A Crabby Lunch

My boys are not allowed to watch cartoons – not that they would now anyway – they’re teenagers … but they haven’t watched cartoons in years.

You must think I’m the meanest mom in the world.

Truthfully? I’m definitely a runner up.

But no, cartoons are not allowed in my house. And here’s why …

They are mind-numbing nonsense.

When the boys were little, they watched cartoons. Hours and hours of cartoons. So many cartoons, in fact, that it got to the point where I could virtually recite, line-by-line, some of those silly cartoons – that’s how many times I listened to them while picking up Lego’s, stepping over Thomas Trains and balling dirty socks up in one fist and “shooting” them into the clothes hamper. (Hey, you have your entertainment, I have mine – don’t judge).

But it wasn’t until one particular cartoon became popular that I put my foot down. The cartoon?

Ed, Edd and Eddy.

I ABHOR this cartoon. I mean LOATHE it.

First of all, what is up with all of the character squiggly lines/movement? It is the most distracting aspect of trying to watch that stupid show. What, the cartoonists thought it would be cool to give viewers headaches with trying to keep up with all of the jerky animation?

Guess what? It did.

And then the characters themselves are just downright nasty to look at. The flesh tones are pasty and remind me of vomit and the eyes cross. Ugh. And then, there’s the language. The dialogue was … asinine. The plot was pointless and the humor? Wasn’t funny, it was just stupid. And the voices themselves … the tones just grated on my nerves.

But I could ignore all of that and did for a long while because the boys enjoyed it. Even though the entire concept behind the cartoon was to dumb-down any and all intelligence, I looked the other way all for the sake of listening to my boys laugh at the sheer insanity of this cartoon.

But then … then they started quoting lines from the cartoon. And began to assume characteristics of these idiot characters and re-enact portions of the cartoon and I simply couldn’t take it anymore.

I started paying attention.

I began not only watching Ed, Edd and Eddy, but I began watching a number of other cartoons the boys were watching. Spongebob Squarepants for instance (though equally stupid, at least it was funny). And a number of other popular cartoons at the time.

And I found all of them severely lacking in content and/or intelligent humor (which could be argued, how intelligent can you get with school-aged kids, but still … let’s give these little people SOME credit, shall we?)

After a while, I just couldn’t justify allowing the kids to watch something so … mind numbing, so pointless, so … stupid. I realize they are cartoons and they aren’t meant to be taken seriously, but some of the messages behind these cartoons was just … skewed that I didn’t feel like it was adding anything to their intellect.

And so, I directed the boys to something a little more intellectually stimulating.

The Discovery Channel, for instance. Shows that dealt with space, history, the earth, science, animals, technology … you know, shows that used proper grammar and talked in complete sentences – shows that actually stimulated intelligence and prompted thought. (Remember the whole what you put into your mind comes out your heart thing?)

My boys soon began to LOVE Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, How It’s Made, Man Vs. Wild, The Deadliest Catch and so on. At least these shows experimented with real-world concepts and jump started their synapses.

The husband began taping all of these shows and we would sit down, as a family, and watch them together. And they have prompted more than one thought-provoking conversation, which in my opinion, is always a good thing. So I didn’t feel too terribly guilty taking the boys’ cartoons away from them when it was replaced with something that actually required them to think, contemplate and regurgitate questions and ideas.

Our favorite show, though, out of all of those mentioned above, was “The Deadliest Catch.” We have been HOOKED on that show since it began. It was not only the process of fishing for crab that caught our attention, but rather, it was the strength, endurance, patience, risk and sheer determination of the fishermen who lived the experience all for the sake of catching a spider-like creature at the bottom of the Bering Sea that “reeled” us in. (pun intended).

We simply couldn’t get enough of it. (It also introduced the boys to Bon Jovi because of the theme song. Speaking as a child of the ’80’s and who has had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi for as long as I can remember, I was ESTATIC. Now I had an EXCUSE to blast Bon Jovi whenever I had the chance. Boo-yah!).

It also made the boys very curious about crab. They wanted to taste it, touch it, really get a chance to examine it.

So, the husband and I took the boys to Red Lobster for lunch yesterday. We didn’t want to order a whole plate of crab in case they didn’t like it, so the hubs ordered a combo plate. MK ordered the popcorn shrimp, GD had the shrimp alfredo and I had the crab alfredo (I’m not a big seafood person to begin with, but I can occasionally handle crab).

When our food arrived, the boys were very eager to take a look at the crab legs. They handled the legs, they made little scratching gestures, they bent the joints, they tested the sharpness of the claw … oh wait, that was the husband. (In fact, the husband was having so much fun with the crab legs he made our waitress laugh).

The husband showed the boys how to crack the leg and attempt to pull out the juicy meat in one piece. He wasn’t successful, but it was fun to watch the guys try it.

They tasted it. And they liked it. And the experience satisfied their curiosity so now, when they watch The Deadliest Catch, they will have a deeper understanding of the monetary value and hard work behind the fishing escapades.

It’s so SATISFYING when your children pursue and then learn something about the world around them, isn’t it?

Yesterday was our last luncheon together for a while – school starts back on Monday. That was sort of the grand finale of the summer – we had been promising to take the boys out for crab for weeks, but wanted to wait until the very end because A. it prolonged the suspense and B. it’s freaking expensive to eat seafood! ($50 plus dollars for lunch?!).

But the time and money was nothing compared to the pure joy and satisfaction on the boys’ faces. They’ve ingested a bit more of the world …



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From the Past: Being … Cool?

I believe THAT’S debatable. 😉

Being Cool?

Beginning at the left: my sister, my brother and me, looking smug and quite sarcastic (gee, not much has changed, has it).

This would be … in the early 80’s, I believe. That would make me a freshman. Check out our short-shorts and my brother’s feet – nice sock tan line there, bro!

And you thought I was KIDDING about the no boobage thing, didn’t you. HA!

(My apologizes to my sister and brother who are probably going to kill me for posting this. Oh well, it wouldn’t be the first [or last!] time).