Friday Fun

Dear So-and-So …

Dear Holiday Shoppers,

Look. I know you’re stressed. We’re ALL stressed. But COME ON. Have a little compassion. Pushing that elderly lady or manhandling those tired, cranky children is not exactly showing good will toward your fellow man, now is it?

Calm down. You’ll get your errands done in time. And if you don’t, then you’re an idiot because dude, Christmas comes the same time every year. Budget your time and money a little better next time, kay? Spare us all your ill temper and foul mouth. You’re not setting a very good example to our future generations.

Not to mention, you’re lighting other people’s already short fuses, which is NOT helping the chaos, trust me.

Dear Holiday Drivers,

*SIGH* What the hell is wrong with you? I realize you’re distracted, we’re ALL distracted. We’ve all got a million and one things to do before Christmas Eve – I get that.

But here’s a news flash, and brace yourself for this may come as a shock, but HELLO?! You’re not the only one on the road.

*GASP* I KNOW! It’s quite shocking.

But even during the holidays, road rules apply. And being a jerk and not allowing other cars to merge will NOT get you where you need to go faster. It WILL, however, get you several dirty looks and choice words from other drivers. And if you have young ears around?

Not setting a good example, here.

So I beg you. Pay attention. Don’t be checking items off your list, don’t be drinking eggnog, don’t be fluffing your hair for that next holiday party and for the love of God, hang up that stupid cell phone!

Most of us would prefer to arrive at our destinations all in one piece.


Dear Mommy Bloggers,

If the majority of you can’t respond to a stressful/troubling situation with grace and aplomb, then I would like to disassociate myself from the organization effective immediately.

It’s embarrassing and is, quite frankly, souring the general public’s opinion about an institution that has the potential to be something warm, beautiful, supportive and wonderful.

Here’s an idea, let’s channel all of that negative energy into something GOOD, like helping out local foster children this holiday season. Or helping out in a soup kitchen. There are so many positive things we could be doing in lieu of the mean girl theatrics.

It sickens me.

Dear Guilt,

I know you’re there. I can feel you breathing down my neck and I have one thing to say to you: Bugger off.