Oh, I need to write this down before I forget it happened … like next week.
Kevin and I went to lunch yesterday. Actually, we go to lunch every Wednesday … that’s not what I wanted to remember.
Though it’s nice to know I wrote that little tidbit down because years from now, when we’re old and sitting in our rockers and yelling at each other to be heard Kevin will say,
“Remember when we used to go to lunch together every Wednesday?”
And I’ll say, “Huh?”
And he’ll repeat his question, only a few octaves louder and I’ll cup my ear and yell, “WHAT?”
And then he’ll scream it a few more times and I’ll be all like, “Honey, we’ve been married for 50 plus years and even though I know what you’re thinking most of the time, I still haven’t mastered the art of reading lips so, SPEAK UP!”
But anyway …
We were leaving McAllister’s Deli (by the way, have you had their panini’s?! WOW. Good stuff) and we were in the parking lot, in my car, when we see this woman zig-zagging her way through the parked cars. We didn’t think anything of it and I kept right on talking.
Kevin stops me and nods toward my window.
“Uh, I think that lady wants to speak to you.”
I whip my head around and this nice-looking (as in nice, not as in gorgeous), is standing right outside my door giving me a hopeful and friendly smile.
I roll my window down and give her a questioning smile.
“Hi. I hate to bother you. But I was wondering if you could give me a ride to my house. I only live four blocks from here and I have an abscess on my foot and it’s killing me to walk on it.”
“Are you going to kill us?”
Was my first thought, but of course, I didn’t say that out loud.
Actually, my exact words were, “Oh, briwqutgcl bitlaiudf/?”
Yeah, I have no idea what that was supposed to be, either. I was shocked. I wasn’t sure what to do. I mean, the whole dangers of picking up strange people spiel ran through my head and yet, she really did look like she was in pain.
Or she was a very good actress.
I looked at Kevin. He looked at me. I looked back at the woman, gave her a hesitant smile and then looked back at Kevin while mouthing the words, “Should we?”
He nodded and I took a breath before pushing out the words, “Sure. Absolutely. Hop in.”
And then she shot me in the head and my spirit came back to life and now you’re reading the words of a ghost.
Not really. I unlocked the doors to my car and waited for her to climb into the back seat.
I took off and she started in with the sweetness.
“Oh. Thank you both so much. You looked like such a nice couple and I really need to get home. I’m sure glad I wasn’t walking my dog, I’m not sure what I would have done!”
And I’m thinking, “I’m not sure what you would have done, either.” Because let’s be honest, you know my feelings about dogs and in my car?! Ugh.
Okay, fine. I’m lying. I would totally give her and her dog a lift home.
We all awkwardly laughed and she gave me instructions to her house. Which really was only four blocks from the restaurant.
So, I pulled over, she got out and that was the end of the story.
Sort of anti-climatic, wasn’t it.
But my question to you is: would YOU have done the same thing?