Blogging is largely an autonomous activity. We get on here, write down our thoughts or describe something that happened in our lives, click on “publish” and *SNAP*, it’s out there for the world to see.
Only, it doesn’t feel like the world to me, it doesn’t feel like anything. It’s a page on my monitor and in a lot of ways, it doesn’t even feel real. It’s real at the time I write it, but once it’s on my blog, I’ve moved past it and a lot of times, have already forgotten about it.
And it always surprises me whenever I get comments. First, I’m surprised that anyone even reads it. Secondly, when I go back and re-read some of this stuff, it’s almost like it happened to another person.
I write in the moment. I write what I’m feeling at that moment. So by the time I go back and read it over again, my feelings have changed. Whatever it was that bothered me, doesn’t bother me anymore. I felt that way when I wrote the post, but I’m over it now and feel totally different.
I’ve purged my thoughts and feelings (and feel much better, thank you very much) and have abandoned those thoughts and feelings to someone’s RSS reader to read, skim, or skip altogether.
I’ve moved on. I’m already living the next post.
It’s different, putting myself out there for the world to analyze, when I know they are faceless beings. It’s somehow easier to bare my soul to perfect strangers than to say, my family. And I suppose the biggest reason is because people in real life know me, or at least, they are in close enough proximity to SEE through my tough talk and false bravado and take a gander at my vulnerability.
But the nameless, faceless people? Only know me through my words. They may judge me, but I won’t be aware of their judgment (unless they leave a comment and even then, it doesn’t feel ….. real) so I can simply continue being …. me … in the moment.
I think I would start feeling EXTREMELY uncomfortable if I ever got to the “popular” level and I continued to slice and dice my life out to place on a board for all the world to come by and sniff their nose at. I’ve been thankful, on more than one (hundred) occasion that I wasn’t Dooce, or The Pioneer Woman or MckMama simply because I’m not sure how I would handle the very public scrutiny and the very public judgments that I see these talented bloggers go through all the time.
I think being willing to go that far out on a limb takes a lot of courage.
I’ve always wondered what I would do if/when someone from my real life approached me to tell me they read my blog.
Like when on Tuesday, when we were at Kevin’s company picnic, one of his constitutes (Hi Julie!) approached me and said,
“I have a confession to make. I’m addicted to your blog.”
*blinkblink*
My very first reaction was:
“Good Lord.”
My second reaction was:
“How flattering!”
My third reaction?
“Good Lord.”
My fourth reaction?
*PANIC!*
What do I say?! How do I act? Why is my tongue swelling and sticking to the roof of my mouth? Why do I feel like a deer in headlights?
Say something, you idiot!
“Um, that’s great.”
Perfect. I couldn’t have SOUNDED any more idiotic.
She took me by surprise. (I’m really not that stupid, Julie. Well, I take that back. I’m not USUALLY quite that stupid, Julie).
I honestly didn’t know what to say.
And that confused me. Because as you can see, from my blog, I’m not usually short on words.
Ah, but that’s the difference between blogging and real life — blogging, I have TIME to formulate my thoughts (I won’t even tell you how much time I spend writing these things and LOOK, they’re still jumbled up and confusing) and in real life? I’m on the spot. I have to think fast …
and THAT is my problem.
I’m just not that quick.
Apparently. 😯
Write From Karen 
It is odd when the real and virtual worlds collide; no matter what the direction. Come to the next 417 blogger meeting so we can get caught in public!
I find that hard to believe! You’re one of the wittiest (is that a word) people I know!
I haven’t had this happen to me, since most of my readers are people I know in real life. But, yeah, it would freak me out a little if some random person came up and started talking about something I wrote, or just my blog in general. It might be cool, but it would still freak me out.
I’m like you in the quick thinking department. Sometimes, I’m quick to respond, most times, not. In writing, though, I’m always careful to take the time to choose just the right words. There’s no quick thinking on my blog!
I hear you on this one. I just recently moved back to my hometown and someone who I went to high school (and is a friend on facebook) but not anyone I really was actual friends with; has a daughter in the same kindergardern class as my youngest. She instantly knew the “psuedo names” of the boys. I was a bit freaked out since she doesn’t ever comment. I think if I “know” that people I know read it through comments, than I might feel less of the feeling of deer in headlights when approached in real life.