Thursday Stuff

Girl Talk Thursday (GTT): Roommates

Today, we’re talking about roommates.

ME: I lived with three other girls for a short time period in my early twenties.

There was a black-haired woman, a blonde, a red head and me, the brunette.

The black-haired woman was the no-nonsense, smart one in our group. She also played referree a lot because when you have that many women under one roof, the amount of estrogen is bound to explode from time to time.

The red-haired woman was the good little Christian girl. And by that I mean, she was our voice of reason whenever the rest of us got out of hand.

Which was often.

The blond-haired woman was the party slut in our group. She had no problem sleeping with anything that possessed an ounce of testosterone. She lived to shock us and shock us, she did.

Then, there was me. I was often the hot head in the bunch. I went along with a lot of what the other girls wanted to do, but I was often the one who quit the activity first.

Together, we were quite intimidating. We all had different, and very strong personalities and we got into a lot of fights – girly fights, not knock down and drag ’em by the hair fights.

The red-haired woman got on my nerves a lot. Her holier than thou attitude was really annoying. But I butt heads mostly with the blond-haired woman. Her and I … never saw eye-to-eye on anything. Ever. And I suspect, now, that she was jealous of me.

We only lived together for one year before we had had enough. The black-haired woman and me moved out on our own – the blond-haired woman moved out and got pregnant (big shocker) and the red-haired woman moved back home with her parents.

In a lot of ways, the girls in the Sex in the City show reminds me of me and my three roommates. We had a lot of drama in our lives but unfortunately, we didn’t get along as well as the women in that show.

That was one experience I vowed never to repeat. It also reinforced why I don’t have a lot of women friends to this day — women totally get on my nerves.


ME AND KEVIN: Kevin and I lived together for two years before we got married.

I’ll wait for the collective gasps of horror to subside.

I’m not sure how his family felt about the arrangement, but my family was not happy. My parents thoroughly disapproved of the arrangement.

And quite frankly, I never gave it much thought. Kevin and I worked together at a bank and he was six months out of his divorce from his first wife and sort of needing a place to stay. He had been renting an apartment at the time, but he had just moved in and the complex was rough — he was often woken up by yelling and fighting neighbors.

He was on the verge of moving back home with his folks when we met. My own roommate (the black-haired woman had gotten married and moved out and my new roommate was a liar and a thief and I thoroughly disliked her), was getting ready to go into the military and had one foot on the threshold when Kevin moved in.

It was a strange arrangement at first. B continued to live there until her arrangements had been finalized and it was cramped and … awkward. But we settled into a comfortable routine after she left.

I think, looking back, living together was the best thing for us. It was a trial “marriage” if you will, though neither of discussed getting married for quite some time. Living with Kevin convinced me that I could put up with him, even at his worst. (Because you don’t truly know someone until you live with them, in my opinion).

We were compatible on so many levels. I could see myself living with him for the rest of my life.

After about 18 months of living together, the practical side of my personality took over and I gave the man an ultimatum – either we got married soon or we would go our separate ways.

That sounds cold, right? But here’s the thing – I’m a realist. And I know that if men can take the easy road, they will. Why would he want to get married when he had everything but the ring?

I wanted more. And I didn’t want to waste any more time on the man if he didn’t feel the same way.

Lucky for me, he felt the same way and proposed.

I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not I would encourage my boys to live with their girlfriends before marrying them. Kevin looks horrified when I suggest it, but when I point out how well it worked out for us, he has second thoughts.

I still haven’t decided if I should encourage them to live with their girlfriends when the time is right, but if it helps them pick a better mate in the long run, wouldn’t it be worth it?


THE BOYS: We talk about the future a lot. Well, I talk to the boys about their future a lot. I want them to know, in no uncertain terms, that they are more than welcome to continue to live in our house after they graduate provided they either

A. have a job and are actively saving for their own apartment


B. they have a job, and/or are going to school and saving for their own apartment.

I will not have 30 year old sons living at home playing video games all day.

Newp. It ain’t gonna happen. Again, I’m a realist.

This makes it sound like I’m being harsh, and I suppose I am, to a certain extent. Kevin and I are more than happy to help our sons start an independent life but we’re not going to support them, at least not financially.

And the boys know this.

Sometimes, when I “casually” remind them about our open invitation to live with us (with stipulations, of course), the boys will mention something about rooming together in their own apartment after they move out.

This really warms my heart. I can’t tell you how important it is to me to know they LIKE each other enough to even consider this as an option.

I hope it happens. I honestly do. Not only will it be good for them, but it’ll help me handle the fact that they are out in the cold, hard world, that they will be together and that they will look after each other.

I’m so blessed to have children who get along with each other, who consider each other best friends and who aren’t repulsed by the idea of sharing an apartment together when they become full-fledged, responsible adults.

I don’t know, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right, you know?

Thursday Stuff

Make it a Dirty Dozen, Please. Okay Fine, Make it Random

1. On an average, how often do you splurge and buy something for yourself?

Wellllll, funny you should ask.

First of all, I’m cheap. No big news there. But once in a while, I will get a wild hair up my … nose, and I will step outside my cheap box and actually want to buy something totally off-the-wall.

For example, my latest hair? Shoes.

I have developed a “thing” for ankle boots. *drool* Love them. And I have determined October and November are my favorite months because they are the PERFECT time to wear these yummy ankle boots.

I have two pairs right now. A clunky black pair and a pair that look like cowboy boots. LOVE THEM!

But I made the mistake of going to Shoe Carnival yesterday, just to see what they had (BIG MISTAKE!) and ran across these pretty ladies:


I tried them on.

Someone tie me down because I’m heading to heaven (wow, that couldn’t BE any more cheesy).

So, SO comfortable. I was actually salivating. (And just when you thought I couldn’t possibly make myself any more pathetic).

But the price tag brought me crashing back down to earth. Sixty-five dollars!? Are you INSANE!?!

I can’t spend that much on a pair of shoes – no matter HOW yummy. But I will confess, that is all I’ve been able to think about and now I’m thinking I MUST HAVE these for my birthday next month. The big challenge now, is to somehow convince my husband that I will die without them.

Yeah. He’s making funeral arrangements as we speak.

2.What is the last creative project you began/finished? Feel free to post a pic of it.

Creative? Me? Well, you’re looking at it. This blog is my latest creative project. This is about the extent of my creativity …..

Oh wait. That’s not entirely true. I just finished re-designing two headers for a few clients of mine. I suppose you could call them creative though I simply took elements of what they sent me and did a little something/something with them.

Want to see? Fine, twist my arm. πŸ˜€



*shrug* I don’t know, I like them. And I had a blast working on them.

My next BIG creative endeavor is, of course, writing my fifth novel … er, novella for National Novel Writing Month in November.

3. OK, Goldie Locks, do you consider your house too big, too little or juuuust right?

I love our house. I truly do. I think it’s the perfect size. We have a three bedroom, 1 1/2 bath ranch-style home and it’s on a big corner lot in an older, but classy, part of town. We are very comfortable here.

And the best part? It’s paid off. πŸ˜€

It is dated though. We (okay, KEVIN), are in the middle of planning a new kitchen. Kevin is going to recover our existing cabinets (do you guys KNOW how much new cabinets cost? Think $25,000!!!!!), possibly recover our existing counter tops (though that’s an experiment at this point), new appliances (because all of our appliances are at least 16 years old, if not older) and a new tile floor. We’d like to have all of this done by next Thanksgiving when it will be our turn to host Kevin’s family for Thanksgiving dinner.

We have no plans on ever moving from this house. Kevin talks about wanting a big brick house sometimes, but I only have to say one word to break him from that dangerous trance.


We plan on updating and improving our house over the next several years and truly, that’s more than good enough for me.

4. What is your favorite outdoor chore?

Wait. What? You lost me at “chore.”

Ugh. I’m not a big outdoorsy kind of person. I LIKE the outdoors, but to actually get my hands dirty?

Um. No. I’m a total priss when it comes to outdoor chores. I’ve never mowed the grass (*blush* I KNOW. That makes me sound like such a spoiled brat, doesn’t it? But yeah, I can not lie), and I will simply laugh in your face if you even suggest gardening or landscaping.

Kevin does all of that. I stick to the indoor stuff. I LIKE being outdoors, but to actually work outdoors? No thanks.

I suppose, if we were going to get technical, I really enjoy camping. And that’s a pretty big chore in itself. And yes, I’m splitting hairs.

5. If you knew that cigarette smoking was not bad for your health but would be a weight loss tool, would you use it? Why or why not?

Nope. I tend to turn my nose up at “quick fixes,” of any kind. I prefer to do things the old fashion way – watching what I eat and exercising. I’ve never been one to jump on any diet bandwagon (though I confess, I have tried diet pills), and I get very impatient with people who think there is a quick fix to dieting.

I also get VERY ANNOYED with people who b*tch about skinny, hot, beautiful women. Seriously. Do you realize how much time and effort it takes to first get that way and then maintain it?! Lazy people will never be thin because it takes a lot of work to BE skinny.

(Like I’m skinny – not. But I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m feeling comfortable in my own skin so I suppose I feel like I can make that generalization).

There is no magic formula. The only thing that truly works is watching your food intake and moving.

Period. (Sorry to burst your bubble).

6. On a road trip, would you rather drive or ride?

Definitely, absolutely, no question about it – drive. I get car sick really, really easy (think going cross town easy), so it just makes a more pleasurable trip if I drive.

Like next weekend? When we travel to St. Louis for a band competition, I’ll be driving. I just have to or I’ll get sick. I could, and do, take motion sickness pills, but they make me so drowsy and loopy … I just hate that feeling.

So, I drive.

7. What do you consider a trivial pursuit?

The small stuff. It’s taken me a long, long, loooooong time to chill out about things. I’m a controlling person (GASP! Shocked??) and if things didn’t go my way, I’d get bent out of shape.

I STILL get bent out of shape at times, but overall, I’m learning to pick my battles.

Like this whole “I refuse to cut my hair because I’m trying to hide from society and I know it makes mom crazy” issue? Yeah, I’m over it. I figure hey, we have pictorial documentation of their unruly hair. I’m confident they will look back on these pictures someday, shake their heads and think, “WHAT was I thinking?”

THAT realization alone vindicates me. πŸ˜€

8. How long do you watch a movie or read a book before giving up on it?

Not long. I have a pretty short fuse when it comes to my entertainment. I usually know in the first fifteen minutes of a movie or the first 50 pages of a book whether I’m going to continue watching/reading it.

For example: Crank 2. That has got to be one of the LAMEST movies I’ve seen in quite some time. It supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek version of action / thrillers, and I get that? But wow, it was really, really terrible. If you don’t mind completely lame, stupid humor and lots and LOTS of blood and boobs, then watch it, otherwise, pass.

And I can not believe people gave it a 6.6 / 10 rating on IMDB. Seriously? I’d give it a 1.5. Don’t waste your time. Trust me.

9. Is there a song that you really love but are embarrassed to admit because it’s not cool or it’s racy or because it’s by Hall and Oates?

Backstreet Boys.

I know. TOTALLY LAME!!! But wow, I love dancing to their songs. They are so catchy and easy to sing to. My boys are absolutely horrified whenever their songs come on my iPod (I listen to my iPod on a boombox thingie), but they’re peppy and …. I like them.


10. On a scale of 1-10 (10 = extremely) how spontaneous are you?

Probably a 3. I like to know what’s going on and I loathe surprises of any kind.

Just ask my guys.

11. Are you a food and/or beverage snob?

It drives my mom crazy whenever I ask for a bottle of water when we go out to eat.

And yes, I’d have to agree, I AM a water snob. We have a water cooler and we purchase distilled drinking water in 5 gallon jugs. I can not stand city water. It’s not that it’s BAD, at least, compared to a lot of cities (I’ve heard), but it just tastes so …. metallic to me. It seriously makes me gag. I can’t stand it.

And I don’t care what people say, I don’t LIKE drinking all of those minerals and crap they are required to use in order to sanitize it.

And coffee. I’m sort of a coffee snob, too. I use to drink Starbucks every day (until I figured out I was spending about $700 bucks a year! Ouch!), but now I drink brewed coffee in the mornings. I still don’t care for instant coffee, though Kevin and I went through Starbucks after lunch yesterday and they gave us a sample of their newest instant coffee and WOW! It was dee-lish and really packed a punch with the caffiene content. I have a feeling I’ll be drinking massive amounts of Starbucks instant coffee next month during NaNoWriMo.

12. Who/What are you trying to control in your life? (I hear people gulping and see them sweating in anticipation of how to answer this one.)

HAHAHA! This question amuses me.

I’m like the poster child for control. I have to control everything in my life.

And that includes everyBODY in my life, too.

That’s why I’ve never taken up smoking, or gotten hooked on drugs, or wish to take a flu vaccine because someone is telling me to take it … I don’t allow anyone or anything to control any aspect of my life.

I have a mind and I’m not afraid to use it. Of course, I didn’t say it was a GOOD mind, but still …