoid conflict whenever possible–it stresses me out! I tend to run and hide if it looks like things will get messy. That said, if I am wronged, there will be conflict raining down upon those who wronged me!

  91. I would rather avoid it, but I find that hard to do. If I’m mad, I pretty much can’t hide it!

  92. I am more likely to avoid conflict, even if it means masking my own opinion. I just wish everyone could get along!

  93. I prefer hanging out with women because we share the same interests. My best friends are women

  94. When I was younger I would have said men. I had many male friends. Now, however, I say women. The women in my life make me laugh. I don’t know what I would do without them.

  95. Generally, I prefer women, especially Moms. Sharing stories and getting ideas is so helpful.

  96. I prefer to spend time with other woman since I have been married for over 12 yrs I find it innappropriate for me to have male friendships. My husband is all the man I need πŸ™‚ and plus I need someone who talks as much as I do.. hee hee

  97. Always men. I seem to get along better with men. My best friend is a guy I have known for 29 years. I can talk to him about anything, I don’t have a girlfriend I feel comfortable doing that with.

  98. Lately, I’ve made many female friends at college in my program, and related programs. Not too many guys around.

  99. Currently the majority of my closest friends are women. I’ve had a lot of guy friends, too, but most are not as good as women about keeping in touch over time and distances.

  100. I tend to prefer being around men. I’m not into all the drama that comes with most woman πŸ™‚

  101. I like men friends better even though I don’t have that many..I’ve been around alot of backstabbing and gossip with my women friends (actually ex friends)

  102. I like to be around men most of the time because it seems that women have a lot more drama. Most of my friends are male.

  103. I think I find it easier to be around men, for the simple fact they are not that catty and hold grudges over silly things!

  104. I don’t have a preference — I have good friends of both genders. I just prefer to be around my friends than a random woman or man.

  105. I so prefer being around men. I have been on this wonderful earth many decades and have yet to meet a woman who was not jealous in some way. Unless they (woman) are true compassionate god believers, I so prefer men. Men have been my closest friends throughtout my life.

  106. I’ve been subscribed to your blog since I first found you, the day I first started my blog!

    (Awww, thanks Oregon! *hugs*)

  107. I’m used to being around guys. It’s more comfortable for me to be around them since I was raised mainly by my dad and brothers and then the ex was in the Marines so we always had a houseful of guys over with no where to go and my former career was dominated by men.

    BUT, with that said, I am very comfortable around my horse-girl friends. Horse people are just a bit different. It’s a different culture for sure.

    Not so comfortable around other women because I can’t usually relate, even though I like shoes.

  108. Generally, I prefer to be around women. It makes absolutely no sense, but I tend to feel intimidated around guys. I’m not sure why.

    However, my best friend is a guy. He makes it easy to be around, and he isn’t into drama.

    I’m perfectly content with just being by myself, though.

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