Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Words You’ll Never Find in the Dictionary

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Thirteen Words You’ll Never Find in the Dictionary
These words came from the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary

1. sinspire
(v): to compel one to be creatively wicked

2. sprog
(v): to go faster than a jog but slower than a sprint

3. furgle
(v): to feel in a pocket or purse for a small object such as a coin or key

4. hoyle
(n): the point at which a genius transcends our reality and becomes a madman

5. onionate
(v): to overwhelm with post-dining breath

6. smushables
(n): the groceries that must be packed at the top of the bag or separately to avoid being mangled by the time you get home

7. pregreening
(v): the tendency to creep forward while waiting for a red light to change

8. wurfing
(v): the act of surfing the Internet at work and rationalizing that it is for work purposes

9. wibble
(n): a trembling of the lower lip just shy of actually crying

10. knitpicker
(n): a person who selects your knitted sweaters. Beware the Christmas knitpicker or the put-the-family-in-the-same-sweater-for-the-photo knitpicker.

11. ESPN-onage
(n): secretly viewing an all-sports network when your wife leaves the room

12. polkadodge
(n): the pseudo dance when two people attempt to pass each other, each moving in the same direction

13. whinese
(n): a language spoken by children or spouses on long road trips

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Things that Begin with C

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Thirteen “C” Words that Describe my Life

Scrolling through my life, one letter at a time.

1. Cautious –
Considering I’m constantly thinking ahead and planning everything down to the last “what if,” I’d say I’m a pretty cautious person. I don’t like to take risks and I like to know what’s going to happen so I can mentally prepare myself for the outcome. I’m physically cautious but I won’t walk on eggshells. I’m cautious with people – I get very uncomfortable if anyone gets too close.

2. Catty –
Even though we make fun of females and all of their hormones, it is indeed a real issue we have to deal with on a monthly basis. And trust me when I say, I can be one of the cattiest, and nastiest people you’ve ever known when my hormones start raging. However, no matter how crummy I’m feeling, I will never go out of my way to be catty to people. I wasn’t brought up to treat people that way. However, if you provoke me, all bets are off. ๐Ÿ˜‰

3. Censor –
Unfortunately, I have a sailor mouth. And if it wasn’t for my family being my physical censor, there’s no telling how bad it might get. I find myself going through spurts where all I do is run my mouth and it’s embarrassing when my kids are the ones telling me to clean it up and “stop cussing mom.” *blush* Aside from my mouth, I don’t believe in censoring ourselves – we have earned the right to think for ourselves and the moment we stop exercising that right and allow people/government to censor our lives, we’ll lose control of those freedoms.

4. Challenge –
I like challenges. I like tackling challenges. As long as I don’t have people breathing down my neck or any sort of deadline, I love trying to figure out problems through trial and error. I view life as a constant challenge that must be tamed and enjoyed.

5. Charismatic –
I’ve been told I’m charismatic and I suppose, on some level I can be. Though I’m not a big people person, I can be what someone wants me to be pretty easily. I’ve always been a take charge sort of personality and haven’t been, nor will ever be, happy to simply follow someone. I would be one of those annoying people who challenge everything. (See? That challenge word again).

6. Cheap –
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, then you KNOW the answer to this one. There is hardly a blog entry that doesn’t include the word cheap somewhere. I believe in stretching your dollar as far as it will possibly go and will forego a lot of creature comforts if I think there’s a better deal out there or if it would be more prudent to put that money into some sort of moneymaking account. As a result of this cheap gene, we are debt free (this includes our house though we did just finance my new Vibe. But we’ll tighten our belts and pay it off early simply because, that’s the type of people we are).

7. Choice –
I believe everyone has a choice in every situation in life. Sometimes the choices are easy, sometimes they are incredibly hard, sometimes they are consciously made, sometimes they are unconsciously made, but everything comes down to choice. There’s no way we can know if we’re making the right choices, all we can do is make the best of the choices we make. Choices are important and can be incredibly hard, but it really all boils down to having the courage to make that choice.

8. Christian –
I’m a Christian and proud of it. I was saved in 1977 and I’m absolutely sure I’ll be one of the people Christ takes back with him when he comes back for us. There is no doubt in my mind that I will have eternal life. I don’t belong to any religion; I am a child of God and have devoted my life, and the lives of my family, to studying God’s word and living the abundant life.

9. Clever –
I am not a smart person. I’ve never been that great of a student and any good grades I’ve received in my academic career have been through a lot of sweat and tears. I do have a lot of common sense though and I suppose that can make me appear clever at times. But seriously? I’m an airhead and an idiot. There are times I can’t believe I’ve opened my mouth and said some of the stupid things I’ve said.

10. Coffee –
A must have. I’ve grown to like coffee. I’ve grown to rely on coffee. I drink a cup every morning while I go through my morning computer routine and I alternate days I drink coffee in the afternoons. I have to, I get hooked and then get those terrible caffeine withdrawal headaches when I cut back. If it werenโ€™t for those headaches, I’d drink coffee all day, every day.

11. Conservative –
Though I hesitate to label myself as a Republican (for I don’t agree with everything they stand for and actually agree with some of the things the Democrats stand for), I would say I’m a conservative soul. As mentioned, I believe in the bible, don’t agree with homosexuality, believe woman should have the right to choose what to do with their bodies and believe people who commit murder deserve the death penalty. I believe children should be spanked (note I said spanked, not beaten), and think organized religion is more interested in power and money as opposed to educating their congregation. I believe people should work for what they want and not expect the government to hand them things for free. Are there any more politically incorrect issues I can address? ๐Ÿ™‚

12. Confrontational –
See number 11.

13. Cynical –
I am a very cynical person. I tend to be sarcastic in humorous and sneaky ways so that people aren’t quite sure if I’m being serious or just pulling their legs. I like to keep people guessing because the minute people “get” me is the minute I become boring, and bored. ๐Ÿ˜€

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Moments in Time

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Thirteen recent moments from my life:

1. MK lost his first molar at school Tuesday.

2. It happened at lunch, while he was eating a sticky fruit roll-up.

3. And it happened in front of the girl he has had a crush on for the past four years.

4. MK was NOT a happy camper.

5. Dinner Tuesday night, MK suddenly stopped eating his frito pie.

6. He had a strange expression on his face.

7. He lost an eye tooth at the dinner table.

8. It was a two-for-one sale for the tooth fairy Tuesday night.

9. According to MK’s dental x-rays, he has about eight more baby teeth on the verge of falling out – soon.

10. The tooth fairy is going to have to apply for welfare before this is over.

11. MK’s top-left eye tooth is growing OVER his baby eye tooth.

12. The baby eye tooth is not loose – at all.

13. I see another trip to the dentist in our future – very soon.

*SIGH*

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – What If #2

Thirteen Interesting “What If” Situations – How Would YOU Respond?

Please feel free to give your opinion on these situations even if you’re not playing Thursday Thirteen. There are no right or wrong answers here – it’s a question of scruples and what would you do?

null 1. Your boss is impressed by employees who work extra-long hours. Do you stay late doing unnecessary jobs just to score points with your boss?

My answer: Then my boss would be really impressed with me then because I’m the type of person who puts in extra hours anyway. Why? Because I have a strong work ethic and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing a half-ass job or not giving my best. So yes, I’d stay late, but not to earn brownie points with my boss, but because that’s just how I roll. If it wasn’t necessary, then I wouldn’t stay late. If I’m doing my job, and doing it well, then my boss would recognize my efforts WITHOUT resorting to brown-nosing tactics.

null 2. You’re a veteran of the armed services. Your son is a pacifist. He asks you to support his petition as a conscientious objector by writing a letter backing up his claim. Do you?

My answer: No. My son has every right to think and act for himself. If he feels strongly about this issue, then I would respect that. But I wouldn’t compromise my own beliefs in order to placate my son. I would simply explain how I felt, thank him for asking me and then politely refuse based on my differing opinion. Just because he’s my offspring doesn’t mean we have to see eye-to-eye on everything.

null 3. You are a doctor. Driving home, you see an accident. People are seriously injured. You’re not covered for malpractice in such cases. Do you stop to provide care?

My answer: I might hesitate because I know how sue-happy people are, but I’m fairly certain my conscious would not allow me to simply walk away and not do anything. Not when I have a moral obligation and the knowledge to help the injured. Though I could understand why someone would walk away, I think you would have to be pretty cold-hearted to do so.

null 4. One of your professors is incompetent. Some classmates have prepared a petition asking for his replacement. Do you sign it?

My answer: No. I would go through the proper channels first (i.e. the head of the department) and file a formal complaint first. I’m assuming after that point, the department would investigate the professor and perhaps put him/her on probation depending on what they found. But going through the proper channels, though sometimes frustrating and time-consuming, is nearly always the right course of action in a situation like this.

null 5. Your 20th-year high school reunion is next week. You want to see old friends, but you’re 30 pounds overweight and you really look your age. Would you attend?

My answer: This one is a hard one for me because I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. I have an issue with my weight; I’ve always been painfully aware of my weight so I have to say, I wouldn’t be 30 pounds overweight to begin with. I’m simply too stubborn to allow that to happen. As far as looking my age, well, other than plastic surgery (which is never an option with me), I’d just have to deal with it – what else can you do? But this is a what-if situation so I’ll play along. I think it depends on the “friends.” Were they good friends or simply people I hung out with but didn’t really belong with? If they were good friends, I’d probably go simply because they would most likely accept me, warts and all. If they weren’t that great of friends to begin with, I most likely wouldn’t go because I’d feel intimidated.

null 6. You’re a high school football coach. In the first half of the game, the opposing team hits your players after the whistle is blown. No penalty is called. Do you instruct your players to use the same tactics in the second half of the game?

My answer: I’d be tempted to because if I’m a coach that would mean I cared about the kids as if they were my own. And we all know how defensive we get when other people try to harm our children – the whole momma bear syndrome. However, what sort of lesson would I be teaching those kids? That it’s okay to resort to underhanded tactics when the going gets tough? No, I’d simply alert the referee what was going on and keep an eagle eye on future plays. This would be a good lesson to teach the kids that life is not fair sometimes and that’s okay, you have to roll with the punches sometimes. But it’s NOT okay to just give up and allow others to take advantage of us – we’d get in there and fight to the death and by the rules.

null 7. While friends are away on vacation, you have promised to feed their cats each day. It has become inconvenient for you to feed them daily. Do you put out large food portions and come every third or fourth day instead?

My answer: So I’m inconvenienced – big deal. Life is full of inconveniences and the bottom line is I made a promise to my friends so I will keep that promise. IF the opportunity presented itself and I had a chance to speak to my friends, I’d ask them if it was okay if I went over and fed them every other day – just for time’s sake if nothing else. But if my friends didn’t feel comfortable with that arrangement, then I would go everyday. They’re my friends; I wouldn’t want them to be stressed on their vacation because they were worried about their pets. I abhor being the cause of anyone’s stress.

null 8. A friend borrows $100 from you. Several months pass and the debt is not repaid. Do you ask your friend for the money?

My answer: Hell yes I’d ask! I’d start off the process by joking around. And if my friend didn’t get the hint, then I’d get serious. “Dude, you think I pull bills from my armpits? Pay up.”

null 9. You make a generous pledge in a charity fund-raising drive. Later, you have unexpected expenses. Do you honor your pledge?

My answer: Oooh, tough one. Well first of all, I would never pledge more than I could realistically afford. I’m boring that way. However, if something came up and I couldn’t afford to give up the money, I’d pay what I could and keep paying in installments until my pledge amount had been satisfied. Hey, if you can’t put your money where your mouth is, then keep your mouth shut. That’s my motto. *grin* I wonder how often people pledge and then don’t pay up?

null 10. Your company decides to initiate a voluntary drug-testing program for its employees. Do you support it?

My answer: Absolutely, positively yes. Drugs do not belong in the work place. People who come to work high/drunk put everyone around them at risk. Go home and sleep it off – better yet, seek help.

null 11. Your boss demands that you fire a subordinate. You don’t think that the dismissal is justified. Do you put your own job on the line and refuse?

My answer: I would hope it wouldn’t come to that. If I didn’t agree with the decision, I’d talk to my boss about it. Perhaps there are issues I’m unaware of or perhaps my boss is unaware of circumstances that might affect this person’s job performance. But the bottom line? It’s my boss’ decision – I’d have to abide by his/her wishes in the end, especially if my paycheck went to feed my family.

null 12. A fellow worker is injured in an accident on the job. You’re a witness and can give testimony that is damaging to your company. Do you come forward with the information?

My answer: Most likely, yes. If a co-worker was injured and it was the company’s fault, then most likely whatever it was that injured the worker would need to be addressed so other workers wouldn’t get hurt. If I didn’t say something, and more people were injured, I’d never forgive myself.

null 13. While visiting your hometown, you casually meet your old high school sweetheart. You have lunch together. Do you tell your spouse?

My answer: Oh wow, another toughie. My first reaction is no. But why? I mean, we’re just meeting for lunch, nothing is happening, it’s all quite innocent – so why the hesitation? Probably because I’m not sure I would want to know if he met an ex-girlfriend (or wife, yes, he’s been married before). It’s not that I don’t trust him, but I simply wouldn’t want to know because then I would agonize over what they talked about, or any old emotions they rehashed, you know?

However, I trust my husband and I hope he trusts me, so I would probably tell him just so there wasn’t any possibility of him finding out from a third party. However, I would set the stage, so to speak, and choose my time wisely.

Sometimes, timing is everything. ๐Ÿ˜€
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Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Question and Answers #1

I thought I would take this opportunity to answer some questions from my Monday Morning Meme. Don’t forget to check back Sunday afternoon for fresh questions!

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1. Have you ever played hooky (from school or work)? If so, what excuse did you use to get out of school/work? What did you do instead of going to school/work? How often do you play hooky? If youโ€™ve never played hooky, why not? What one thing HAS to happen before you would consider playing hooky (again)? Has your significant other every played hooky? If so, tell us about it. If not, why not? Has anyone you known ever gotten caught playing hooky?

When I had jobs outside of the home, I showed up everyday I was supposed to. I think there might have been ONE time (possibly two) when I was a manager at Wendy’s that I called in sick and really wasn’t. However, when I found out how much of an inconvenience it had turned out to be for my replacment, I felt so guilty that I never did it again.

When I worked at Wal-Mart, I was trapped inside the cash office – which was a windowless office with video cameras for eight hours. And when I was working by myself, there wasn’t anyone to take my place – I was it, baby. I remember one time being so sick that I threw up in a Wal-Mart bag, walked the bag to the restroom, threw it away and worked the rest of my shift. I felt better after throwing up but … well, I couldn’t help but be mortified by the fact that my being sick was most likely caught on camera.

I can’t decide which is worse – throwing up in a Wal-Mart bag or doing it on tape.

Now the husband? Will most likely be one of those people who drop dead at work because he goes to work REGARDLESS of how he feels – always. I admire his determination and loyalty but geez, sometimes you just have to give yourself a break and stay home and rest, you know?

2. If you could be guaranteed an honest answer to three questions, what questions would you ask, and who would you ask them of?

A. I’d ask a presidential candidate – Do you REALLY think you can change our country for the better? (And of course, I’d have someone taping the encounter so we could all over-analyze his/her answer).

B. I’d ask God – Will I ever win the lottery? (Mainly because if I was ever talking to God, I would be so flustered because it’s GOD we’re talking about here, that I would totally screw it up and ask something lame like this. *grin*)

C. I’d ask my husband – Why do you love me? (Because I seriously want to know why he puts up with me).

3. If you could give a single piece of advice to the film industry in Hollywood, what would you say? If you were a powerful film producer, what sorts of films would you produce? Why?

Dude, seriously, choose your scripts more carefully. Most movies nowadays are so LAME. I’d produce movies that actually had PLOTS and decent CHARACTERS and then I’d make sure that the actors chosen for the job could, you know, actually DO the job.

4. What is your blog about? How long have you been blogging? Why did you begin blogging? Is it the same reason that you continue to blog today? How has your blog changed over the time you’ve had it? In six words, sum up your blog.

My blog is about my life. Wow, what a boring answer. But it’s true. I blog to journal my life, my thoughts and what I had for breakfast every day – oh wait, I don’t eat breakfast. I blog mainly because I have a terrible memory and it helps me to recall my past (that’s such a sad excuse, but its true). I can honestly say that my blogging has changed in that I no longer blog to try and gain readers/hits. I mean readers and hits are great, wonderful in fact, but I think when you start blogging largely to gain readers, you lose a bit of yourself in the process. And I don’t want to do that. So now, I’m only trying to post substantial and interesting (though that’s debatable) things about me and my thoughts.

I’ve been blogging since January 1st, 2005. I started on Blogger, discovered WordPress, moved to my own self-hosted site in the summer of 2005 and only recently (May of this year), moved my blog to wordpress.com because I was tired of dealing with all of the bugs and CPU drainage on my web host.

I do not plan on moving again – ever. I LOVE wordpress.com. Booyah!

5. When you go for a haircut, do you do something drastic? Or are you more of a โ€˜just a trimโ€™ sort of person? Do you color your hair? If so, how often? Tell us about your best, and worst, hairstyle. What sort of hairstyle do you think looks good on you now?

A trim, mainly. My hair is pretty long now, just past my shoulder blades and though I like it long, and I think I look better with long hair, it drives me crazy because I keep finding long hairs stuck to my shirt and I HATE that. I plan on going in the day after Labor Day and having it colored, when I do, I think I’m going to have about two inches cut off simply because it’s driving me nuts.

I color my hair about every three months. I go in for a bang trim about every six weeks. I’m pretty low maintenance. ๐Ÿ˜‰

6. If you only had enough time each day to read one section of the newspaper, which section would you read? Why this particular section?

I don’t read the paper – I mean why? When the same information PLUS some is on the Internet. But if I did, then it would definitely be the funnies. Why? Because life’s too short not to laugh, that’s why. Laugh every day. That’s an order.

7. What does the hand-soap in your bathroom smell of? What color are your bathroom walls? What color are your guest towels? What sort of decor, or theme, do you have in your bathroom? (Post a picture if you dare!)

We don’t have hand soap in our bathroom (unless we have guests over). I know, that sounds gross, doesn’t it. We usually walk to the kitchen and wash our hands. Our bathroom walls are a mushroom color. My mom HATES it, my mother-in-law loves it (they have very different tastes). Me? Eh, I’m not too crazy about it but I can live with it until we paint again. Our overall theme is tropical. We have palm tree pictures, a huge basket with palm fronds and other crap (can you tell I’m not big into home decor?) and our towels are a tannish/brown and tan colors. Oh, we also have a bamboo vase with bamboo in one corner of the bathroom. Here’s a picture if you’re interested.

8. What is the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Where were you? How much did you spend? Do you use vending machines very often?

Oh wow, I have no idea. It was probably at Wal-Mart to buy GD some soda. There’s this new “hot” thing going around with the kids here where they think they have some magic code they can punch into a soda machine and it supposedly by-passes the whole put your coins here thing and they can get free soda. Though the code definitely does something (judging by the weird message that comes up), he’s yet to get a free soda.

When I worked at Wal-Mart, the break room had several vending machines and I would stuff my face with chips and pastries. Hence the reason I was about twenty pounds heavier when I worked at Wal-Mart – it was too tempting NOT to.

9. What are your children doing right now? If you don’t have children, what is your significant other/roommate/friend, etc. doing right now?

Well, right now it’s 7:02 a.m. and the boys are dressed and ready for school and are killing time – MK is on his computer, GD is playing Mario Kart Racing. The husband just stepped into the shower and I’m thinking I need to stop this meme and make the boys lunch or we’re going to be late.

Back in a few …

10. Have you ever counted up all the pills and/or vitamin capsules that you take every day? How many are there? What do you take on a daily basis? Do you give your children vitamins? If so, what kind?

I do not take any prescription pills, nor do I ever intend to take prescription pills (unless it’s temporary, like antibiotics) ever. EVER. I will remain healthy throughout my old age and I will retain my mental capabilities – period. I believe it to be so and I trust God to help me make it so.

Now over the counter drugs? I take Aleve once in a while for sinuses. Excedrin migraine once in a while for, well, migraines. I also use nose spray (those pesky sinuses again). But other than that? I rarely even take Tylenol.

I do give the kids vitamins once in a while – especially when I see they are feeling run down and need a boost. I still give MK a children’s vitamin because he’s just so freaking skinny and underweight for regular vitamins. But GD, he gets a “man” vitamin – one of those daily vitamins designed for men.

The husband doesn’t pop pills, either. He does have to take Tylenol PM sometimes though to help him sleep.

11. Do you think that gift cards are suitable gifts to give? Do you find them to be impersonal? Do you like receiving gift cards? If so, from where and do you cash them in right away, or do you wait for the right item/price to come along?

I love, love, LOVE gift cards (hint hint!). ESPECIALLY to Barnes & Noble. In fact, I still have the gift card to B&N my parents gave me for my last birthday. It’s not that I haven’t found anything I want to spend it on, but rather, I prefer to hoard it, take it out and gaze upon its plastic goodness once in a while and think “I have a backup plan for that book I really, really want.” I love that.

I think they can be impersonal if the giver hasn’t given it much thought. For example, if I ever got a Lowe’s gift card I would be hard pressed not to look the giver in the eye and say, “Why?” But to get a gift certificate to your favorite store? Ahh, heaven.

12. Who have you needed to say thank you to lately? Who is this person and what did he/she do to prompt a thank you?

This is going to sound clichรฉ but I can’t help it – my husband. I hate to brag on the man, but I quite possibly have the best husband in the world. He’s thoughtful, he pulls (more than!) his weight around the house, he is incredibly smart and is an amazing problem solver. And he puts up with me.

That, my dear husband, deserves a HUGE, HUGE thank you in and of itself. I’ve been really busy these past two weeks and he’s been fantastic – understanding and patient. Thank you honey, I love you more than I tell you.

13. How many candles will be on your birthday cake this next birthday? What do you think about the age you are now? Are you comfortable with what you’ve accomplished in life so far? Or do you wish you could have achieved more? You’re being granted one birthday wish – what is it?

Gads, I can’t believe I’m telling you guys this, but I’ll be 38 in November.

…………..

Oh alright! 39.

………….

Fine, 43. Happy now? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Have I accomplished everything I’ve set out to? Not quite. I have just three major life goals:

1. To see my kids grow up and be responsible and successful adults.
2. To graduate from college.
3. To be published.

One, I’m still working on but I think we have a pretty good start.

Two, I graduated from college in 2003 and it was an AMAZING experience (I miss college!!).

Three, well, that’s the one I need to work on. I have a feeling 2009 might be the year it happens. (Of course, I said that last year too, but … whatever).

My birthday wish? To continue living a happy and fulfilling life. God has blessed me, he truly has.

Have a great Thursday, everyone!
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Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Painful Memories

Thirteen Painful Memories from my Past
(Not for the squeamish)

1. Feared I would never see my sister again when she got lost at an amusement park (she was like five!)

2. While sewing, accidentally got too close to the needle and stuck it through my middle finger (punched a perfect hole through my bone โ€“ it took five nurses to hold me down while they jerked it out. โ€“ it was more painful than childbirth)

3. Sliced the heel of my foot with a can lid (in the trash bag, on the floor, I simply stepped back and well, you get the picture)

4. Nearly sliced a big chunk of skin off my knuckle while washing a glass (the glass busted on my hand)

5. Fell out of my car (while driving), went skidding across a busy intersection in front of traffic on a busy Friday afternoon (this was on my 19th birthday). My sunglasses disintegrated on my face and sliced the skin on my forehead down to the bone โ€“ had to have those big ugly, thick, black stitches, I looked like Frankenstein for weeks. I have an ugly three-inch scar to remind me to WEAR MY SEATBELT! (remind me to tell this story sometime).

6. Smashed my pinky in a folding chair while on my honeymoon โ€“ lost the fingernail entirely a few days later.

7. Gave birth to my oldest son eight weeks early, no explanation, it just happened and didnโ€™t know if my little guy would survive or not. He was born on my husbandโ€™s birthday. (Little stinker. lol)

8. Lost a few years off my life when my second son was born and they couldnโ€™t get him to breathe.

9. Witnessed my oldest son fall and bust his lip on the edge of the chair. It bled a lot but we didnโ€™t take him to the emergency room for stitches. He has a pretty big bump there now and I blame myself for making the wrong decision.

10. Nearly lost my mind when my youngest son had an asthma attack and literally couldnโ€™t breathe because he was coughing so badly. To top it off, his pediatrician wouldnโ€™t see him because he didnโ€™t have an appointment. I had to take him to a walk-in clinic.

11. Lost my youngest, ON HIS BITHDAY, DURING HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY, and couldnโ€™t find him for fifteen minutes. He had wandered down to a neighborโ€™s house โ€“ she brought him back to me.

12. Had a head-on collision with a woman who turned in front of me. I had JUST settled my youngest in the passenger side seat and buckled him in (he was very whiny, about three, and to quiet him, I told him he could sit up front with me โ€“ it was an older car, no air bag) when seconds later we crashed. If it had happened moments earlier, my youngest would have been thrown through the windshield.

13. Fell off a six-foot ladder, from the very top, while changing the marquee in front of Wendyโ€™s on a Friday afternoon. Didnโ€™t go to the hospital until I started peeing blood. Had to have SEVEN enemas before they could x-ray my kidneys to see what kind of damage had been done โ€“ they were merely bruised.

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Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Stranger than Fiction

Because honestly? Ideas for stories ABOUND from real life. You just have to pay attention.

But never mind that – who has time to pay attention? Let me point you to some wacky real-life stories:

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1. California teen gives birth in shower, walks to hospital
LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) — A 17-year-old girl gave birth secretly at home, then walked four blocks to a hospital with the baby still attached by its umbilical cord….

2. Ohio judge to decide man’s fate for sharing snack cake
MCARTHUR, Ohio (AP) — A judge in southern Ohio must decide whether to send a man to prison for sharing a Little Debbie snack cake. The case involves 21-year-old Timothy Caudill, who last year was held in a residential community corrections program in Nelsonville for breaking into a bar….

3. Japanese official demoted for 780,000 hits on porn sites
TOKYO (AP) — A Japanese civil servant was demoted for logging more than 780,000 hits on pornographic Web sites on his office computer over nine months, an official said Friday….

4. Omaha man says this was his second self-tracheotomy
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — The 55-year-old Omaha man who performed a tracheotomy on himself with a steak knife says he did the same thing to himself two years ago….

5. Driver gets in wreck, sees his home catch fire, gets ticket
ROCK ISLAND, Tenn. (AP) — One moment, Justin Hill was turning into his driveway. Minutes later he was being flown to a hospital as his home went up in flames. Then he got a traffic ticket….

6. Legally blind man, 78, bowls perfect game
ALTA, Iowa (AP) — A 78-year-old legally blind man nicknamed “The Hammer” has bowled a perfect game. Dale Davis of Alta, Iowa, nailed 12 consecutive strikes and reached 300 on Saturday night during league play….

7. Forgotten tot left behind at Vancouver airport
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP) — An immigrant family left a 23-month-old boy in the Vancouver airport and learned he was missing only when contacted during the next leg of the trip….

8. ‘Darth Vader’ spared jail in Jedi church attacks
HOLYHEAD, Wales (AP) — A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday….

9. Man says JetBlue made him sit on toilet
NEW YORK (AP) — A New York City man is suing JetBlue Airways Corp. for more than $2 million because he says a pilot made him give up his seat to a flight attendant and sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California….

10. Australian fined for buckling in beer, not child
DARWIN, Australia (AP) — An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car’s floor, police said Tuesday….

11. Man jailed when daughter fails to get diploma
CINCINNATI (AP) — A man ordered by a judge to make sure his daughter hit the books has found himself in jail because she failed to earn a high school equivalency diploma….

12. Texas woman wins a free funeral at baseball game
GRAND PRAIRIE, Texas (AP) — Elaine Fulps is thrilled about the prize she won at a minor league baseball game. But she’s hoping she doesn’t have to collect on it anytime soon. Fulps, 60, won a $10,000 paid funeral at Tuesday night’s Grand Prairie AirHogs game….

13. Illinois man changes name to ‘In God We Trust’
ZION, Ill. (AP) — A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to “In God We Trust.”…

I adore these weird news stories because honestly, they are a writer’s dream – talk about strange and fascinating ideas – and they’re true!!

Which story did you find the most interesting/disturbing?

I’ll be writing a fictionalized account of one of the above stories in this week’s Thursday Thread. Can you guess which one it’ll be?

Stay tuned …