Please watch the below video:
Now, here’s the deal – I’m the meat (boy wouldn’t feminists go crazy if they knew I just referred to myself as a piece of meat HA!) and the air being sucked from the bag is the moisture being sucked from my body.
Get the picture? My whole body is like this piece of meat that has had all the air sucked out of it.
I’m a walking, talking, wrinkled, pasty, scaly, cracking, bleeding shell of a woman. Attractive, no?
(Oh honey! How’s about a kiss?)
But seriously, I’m drying out and it’s not pretty. My hands are especially dry. Probably because I wash them like a bazillion times a day.
My hands get so dry this time of year that the skin, right next to the tip of the nail, splits wide open and is sore for days until it scabs over and I end up
biting cutting it off.
(Want to hold my hand? Actually, seriously, it IS embarrassing when I have to shake hands with someone).
My hands get so dry that it feels like I’ve dipped my hands into sugar granules and now it has that gritty, sandy feeling.
It’s gross and I can’t stand it!
Oh sure, I use lotion. In fact, I use that fancy-smancy Bath and Body Works hand lotion (that’s like $100 for a few ounces – okay fine, I’m exaggerating, it’s like $12.00 for a few ounces but dang it, that’s still too expensive) and though that works great, I’m so cheap that I use it sparingly because hello?! I’m not made of money here.
But I can’t stand the feel of my hands so I use it and heck, I might as well rub dollar bills on my hands because that’s all I can think about when I’m rubbing it in.
And the rest of my body dries out, too. I go through bottles of lotion for my arms and legs and probably one of those huge ice cream tubs full of Carmax for my lips because wow, it’s not sexy to kiss someone with chapped lips.
And I’m rather partial to kisses, thank you very much.
I wish I could find some cheaper lotion. And yes, I’ve tried nearly every lotion on the market today. The Bath and Body Works lotions really work well for me.
So, the point of this silly post was to ask you a question: What sorts of lotions work best for you? I’m specifically looking for hand lotions because honestly readers, my hands look 20 years older than the rest of my body.
Christmas song #16 Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas by Harry Connick, Jr.