Tuesday Stuff

Random Tuesday: The Guilt Will Kill Me

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1 Kevin said the coolest thing to Dude over the weekend …

For those just catching up, we all went up to St. Louis this past weekend to watch Jazz’s band perform in the Band of America competition. After the preliminaries were over (our kids didn’t make finals *sad face*), me, Kevin and Dude went to Steak ‘N Shake to have some dinner.

I really enjoy having dinner one-on-one with the boys. We learn so much about them! Their personalities really open up and we see a side of them we don’t see very often. It’s really …. awesome (I was going to say, strange, but strange sounds so negative).

While we were eating, Kevin asked Dude to tell us about his Japanese presentation. He’s taking Japanese II this semester, if you didn’t know that. And he’s really enjoying it. He has a certain fascination with the Japanese culture. We (actually Kevin), tried to persuade Dude that Spanish would probably the most logical choice as far as languages go because HELLO! In case you haven’t heard? Spanish will soon be America’s primary language.

Anyway, Dude took Spanish in 8th grade and HATED it. As a result, he flunked the class. However, not so with his Japanese classes. Since he’s interested in them, he’s done really well in them.

So, this test. He stayed up quite late the night before working on it. When it comes right down to it, Dude has a deep desire to do well in school. I think it’s mainly because he sees how well Jazz does in band and he feels like his schoolwork is an area he can shine in. And he does. He’s a pretty good student. We haven’t really had to worry about Dude’s grades too much at this point.

Actually wait, Kevin didn’t ask him how he did on his presentation, Dude freely offered the information. I remember thinking, “Wow! Where did that come from and can we have more of it, please?”

He straightened in his seat, looked us square in the eye and said, “Mom, dad, I got an A on my Japanese presentation.”

*blinkblink* We were ecstatic! Part of that presentation was oral, so Kevin asked him to speak a little Japanese to us. Dude blushed a bit, but he did and he was great! He acted very proud of himself, as he should! Japanese is one of the hardest languages to learn!

We showered him with praise and he looked very pleased. It really warmed my heart because it was a really good parenting moment. Our whole table glowed with warmth and happiness – I’m sure our auras were spectacular. (If I believed in that sort of thing, which I don’t, but it’s fun to imagine).

Dude has gotten so much more relaxed about school. And I’m sure it’s because I’ve gotten so much more relaxed about school. I don’t hover anymore. I don’t breathe down his neck anymore and though we still have rules and he’s still expected to obey those rules, we’ve adjusted the rules a bit given his age and responsibility level.

I know he’s feeling more mature and responsible because today, after school? He told me that he failed his math test. I was shocked because he got a B on his last test. When I (calmly) asked him what happened, he told me that there was a section he wasn’t sure about and that was the section that did him in.

And a large portion of the rest of the class, too.

But his teacher is allowing the students to re-take one test per quarter and this is the test he plans on taking again. I will drop him off at 7:30 in the morning so he can take it before school. He’s volunteering to do this. I’m not making him, nor did I “suggest” he do this. It’s all him. This is especially impressive because Wednesdays are late day – which means the boys don’t have to report to class until 8:35 as opposed to 7:50. So he’s sacrificing his late morning to do the responsible thing.

I’m pretty sure my heart is close to bursting for this kid. πŸ˜€

Oh, one more thing about the Steak ‘N Shake dinner – Kevin told Dude, when Dude said he was too embarrassed to say something in Japanese:

“Dude, don’t you understand that you’re the most important thing to us? We’re VERY interested in everything you do. So come on, say something in Japanese.”

I wish you guys could have seen Dude’s face light up. That was exactly what he needed to hear and I think its doubly cool that Kevin said it and not me. Kevin is the best dad, he really is. He’s never afraid to tell the boys he loves them and he always puts them ahead of his own needs/wants.


2 Kevin and I had our meeting with the orthodontist (Dr. B) yesterday.

We talked, at length, about Jazz’s teeth as well as examined numerous pictures and an actual mold of his mouth. Jazz has several teeth that are twisted, meaning the fronts of his teeth are sideways instead of facing the front, like they’re supposed to. He also has some teeth that are not positioned correctly because his permanent teeth came in in FRONT of his baby teeth before the baby teeth came out.

In addition, his top and bottom teeth stick way out (think primate – that’s a terrible way to put it, but it’s an apt description), so those need to be pushed in and aligned as well.

Dr. B wants to extract his first bicuspids (top and bottom) in order to make some wiggle room to straighten out his teeth. He explained, at length, why he felt this was necessary. Though I understand where Dr. B is coming from, Kevin and I really feel like pulling those teeth are not necessary. Though Jazz does have some crowding, he still needs to lose two baby bicuspids and when those permanent bicuspids grow in, they will be smaller than the babys thereby allowing a little more room, but not much.

Also, Kevin wonders how much Jazz’s jaw will grow as he matures. He’s assuming that it will grow, right along with Jazz, so again, we just don’t feel like pulling those teeth are a viable option at this time.

So, we’re vetoing that route. Dr. B is cool with that and we’ll proceed with those teeth and see how it looks in about 18 months.

We looked at other patients who had their first bicuspids removed and quite honestly? Their profiles looked a little sunken in to us and we don’t want to mess with Jazz’s profile too much – he is who he is.

Besides, if Dr. B could manipulate Dude’s mouth without pulling teeth (and that kid had MAJOR crowding), then I’m quite confident he can do the same for Jazz who has a lot more room than Dude did!

I take Jazz back to get some more molds made October 28th – he’s get his spacers then. And on November 4th, I will take Jazz out of school and he’ll get his braces put on.

We’ve already discussed and have made arrangements with his band teacher for him not to return to school that day. I’m quite certain he will not feel like going back to school after getting them put on.

Jazz is not happy about this – at all. In fact, he wrote on his Facebook status:

Alright, I have grim news… November 4th is going to be a life changing day for me. November 4th is when I get my braces. So expect me to not smile after November 4th… :/

That sort of broke my heart, but honestly folks, Kevin and I talked at length about this, and we talked to Dr. B about this and he really does need help straightening his teeth out. He’s scheduled to have them on anywhere from 30 to 36 months depending on how easy his teeth are to manipulate. This, in essence, means he’ll have them on the rest of his high school years.

Yes, not happy at all. 😦

But you know, we’re thinking ahead here. Who wants to kiss a mouth full of bad teeth?

I’m just sayin’.


3 We’ve decided not to go to the Greater St. Louis Marching Band Festival this weekend.

Jazz brought the schedule home and oh my gosh, the kids won’t get home until 2:30 in the morning!!!

ACK!!

There is no way I want to drive home at three in the morning, stressed and worried we won’t make it back into town before Jazz does. No way. I get sleepy driving up in broad daylight, I KNOW I won’t stay awake driving in the dead of night.

I suggested to Jazz that we could just pick him up after the competition, spend the night in a hotel and drive back home on Sunday, but he really wants to ride the bus with his buddies and honestly, I can’t deny the kid this small enjoyment – he’s earned it.

So, we’re not going. BUT, I ordered a DVD in advance so at least we’ll get to watch how they did as well as their competitors in the comfort of our home and munching on popcorn. πŸ™‚

I HOPE the kids do better this week. It would be so cool if they could end the season with a few more trophies (remember they won 4th at Valhalla).

They have one more competition in Columbia Missouri next weekend and I’m pretty sure we won’t be going to that one, either. One, it’s nearly four hours away and two, the route up there is not NEARLY as nice as driving straight down I-44. But we’ll see. We haven’t gotten the schedule for that one yet, so … we’ll see.


4 I’m thinking I won’t go to the book sale this year.

*SIGH*

I WANT to, oh dear Lord do I want to. And I started to get into my car to go today, but then my eyes landed on the two tubs STUFFED full of books I haven’t read yet (from previous book sales) and I have a bookcase full of books I haven’t read and do I really NEED more books?

No.

But I might go to the sale tomorrow anyway. hehe

It’s a sickness, apparently.


5 Kevin spent last night crawling around in the attic. He put in recessed lighting in our kitchen and it looks really good. He also wants to put in some lights under our cabinets because it’s really dark under there, too.

We’ve been watching a ton of home design shows and getting ideas. All of these re-designs include recess lighting and they just look fabulous. So, Kevin took the bull by the horns and put in our lights. It already makes the kitchen look ten times better.

Or maybe that’s just because we CAN see the kitchen now. πŸ™‚

We’re slowly, but surely, working on remodeling the kitchen. Kevin is going to resurface the cabinets (WAY cheaper than replacing them), possibly resurface the countertops (though we’ll see about that), new appliances and of course, fresh paint and new tile. We’d like to have all of this done by next Thanksgiving, when it’s our turn to host Thanksgiving dinner again. We use Thanksgiving dinners as our milestone because it motivates us to get stuff done and gives us a deadline to work toward.

I’m very lucky to be married to such a handy man. πŸ™‚

Band

Our First Band of America Experience

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(You can see more of my tweets on my Twitter stream).

This weekend taught me two things:

1. Our community needs to get more excited about our high school marching band (why? Because I said so, that’s why. *grin*)

2. I’m WAY too emotionally invested in our high school marching band.

The name of the game this past weekend? Beat the clock. We managed to stay juuuuust ahead of schedule – and when I say juuuuust ahead, I mean juuuuust.

Let’s back up a bit:

Jazz had a marching band competition this past weekend in St. Louis – the Band of America competition, to be precise. And let me just say, if you think marching band is nothing more than simple marching and playing music …

You would be wrong. OH WOULD YOU BE WRONG.

But it’s okay, it’s a common misconception. Unless you have a kid in marching band and/or you’ve attended some of these competitions, you wouldn’t know any better.

Heck, I didn’t know any better UNTIL we attended the Valhalla competition a few weeks ago.

These competing bands not only get out there and march, they tell a story. They take three musical pieces and weave a visual representation that not only entertains, it’s artistic in nature.

I thought our show was good … oh my Lord, we’ve got a pretty plain show compared to many bands.

There are PROPS, and FANCY COSTUMES, and in some cases, even the band members get in on the drama. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch and so worth the money if you ever decide to go to an event.

Saturday morning, I woke Jazz up at 5:45 a.m. He needed to be at the school by 7:00 to help load up the buses. Getting Jazz up is not a problem – he’s a morning person and he just perks right up if you give him about five minutes to wake up.

He got up, ate breakfast and together, we went through the checklist of things he needed to take:

His uniform (of course)
Shoes
Black socks
Gauntlets (the fancy things he wears on his sleeves)
Gloves
Hat
Duffel bag with a change of clothes, toiletries and snacks.
Money
Cell phone

Check.

When we arrived at the school, there were four huge coach buses waiting. It was pretty impressive and you could FEEL the kids’ excitement. I dropped him off (with some trepidation – this would be his first overnight school trip and I was a little nervous), and raced back home to get ourselves ready.

Why? Because we were also going to Band of America. Are you kidding me? I’m INTO this stuff. I thoroughly enjoy watching these talented kids not only play some spectacular music, but watch the fabulous shows they put on WITH the music.

Me, Kevin and Dude got on the road about 9:30. We figured we were about two hours behind Jazz.

The weather was a bit overcast, but otherwise, a good day to travel. Our trip to St. Louis was uneventful (which is how I like our road trips to be, thank you very much.)

We reached St. Louis about 1:00 p.m. Our kids were scheduled to play at 2:30. We thought WE were cutting it close. As we were passing by several buses, my cell phone suddenly went off. Since I was driving, Kevin answered (because I practice what I preach – NO CELL PHONES WHILE DRIVING).

It was Jazz. And coincidentally, the buses we passed? WERE THEIRS!! And I thought WE were running late! Our guys had to unpack, set up in the practice area, practice and then perform all under an hour and a half?!

I freaked out a little for them.

We finally found a place to park and located the place to pick up our tickets. (I had purchased me and Kevin’s tickets ahead of time, but we still needed to buy Dude’s. We had to buy his at the ticket office so we could get the student discount – which was substantially cheaper than full price).

After we got out tickets, we went into the Edwards Jones’ Dome. (This is where the St. Louis Rams play, if you don’t know). We were dutifully impressed. The place was HUGE.

We found some seats (which wasn’t easy, the place was PACKED), and settled in. Since we had arrived so late, we hadn’t had time to grab something to eat and Kevin and Dude were ravenous, but it was so close to the time our kids were scheduled to play, that they stuck around long enough to watch them.

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These are our kids coming onto the field.

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Here they are setting up to begin.

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Here are some performance shots.

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I’ll be honest, it was the worst performance I’ve seen from them yet. They were out of alignment, they were not marching in sync and the moves were awkward and stilted. The Color Guard girls also messed up.

I knew in my heart, they probably wouldn’t make finals.

After their performance was over, Kevin and Dude went to grab something for lunch at the concession stands. Since our kids played so late in the day, there were only about five more bands scheduled before prelims were over.

The guys came back with a bratwurst, a slice of pizza, a pretzel for me, and two drinks. Guess how much all of that cost.

Twenty-five dollars!!!! And it was easily the WORST the pretzel I’ve had in my entire life. It tasted like stale plastic — which is an educated guess because of course, I’m not prone to routinely chewing on stale plastic.

The guys said their food was equally horrible and the drinks were terribly watered down. Lesson learned – we will not be eating at the dome anymore. Geez louise.

Prelims finished at 4:30 and as I predicted, our kids didn’t make finals. But since I knew the kids were scheduled to come back to watch the finals, I had gone ahead and purchased finals tickets. Though we were looking forward to watching the final bands perform, our hearts weren’t really into it.

Finals were scheduled to begin at 7:00, so we had plenty of time to grab some dinner (we ended up getting off on the wrong highway and found ourselves at a Steak N’ Shake and since we didn’t really have time to drive around inner St. Louis and get even more lost, we ate there), go back to our hotel, check in and move our stuff into our room.

We ended up staying at the Drury Inn next door to the Dome. Quite frankly, when Kevin suggested that particular hotel, I fought him on the idea. RIGHT next door to the dome? First of all, we’d be lucky to get a room (to my utter surprise, we did), but I predicted that there would be a bunch of kids from the bands staying there and it would be terribly noisy and not conducive to a good night’s sleep … but once again, I was wrong. Our hotel couldn’t have been more perfect. It was SO NICE not to have to get back into the car at midnight and drive to our hotel, we simply walked next door – it was awesome.

The room was also very nice and if you’ve ever stayed at Drury Inns, you know they have an AWESOME breakfast buffet. We will definitely be staying there for future competitions.

We arrived back at the dome in time to watch the final bands. These bands simply took my breath away. A few bands that stuck out:

  • One band paid tribute to Elvis
  • Another band didn’t have flashy props or Color Guard, but their formations were tricky and there were points where the band was RUNNING to get into perfect alignment, it was quite impressive.
  • Another band told the story of the Berlin Wall coming down. The band began their show by marching onto the field like the Hitler German army used to march. It was quite shocking, but made total sense given the rest of the show.
  • One band actually had band members lowering their instruments and singing. That was cool.
  • One band paid tribute to Japanese culture. Their Color Guard girls were dressed up in the traditional kimonos and used fans as their props – another spectacular show.
  • But the piΓ¨ce de rΓ©sistance of the evening was hands down, the Broken Arrow band in Oklahoma (in fact, a lot of the bands that made finals were from Oklahoma). First of all, the band is HUGE. I overheard one woman say they had 267 kids and that was only HALF of them. Overall, they have over 400 band members and have actually had to break their band up into two teams (I also researched the band when I got home, their kids actually audition to be in band. Any of the kids that are interested in playing in our band are allowed to do so. AND people in Broken Arrow make a bigger deal out of band than the rest of their sports – which personally I think is warranted. But I’m biased. πŸ™‚ )

    Secondly, the Color Guard girls donned long, black tails, yes tails (the piece was something to do with Raptors – though the tails looked like snake tails to me), and “lured” the band members into their trance. They seduced them to give up their instruments, in essence. I was a bit disturbed by the overall sexual connotations and the whole temptress theme, but I must admit, seeing all of those tails wiggling out on the field, it looked like a snake pit out there. And the band didn’t march off the field at the end of their performance, the sirens lured and teased them off the field by taking their instruments away from them. It was quite spectacular and not at all something you would expect to see at a marching competition. The music was also very seductive and eerie. Broken Arrow ended up winning the entire competition and I must say, rightly so. They were really something to watch.

In comparison, our kids’ show is pretty traditional and blah. But I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with them doing the kind of show the Broken Arrow band performed. Though the show was impressive, unique and interesting, it was dark and I didn’t like the underlying message behind the performance. I’m not sure that show was inspired by all things good, if you catch my drift.

I couldn’t believe the fan support for Broken Arrow. Nearly half the stadium was there to cheer them on! And judging by their props and costumes, they have a lot of monetary support from the community. I wish our community would put more energy into the band (our website doesn’t even mention them!!) as opposed to sports. No offense to the sports enthusiasts out there.

I do hope that our band director takes something away from this — I hope our show next year is a bit more … well, showy. We’re going to have to be in order to be serious contenders, I think.

Again, I’ll be honest. I was jealous of these other bands. They were really quite impressive and that makes me all the more determined to see our kids at least make the finals in the next three years that Jazz is in band. I really want them to bring home some trophies and the fact that I’m THAT into this sort of thing confuses me. I’m not usually quite this passionate about something, but I don’t know, these kids work so hard, I just really want them to leave a lasting impression. I’ll tell you what Jazz thought about the performance later.

Sixty-two bands performed and only 14 make it to finals. That means our kids only have a 22% chance of making finals. Those aren’t great odds, but not impossible. We’ll see if we can’t do a little better next year.

When it was time to announce the winners of the competition, they had all of the bands come out onto the field. It was quite something to see them all lined up, in various modes of dress and colors.

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Here they are coming out onto the field.

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Here are all the drum majors lined up and waiting to hear results.

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And here they are on the jumbo-trons. (Did I mention there were two jumbo-trons? They were fun to watch, too. They would zoom in on the kids and then pan out so you could see the formations – very cool).

As I mentioned, Broken Arrow won. They won quite a few awards, actually. Unfortunately, our kids left before the awards were presented so they didn’t see all of the bands out on the field. That was disappointing. When we showed these pictures to Jazz, he acted like he would have liked to have seen that.

We headed to back to Springfield at about 9:30 again the next morning. We were a bit stressed because I knew the kids were scheduled to take off for home at about 9:00 a.m. and we wanted to beat Jazz home, otherwise, we’d have to call a family member to come pick him up and keep him until we got home.

Coincidentally, the hotel they ended up staying at was right off I-44 (which is our route home), and as we passed the hotel, we noticed that the buses were still in the parking lot. Whew! We were ahead of them.

However, I noticed that my low tire light had come on, so we stopped to check them (all of them needed air – I love that low-tire indicator!) and get gas. We got back on the road and it wasn’t thirty minutes later that we noticed we were BEHIND Jazz’s buses.

What?! How did that happen?

At any rate, we soon passed them (we called Jazz to see if he could see us passing them – he didn’t see us) and once again, whew! We were ahead of the game.

I soon lost track of them and I assumed they were going to pull over and have some lunch on the way back. So, we got into Springfield at about 12:15 and went straight to Wendy’s to grab some lunch. We had just gotten our food and were pulling out of Wendy’s when my cell phone went off and again (because I’m setting an example to Dude here!), I asked Kevin to answer it.

It was Jazz – he was back in town!! So that meant we were literally fifteen minutes ahead of him – we couldn’t have cut it any closer if we tried!

So, I turned back around and we went through the drive-thru again to get Jazz something to eat since they did not stop for lunch.

We arrived at the school in time to see all of the kids getting off the buses and grabbing their gear.

I helped Jazz gather his stuff and made sure he took his instrument back into the school and secure it before we took off for home.

I still can’t believe we only beat him home by 15 minutes. (I was a little freaked out about that).

To my surprise, Jazz wasn’t that tired. He said he and the guys (he roomed with three of his buds), actually went to bed at 1:00 a.m. and were back up at 6:30, so they got about five hours of sleep. Jazz also said that he and his buddies pooled some of their money and left a tip and a note in their room thanking the management for allowing them to stay in their hotel.

I thought that was incredibly sweet and mature of them.

Jazz said he had a blast and though he was disappointed they didn’t make finals, he wasn’t surprised. He knew they had performed badly. In fact, he said that one of the tuba players actually fell, which none of us saw happen. He bent the tuba, too. *cringe* Actually, Kevin and I saw quite a few band members (from other bands, not from Jazz’s band), trip and fall down. I saw one person fall so heavy that she actually slid across the field. Poor thing.

When I asked Jazz why he thought they did so poorly he said that everyone was sort of freaked out by the venue. He said that the jumbo-trons were incredibly distracting and the field judges were so close to them they got nervous (the judges actually walked/ran into the middle of their formations. They had some sort of microphone strapped to their chests and were talking into them. I can see why this would be distracting!)

I also think that the fact that they got there so late and had to rush to get ready and rush through their practice threw their stride off, too. And Jazz also told me that a lot of the band this year are freshmen, which explains a lot, actually.

Anyway, it was a learning experience and the kids had a ball – that is all that really matters in the end.

The kids go back to the dome in St. Louis this Saturday for the Greater St. Louis festival. They are competing against a lot of the same bands (though not Broken Arrow, thank goodness), so it’ll be interesting to see how they do given they now know what to expect. I’m not sure if we’ll go or not – I’d like to, but another trip to St. Louis? Ugh, I don’t know.

In the meantime, I need to drop his uniform off at the cleaners today (it’s pretty dusty), and try and find some fabric glue so I can hem his pants a little better. I had been using safety pins, but it just looks tacky – I need a more professional-looking alternative. But it can’t be permanent because the uniforms are passed on from year to year so …

Thanks for sticking it out with me. I know this post is super long but I wanted to make sure I documented the experience – it’ll be fun to go back and read WHEN our kids win future competitions. (I’m very optimistic!)

random stuff

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got sick and the doctor said she might not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. β€œWhen we were to be married,” she said, ” my grandmother told me the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

β€œHoney,” he said, β€œthat explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

β€œOh,” she said, β€œthat’s the money I made from selling all those dolls.”

Abundant Life

Teaching: Truth Matters – Part Four

Every Sunday I provide videos and valuable links to the Truth or Tradition teachings. We’ve been following the Truth or Tradition teachings for many years now and they have truly blessed our family. We have found peace and happiness through our beliefs and we walk confidently for God. My hope, by passing on this information to you, is that what you find here, or on the Truth or Tradition website, will guide you to a better, more blessed and abundant life.

If you would like to read my views on religion and how we got started with the ministry, you can read this.

Let’s get started:

[This article is an edited transcription of the March 2006 Tape / CD of the Month, The Balance of Truth and Love: Valuing Right Doctrine and Right Relationships by John Schoenheit.]

God bless you and welcome to this Spirit & Truth Fellowship International monthly tape / CD. This month I will be talking about having right relationships. That is having relationships that are a blessing, having relationships with people in which friendliness and friendship is there and genuine love for each other occurs.

You would think that in Christianity this would be the world’s easiest thing. Something funny happens in Christianity. How do I know this? Well, I know this because it happens in me. I am talking on this monthly tape / CD about something in which I have wrestled with in the past and to some degree still do wrestle with it. Thankfully because I am aware of it, I am working hard on myself. I still see in myself, and in others, that what I consider to be truth (right doctrine) is very important to me. It is very important to me to be right in the way that I believe about God. If you know me, then you know that I have studied very hard in the Word of God to understand it. Once I think that I understand it then I am very confident of what I understand, and that is as it should be. I am confident of what I believe. I believe very differently from many ministers. For example, when I turn on the Christian T.V. and I hear ministers who are very different than I am, they are very confident too. Well, praise the Lord! I think that is as it should be. I think if we read the Word of God and come from the assumption that God wrote the Word so we could understand it and know it and Him, then we should be confident in what we believe. That is important. It is important that you understand as I go through this teaching that I am not talking about losing confidence in what we believe. What I am talking about is something I have seen in myself and in Christianity today. That is sometimes the β€œtruth” that I know, that I think I am sure of in God’s Word, creates in me an intolerance for other Christians and other people in general.

Now, is that not a paradox? What I have discovered here is sometimes the truth that I know, rather than being an engine that drives love in me and produces loving relationships actually drives me from relationships. In other words, because of the truth that I know, I look at other people that do not believe like I believe and I do not bring those people into my heart by truly loving them. For some reason I wrestled with this in my past and to some extent today. Is that not strange? I will say it again, sometimes the β€œtruth” I know rather than being the engine that produces loving relationships drives me from loving relationships.

I think all of us know that we are supposed to be loving. We know we are supposed to be kind to people. Why is it when we settle upon something that we believe and say, β€œThis is what I believe; this is the truth,” that it is so hard for us to be truly kind and compassionate and loving to others and have friends that do not believe like us? I think it has to do with how we hold our doctrine in our heart. We actually elevate our doctrine over love. We elevate our doctrine over our relationship with people. Well, guess who does not do that? How about God?

As I have been reflecting on this lately, I thought about how nobody has more truth than God. God is the truth. When He had Scripture written, every syllable was true; and yet, I know that God has worked with me when I did not believe the truth on a lot of things. I see when I talk to other ministers and other denominations, that the Lord is working through them and people are getting saved and blessed under their ministries. What is very apparent to me, and I hope to you, is that God is working in them just as He is working in me! What does that tell me? It tells me that God values the relationship more than the truth that they hold. Last week I was studying the Bible, and I saw something that changed a point of Scripture that I had believed for 35 years. This happened last week. We are changing all the time. We are getting better all the time! All of us think that we are learning more all the time; at least I hope that we are.

If what we know is holding us back from being in genuine-fulfilling friendship / relationship with people, then something is wrong with the way we are relating to our doctrine. We are putting our doctrine above the love of people. A way has to be there to do both.

Matthew 9:9 and 10
(9) As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. β€œFollow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
(10) While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and β€œsinners” came and ate with him and his disciples.

That is an amazing truth. Tax collectors and sinners came to eat with Jesus. Notice it does not say Jesus sent out the twelve to round up tax collectors and sinners. That is not what happened. All Jesus did was go to dinner. He went and called Matthew and had a dinner, and the tax collectors and sinners came. That tells me they were very comfortable with Jesus. They were comfortable being around him. Now, did he teach them things that were true? Certainly, Jesus did. Absolutely he did; then, why is it when I try to teach people things that are true, sometimes people run from me. What is the difference here? I think the difference has to be in what you believe in your heart about people.

For years, I kind of held the position that something was wrong with people if they did not believe the truth, or somehow they were less intelligent, or somehow they were less valuable. I am not even sure what I believed, but I know I thought they were not as good as I was. I thought they were not as valuable as I was. I was proud, and I elevated myself because I believed what was right, but I see that all over Christianity. So many Christians are out there that separate themselves from other Christians because what they believe is right. I do not see that in the life of Jesus Christ, and it breaks me.

We talk about being broken on the β€œRock of Jesus Christ.” Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a point of breaking. If I do not have sinners who want to be around me, then I am not being like Christ, because Jesus Christ had sinners who wanted to be around him. This happened throughout his whole ministry.

Matthew 11:16 and 17
(16) β€œTo what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:
(17) β€œβ€˜We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’

What is he talking about here? He is talking about people who are judging other people. People who are evaluating other people based upon what they believed and based upon their behavior. He said, β€œDo you know what the people of this generation are like. They are like children.” They said, β€œI played the flute, and you would not dance. We sang a dirge, and you would not mourn.” Let us translate that. β€œI taught the dead were dead, and you did not believe. I believe this, and you do not.”

We become dissatisfied with people that are not on the same page with us doctrinally. Maybe I should say, β€œI have been dissatisfied with people or have kept people at arms length that are not on the same page with me doctrinally.” That should not be happening.

Matthew 11:18 and 19
(18) John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, β€˜He has a demon.’
(19) The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, β€˜Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and β€œsinners.”’ But wisdom is proved right by her actions.”

What a great verse. What is the wisdom of God? How about love your neighbor as yourself. How about to love like Christ loved? We should love as Christ loved and not criticize each other for each other’s doctrine.

Now, does that mean I do not think doctrine is important? No, I do think that doctrine is important. In fact, I see the importance of fellowshipping with like-minded believers because when I study like-mindedness in the Word of God, I see that when like-minded believers are together that great power and great effort is there.

I understand the practical reality that you need to minister with people that believe like you do. Early on in my ministry an interesting circumstance occurred. Because of a mutual friend who was in the hospital, another pastor and I ended up in his hospital bedroom at the same time. We were both there to minister to him. This man was very sick and possibly going to die. The limits of the practicality of the other minister and I ministering together very quickly became apparent because I believed Satan caused the man’s sickness and we could pray and get the man delivered. God wanted the man delivered. Furthermore, I believed if the man did slip into death that he fell asleep and awaited the return. The other minister who walked into the room at the same time I did believed that God sent the sickness for a reason and he was there to help the man ferret out the reason that God would make him sick and if the man did die, he would go home to be with the Lord, which was okay too. It became apparent in a few minutes that the two of us could not minister together.

As I teach this teaching, I do not want you to hear me saying, β€œWell, John Schoenheit is saying we should disband our fellowship.” That is not what I am saying. I recognize that it is important to minister with like-minded believers and I believe we have a lot of truth. Is that being honest? Absolutely it is. Why do I believe that? I believe that because I have studied the Word for years, and I understand the medium of language in which the Bible is written. I also know that if you have turned on the T.V. and listened to ministers that believe very opposite things than I do, that they believe they have the truth, and they should. Why should they? They should because if you do not have faith in what you believe then how in the world are you going to expect God to bless your ministry?

Praise God for men and women of God who stand up and have faith in what they believe! Yet, at the same time, we have to hold it lightly. Like I said, just last week, I unlearned something I thought I knew for 35 years. Well, praise God for that! An interesting tight rope is there for the minister of God and for the Christian to be taught truth and believe it; and yet, they should not hold that truth above love in relationships.

Let me show you something out of Hebrews. I want to remind you about what we just read about the religious people during the time of Christ. They said, β€œWe piped unto you, and you did not dance. We sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.” The people of Christ’s time, like me, like our ministers today, and like so many Christians, criticized others. β€œWe did this, and you did not do that!” We criticize others when they do not conform to what we believe. That has just got to stop. It has to stop in me. It has to stop in others. I have got to be able to see people through Christ’s eyes and realize that the person is more important than the doctrine they hold. That is why Christ gives revelation across the board. He gives revelation to Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, Roman Catholics, and people with Spirit & Truth. He works with them and he blesses them. He overlooks the doctrinal problems that we all have. I am not going to stand here and say everything I believe is true. If I did not like people who did not believe like me, if I met myself five years ago, I would not like myself. Sure, I have changed, a lot.

We have got to love people from our hearts.

You can find the original article here.

If you have any questions, or would like to learn more about God’s wonderful message, please visit the Truth or Tradition website. You can also keep track of the ministry through their Facebook page, their YouTube Channel, or follow them on Twitter.

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More from Write From Karen

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I Am a Superior Wife

You know, I’m cool with this result. I’m a good wife, but I still have a little spunk.

I wouldn’t want to be totally boring and predictable. *wink*

I’d still hate to live back in that time period though. And that’s mainly because they were expected to look like they stepped out of a catalog every day. *shudder* Gads, the horror!

71

As a 1930s wife, I am
Superior

Take the test!

Scoring:

0-24 – Very Poor (Failure)
25-41 – Poor
42-58 – Average
59-75 – Superior
76+ – Very Superior

Your turn. What sort of husband/wife are you?

Thursday Stuff

Girl Talk Thursday (GTT): Crafts

Yes, this is late. Hush. Balloon boy distracted me, the little stinker.

You say crafts, and I actually shudder.

It’s not that I hate crafts, I don’t, in fact, I enjoy looking at them quite a bit, but to actually get in there and DO crafts?

Um, no.

And I’ve tried. There was a time period when I worked on crafts and put my work in my mother’s craft booths. My mom used to participate in Wal-Mart’s craft fair every year (they’ve since discontinued it), and I would put some of my piddly/pathetic stuff in to try and sell something.

I did worked mainly in plastic canvas – which, no offense to those of you out there that like plastic canvas, but I think is totally cheesy.

I really enjoy cross-stitching and it’s really relaxing to me, but I haven’t actually picked up any sort of cross-stitching project oh wow, five/six years?

The only reason I got into crafts at all was because of my mother. I was hoping to use that common ground to get closer to my mom and we certainly had some fun times. In fact, I remember making some Y2K bugs in 1999 when everyone was convinced that our digital age as we knew it was going to come crashing down around our ankles. (Remember the panic?!) They were made out of clay and the bugs hugged small pieces of old, smashed up motherboards within their wire arms and legs.

They sold like hot cakes in our craft booth that year. I wish I had a picture of those bugs. I probably do somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find it.

No, I’m afraid my mother is the real crafter in our family, though my sister is also really talented, especially in paints.

gingerbread

But that particular craft gene passed me by – I’m all thumbs when it comes to working with my hands.

The only thing I can do with my hands is type and even that is questionable at times.

I think it’s fascinating that people can create something out of nothing – that they can take random elements and somehow tie them together and make something beautiful and memorable.

MVC-014S

Me? I’m not that literal. I prefer to string a bunch of words together and weave an imaginary world.

I wish I were crafty in the literal sense. I’m afraid my level of craftiness comes in other forms.

And that’s not necessarily a good thing. 😐