Month: March 2010
Dear So-and-So
Audio version of this blog post
Click the arrow to listen.
Dear Erratic Driver,
Look. I have a “thing” for stupid drivers. I do. I guess you might even call it an obsession, really, especially now that my teenage boys are on the brink of driving. But I can not excuse, or even tolerate, drivers like you.
Let me explain …
(And by the way, you better NOT be reading this while you’re driving or I will personally yank open that car door and kick your ass. Just sayin’).
I realize you’re from Arkansas. And at the risk of offending any other Arkansas driver out there that you might show this letter to, it’s sort of a “joke” with us Missourians that Arkansas people? CAN NOT DRIVE. I have no idea where this came from and perhaps it’s just a state-by-state thing, but people like you? Only CONFIRM the “joke.”
You are quite possibly THE worst driver I’ve ever had the misfortune to come across. And I’ve come across a lot in my old age, let me assure you.
Since I know you have no clue what I’m talking about, let me highlight your stupidity:
1. You do not stop at yield signs. You slow down, but you do not stop unless there is traffic coming. There wasn’t any traffic coming. How do I know this? Because I freaking looked. And when this yield sign is on a highway exit ramp? Seriously. DO NOT STOP. I nearly rear-ended you. And though it would have technically been my fault, it would have really been yours because you don’t slam on your brakes and come to a full stop at this type of intersection. Especially when you were going sort of fast to begin with.
2. What was up with the weaving? One minute you’re in the correct lane. The next minute you’re crowding the car next to you. The very next minute you’re hugging the shoulder. Were you drunk? Or were you on your cell phone? Judging by your head and hand movements? You were on the phone. Or maybe you had a drink or two and you wanted to share what it was like to be an idiot AND drunk, who knows. And even though you may not care? The other drivers around you care because you’re putting THEM at risk. And just because YOU don’t value YOUR life, I value mine. In fact, I’m quite fond of breathing, thank you very much.
3. Here’s a bit of advice – when you’re on the highway, it helps to maintain a consistent speed. One minute you were going 50, the next minute you were going 75. It’s not only annoying for the person following you, (that would be me, in case you were confused), it burns up a lot of gas. And though you may pimp yourself out for YOUR gas? I pay good old fashion money for mine and NEWS FLASH! Money is sort of tight right now thanks to a crappy economy because our (and I hesitate to call him MY president because I certainly didn’t vote for him) idiot president likes to spend it faster than it comes in.
But I digress.
4. And thanks. I nearly had a coronary when you realized that your exit was coming up, you were in the fast lane, no one would allow you to get over and you applied the brakes going 70 miles per hour, thereby forcing me to apply my brakes and freaking out the person behind me, who happened to be my husband, by the way. He was following me home from work.
Let me be clear. YOU DO NOT BRAKE ON THE HIGHWAY UNLESS IT’S AN EMERGENCY, not because you were too distracted (and dare I say too stupid to read the sign) and nearly missed your exit.
You must have realized you weren’t going to make it and that you were going to likely cause a several-car pile up behind you if you tried and I for one would like to thank you for at least having the presence of mind to continue onward to the next exit.
In conclusion, I would like to suggest that you take driving lessons and not be allowed to use your cell phone while driving because you’re a menace to yourself, to other drivers and quite possibly humanity, as well.
Oh. And I know this might come as a shock to you? But lady, you’re not the ONLY person out on the roads. We do not exist to accommodate your stupidity so wake the hell up, missy.
Sincerely,
A driver who would like to see her grandchildren some day.
Aloha Friday: Shop Till You Drop
Aloha! Kailani is the brain-child behind this fun Friday meme. If you feel inclined to answer my question, please post your answer in the comment section. Sound fun? Of course it does! Want to answer more questions? Hop over to An Island Life and play along!
(Please feel free to answer the question below, even if you’re not playing Aloha Friday!)
Let’s do an easy one this time:
My question:
If you could shop for free at one store which one would you choose?
My answer: Definitely Amazon. The thought of free books actually makes me hyperventilate. AND, then I could turn around and sell them on my Amazon book store – what a deal! 😀
You?
Supporting My Husband’s Habit
I’d like to think I’m a good wife. I mean, I cook, I clean, I laugh, I joke, I … erhm, do other stuff.
And I support my husband.
Even when he goes and does something crazy like buy a set of big-honkin’ lights like these puppies:
I can’t tell you how many times Kevin has apologized for buying these lights.
And I wish he wouldn’t.
Yes. They were expensive. Yes. He sold his dirt bike in order to pay for them. Yes. Our bills are caught up. Yes. We have food to eat.
We’re okay.
Besides, it was his money, his bike and this kind of thing? Makes him happy.
And if he’s happy, believe me, I’m happy.
I know what you’re thinking.
“But Karen. You’re a team. You’re partners. It’s not really his money, it’s your money, together.”
And yes, you would be correct. And Kevin certainly ran this purchase by me before he actually went ahead and went through with it. (Not like the time I came home from work only to find a HUGE canoe hanging from the garage ceiling. Oh yes, yes he did. I’ll never let you live THAT one down, honey. In fact …
Oh look! We still have it).
But here’s the thing. Kevin works really, really hard for his money. And he takes excellent care of us. He always puts our needs first, period. So when the man really wants something, and we can afford it, I’m not going to stand in his way.
He deserves to pamper himself.
At times. Let’s not get carried away here. 😀
But seriously. He never says a word when I get a package from Amazon and add yet more books to my 300 plus pile (which are now for sale in my Amazon book store, by the way).
He never says a word whenever I go out and spend $70 bucks to get my hair colored and cut. (Yes. Seventy. And that’s cheap! At least, according to some of you!)
He never says a word whenever I buy … well, come to think of it, I don’t buy a whole lot, actually. But you get my drift.
These lights? Make him happy. And he’s excited to use them the next time he plays with his band – Midnite Thunder. Music makes him happy. It relaxes him. It energizes him. It charges up his batteries because let’s face it, accounting is BORING. (Well, I’m assuming. It sounds boring. It looks boring. Actually, it looks like a foreign language to me, but we all know I’m an idiot so …)
I have supported him through numerous guitars. And various guitar accessories. I have physically supported him by being there when he plays and by being one of his groupies.
(Did I tell you guys about the time I coaxed him out on the dance floor with me, while he was playing?? His guitar was hooked up wirelessly and I couldn’t believe he actually got out on the dance floor and boogied down with me while playing. That was so fun).
I have even supported him through this crazy, expensive light fetish thing that he has going on right now. (Seriously. Did you COUNT how many lights there were? Eight. And they’re huge. As in blinding huge. And this is in addition to the two sets of lights he recently bought.
The man clearly has a fetish).
All this to say, I honestly don’t mind and though I love to tease him, the man deserves to buy his lights if he wants to.
Of course now, he owes me, but I won’t bring that up now. *grin*
Hi.
My name is Karen.
And I’m married to a musician.
Who likes lights.
And I’m okay with that.
Because I love him.
And I support him.
(As long as it doesn’t get too crazy. Like wanting a Corvette or … wait. What? You want a Corvette when you get another job?
Welllllll, I suppose that’s better than wanting trade me in for a younger woman. Don’t say it. Don’t even say it).
Thursday Thirteen: Upcoming Topics On Write From Karen
Because I keep meaning to write this stuff down and I need to post something for today, I’m going to kill two birds with one stone and do both.
It’s called multi-tasking … I think. *grin*
Here are thirteen upcoming articles that I’ve been wanting to write about for quite some time – maybe this will help organize the sludge of ideas that are swirling around in my head.
Exercise
1. Body expectations – Get Real
2. Think Before You Eat – It’s a Constant Compromise
3. Move It – Finding the exercise that works for you
4. Getting Into the Habit – Start Slow
5. Measure Inches, Not Pounds
6. Stop Being Lazy
Relationships
7. Should I Cut My Hair Short if my Husband Likes it Long?
8. Getting to Know Your Spouse All Over Again
9. You Want Your Relationship to Change? It Starts With You
10. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and Work on the Big Stuff
Parenting
11. Is College Really Necessary?
12. Talking Politics with the Kids
13. Allowing the Kids to Be Their Own People, and Not What We WANT Them to Be
Wow. I feel soooo much better after writing these out. They are topics that have been weighing heavily on my mind and I will do my best to post these articles as soon as I can.
Is there anything you would like me to talk about? Any issues you’d like my opinion on? Anything you’d like to know about me? I’ll do my best to try and give you my perspective but I do reserve the right to decline if the subject matter is too sensitive and/or might cause strife with my family.
Hey. I have to live with these people, cut me some slack. 😀
Kitchen Saga: New Cabinets and Appliances
Wordless Wednesday: Living Out of the Bathroom
I don’t know what is more gross – having to wash dishes out of my bathroom sink (kitchen is being remodeled, for those that don’t know), or the fact that I have my hairy, nasty brush right next to my clean dishes.
Either way – this is getting so old.
Stick around. There’s a video coming next.
(By the way, that spider-looking thing hanging off the wall? Yeah. That’s a plant thingie with about two inches of dust caked on it [another ick factor, actually] – and the first thing coming DOWN when we redo our bathrooms).
Write From Karen 