Fiction: Offended

Writing Prompt:
Write about an argument between two people. Your definition of people can be as loose as you want it to be.

Brace yourselves, this is edgy stuff. 🙂

By the way, this is fictional and didn’t really happen.

Or did it? 😉
_________________________

“Yeah! Hang on a sec honey, let me check my emails.”

Karen curled a leg under her and sat down in her brown, and slightly stained, computer chair. She clicked on her Yahoo email box and was surprised to see five messages from someone called LabelGrl. She clicked on the oldest first.

“Hi Karen! Love your blog! Look, I have a question. Could you sign onto your Yahoo Messenger account so we can talk?”

“How did this girl know about my Messenger account?” Karen mumbled under her breath. She proceeded to check the remaining four messages but they all asked the same thing, only the way it was asked changed slightly.

“Uh, okay. Sure, I’ll bite.” Karen signed onto her account and proceeded to check the rest of her messages. She had just clicked on the second one when she received an IM from LabelGrl.

LabelGrl: “Hi Karen!”

Karen arched a brow and typed back, “Hey LabelGrl. What’s up?”

LabelGrl: “Yeah, thanks for signing on. Look, I have a question concerning the video bit you posted today.”

“The … what?” Karen asked her computer monitor as she minimized the chat window and looked at her blog. Was LabelGrl talking about the “Who Owns a Pair of Mom Jeans” entry?

Karen: “Um, okay.”

LabelGrl: “The thing is … why did you post it?”

Karen blinked and typed her response. “Because I thought it was funny.”

LabelGrl: “To whom?”

Karen bit back a grin and was secretly impressed that LabelGrl used whom instead of who. “Well, I thought it was funny.”

LabelGrl: “So you think fat women are funny.”

Karen: “What in the world are you talking about?”

LabelGrl: “That video implies that women have to have a nine-inch zipper in order to get jeans over their fat asses.”

Karen thought about that for a moment before nodding at the screen. “And …?”

LabelGrl: “And you thought that was appropriate to post on your blog?”

Karen: “It’s a Saturday Night Live skit, yeah, I thought it was funny. Saturday Night Live cracks me up.”

LabelGrl: “Well, I didn’t appreciate it.”

Karen: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

LabelGrl: “Take it off.”

Karen: “Take what off.” She knew what she was asking; she just couldn’t believe she was asking it.

LabelGrl: “The skit. Take it off your blog. It’s hateful and derogatory.”

Karen: “Let me get this straight … you’re asking me to remove something from my own blog because you didn’t like it?”

LabelGrl: “Yes.”

Karen: “Look. I’m sorry you found the bit offensive, but SNL has a reputation for being edgy and a tad tacky and though this piece is certainly not the most flattering to moms, I still think it was funny because in some ways, it’s true.”

LabelGrl: “So, you ARE making fun of fat people!”

Karen sighed at the screen and continued to type. “No, I think the skit was mainly making fun of moms and their fashion choices. I really don’t think it had anything to do with a size of a woman’s ass.”

LabelGrl: “So now you’re making fun of moms.”

Karen: “I think you’re putting words into my mouth. No, I’m not making fun of moms. I’ve caught myself falling into this same trap. Hell, I’ve even wore the vest they advertised at the end of the skit!”

LabelGrl: “I’m disappointed, Karen. I really liked your blog and you’ve disappointed me.”

Karen: “I’m truly sorry to hear that, LabelGrl. I know SNL stuff doesn’t appeal to everyone.”

LabelGrl: “I’m not the only one disappointed, Karen. There are lots of bloggers who think you take your humor too far.”

Karen: “Oh?”

LabelGrl: “Yeah, so if you want to continue receiving traffic from (such-and-such) blogroll, I suggest you remove that offensive skit immediately.”

Karen couldn’t resist asking the burning question, “Or … what?”

LabelGrl: “You’ll lose readers.”

Karen: “And that’s okay.”

LabelGrl: “What! How can you say that? Don’t you care?”

Karen: “Of course I care but I’m not going to change my personality every five minutes to accommodate a certain type of crowd, nor do I plan on censoring what I do post, or do not post on my blog. I’m truly sorry if this skit offended you, but I simply posted something that I thought was funny and that I thought other readers might find funny, too. The whole purpose of my blog is to make people laugh and share a bit of my boring, mundane life. That’s it. I’m not doing this to generate hits or gain popularity.”

LabelGrl: “I think it was a bitchy thing to do.”

Karen: “I’m sensing you have issues. I’ve said I was sorry, it’s not like I made the stupid thing myself. I’m simply a messenger.”

LabelGrl: “I DO NOT HAVE ISSUES! I’m only speaking as a concerned reader.”

Karen: “And I appreciate your concern, really. And again, I’m sorry you were offended. But I’m not taking it off.”

LabelGrl: “Fine. I’m never visiting your blog again.”

Karen stopped typing her response as soon as she noticed LabelGrl sign off. “I didn’t mean to make anyone mad.”

“What’s going on?” Karen’s husband said over her shoulder.

“I made a reader mad because of an SNL skit I posted about mom jeans.” She brought up the offending post and sat back so her husband could watch it.

He laughed. “It’s funny.”

“That’s what I thought!”

“And true,” he said.

She blinked up at him. “Do you think so?”

“Yeah. A lot of women DO have fat asses and wear unflattering, frumpy clothes after having kids.”

“Wait a minute,” Karen got out of her computer chair and faced her husband. “You try pushing an 8 pound baby through the opening the size of a straw and think …”

He held up his hands to fend off her temper. “I’m just saying …”

“I know what you’re saying,” she snapped back. Suddenly, she didn’t find the Mom Jean’s skit very funny either.