For those that don’t know, Dude is driving now. He got his permit back in March and his driving skills have gone from newbie, to excellent to downright scary in that time span.
He started out pretty nervous, but then worked his way to confident until we were nearly side swiped a few weeks back when Dude failed to yield to an oncoming car. We were turning right and Dude didn’t see there was a car coming. When I cautioned him about the car and told him to stop, he got flustered and hit the accelerator instead of the brake. And when my “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!” got frantic, he still continued forward.
Luckily, the car had plenty of time to react and easily switched lanes to avoid us. They did give us an angry honk, though.
I’ve since “coached” him on the importance of listening to me when I say STOP — especially in that tone of panicked voice. Defy me all you want to but, bud, when I say STOP, there’s usually a very good reason why I’m yelling it. Stop next time.
He’s been downright scared out of his mind since that incident.
However, we have trudged forward. After all, it would be unrealistic of me to tell the boy that that kind of close call will never happen again — of course it will. We’ve all had close calls in our driving lives, it’s a fact of driving. Sometimes you make a mistake or misjudge, sometimes (okay, MOST times), other people do something stupid. And when these near misses happen, he will just have to trust God to protect him. What else can he do?
We’re back to taking short drives to close places; in essence, we’re back to square one. Part of the reason that whole side-swiping thing happened to begin with was because I was distracting him by talking to him.
I’ve since learned to keep my big trap shut.
I’ve apologized to Dude for my part in the near accident and we have both agreed to just take things a little slower this go-around. I will try not to push, he will try not to kill us. 😀
And part of our going slow process is driving to a nearby fast food restaurant and ordering quickie meals.
The first time I asked Dude to drive to a restaurant (Wendy’s), I thought the boy was going to hyperventilate.
Scratch that — he DID hyperventilate.
His eyes got glassy and he nearly drove past the speaker before realizing that he had to stop.
His problem? He was actually going to have to talk to a real live person.
OH! THE HORRORS!
But seriously. Dude is a quiet, shy, introverted kid and he doesn’t speak much to us, his family, let alone strangers. And let alone, voluntarily. So the thought of having to actually speak to someone really threw him in a panic.
I was amused and just a tad impatient with his reaction. I knew he would react that way, I wasn’t surprised, but I guess a small part of me had been hoping that he wouldn’t. That he would just throw his shoulders back, hold his head up high and exude confidence.
I gently coached him on what to say. And through several gasps for air and broken English, he gave the drive-thru attendant our order.
After we had gotten our order and were pulling away, I said, “See? You talked to someone and you’re still alive. People truly don’t bite.”
He laughed me off and he began to relax. It was as if we had broken through some sort of mental barrier at that point. I then told him (after we got home, not during the drive), that when it was time for him to get a job, he would HAVE to talk to people. Especially if he landed his dream job (at this moment, anyway) — working at Game Stop. He would be required to not only talk to people, but he would be asked lots of questions about the various games and to give them advice.
I told him, that sometimes, you have to force yourself to step outside your self-imposed personality box and BE another person. I remember having to do that a lot when I started working. My problem wasn’t being too shy, my problem was being too short with people. I had to teach myself to be patient with people.
I had no idea if what I preached told him had sunk in or not, but now I’m beginning to think that some of it sunk in.
Yesterday, Dude and I drove to Burger King to grab some lunch. He didn’t want to at first mainly because A. he doesn’t like to drive, it scares him (see above) and B. because he was meeting a friend online so this friend could teach him about PHP (a computer language and *SQUEE* — finally!! A serious interest in something!! *ahem* I have to downplay my enthusiasm though because if Dude knows I’m excited about him taking the initiative on something serious he’ll totally lose interest) and didn’t have that much time until they were scheduled to hook up.
But I sweet talked him into going (okay fine, his stomach won), and he drove us to Burger King.
When it was our turn to order, he did so with a strong, confident voice and he was articulate enough that the guy understood what he said.
When the Burger King employee said, “Please pull forward, sir,” I laughed.
SIR?!
It was a proud momma moment. 🙂
Write From Karen 