Fighting the Battle to Sleep (The Clinic)

If I’ve ever doubted Kevin’s feelings about my blogging, I don’t have to doubt them anymore —

He took a picture of himself all hooked up at the sleep clinic last night so that I could blog about it.

Have I mentioned lately how much I ADORE this man!??!

(I love his expression in this picture. He’s 1/3 tired, 1/3 apprehensive and 1/3 embarrassed. Poor guy).

If you’ve missed out on what’s going on, Kevin has sleep issues. He’s had them for like … forever. Seriously, he can’t remember a time in his entire life that he HASN’T had sleep problems. He’s tried all sorts of diet combinations, adjusted his sleep hours, changed his sleep venue and nothing has worked.

He finally threw in the towel this past month and went to see a sleep specialist.

When he described his symptoms (waking up with headaches, stuffy nose, not being able to go back to sleep), the doctor thought it might be sleep apnea.

Which I’ve been telling him he has for years.

But to accurately figure out what is going on, they needed to observe him while asleep.

So, last night, he reported to sleep duty.

He was not allowed to drink any coffee after noon. This also meant, he couldn’t have any chocolate because it had caffeine in it. He also had to shave so the sensors would stick to his face.

And of course, he couldn’t take a nap. Which was really hard because he had a gig Saturday night and didn’t get home until the wee hours of the morning.

At 7:15 p.m., he packed an overnight bag with his “jammies” (he doesn’t really have jammies, *ahem* but he had to WEAR something), his toothbrush/toothpaste, some reading material and his glasses.

He was not allowed to take his cell phone (because of the distraction).

He arrived at the clinic and read a sign to go downstairs. He signed up and then sat down to await his name to be called.

When it was his turn (he said there were about nine rooms and seven of them were being used — a lot of people must have sleep problems!), they settled him into his room. They told him to put on his sleep clothes and when he was ready, to open the door.

The nurse then came in and started hooking him up to the wires. He said the nurse asked him why he was so tan; he told her that we had just gotten back from vacation.

Which is true, but that’s not the reason he’s so tan. We tan — together. Well, not together (though that would probably be more fun *ahem*) but we go to the tanning salon together. I don’t know why he’s so embarrassed to tell people that. A lot of guys tan.

I tan. WE tan. What’s the big deal?! (And he will die that I just told ya’ll that).

Anyway, he was then told to take his sleeping pill, which he did, and when he got sleepy, to press a button to let them know that he was ready to go to sleep.

He took a Lunesta started getting really groggy by about 10:30. So, he pressed the button and the lights went out. A voice then came over a speaker right above him and asked him to move his eyes first one way, then the other, to cough, to clear his throat, to take deep breaths, to hold his breath, etc., so they could test to make sure the connections were working.

Then, he fell asleep.

He says that he actually slept pretty good, of course. (Figures — it’s like when your car starts acting funny and you take it to the mechanic but the stupid thing works perfectly for him and he looks at you like you’re nuts).

I mean, I’m glad the man slept, but well, I was expecting him to stop breathing at some point in the night and they would have to come in and put him on a cpap machine so that he could get back to sleep.

And voila! His sleep problem would be solved. He would sleep and be happy, we’d all hold hands, sing Kumbaya and a huge rainbow would appear over our house.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have any problems. He did wake up at 4:00 a.m., which is “normal” for him. He laid in his bed for an hour before the tech came in and asked him if he was ready to get up.

It sort of freaked him out that they KNEW he was awake, you know?

So, he said yes, got up, got dressed, grabbed his stuff, came home, crawled into bed with me, which woke me up, and he went back to sleep while I lay there and tried to go back to sleep for another hour (which didn’t happen, thanks babe).

He’s supposed to find out his results in two weeks. Whatever happens, sleep apnea or not, I hope they’re able to help the man.

It sucks when you can’t sleep.