Category: Life

Santa has a saying at my house:

“If you don’t give me a wish list, there’s no telling what you might open on Christmas morning!”

Hence the reason I get wish lists from my boys every year. Very specific wish lists, I might add.

They didn’t use to always be this way. When they were little, their lists were long and quite generic. Play-doh. Legos. Hot Wheels. Trains. Etc.

But now?

Their wish lists are short and contain computer specs. Here is Dude’s list:

1. New computer
2. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (Xbox 360)
3. Halo ODST (Xbox 360)
4. New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)
5. Borderlands (Xbox 360)
6. Cranberry “EB Yourself” shirt (www.fangamer.net)
7. Forest “EB’9X” shirt (www.fangamer.net)

Current Computer’s Specs
Processor: Intel(R) Pentium(R) D CPU 3.00GHz 3.00 GHz
Memory (RAM): 1.50 GB
System type: 32-bit Operating System
Video Card: Radeon X1300/X1500 Series
Hard Drive Memory: 141 GB

The boy is specific.

Jazz’s list is quite similar – my boys make look different? But they’re carbon copies when it comes to their past times.

Both boys really want new computers. Correction, let’s be specific here: they want gaming computers. Because that’s what they use their computers for – to play games and/or watch YouTube videos. (Out of the one BILLION videos on YouTube? I think Dude has watched 999,999,001.)

But we like to get the best deal. So I told them they needed to find out their computer specs so “Santa” could weigh the option of whether it would be cheaper to replace, say, the video card, as opposed to buying a whole new computer (which could very likely be cheaper because sometimes you can buy a good, refurbished computer for almost cheaper than you can buy a brand new, awesome, video card. Trust me. I’m a geek).

So, after Bible study one Sunday morning, I asked the boys to stick around and present their “we want a new computer and here’s why” case to their father.

In a nutshell? Here’s what they said:

Dude is thinking ahead. He knows that the kind of games he enjoys playing are getting more and more sophisticated and his computer is getting older by the month (because it’s all about months when it comes to computer technology, not years). In addition, his graphics are starting to lag, so he’s pretty sure that he’s at that point where the newer games? Most likely won’t play on his machine.

Now, the boys’ computers are the same, but Jazz’s computer is not quite as good as Dude’s. And that’s mainly because Dude spent his own money and bought himself some more RAM so his processor would run faster thereby making his game play that much smoother. (Still with me?). But Jazz didn’t do that, so his RAM? Is pretty puny. He’s also been having problems with turning his computer on. I can hear him in there mumbling at his “stupid machine” whenever he turns it on, but it won’t boot up and he ends up having to turn it on and off about ten times before it finally works properly. (We bought him a new power supply over the weekend – it works fine now). In addition, his video card is crapping out and because he has less RAM than Dude, his games REALLY lag and just frustrate him to no end.

But overall? They’re pretty good computers. And in fact, they are better than most of the “gaming” machines we’ve looked at. But Kevin wanted to weigh his options, so Kevin and the boys took Jazz’s computer apart to get to the video card and Kevin and Dude drove up the computer store over the weekend to talk to the guy and see what kind of video card they had and how much it would cost to upgrade. (I thought this was really cool for Dude because if he wants to go into computer, this is the sort of stuff he’d be helping people with).

We’ll bypass the gobbedly-gook (because I can see you guys nodding off – sorry, I love computers) and just say? Their cards? Suck. And a really good, top-o-the-line card? A whopping $200 bucks.

Each.

Yeah. We’re still chewing on that one. I’m not sure what Kevin wants to do about that yet, but we’ve already told the boys that if, and that’s a pretty big IF, they get a new video card, they can’t expect much else from Santa and to my utter surprise, they were both pretty cool with that.

I TOLD you my boys are on their way to being UBER-GEEKS/GOOD HACKS.

So, I spent a good portion of my Sunday looking over their lists, strategizing with Kevin and I think we’ve pretty much have them wrapped up, as far as Christmas. And yes, we plan on buying them a nicer video card, only not the top-o-the-line card, but a cheaper compromise.

The disadvantage to having super-geeky children? What they want is EXPENSIVE.

The advantage to having super-geeky children? THAT’S ALL THEY WANT.

So – DONE. Santa is done with the boys, save for a few stocking stuffers.

Christmas shopping has sort of thrown me for a loop this year. I’m usually done with Kevin right about now and just thinking about the boys. But this year, the boys are done and I have NO CLUE what to give Kevin this year. Even though he also gives me a very specific wish list (and he HAS to, because the man is REALLY picky and if I deviate from the list and buy him something unexpected, I have to endure that heart-breaking “I’m not disappointed, but really I am!” look. Do you know the one?), I’m not sure what to buy him.

Kevin’s lists are always very short. Which is fine, but it’s sort of hard to surprise the man when in essence, he knows what he’s getting and where’s the fun in that? I usually try and throw a little something in, just to throw him off track, but his big gifts? He totally asks for.

Now me. *sigh* I hate making wish lists because I don’t know! I don’t think about what I want. I’m always so focused on what everyone else wants that whenever someone asks me what I want? I’m like this:

And I can only shrug people off for so long before they start getting cranky with me and I’m forced to comply.

So after making sure the boys were done for Christmas, I started in on my wish list. …………………….

And couldn’t think of a single thing. Kevin has already told me that he will no longer buy me clothes. He says that he buys them, and then I never wear them. (He’s right). And though I love gift cards, (especially from Amazon – HINTHINT), that’s not exactly fun to open (though fun to use later!!!!)

I’m sitting here, yesterday afternoon, wracking my brain, trying to think of something when I suddenly remember – AMAZON! My Amazon wish list is huge. The only problem is? It’s chock full of books. And Kevin? Doesn’t want to buy me books. (I’ve mentioned I have a whole bookcase and TWO huge plastic containers in the garage that I need to get through, right? Yeah. It’s bad).

So now what? I think to myself. And somehow? Don’t even ask me how, I end up on video games. And I see the EA Sports Active for the Wii and HELLO! Right up my alley. So, that’s on the wish list (and I’ve given it a high priority – HINTHINT). Because even though I’m a couch potato in December? I always get back on the workout wagon in January because from that point on? It’s a countdown to warmer weather and more revealing clothes.

Ladies, you know what I’m talkin’ about, right? (Do I actually have to say it? Swimsuits. Sleeveless shirts. Shorts. Exactly!).

But then, then I ran across this lovely, scrumptious metallic rose-colored DS and COME TO MAMA. I want it. Don’t ask me why, I just do. This, of course, means I have to have games to go along with it. So I start doing a little research on DS games. I like mystery games – where you have to solve puzzles and riddles in order to solve a crime. I dig that stuff, which really makes no sense because I have the intelligence of a flea, but I pay attention and I have a lot of common sense and they’re challenging so, hush.

Only, there are a TON to choose from and I didn’t want to get stuck with a stinker, so I call Dude in to give me some advice. He’s like the GO-TO guy for video games.

He tells me I need to go to IGN and look up the game rating. Most of the games I looked at, were around 6, which Dude has assured me is NOT A GOOD RATING, so I bypassed them. But the games on my Amazon wish list? Are all 8’s or better, so those are the games I’m going with. (They look a little hokey and childish? But honestly, I watched videos on them and they look fun!)

But mostly, I think the reason I really want a DS for Christmas? Is because it gives me something to talk about with my boys. It would establish common ground with them and I have to say:

(I had every intention of making this post short. But as you can see, I failed. I’m beginning to think I’m incapable of writing short posts. It’s quite annoying).

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(I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Josh Groban)

There’s really not much to say about Thanksgiving, we got together, we ate too much, we laughed too much and then we went home. 😀

We have a family deal – we get together with Kevin’s family for Thanksgiving and then reserve Christmas for my family. It really works out well for us because that way, we’re not doing the holiday shuffle.

If you have more than one family, either biologically or by marriage, then you know ALL about the family shuffle.

We all take turns hosting Thanksgiving dinner. We do this to save my mother-in-law’s sanity and she’s worked so hard for us for so many years, that she deserves to take it easy and just ENJOY the holiday for a change. (Not that she really sits around, she brings the pies every year – this year, she made 15 pies for 19 people!!)

We gathered at my sister-in-law’s house. Kellie has a beautiful home and an outstanding sense of home decor and I thoroughly enjoy going over to her house just to see what sort of new and interesting thing she’s done to her house this go-around.

She tried a new painting technique on her music room walls – she painted them one color, and then using a darker, coordinating color, she used a trash bag to “texture” the walls. They look absolutely stunning and if you stand back, the walls look like leather. It’s really quite unique.

We spent the first several hours just playing catch up with everyone. My other sister-in-law and her husband just returned from a trip to Jamaica, so they had quite a few stories to share with us.

My nephew showed up from Texas with his new girlfriend (who’s cute as a button and oh so sweet!) and we spent more time catching up on our very busy niece and nephews’ lives.

My brother-in-law was the official photographer this year and took this picture of me and Kevin:

I think it might be one of the best ones we’ve had done together. (In fact, I liked it so much I used it for my Facebook profile picture and put it in my sidebar). He used a fancy-smancy flash, the kind that actually attaches and you can angle up so that there is less face glare, and when we got home, we realized that we had a similar flash from my old Olympus camera that actually fits our Canon Rebel! Now I’m really looking forward to taking holiday photos! (And would you believe that the batteries in that detached flash actually STILL work after about 18 years of being dormant?!)

After dinner, we played the annual board games and I laughed so much I actually gave myself a headache. We played Scattergories and Luck of the Draw. I did great at Scattergories, but WOW, I really stink at drawing. But it didn’t matter because we were all pretty bad (save for my brother-in-law, who’s an artist by trade. Poop head).

It was a fun day full of warm laughter, genuine fellowship, and scrumptious food.

Next year will be our turn to host Thanksgiving dinner – and I’m already planning, if you can believe that. 🙂

I hope you had a fantastic Thanksgiving! Remember, there’s SO MUCH to be thankful for if we just train ourselves to recognize the little things and remember that family is everything.

So that’s it – my son is now officially 17 and my husband is … still older than me by four years. (I’ll let you do the math. *grin*)

We have pretty low-key birthdays at our house. We celebrate with immediate family and pretty much leave friends out of it. (The reluctance to invite friends most likely stems from my idiotic and quite irrational phobia I have of putting friends in the awkward position of HAVING to buy gifts – I really must get over that).

This year was no exception. I did take snippets of video throughout my day, preparing for the guys’ birthdays that I plan on stitching together … sometime this weekend (in between furiously writing for NaNoWriMo [I’m SO BEHIND!] and putting a newsletter together). I thought it might be fun to document the craziness I go through each year on November 18th (but I’m not complaining!).

When Kevin got home from work, we gave Dude his gift(s):

He already knew he was receiving the Left 4 Dead PC game (what is it with teenage boys and zombies?!) but I threw him for a loop by buying him the Halo 3 t-shirt, which he loved and then promptly said, “Cool! A weekend shirt!”

He wouldn’t be caught dead in that at school. Why? Because one, HELLO, I’M A GEEK! and two, it would draw attention to him and Dude likes to remain low-key.

It adds to his whole mystique persona, you see.

I didn’t give Kevin a gift. Why? Are you kidding me?!

We took Dude out to his favorite Chinese restaurant (the boy LOVES him some Chinese food) and that’s … about it. Like I said, we keep it pretty low-key.

Now next year, when he turns 18 (EIGHTEEN?!?), I’d like to throw him a party, though maybe not, because he’ll be graduating and I want to throw him a party for that and … well heck, why can’t the boy have two parties in one year?

Anyway, since Kevin’s birthday is also Dude’s birthday, I made him pick a restaurant he would like to go to (we’ve always just done the one restaurant in the past and that was always Dude’s pick and you know? How is that fair?) and he’s picking a steak house, which we plan on eating at tomorrow, for lunch, because it’ll be cheaper.

And yes, we really do think like that. 😀

It was a great evening. I’m always a little glad when it’s over just because it stresses me out, having two birthdays on the same day and I want to make sure both of my guys are happy and treated equally, and yet, uniquely.

But you know what? The whole running around with my head cut off? Is totally worth it.

They’re worth it.

I actually wrote this post this time last year. But I thought I would re-post it (with some updates) for three reasons:

• Dude will be 17 tomorrow and this is my tribute to him.
• It’s important to me to look back on this experience and savor the fact that my son is now normal and quite healthy.
• To put my experience into the preemie pot, with so many (TOO MANY), stories of how our precious children had such a rough start to life.

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(There comes a point, in every parent’s life, when you’re forced to wake up and face the fact that your children are no longer babies. The childhood stage has passed and you’ve entered a new, and in some ways, scarier phase of your child’s life: adolescence. It didn’t really hit me that my oldest son was no longer a child until he went to his pediatrician to get his booster shots a few years back and the doctor told me that he was halfway through puberty and though he still had some growing to do, he was well on his way to becoming a man.

This entry was hard for me to write. I pride myself on keeping my emotions in check. But I must admit, I could barely write this entry through my tears.)

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My life tumbled out of control November 17, 1992. It was Kevin’s birthday the next day and I was frantic to find him a gift. I remember speed walking the mall, trying to find him something.

And I remember the most gawd-awful back pain, like ever. Little did I know, I was already IN labor.

I had no idea what was happening to me. I had never been through this experience before and there was no one to ask.

I woke up at around 3:00 the morning of November 18th with pains. I thought they were gas. BAD gas. So, I went to the restroom.

My water broke.

But still. I was in denial. It was too soon. This couldn’t possibly be what I thought it was, right? I woke Kevin up, told him what was going on, and he shooed me away, told me it was nothing, rolled over and went back to sleep. (I’ve teased him about this endlessly over the years).

I went back to sleep, but it was a fitful sleep. Finally, I got up at 6:00 and just sort of puttered around. The pains were getting worse and I knew, something wasn’t right, but I still wouldn’t admit that I might possibly be in labor.

Kevin suggested that we wait until 9:00, when my OB/GYN office opened, and we would see what they said.

It wasn’t until I called, told the nurse what was going on and heard the urgency in her voice to get to the hospital NOW, that I finally admitted I was in labor.

We flew to the hospital. The pains were getting pretty bad at this point, but nothing I couldn’t handle. They examined me (I think I was a three) and gave me my epidural.

Dude was born two and a half hours later. He just slipped out, he was so small, but believe it or not, he was 4 lbs and 12 oz.

That’s pretty big for a preemie. And I later learned, an advantage.

Because he arrived eight weeks too early (and on Kevin’s birthday, no less! All of the nurses got a kick out of that), his lungs hadn’t fully developed, so he had to go under an oxygen tent. Only, he wasn’t ready for that and they had to intubate him.

To top it off, and because of my stupidity, he developed a blood infection because I waited too long to go in after my water broke. He had to have a blood transfusion.

I beat myself up over that for a number of months.

It was touch and go for a while. His weight dropped pretty quickly that first week and there would be visits where the doctor told us things were looking grim and other visits where the doctor told us that things were looking up. It was an emotional roller coaster and one I would NEVER wish on anyone.

(Dude, right after birth.)

Dude was a puny kid. He had to come home on a monitor because his nervous system was still a little underdeveloped and he would sometimes forget to breathe.

(Kevin, holding Dude our last night in the hospital. We were preparing to take him home the next day).

The monitor made everyone extremely nervous; I got used to it. Though it did go off several times, only one time was an actual emergency. It was the middle of the night and his monitor beeped. I instantly woke up and raced to his room. In the past, all I would have to do was turn on the light and that was enough to stimulate him back into a breathing pattern. Only this time, it didn’t work and I had to actually touch him and gently shake him awake before he started breathing again.

I’m pretty sure I lost a year of my life that night.

There was never any explanation as to why my water broke and I went into labor exactly eight weeks early, but the booger bear slipped out at about 11:00 in the morning and we were never so scared, and so thrilled to see him in all our lives. He stayed in the NICU for six weeks because his lungs hadn’t fully developed and though he was a big preemie – 4 lbs. and 12 oz., he lost so much weight in the first several weeks he dipped down to the 3 lb. range. The hospital wouldn’t release him until he hit the 5 lb range – it took six weeks to get there.

The nurses loved him. He was smiley and generally in good spirits. He had to be fed through a tube through his nose for quite a while and his oxygen levels would dip so low while feeding that yet another monitor would beep and scare us half to death.

(His special nurse, Wendy, was very attentive and very kind to us in NICU).

I was an emotional wreck that whole six weeks and spent countless hours just sitting and either stroking him, or talking to him. We had to scrub our hands with disinfectant before they would allow us into the unit and I remember my hands looking like raw hamburger meat before it was all said and done.

Dude spent his first Christmas in the hospital. We even have a picture of Santa holding him.

It was easily the most difficult Christmas of my life and I remember crying myself to sleep especially hard Christmas Eve and Christmas night. All I wanted for Christmas was to hold my baby without having to be careful of accidentally dislodging a tube.

(My folks, holding Dude for the first time).

Even though Dude was born prematurely, he never fell behind his peers. He quickly caught up on the growth charts and has never had any emotional, or physical complication as a result of his early start. My oldest son was simply impatient to start this thing we call life. I believe he takes after his momma. *smile*

(Dude and me a few days after we were allowed to take him home. I was terrified).

Dude will be seventeen tomorrow. I keep thinking this must be a mistake – it’s really been that many years since bringing him into the world to charm the NICU nurses? And sometimes I catch myself just staring at him in wonder because my little boy is completely gone – and in his place is a handsome young man with an infectious smile and the kindest heart you will ever encounter. He is a quiet, introspective sort of personality; he’s shy but warm, subdued but charismatic. He has never been a very talkative person, but when he speaks, people listen. He is a gentle soul, my Dude, and I pray he grows up to be a well-rounded individual because God knows I made some mistakes with him. I’ve since learned from those mistakes, but I will never forgive myself for them.

Son, you have blessed our lives and given us purpose. Thank you for being such a great son, a decent human being and a special individual. I hope you remember your childhood fondly and will someday understand why we made some of the decisions we made. I now pray you enter manhood with confidence and feel ready to tackle whatever life throws at you. And I hope you will remember that no matter how old you get, you will always be our special little preemie.

Happy birthday son. We love you so very, very much.

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