Mentally Overwhelmed

From Kodak Picture of the Day
From Kodak Picture of the Day

Mentally, I’m in this picture. I’ve been so distracted lately. All I can think about is this upcoming cruise and I’m just so excited to take the boys this go-around (Kevin and I went on a cruise, by ourselves, for our tenth anniversary nine years ago). I can’t wait to introduce them to so many different experiences.

I have a long to-do list, that I plan on blasting to bits in the next 17 days (17 days?!). I mainly need to shop for clothing for the boys. They have both outgrown their shorts, don’t have sandals and will need some dress-up clothes for formal nights. I’m not exactly looking forward to taking them clothes shopping, but I’ve put it off long enough – the kids simply don’t have anything that will fit them.

I’m also feeling pretty guilty about taking this cruise. It looks like most people are staying home this summer. I know times are tough and I certainly don’t want to rub this vacation in anyone’s nose, but at the same time, I don’t want my guilty conscience to cast a shadow on a potentially great family vacation, either.

Emotionally, I’m in a strange place.

This past week has been …. draining. I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday, I feel like I’ve lived two weeks in only a handful of days.

Kevin took a sick day today. This is his third sick day that he’s taken in the past six years. The fact that he caved and actually TOOK a sick day is enough to make me worry.

The man simply doesn’t succumb to sickness very often.

In fact, hate us if you will, but we’re just not a family that gets sick very often. Oh sure, we have the occasional running nose or cough, but overall, we just don’t get sick.

Kevin has been down, flat on his back, since yesterday morning. It all started about 7:00 a.m. I was working on some school websites when I hear this croaky, little voice call out to me,

“Karen, come here.”

“What?” I said, confused as to who was calling me because I wasn’t familiar with the voice.

“Come here.”

It was Kevin. And he sounded terrible. I walked back to our bedroom and he’s slowly lowering himself back to the mattress. He’s moving like an old man and his skin is really red – like sunburned red.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, a finger of alarm worming it’s way down my throat.

“I can’t walk,” he says and collapses back onto the bed.

“What do mean, ‘you can’t walk’?”

He doesn’t answer my question and instead asks for a thermometer. I fetch it for him and while he’s shaking it down, I put my hand on his head.

He doesn’t feel hot, but he looks terrible.

“What’s wrong?” I ask again.

“I don’t know. My whole body aches and I can’t walk.” He sounds worried, which makes ME worry. This man doesn’t make a big deal out of anything.

He did end up having a 100.5 fever, so after placing another blanket on him (he was trembling), I fetched some ibuprofen to help with his muscle aches and put a damp washcloth on his forehead.

And that’s what I ended up doing for him all day long. I alternated between giving him Tylenol, food, blankets, a fan, and cool compresses.

He was flat on his back all day long. And he slept for most of the day.

I told the boys to stay away from him. But in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “WHY haven’t I been sick?” We were, uh, intimate Sunday night and then this sickness sucker punched him Monday – if he had been carrying some sort of germ, shouldn’t I have had it, too?

And save for a little soreness in my hips/back and a scratchy throat, I’ve been fine. Of course, I’ve been ODing on vitamin C and popping Zicams like candy, but still.

I’ll be honest, I was a little scared for him. And I’m still pretty worried today. Though he’s feeling better and he can walk, he’s pretty sore and really tired. Whatever this was, just zapped the energy right out of him.

I offered to take him to the clinic, but he didn’t want to. He thinks it’s just some sort of flu bug and since he already feels so much better today (he actually had enough energy to take a shower, but he’s back in bed now), he really doesn’t think it’s necessary to go see a doctor when all he’s going to tell him is go back to bed and drink lots of fluids.

Which he’s doing.

This whole sickness thing threw me for a loop. I found myself … not knowing what to do. And if you know me at all, not knowing what to do or how to handle a situation makes me cranky. I don’t like feeling lost and helpless – at all.

But I was fine. I kept my cool and played nurse to him all day yesterday. The only time I lost it and snapped at him was when the mole guy called to say he was on his way over. Since there was no way he could talk to the guy, that left me. And I had no idea what I was doing, or what was going on.

Hell, I didn’t even think having this mole guy come over was even necessary. (The guy charges a rather large amount to retain his services for six months and then it’s an additional $50 for each mole he catches. And judging by the state of our lawn, we have several generations of moles living on our property).

So, I got cranky. I couldn’t understand why he just didn’t reschedule the guy some other time when he could talk to him.

But this is Kevin we’re talking about here, and he likes to get things done, and once he has his mind made up, there’s no turning back.

So, I dealt with the guy (who was really nice, by the way. And when I watched his 20-month old son waddle around our yard “helping” him, well, my irritation evaporated).

But I was disgusted with myself. What sort of wife gets cranky with her husband when he’s OBVIOUSLY sick and can’t even walk?!

I seriously have some issues to work out – like my selfish, self-centered tendencies are two that come to mind.

We all know about my many faults, so let’s move on ….

The last day of school is today. Finally. I was beginning to think it would NEVER get here.

Both Dude and Jazz have been asked to parties tonight. Dude’s going to a sleep-over and Jazz has a mixed gender party at a subdivision pavilion. (Which might get rained out, boo!)

I can’t believe another year has passed …. blahblahblah. I get impatient whenever I read posts that lament on the passing of time, so I won’t bore you with the same ole, same ole, but suffice it to say, BOTH of my boys will be in high school next year and I’m feeling … torn. I think I’m mostly relieved that they’ll be together and can look out for each other. I’m hoping Jazz’s social butterfly personality rubs off on Dude and he gets involved in something next year. We’ll see.

I’m looking at this summer being the last real “fun” summer for them. Next summer, Dude will get a job and Jazz will be busy with summer school and band. I also plan on working by then, so it’ll be a challenge to schedule family time/vacation next year.

In addition, Dude will be a junior next year which means it’s time to start getting serious about looking at college, scholarships and taking the ACT test (for the first time). Though a big part of me is sad that the boys are no longer, well, BOYS, I think I’m more excited about the men they are becoming.

They will be released two hours early today. I plan on taking them out for Subway sandwiches and then ice cream; I’m looking forward to wrapping up their 10th and 8th grade years with them.

And lastly….

You can now subscribe to Write From Karen from your Kindle.

Yes, there’s a Write From Karen (Kindle Edition).

Scary, isn’t it?

You can try it out for 14 days, for free, if you wish, and then it only costs a measly $1.99 every MONTH. That’s 30 plus days of scintillating articles for just pennies a day.

I know, what a deal, right??

And the best part?? You can take me with you wherever you go! You don’t even have to be in a WiFi hot spot to read my blog because Kindle runs on whispernet – which is the same technology that your cell phone uses.

Though I’m THRILLED that Amazon has started this program of subscribing to blogs on the Kindle, I’m a little … intimidated. It’s one thing to write for ME and to goof off and be silly, but it’s quite ANOTHER thing entirely whenever people are PAYING to read it.

*gulp* I hope I don’t disappoint anyone.

But it also motivates me to do more creative writing if only to provide a little spice for you, dear readers. 😉

Anyway, if you’ve subscribed MUAH! I love ya. If you’re thinking about it, MUAH! I love ya.

I’m pretty easy to please.