Life

Take a Breath

Something else about masks …

I promise I’ll shut up about masks …

maybe …

eventually …

We went to our neighboring city’s Wal-Mart last night, (we go grocery shopping every Friday night after we eat – it’s one of our “date” nights – I know, we are ANIMALS), and it was so nice to see nearly everyone without a mask. It seemed so normal! It was nice to see people’s faces again.

Then, today, I went to my local Wal-Mart to grab some chocolate, (don’t judge), some Wheat Thins, (I’m OBSESSED with them right now), and some darker foundation, (because it’s summer and I tan very easily), and nearly everyone was wearing a mask!

*cue sad, dramatic music*

SIGH

Kevin and I are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we live in a liberal city. In fact, let me prove it:

Do you see that one white spot?

Yeah, that’s where we live and it’s the ONLY county in the ENTIRE state of Missouri that has NOT entirely lifted restrictions. Really? Really?!? What the actual hell? We’ve been in denial for a long time and it’s time for a reality check – we are surrounded by liberals. And the frustrating part, (among many), is that we had an opportunity to vote these mo-fos out of office but did we?? Nope. Why? Because most people are not paying attention to what’s going on around them and didn’t even bother to vote!

AARGH!

*deep breath* Anyway, Kevin and I refuse to wear a mask and people can just bite my butt because WE ARE OVER THIS PANDEMIC CRAP. It’s over. Accept it!

However, it got me thinking as to why people still choose to wear a mask and I’m betting the reasons go way beyond COVID. And this article caught my eye:

A number of women have come forth asserting they would prefer to keep wearing masks, even after the general public has discarded them, with some of the women offering explanations such as a mask functions as an “invisibility cloak” or acts “almost like taking away the male gaze.”

I found this fascinating. It never really occurred to me that people would WANT to continue wearing masks for reasons outside of COVID. But it makes sense to me. Masks hide your identity, they, in essence, make you invisible to people. Some of the reasons given in this article:

“I don’t want to feel the pressure of smiling at people to make sure everyone knows I’m ‘friendly’ and ‘likable.’ It’s almost like taking away the male gaze. There’s freedom in taking that power back.”

I can definitely relate to this reason. There are days the last thing I want to do is smile at people, or put on my happy face. People are exhausting, especially when you work with the public. You have to pretend so much when you’re around people, the good and the bad, and it gets old having to pretend something you’re not all the time. It’s also a great way to disguise my expressions because sometimes, I listen to patients and it’s all I can do not to grimace or frown, or whatever, and wearing a mask helps to hide my true feelings. My face is very expressive, (so I’ve been told), and I have a MEAN resting bitch face, the mask is great for covering that up.

I’m not sure what this commenter is saying about the “man gaze.” Does she mean the look that men give you when they think you’re attractive? As a woman, I understand that look and I agree, I don’t necessarily like it, but I would rather endure that look than continue to wear a face diaper.

“Maybe it’s because I’m a New Yorker or maybe it’s because I always feel like I have to present my best self to the world, but it has been such a relief to feel anonymous. It’s like having a force field around me that says ‘don’t see me.’”

I don’t know what being a New Yorker has to do with this comment but I agree, masks were a way to make you anonymous to the world. You blended in and in a lot ways, it did make you feel a bit invisible. I can relate to this sentiment because when I’m out in public, on my own time, doing my thing, I want to be left alone. I’m on a mission, to get what I need, or do what I need to do, and leave. Blending in was a perfect way for me to remain under the radar and not draw attention to myself.

“I just stare at that little box with my face in it and pick apart my appearance. My double chin seems six times larger, my eye bags are too deep of a purple, etc … Even when there’s a heatwave and my apartment is close to 90 degrees, I’ll wear a turtleneck that I can pull up. I pack on thick makeup that makes my skin peel. I 10,000% plan on wearing it for the foreseeable future. After a full work day of worrying and not being able to focus on my actual job, it just feels nice to blend in. Simply put, I’m sick of being perceived.”

This comment just makes me sad. I feel bad that people are so self-conscious about how they look that they would prefer to wear a face diaper than allow people to see them. I’m sorry some people feel this way, however, that’s even more of a reason to get out there and live your life instead of hiding from it. Take control, do something about those insecurities, whether that’s make different lifestyle choices or seek therapy – no one should want to wear a mask simply to hide physical imperfections.

I’ll never forget the first time we were FORCED to wear a mask. It was a trip to Wal-Mart shortly after this pandemic started and they wouldn’t allow you to come in without one. I was so furious the entire trip that by the time we got back out to our car, my heart rate was 160! I felt faint and JUST PISSED OFF. To me, wearing a mask is dehumanizing and humiliating. It does something to your psyche, at least, it did to mine, and I furious that they were taking my right to choose away from me. To me, I was being forced to abide by someone else’s fears. It dented my fierce sense of independence and I was resentful as hell.

(Still am).

I, for one, FULLY EMBRACE the fact that we’re doing away with masks. If you want to continue wearing one, go ahead, but I will not be participating any more.

I choose to breathe freely. Always.

Podcast

25: Biden Issues Ultimatum Mask or Vax – Excuse Me, Sir, You are Not My Keeper

pexels-photo-601177
 
 

Mentioned in podcast:
 
 
Book review: Hate Notes by Vi Keeland and Penelope Ward
 

Intermission music:
 
The Sound Consumes by Punch Deck | https://soundcloud.com/punch-deck
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License
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Take me on the go! You can hear my podcast on the following platforms:

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Here is our Podcast “Right From Us”

Abundant Life

Scientific Proof that God Exists

Discovered this beauty on Twitter. I love what she says and how she says it. What an intelligent young woman!

For those that are interested in Creation / Evolution references, check this out. There are a TON of links and resources for you to check out.

And here are some articles that provide even more information:

The Real “War of the Worlds

“For thousands of years, a war has raged between two worlds; one a kingdom of light, the other, a kingdom of darkness. Lives have been lost, battles have been fought, homes have been torn apart. Lies have been spun, traps have been set, countless have been deceived. These two worlds that wrestle against one another both fight for life – your life. But only one has the truth. This epic war between the two greatest kingdoms in the universe is never so evident as it is in the Creation/Evolution debate.”

Don’t the Bible and science oppose each other?

“One of the chief arguments against the Bible is that evolution, not creation, is responsible for the origin of animals and man. Spirit & Truth Fellowship International joins its voice with thousands of other educated Christians in categorically denying that evolution is true and that men and women are the product of millions of years of unplanned and random changes. The evidence from all branches of science is confirming that God did create the heavens and the earth, just as the Bible says. We have material on the subject, and the reader is also referred to the many books, articles, and scholarly monographs on the subject done by The Institute for Creation Research, The Creation Evidences Museum, and Answers in Genesis, some of the organizations that specialize in teaching the truths about Creation.”

The Revolution against Evolution

This movie reminds us that Evolution should be more accurately referred to as a “religion” and not science. Darwinian “theory” is nothing more than an hypothesis, which is not scientifically proven, as some would have us believe. In fact, Darwinian evolution violates many proven laws of science, such as the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which, in grossly simplistic terms, means that, over time, things tend to fall apart rather than assemble themselves.

Expelled brings to light the chicanery and coercion employed to suppress rational discussion of the issues. Those who continue to rabidly promote evolutionary theory do so at the risk of maintaining their increasingly shaky academic prestige. We must rightly question their antipathy toward the very idea that the universe was designed by an intelligent designer. And the thought of anyone calling that designer “God” is even more apoplectic to them. One must wonder what is generating such fanatical opposition to the idea of a Creator.”

I haven’t watched Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, in fact, I haven’t watched a movie in … literally months (year?), but now that I’ve mentioned it, I’m betting Kevin will want to watch it.

Just a little light reading for you on this beautiful Sunday.

God bless!

At the Moment, Can We Talk?

To Mask or Not to Mask

That seems to be the question that everyone is asking nowadays. No one has a definitive answer and honestly, it’s no one’s business what you do or if you’ve been vaccinated. You live your life, I’ll live my life. And if you’re vaccinated and you still wear a mask because you’re afraid of the non-vaccinated people, okay – go for it. I’m sorry you’re scared but if that’s how you want to live your life in response to the daily headlines that threaten a new strain and doom and gloom every day, go for it.

Me? I’m living my life as well. I choose NOT to vaccinate and NOT to wear a mask because I’m not afraid of a disease that has a 99% recovery rate. I’ll take my chances because the odds are very favorable that I’ll be just fine. But I don’t have comorbidities that would put me at risk so I feel comfortable with that decision.

See how this works? It all comes down to YOU and YOUR life and YOUR choices. No one can, (nor should), tell you how to respond to this pandemic that is clearly winding down, (thank GOD), nor how you should live your life – I answer to no one save God and my faith in God is strong and I believe He will look after and protect me and my family. If you don’t believe in God, then again, that’s your choice, you live your best life.

But now that the pandemic is over, (because let’s face it, it’s been over for a while but politics wouldn’t allow it to die), people are having trouble adjusting to “normal.” And THIS is precisely why I was so pissed off when the mask mandates first started. Firstly, it never made sense to me to wear a face diaper thereby trapping moisture from our breathing and then touching our masks trapping God knows what in the mask material and again, trapping it against our face so that we were breathing in germs we wouldn’t have normally been breathing in otherwise.

Asinine.

Secondly, I KNEW this would happen. How could it not?? People would get used to the mask and then the thought of taking it off, or seeing someone not wearing a mask “triggered” people’s fears that were bubbling just under the surface of their psyches and voila! Here we are. I didn’t want to create a new normal – I just want to live my life without the government, my co-workers, my neighbors, strangers, telling me what I should or should not do.

It doesn’t work that way. I shouldn’t be asked to work that way. We are free to make our own choices – good or bad. You are responsible for YOU, not for me, my family or anyone around you – ONLY YOU. You do what you need to do to live your life – if that means staying home and wearing your mask inside your home instead of getting out and breathing in fresh air thereby whisking away germs that would stick around in a non-circulated environment, who am I to judge?

And just as I will try not to judge you, I ask that you try not to judge me. Because again, my life decisions are none of your business.

And when I say YOU, I don’t mean YOU, dear reader, I mean people in general. (Though if you’re judging me and want to tell me how to live my life, then I guess I’m speaking to you as well).

I’m not writing this article to preach or bitch, but I’m setting this up to talk about a video that Rachel Maddow put out the other day.

Disclaimer: I despise Rachael Maddow. I think she’s seriously misguided and not very smart but I’m not bringing this up to insult her, I want to talk about what she said because it pains me to say it, but she has a point. Watch:

I’m referencing the bit with just Rachel but when I embedded the tweet, the first bit with wacko Walensky showed up so let’s talk about her bit for a second.

How can a rational, thinking person agree with Walensky? Think about the scenario she depicts for one second – a family gathering – everyone is there from great-grandma to the three-year old toddler playing with his/her toys. Everyone is having a grand time – every one is vaccinated and maskless – save for the kids under twelve. They are being forced to wear an uncomfortable mask, are having a hard time breathing and they see they are the only ones wearing a mask when the adults in their lives, the people they love and trust above all others, are not. Even after it’s been proven that COVD does not overly affect children they are being forced to wear a mask because the supposedly thinking, rational adults in their lives are afraid they will get a virus they have been vaccinated for – it’s insane and child abuse, in my opinion.

But again, if that’s what you feel you need to do for you and your family, go for it. It doesn’t matter what I think – it’s your life, your choice.

But let’s shove put wacko Walensky aside and focus on Rachel’s speech in the bottom part of that Twitter thread.

Notice how she’s genuinely surprised when she says “that people have personal feelings about it and I did too.” To me, this sounds like she doesn’t venture outside her protected bubble very much, meaning, she doesn’t take the time to talk to people in the real world, she doesn’t take the time to consider other people’s opinions. This goes back to what I’ve always said, it’s important to listen to the “other” side when it comes to controversial issues, well really, when it comes to any issue. I know this comes as a shock to some people, but YOUR opinion is not the ONLY opinion. When you act like a grown up and listen to other people as opposed to just automatically tuning people out who have a differing opinion than you, you soon realize that there is so much more to an issue than what you initially thought. Arrogant, self-righteous people have trouble with this part because for whatever reason, they think that what they think is not only right but the ONLY way to think and the thought of someone having a different opinion or disagreeing with them truly puzzles them.

It IS possible to have differing opinions. It IS possible to disagree with someone without thinking that person came from Satan.

And perhaps, hear me out, it’s possible, that what you think is not only not true, but could be wrong, or at least, not totally true. People who do not take the time to hear, or consider, other sides to an issue are arrogant and delusional. You are not right 100% of the time. I am not right 100% of the time – we all have opinions, we are all human and deserve to be heard. It’s sad to me that Rachel seems to just now be recognizing this.

But this is the part I think is the most important in what she says – she has to “rewire” herself.

“Part of it is that I am going to have to re-wire myself so that when I see somebody out the world not wearing a mask I don’t instantly think you are a threat. *awkward laugh* Or you are selfish. Or you are a COVID denier and you definitely haven’t been vaccinated. I mean we are going to have to re-wire the way we look at each other because of the CDC guidance because she just told me we are sure that if we are vaccinated we don’t need to wear a mask except in very specific circumstances and so that means as we change in the country we are going to look at each other differently and have to unwire our preconceptions about what a mask, or a lack of a mask, means.”

She goes on to quote Biden and Fauci and how “they are urging people to be patient, be compassionate, give people respect for whatever they decide on this front because with this changing guidance we are going to have changing norms and we’ve got to give each other space to have feelings about that as we go through what’s going to be a big change and change our visceral reactions in a lot of us just in our day-to-day” lives.”

Be patient and show compassions to our fellow human beings that DARE to think differently than us?!?

What a novel concept!

Gads, there is so much to unpack here in her speech … bear with me.

She’s right – People, myself included, need to re-wire our brains after the year we’ve just experienced. We have to stop automatically assume that people who are wearing, or not wearing, a mask either agree, or disagree, with our own personal views. Again, it’s not all about us, it’s about what YOU feel is necessary for YOUR life. It’s not my place to tell you what you can and can not do. In fact, if you want the truth, (when do you not get the truth), I feel sort of sorry for people who are out walking, outside, with no one around, wearing a mask because to me, they have fallen prey to the narrative that we should all be afraid of everything and everyone because of this disease that has a 99% recovery rate.

Again, if this disease had a 60%, just to pull a random number out of my butt, recovery rate, we could justify our fears. I shudder to think what our world would look like with a terrible disease with a low percentage of recovery because wow, think of the insanity, (think zombie apocalypses), but thank GOD COVID is not that disease.

Her awkward laugh is very telling to me. It’s almost like, she’s realizing, for the first time, that it’s possible to think outside herself. That the CDC had to give her permission to consider that perhaps her viewpoint on masks was bigger than her self-imposed beliefs. It’s almost like … she woke up or something. For her sake, I hope so.

I like to watch body language, facial expressions and listen to tonal inflections whenever people talk and to me, it looks like Rachel is coming to some realization – that she sees a crack of light behind a door that has been closed to her for quite some time. It gives me hope when I hear hard lefties talk like this, like maybe, just maybe, they see a crack in their matrix and on some level are conscious of a world outside their self-righteous ideologies.

But perhaps I’m being too optimistic.

The point is, even when I vehemently disagree with someone because they choose to take the road on the left and I choose to take the road on the right, it’s possible for me to listen to the other side and HEAR what they are saying instead of automatically dismissing or labeling them because of our differences.

I agree with Rachel, we ALL need to re-wire our brains, use common sense and live, and get on with, our lives. This past year has been crazy, stressful and telling as far as showcasing how fragile humanity can be. And I agree with Rachel – we need to be patient with one another, show compassion, ESPECIALLY with employees working retail, food, etc. because not only are businesses short handed, they are likely dealing with a lot of new people who don’t know what they’re doing and are desperately trying to learn.

Treat your fellow human beings, regardless of where they stand on this whole mask thing, with dignity. Just because they are living their lives differently does not give you permission to treat them with anything less than respect.

Sorry this post was so long but this issue has been weighing heavily on my heart and I wanted to document this point in time where, hopefully, things started to get back to normal.

At least until the next disaster.

Podcast

24: Happy Birthing Person Day! The Left’s Plan to Erase Women

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Where are all the feminists? I don’t understand how the left can try and redefine the role of women and yet, the feminists are quiet. Why?? Racism is spreading like a cancer and it’s not just whites that are in the crossfires. Biden is increasing the deficit – inflation is inevitable. And as if we’re not segregated enough, now the left wants to segregate the vaccinated from the non-vaccinated – yeah, that will go a long way to unifying people. The book review this week is “In the Dark” by Loreth Anne White and screw it – I’m wishing all biological women Happy Mother’s Day!

Mentioned in podcast:
 
 

Intermission music:
 
Moonlight pt.2 by Roa Music | https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License
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Take me on the go! You can hear my podcast on the following platforms:

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Apple Podcast

Spotify

Overcast

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I upload a new podcast every week. Thanks for listening!

*TALK” to you soon!

Here is our Podcast “Right From Us”

Food

Hello Fresh Review

Look what landed on our front porch!

First and foremost, this post is NOT sponsored. In any way. This is my honest opinion.

I know what you’re thinking, “But Karen, you’re one of the cheapest people on Earth, why in the world would you try Hello Fresh?”

Thanks for asking, friends, I’ll give you a few reasons.

  1. Because I was curious.
  2. Because I’m sick and tired of eating out and wanted something healthy
  3. Because a favorite YouTuber offered a discount code and I have trouble passing up a deal.

So yeah, I bit the bullet and signed up for Hello Fresh.

Kevin thought it would be fun to film us cooking the first recipe. It’s pretty obvious we’re not experts but you know what? We had fun and that’s all that matters.

We’ve tried five recipes so far:

Salsa Verde Enchiladas – I gave it four stars out of five. I don’t know that Kevin really liked this recipe all that much – it didn’t have meat, just a lot of beans, that I paid for later on in the week. *ahem* (We didn’t get a picture of this recipe)

Chicken Gyro Couscous Bowl – I REALLY liked this recipe. We happened to cook it on a really hot day and it was a perfect dinner as it was more of a cool salad-type meal. I gave that one 4 out of five stars.

Hone Thyme Pork Tenderloin was the third recipe. We diced sweet potatoes and roasted brussels sprouts, which I’ve never had before, and Kevin cooked the pork tenderloin on the grill. It was probably my least favorite. I gave it three out of five stars. Not that it was bad, just kind of bland. I will say though, I REALLY enjoyed the roasted brussels sprouts, I liked the charred taste, and the sweet potatoes were also really good, which makes me want to have them more often.

Italian Chicken Over Lemony Spaghetti was the fourth recipe. I REALLY liked this one as well and gave it 4.5 stars out of five. Again, Kevin cooked the chicken on the grill (it’s really the only way to prepare meat, in my opinion) and I cooked the zucchini and the noodles. Something about this recipe that I found really cool, was making a sauce and then tossing the fully cooked spaghetti noodles into the sauce. It re-hydrated the noodles and the pasta soaked up the flavored liquid which really gave it a good taste.

Pork Carnitas Tacos was okay. I gave it three out of five stars. The pork was crumbled and I “pickled” the onions in a white wine vinegar liquid which was an interesting taste. But it tasted a bit like hamburger helper, to be frank.

(We didn’t even try to make this picture pretty – I was over it by then and I said, “screw it, just use a paper plate”)

We also discovered Poblano peppers. Kevin and I have never had those before, at least, to our knowledge, they were in the Pork Tacos and we REALLY liked the taste of them. We will definitely use those in some of our recipes instead of plain green peppers.

We got another box today with Beef and Veggie Bibimbap and Blackened Chicken Penne recipes that we’ll try this week. I’m not a big beef fan so I’m not really looking forward to that one, but any chicken and pasta dish and I’m ALL about it.

Okay, let’s real talk here:

Cons

(I’m starting with cons because I feel like it outweighs the pros, overall)

Price – By FAR the biggest con, in my opinion.

So the discount code made the first box, of two meals, come to $28.00. The second box of three meals was $32.00. And the reason we got three meals the second go around was because for a low, low price of $1.50 per person, we could get a third meal and we were like, “why not?” The price is really not that bad – we figured we end up spending about $15 to $20 per meal for both us when we go out anyway. And this is healthy food so .. why not. The third box, which came today, cost $45.00 for two meals. And the reason it’s more is because my discount code is less on the third and fourth deliveries. The price will jump to about $60 bucks once the discount – FOR TWO MEALS.

Now I can not justify that price, really for any reason.

We have one more week with a discount and I’m really not sure if we’ll do it or not. We’re on the fence about it. We’ll see how it goes.

Cook Time

If you’re thinking getting Hello Fresh delivered to you will save you time, think again. On average, each meal took about 10 minutes to prep and between 25 – 35 minutes to cook. Now you’re coming up on an hour each night before you have a chance to sit down and eat. And let’s not forget the clean up. True. You don’t have to make a special trip to the store to buy the ingredients but let’s face it, if you plan ahead you can buy the ingredients when you have to go to the store anyway so …

Pros

Convenience – It’s delivered to your door. You don’t have to spend time hunting for specific ingredients at the store, it’s literally dropped at your door. Also, it’s fun to choose your recipes from the site every week.

Selection – The Hello Fresh website has a fantastic selection to choose from. They give you a list of recipes to choose from each week and they have meat/veggies/ vegetarian / and other diet options for those that can’t, or won’t, eat certain foods. All of the recipes look delicious and definitely not recipes we would try otherwise on our own.

Fresh Ingredients – All of the ingredients that have come with the recipes have been top notch. The meat/veggies have been fresh and really tasty. Absolutely no complaints there.

Portion Size – All of the ingredients have been perfectly measured out and make two nice-sized meals. Nothing goes to waste and we don’t have extra of something that will sit in the fridge, go bad and get tossed.

Cancel Anytime – Which we will be doing very soon. However, I will keep an eye out and use discount codes as I come across them as it would be fun to do Hello Fresh once in a while. Definitely not every week.

I know there are more pros than cons and I said in my opinion there are more cons than pros, but I just can’t past the price. To me, it’s just not worth spending that much money on.

However, if you live in the boonies, or you have a very busy schedule and don’t have a lot of time to plan your meals or shop for ingredients, this would be a great option.

I have to admit, though, I HATE to cook. And I mean – I. HATE. TO. COOK. I hate everything about it. I hate the time it takes to cook. I hate the fact that it literally takes you ten minutes to consume something that took you close to an hour to make. And I hate the clean up. I would rather grab something to eat and get it over with in the fraction of the time it takes you to make something from scratch.

Overall, it’s been a fun, and delicious, experiment. Again, Kevin and I have tried things we wouldn’t normally ever try and that’s always a plus in my (recipe) book.

Fiction Friday

It All Started With a Cough

“It started with a cough.

I don’t know where it came from but it was annoying, loud and croaky. I could control it at first, take a drink of water, suck on a throat lozenge, but I could feel it start to take hold in my lungs. It felt like a sea monster had a hold of my chest, it’s long, slimy tentacles wrapped around my body and slowly, slowly, squeezing the breath out of me.”

After about two days of this, my cough started to go away but I was having trouble taking a full breath and before long, I found myself panting like a dog just to try and fill my lungs and the simple act of walking across a room was too much and I had to sit down and recuperate before making another trek to the next room.”

I lost my sense of smell, taste, and I started feeling dizzy and disoriented, likely due to lack of oxygen. I had no idea what was happening to me but I’ve never experienced these types of symptoms before. I’m scared. I don’t know what sort of nasty cold this is but I feel different, I don’t feel myself. “

I know it sounds crazy, I feel crazy, but something, some darkness, is taking over my body. There are times I find myself doing something and not remembering how, or why, I’m doing it. There have been times I’ve been ACTIVELY trying to resist and yet, this darkness inside of me forces me to move my limbs and participate in simple activities against my will. My brain is screaming no, my body ignores me.”

That’s why I wanted to write this down. I don’t know where this is going, or why this is happening, but maybe someone will read this one day and learn from my experience. I know this sounds dramatic and I’ll probably laugh my fool head off when I read this back someday, but I feel like I’m dying. Not my body, my body doesn’t feel sick, but my mind, it’s slipping. I feel like I stepped off a cliff and I’m free falling, helplessly watching the world above me get smaller and smaller and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.”

Am I dying? I don’t want to die. I want to live! I want to graduate from college, travel, fall in love, have babies – is that too much to ask? Why is this happening to me? I feel like I’m writing a suicide note and if you’re reading this, I DON’T WANT TO DIE!”

I’m tired. I don’t want to write anymore. I want to sleep and I want to wake up and feel better. But I’m scared to sleep, what if I don’t wake up? Please God, let me wake up.”

Detective Gomez lowered the note and looked at the young girl on the bed. She was small and so very thin. He guessed the girl hadn’t felt much like eating at the end and if whatever sickness she had hadn’t kill her, malnutrition would have.

“How long has she been dead, Kingsley?” Gomez said, carefully placing the note in an evidence bag.

Doctor Kingsley paused in his activities and glanced up. “I would say, judging by the rigidity, about an hour. But I can’t be sure, I need to …” he continued to rummage in his bag. “Damn it, I forgot something in my van, I’ll be right back. Don’t touch anything.”

Gomez raised a brow and watched the man shuffle out of the room.

“An hour?” he mumbled to himself as he circled the girl’s body. She was laying in the center of the bed, her legs pulled up toward her belly, her arms over her head. Her long, dark hair was splayed around her. Her face was hidden.

“What did you die from? Talk to me,” he continued to mumble while studying the girl’s clothes. And why was there dried flowers, or weeds, whatever they were, he wasn’t a horticulturist, lying next to her. Did she inhale something that killed her?

She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, like something you would wear under a blazer, definitely something you would wear to work, and shorts. Did she get home from work and kick off her skirt or pants and change into shorts? Maybe go outside and pick the weeds?

Her skin was smooth, young, flawless. She couldn’t have been more than mid-twenties. The soles of her feet were slightly dirty as if she had indeed just come from outside.

He clasped his hands behind his back and stared at her. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he said quietly. He knew, if he stared at her body long enough, he would begin to pick up little things, little clues, as to what happened. He knew, from experience, that dead bodies spoke, you just had to pay attention.

Continue reading “It All Started With a Cough”