Category: Life

I realize I’m not for everyone; I’m an acquired taste, I suppose. My writing is a little on the preachy side and I have a tendency to just put it out there – perhaps with a bit more tact than others (or perhaps not, depending on your perspective), but for the most part – I am who I am and when you visit me? You pretty much know where you stand and what to expect.

I have very strong political opinions and religious views and I’m not afraid to put those opinions and views out there. (They may be a bit diluted for the sake of trying to be fair and me not wishing to be a total jerk, but I daresay you’ll find more of the “controversial” issues on my blog than on a lot of other bloggers’ blogs).

I don’t suffer fools lightly. You’re more than welcome to visit, but please, check your whine at the door.

I say what I mean, and mean what I say.

For that, I suppose, you could call me a bold blogger. Though I’m certainly NOT as bold as I would like to be (I have friends and family that read me and for that, I censor myself. In addition, I don’t enjoy purposefully hurting someone simply because I CAN), but for the most part, if you’re any good at reading between the lines, you can usually catch my drift.

I blog without obligation and I plan on keeping it that way. I never accept anything from anyone so if you see a giveaway, a contest or even a review, I paid for these items myself and my opinion has not been altered in order to play nice with sponsors. I don’t like answering to anyone. I don’t like feeling obligated to anyone. I want the freedom to simply be me – for whatever that’s worth.

I simply don’t go down that road. I’d LIKE to go down that road. I’ve had OPPORTUNITIES to go down that road in the past, but when I sat back and weighed the pros and cons of being honest or tiptoeing around my opinion, I opted to go the no obligation route.

For the most part, I stay out of Internet drama. And by that I mean, blogging drama. And trust me, if you pay attention, at all, you’ll see what I mean. Does this mean I don’t have an opinion on the matter? Hardly. But I refuse to get sucked into juvenile games of he/she said and I’m CERTAINLY NOT interested in becoming one of the popular “elite” bloggers who everyone spends an insane amount of time kissing up to all in the hopes that they will notice them and perhaps accept them into their inner circle.

Though I would love to make friends online, and I have made some pretty awesome friendships thus far, that’s not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal, for this blog, in my publicly writing to y’all, is to simply be myself. To document my life as honestly as I can without damaging my relationships in the interim. I honest to God only wish to leave a little piece of me behind to whomever is interested enough to care.

That’s all.

I ramble on Twitter. I have a tendency to just type the first lame thing that comes to my mind.

I do that, because THAT’S a big part of who I am. My brain has always moved faster than my mouth and I’ve always been the sort of person who starts something only to become distracted by something else later (SHINY!) I’m notorious for having big ideas and then not doing anything about them.

But the fact that I have those ideas is saying something, I suppose.

And you can tell when I’m in one of my moods because my tweets are all OVER the board. And they appear in rapid succession – random thoughts ricochet off my brain walls and just sort of dribble out of my mouth or ooze out of my fingers and onto the keyboard – it’s quite an attractive process, I assure you.

And it never ceases to amuse me the amount of followers I either gain, or lose, in one particular rant. I have a tendency to go OFF on politics sometimes and I never know if what I’m saying will offend, or reaffirm, what others think. Sometimes my numbers plummet, sometimes they sky rocket – it’s a crap shoot.

I almost always lose followers whenever I slip up and curse – I try very hard to keep the vulgarity to a minimum but come on, I’m human, that only flies for so long before the situation DEMANDS an expletive.

But here’s the thing – even though I’m thrilled when people follow me, or it saddens me a bit when people unfollow me, overall? I’m not overly concerned – I am who I am. I am me when I’m in a funky mood. I am me when I’m in a sarcastic mood. I am me when I’m feeling b*tchy. I am me when I’m feeling depressed. It’s all relative. I can’t be anyone else but me.

And I won’t apologize for that.

Take it or leave it. And I think that’s where so many bloggers go wrong when they start blogging. They feel like it always has to be rainbows and sunshine and get real – life is not always like that. After a while, feeling like you have to be something you’re not starts weighing heavily on your mind and you start finding it harder and harder to blog because you no longer feel like you can BE this persona, that you will disappoint people. That you will lose RSS readers or followers.

I hate to break this to you, but it’s impossible to please everyone. IM.POSS.I.BLE. So the fix? Just BE yourself.

Only better. 🙂

I guess I felt the need to write this post because of I’ve been reading how other bloggers are taking a stand to be more bold and are blogging without apolgogy this new year. I admire their determination to stay true and honest. Because blogging? Really IS all about you. And if you take YOU out of the equation? It gets rather boring, don’t you think?

So, this is me. Stay. Or leave. Either way, I will continue to be who I am.

Thanks for reading.

And that’s good to know, especially now that we have frigid temperatures and are very nearly confined to our house as it is. When it’s so cold outside that your eyeballs freeze on contact and you have difficulty blinking because your tear ducts have iced over, you know it’s serious business.

But seriously, have you thought about what would happen if you couldn’t leave your house? Or there was some sort of national emergency and you couldn’t buy the items you needed? Or the weather suddenly went berserk and you were forced to live like the pioneers with no electricity and other limited resources and you had to salvage all of your energy just so you could survive the long, cold night?

It can happen. In fact, my father-in-law is convinced that it WILL happen and has taken precautions (complete with buying a hand gun) in preparation.

Though I wouldn’t go so far as to agree with him on that “let’s panic and do something drastic” level, I DO think it’s a good idea to be prepared for the worst. You just never know what will happen and when you have a family to take care of? It behooves you to think ahead.

For example:

Three years ago, Springfield was one huge ICICLE; our fair city crystallized before our very eyes. We received FIVE inches of ice in the span of three separate ice storms. Our temperatures were frigid (sort of like now) and 70% of our city lost electricity. We, personally, were without power for 11 1/2 days – and yes, we were keeping track. It was one of the worst storms to hit our city in Springfield’s history.

We were crippled. People were fighting over firelogs, flashlights, blankets and kerosene all in the name of trying to stay warm at night. One whole family died because they didn’t know enough NOT to put their generator in the garage and the carbon dioxide killed them in their sleep.

People’s homes were being broken into because the owners left to stay at hotels until they got their power back. School was canceled for an entire week simply because they didn’t have any power.

In short, it was a mess.

Part of the problem, aside from the insane amount of ice we received, was that our trees simply … exploded. It was not uncommon to go outside and hear the constant BANG, POP, SNAP of tree limbs as they broke off and tore down our electric lines.

And let’s not forget the explosions and flashes of light as transformers blew throughout the city. And yes, we witnessed quite a few of those when we stepped outside to try and regain some semblance of reality.

Sometimes it was so loud it sounded like a gun shot had gone off. This was especially creepy at night. When it was pitch black (no street lights) and you had no idea where the sound was coming from and you prayed it wasn’t one of your own trees and/or a limb was about to come crashing through your roof. (This happened to a few people).

We moved our BBQ grill into the kitchen and we cooked a few meals on that. But mostly, we went out to grab some burgers. We lost a whole refrigerator worth of food. I spent the entire day preparing for the evening – making sure we had enough kerosene for our heater, making sure there was enough wood for the wood fireplace – we basically existed during that time period and nothing more.

We were completely unprepared for that ice storm. I remember walking around in a virtual daze for the first day or so because I simply didn’t know what to do. I kept expecting the power to come back on, after all, we had lost power in the past, but it had always come back on within a few hours.

When I was finally convinced that this ice storm was indeed SERIOUS and that it would be DAYS before we had any hope of getting our power back, only then did I snap to attention and begin to assess our situation.

We needed light. The evenings were the worse. There is nothing more depressing than sitting around in the dark and just sort of waiting around for bedtime. We needed heat. Our house got all the way down to 40 degrees and we were exhaling condensation – in our house. We needed the basic necessities to survive, in our own home.

Generators were hard to come by – everyone in Springfield was looking for one. Companies shipped generators in from surrounding towns and Kevin stood in line for three hours, in single digit weather, just so he could snag one off a semi-truck. Our lives became considerably easier once we got our generator. We kept it in our shed, well away from the house, but that meant we had to buy extra long extensions cords so we could plug it into our gas heater and warm up the house. The generator was only so much wattage, so it was a constant power compromise: turn this light off so I could turn this on, or unplug the house heater so I could run the hair dryer. It was exhausting.

The generator would periodically sputter and die at irregular and unpredictable intervals and our house would be plunged back into darkness. Lines began to form at the gas stations because everyone freaked out and thought there would be a gas shortage.

I wasn’t so much worried about not having enough for our cars, I was worried we wouldn’t have enough for our generator, and we would have to contend with the cold and the dark once more.

I can’t express to you enough the severity of our city’s situation. I’ve never experienced anything like it before in my life and I pray to God I never experience anything like it in the future, either. It was a living nightmare. It truly was. And I’m not talking about missing TV or my computer, I’m talking about not having heat and worrying about whether we would last the night.

In short, we learned a lot from that experience. We learned to stock emergency rations, to make sure we had plenty of candles and flashlights (the kind that don’t take batteries, you know, the crank kind), to buy a kerosene heater (we had borrowed my parents’ heater), and to have some sort of plan in place in case something like that happened again. Granted, the plan will likely change, depending on the emergency but at least we have SOMETHING, we didn’t have ANYTHING last time.

We are prepared now. And I figure we have enough food and supplies to see us through about three months, if we’re stingy with our food consumption.

It all sounds so third world-ish, I know, but honestly, it’s smart to be prepared, to have food rations and to have a survival plan if it comes to that.

We’ve had some pretty cold temperatures these past several days. And it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up until next week. Thank the good LORD above that all we’re having to deal with this go-around is snow – no ice. And our city utility company has spent months making the rounds and trimming back our trees to help ensure that if we get another ice storm, the tree limbs won’t knock out our power again. (One of the reasons we had such a wide-spread outage last time was because people started vetoing the tree trimming activities – you know, they wanted to be more “green” and as a result, it ended up coming back to bite us in the butt by leaving us in the dark for several weeks. Funny, I haven’t heard one peep out of anyone about trimming back the trees since then. And if anyone EVER says anything about wanting to stop it in the future, I will fight tooth and nail to remind them of the ice storm of 2007).

If there’s one thing you have to do if you live in Springfield Missouri, is be prepared for anything. In fact, Forbes Magazine named Springfield, in their wildest weather report story, as having the biggest variety of weather:

A slightly elevated city in the Ozarks at 1,266 feet, Springfield sits beneath unstable air (cooler air over warm air) which spurs high winds, including some tornadoes. All the leading weather variety towns are landlocked–land both heats and cools several times faster than water. Springfield is also just close enough the tornado alley area of the Gulf of Mexico to keep things interesting.

So, if you see me on Twitter talking about our weather? Now you know why. There is never a dull moment around here, let me assure you.

How about you – how long could you survive trapped in your house?

I saw these questions over at Simple Mom’s and just couldn’t resist answering them. I love that they are detail-oriented because it’s one thing to say, “I’m going to lose weight” and quite another to actually list HOW you’re going to do that.

Ready?

(Feel free to write your own answers in the comment section. Or if you blogged about it, leave a link and I’ll pop over!)

IV. Goals for Your Children

1. What are ways you’d like each of your children to grow in the following areas?

a. Physically: Tall and strong.

We worried about Jazz’s growth progress for a few years, but he’s really shot up there in this past year and I’m quite confident he will soon catch up to his peers. Kevin had a late growth spurt, too, so it seems obvious that Jazz, who is a carbon copy of his father, would be the same way.

I think Dude might be nearly done growing. I suspect he’ll grow another inch or two before graduation. He’s tall and skinny – he reminds me a lot of the men in my family, both in physical stature and looks. I am a little worried about Dude’s curved spine. It’s quite pronounced and he leans a little to the right, but I’m confident he’ll grow into his body and it will straighten out.

(And before any of you suggest it – there’s not a whole lot you can do for a curvature of the spine; I researched it. He can wear a full-body brace but the end result is not much better afterward and there is surgery, which is risky, painful, arduous and again, doesn’t make that much difference in the end. He’ll be fine. Trust me. Trust God).

b. Emotionally: Well, they’re both teenagers, so they have some maturing to do. I find myself wishing they would just hurry up and mature already, but you know, life slips by so fast anyway, I need to stop thinking that way.

I’m very thankful that both boys have a strong emotional base. They don’t have any mental issues (that I’m aware of) and seem to be pretty well grounded. I know some of this is due to genetics, but I would also like to think that I’ve played a pretty big role in their emotional development by trying to teach them to control themselves and to not sweat the small stuff.

That small stuff can really get ya, if you’re not paying attention.

c. Relationally: Jazz is very outgoing and an extrovert, Dude is the polar opposite, though if he gets to know you, CAN be quite outgoing and funny, if he chooses to be.

Jazz has already had his heart broken by a girl and is usually quite open about who he likes. He’s expressed an interest in asking girls out to the school dances quite a few times, but then he chickens out at the last minute and doesn’t ask them. (I’m sort of relieved, if you want the truth. Though I never discourage him from taking the bull by the horns and just asking them).

Dude, on the other hand, is very close-mouthed about girls. Though we’ve suspected he’s had crushes on girls in the past (judging by his sudden defensiveness and scarlet cheeks), he’s never openly talked about girls or expressed an interest in asking anyone out. Again, I’m sort of relieved. There will be PLENTY of time to cross that precarious relationship bridge later.

I am curious though to see what sort of girls they will be attracted to and who they will eventually start dating and/or marrying (though Dude insists he’s never getting married OR having children).

d. Spiritually: I hope Kevin and I have set a solid spiritual foundation for our boys. As you know, we don’t go to church, we prefer to listen/watch teachings from the Truth or Tradition ministry and we read a chapter out of the Bible every Sunday for Bible study.

Our boys know the foundational truths of the Bible and are quite confident (I hope) in their beliefs. They are more than welcome to look into other religions and weigh for themselves whether what we, or the ministry, has tried to teach them over the years. But either way, Kevin and I taught them about God’s wonderful mission for us and we hope they carry those lessons with them throughout their entire life.

I think it’s crucial to teach children about faith. I think, generally speaking, too many people are searching for answers throughout their life – and that can manifest into always moving from location to location, or never being satisfied with something or just having an overall feeling of discontent with their life. I firmly believe it’s largely due to the fact that they don’t feel comfortable, and/or grounded, in their spiritual life.

I pray the boys feel like they have solid ground under their feet and grow up satisfied and secure in their knowledge about our wonderful God and His son, Jesus Christ.

e. Educationally: For now, I would just like to see them graduate from high school. And not JUST graduate, but graduate with decent grades – something they can look back and be proud of later.

Right now, going to school are my boys’ jobs. I fully expect them to show up every day, to do their best and to perform above average. Education is about so much more than grades – it’s about commitment, consistency, success and failures. It’s about learning to manage all of those things and then manipulating those lessons into something concrete and beneficial later in life.

If parents aren’t taking their children’s education seriously, why should they expect their children to? Success is hard work and school lays the foundation for that success later.

I would like to see the boys go to college, but let’s be realistic – it’s not always necessary, depending on what they want to do in life. Kevin and I have had looooong talks with the boys about trying to find a career that interests them but at the same time, something they can make money at and support a family with. Fair or no, there is a lot more pressure on men to develop a solid career base so they can support a wife and children some day, than women.

We’ve also taught them that if they have children, someone needs to stay home and take care of those children whether it’s them, or their wife. If a person doesn’t want to make career sacrifices for children, then don’t have children.

f. Other: See above answers.

2. How will your children be educated this year? What are some resources you’d like to explore to help your children develop intellectually and academically?

The boys both go to a public high school. We are quite satisfied with their educational choices and though there are times their teachers are less than stellar, we have that option of stepping in and saying something about that. (In fact, we may have to do that with Dude’s math teacher. From what Dude says, his teacher is never there, he doesn’t grade tests for weeks and never hands the tests back so the kids can learn from their mistakes. It shows in his grade. IF we get to the point where we have to have a conference with his counselor, we will certainly bring those issues up. We firmly believe that if we, parents, want our public school system to get better, WE, the parents, have to step in and make it happen.)

There are a ton of intellectual and academic options for children nowadays. One such resource is the ACT test. Schools offer classes to help students prepare for the test, as well as online options to help students practice for the test. Dude and I went to the bookstore the other day and bought an ACT workbook to help him prepare to take the test for the first time in April. (Counselors recommend the kids take the test for the first time their Junior year, and then re-take it their Senior year. Colleges will then take their best test score).

It doesn’t matter how or where your children are educated, the resources are available, it’s just up to the parents, once again, to get involved and utilize those resources.

3. What are your children’s strengths? How will you help them use these well?

Dude’s strength is his focus and determination. When he wants to (and this is key), he has INTENSE focus and determination. He’s also very stubborn and though that can have negative connotations, I think overall, it’s a good trait to have.

Jazz is friendly and curious. He gets along with everyone he comes into contact with and he loves to ask questions and explore new possibilities.

Both boys are very smart. Jazz’s intelligence comes a little easier than Dude’s. Jazz has the ability to analyze and come to logical conclusions, it sometimes takes Dude a bit longer to come to the same conclusion, but once that light bulb goes off in Dude’s mind, he’s off like a rocket.

I make a point of reminding them of their strengths a lot. There is so much that can get them down and I think it helps to hear me back them up and to know that me and Kevin are always on THEIR side (within reason, of course. Now if they commit a crime, they must pay for that crime, but you know what I mean).

4. What are your children’s weaknesses? How will you help them overcome these?

Dude has a tendency to give up on things too quickly. If he doesn’t master something immediately, then he gets very frustrated. Again, it depends on what it is. If it means something to him, he will continue to try until he does master it, but if it’s something he doesn’t care too much about, it’s a real effort to make him go back and try again (I’m talking mainly about math, here). Dude also has a tendency to forget things, like basic elements. He remembers what he wants to remember and right now? The things he’s remembering will probably not serve him later in life and the things he’s forgetting (like basic math concepts) will probably cause him some hardships later in life.

Jazz is oblivious. He honestly doesn’t see things that are right in front of his eyes. He has a tendency to overlook things and just sort of go off into his dream world. I have to constantly tell him to pay attention to his surroundings. He also forgets things. Constantly. He has a one track mind and though that can be good in some things, overall, it might bite him in the rear-end later on.

V. Money Matters

1. What is one specific area of progress you’d like to see this year in your financial health?

Let me preface this section by saying, Kevin is an accountant. And we’re both very money conscious – as in CHEAP. We honestly don’t spend money that often and when we do, it MUST be on a good deal or something really worth it to us. As a result, we are debt free. We got this way by being frugal and working our tail ends off.

With that said, I’d really like to have more money in savings. We’ve worked and paid off our debt, so though we have some money in savings, it’s not as much as I’d like. This is especially important now that Kevin will be without a job beginning in March. Though I’m confident that he and I will return to the work force, full steam ahead, it would still be a peace of mind for me to have some money in savings to fall back, just in case.

Though I want to save money, I would also like to take advantage of our youth and LIVE a little, too. If this means taking awesome family vacations, then so be it. For us, right now, it’s more important that we make some awesome family memories than to have a lot of money saved up.

You can’t take it with you when you die, right?

2. How is your current income? In what ways can you make this increase?

I’ve mentioned this before – we’re in good shape, debt wise. Kevin is getting a severance package from his company and we’ll be fine for a while. We’re reached a threshold in our lives and now it’s just a question of figuring out which doorway we want to step through at this stage in our lives.

3. How much debt do you have? In what ways can you eliminate a sizeable portion of it (or all of it) this year?

See above.

4. How is your savings account? In what ways can you save more money this year?

See above.

5. What are some of your long-term financial goals? In what ways can you make progress on them this year?

Basically, at this point, we’re working on our retirement.

6. Are you giving regularly? If not, in what way can you give financially this year?

We give monthly to the Truth or Tradition ministry and every year at the holidays, we give a substantial amount of money to help our local foster children. We also regularly give to the Salvation Army in lieu of clothes and other usable items.

7. What is your plan this month for starting progress towards better financial health?

See above.

VI. Relationships Outside the Home

1. In what specific way would you like to grow in relating to your friends this year?

This is a weird section for me because I don’t have any friends. I just have Kevin and my family. I would LOVE to find that ONE girlfriend, a woman that I have a lot in common with, who doesn’t come with a lot of emotional baggage, who enjoys being married and has no desire to play the field, who loves her children but doesn’t live for her children, who has a sense of humor and is not afraid to speak her mind (but not so much that she’s insensitive or hurtful to those around her).

If you know of anyone like that, please apply within. 🙂

I have yet to find that special girlfriend but I would love to find her. There are days when I CRAVE that female friendship. *sigh* Perhaps my expectations are too high?

2. What are some ways you can be of service to your immediate community?

I currently maintain two local school websites for free. I feel I’m doing my community a service by providing valuable information to parents they might not otherwise receive (because we all know what happens to papers in backpacks, right?).

I would love to find more opportunities to do more, though. The problem with that is balancing the time required and not taking too much time from my job and/or family. There is such a thing as volunteering TOO much.

3. Who are some specific people in your life that can use some encouragement? What will you do to encourage them this year?

Well, there are my boys. They always need encouraging. Kevin needs a lot of positive re-enforcement right now given his job situation. I have a nephew that is at a crossroads in his life and I think Kevin and I can help him, if he’s willing to listen and take our advice.

I know of a woman who is having a rough time in her life right now. My first inclination is to step away from the situation as I am loathe to get myself into someone else’s drama, but if she needs me, I will certainly be there for her.

4. Who are some people in your life that you admire? What are some practical ways you can positively use their influence in your life?

I really admire Kevin. I admire his motivation and determination to get things done in life. My man doesn’t mess around. When there is something that needs to be done – he does it. He doesn’t waste time talking about it or lamenting about it – he just does it. I really need that right now, especially now.

I admire my next door neighbor and that’s quite by accident. I was going out to get the mail yesterday when I stumbled on a piece of paper laying in our yard. It was crumpled up and it must have blown out of his trash when his trash was picked up. It was a query letter. He was trying to sell his novel. That … was an eye opener for me.

That query letter should be MINE. I need to stop pussy-footing around and just do it, for pete’s sake.

5. Are there any damaging relationships in your life? What will you do this year to make these relationships better?

I think I have a few relationships that CAN be damaging. It might all depend on how I handle them. Again, I’m learning to keep my big mouth shut. Just because someone is not living their life to my expectations doesn’t mean it’s not the right kind of life for them.

I have a tendency to avoid damaging relationships. Life is too short for drama and if I can avoid any sort of drama, at all, I will.

I saw these questions over at Simple Mom’s and just couldn’t resist answering them. I love that they are detail-oriented because it’s one thing to say, “I’m going to lose weight” and quite another to actually list HOW you’re going to do that.

Ready?

(Feel free to write your own answers in the comment section. Or if you blogged about it, leave a link and I’ll pop over!)

I. Personal Growth

1. What healthy character traits would you like to see developed in your life this year? What are some specific steps you can take to develop these?

(Here is a list of character traits if you’re stuck for something specific).

A. Ambitious – I’m ready to expand my current business as well as work outside the home. I want to be so busy that my mind never has a chance to slow down and get sluggish. I will concentrate on building up my professional website as well as send out applications to bookstores (starting out as part-time and then seeing where that takes me).

B. Compassionate – I’m a hard nose. I don’t have a lot of patience for people who I perceive as being lazy and/or manipulative. I will actively work on seeing the situation from all sides and stop being so judgmental.

C. Creative – I will actively work on producing more writing this year. I can do it, I’m just scared to try. I will swallow my fear and jump in with both feet.

D. Devout – I will work on sharing my faith more, both here on this blog and in real life, when the opportunity presents itself. I have no wish to push myself on other people, but if people are searching and I can help, then I will help.

E. Relaxed – I will chill out. I think I’ve actually gotten better about this, but I still have some work to do. I am a very controlling person and I’m learning, bit by painful bit, to just let it go.

2. What is your plan for maintaining accountability for progressing in personal growth?

This blog is a pretty good place to write about my accountability. I mean really, what do you NOT know about me?

3. What are some of your learning goals for this year?

Ahh, easy one. I plan on learning more about CSS and Kevin and I want to take a photography class together.

We would also like to sign up and attend one-day computer seminars offered at a community college.

4. What books would you like to read this year?

I have a bookcase and two huge plastic containers full of books I need to read. That’s another goal of mine this year – READ, READ, READ. I can’t write unless I read.

You can keep track of the books I’m reading on my books page, if you’re interested.

5. Do you enjoy your job or jobs (include being a stay-at-home mother, if this pertains to you)? If so, what are your favorite things about your work? If not, what are some ways you can change this?

Yes. And no. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to stay at home with my boys, but now that they are teenagers and don’t need me around as much, I’m MORE than ready to get out into the world and get a job.

I do earn a little money on the side maintaining websites for local schools and I really enjoy that. I’d like to expand that and see where that takes me.

II. Physical Health

1. What is one area of progress you’d like to see this year for maintaining or improving your physical health?

I’d really like to tone up overall, but more specifically, my arms. I have really flabby arms and it takes a lot to get them into shape.

I’d also REALLY like to get a handle on my digestive tract. It’s slowing me down (if you know what I mean) and I need to accept the fact that now that I’m older? I can’t eat the same foods anymore.

And when I thumb my nose at that fact? I pay for it like a solid week.

It sucks.

2. What are some tangible, daily choices you can add to your life that will improve your health?

Watch what I eat – i.e. stay away from beans and chocolate.

Get back on my exercise routine. The problem is, I’d rather work out in the morning – just get it over with. But the mornings are when I’m the most mentally awake so if I’m going to get any writing done, it has to be in the mornings.

So, I need to discipline myself to workout at night. Which won’t be easy because I have a husband who demands attention.

The stinker.

3. In what way would you like to be physically healthier by December of this year?

More toned. About ten pounds lighter. And internally peaceful.

4. What is your plan this month for starting this progress towards a healthier you?

I was going to try and get started on my workout routine tonight, but Kevin has a gig so … scratch that.

I will start the treadmill beginning tomorrow night. I’ll alternate nights – treadmill, then EA Sports the next night. I have found that walking is KEY to getting me on an exercise track. (Ha! Pun intended).

III. Marriage & Family Life

If you’re married, proceed to question 1. If you’re single with children, you can skip to question 5.

1. What are some goals you have as a couple to strengthen your marriage?

We plan on taking a photography class together. Photography is one of the things we had in common when we first started dating and we’d like to get back into it and post bigger, better and more interesting photos to OUR photo blog. (http://writefromkarenphotos.wordpress.com)

2. In what ways can you grow in intimacy with your spouse this year?

I think it’s crucial to spend time together as a couple. Kevin is my best friend and as a result, we already spend so much time together. (Especially since I don’t have any girlfriends I hang out with so honestly, he’s like the only person I can talk – well, him and YOU all).

However, with that said, Kevin’s job is liquidating and come March, he will officially be unemployed. He may be around much more than I can stand, hence the reason I’ll most likely be looking for a job. A little space? Goes a looooong way.

3. What are your plans for having regular date nights? How will you handle childcare?

We have lunch dates. We go out to lunch every Wednesday and that will not change – even when he’s home full-time. (And as long as my schedule can accommodate it. But even if we can’t get together on Wednesdays, we’ll likely get together on some other day).

We’re lucky in the childcare arena – our boys are teenagers and can handle being on their own.

4. What plans will you make to pray and/or have “family meetings” together? What books would you like to read together this year?

We have Bible study, as a family, every Sunday morning at 10:00. We listen to a teaching from the Truth or Tradition ministry (either a video or audio) and then the boys take turns reading a chapter out of the bible.

The Truth or Tradition ministry offer many classes and we’re currently in the middle of Revelation. We plan on continuing these types of classes.

They have truly blessed us.

5. What will deliberate, regular family time look like this year?

This one is a toughie. Since our boys are teenagers and have their friends, school and other interests, it’s sometimes hard for us to get together as a family. Though we do eat as a family around the table every night for dinner, we really don’t DO much together in the way of entertainment, unless you count the times we go camping and our one family vacation every summer.

We’d like to get back to into the habit of playing board games again. We did that for a while, but then sort of fizzled out. I have the “Settlers of Catan” game on order and as soon as get that, we’ll likely start the games night routine once again.

6. Do you have specific planned vacation time in mind for this year? What needs to happen to make this vacation a reality?

Yes. We are planning on taking another cruise – IF we can financially swing it.

We try and take one big family vacation every year – we drove and camped in the Rockies one year – flew to Washington DC and did the museum thing one year, took a cruise to the Western Caribbean last summer and this summer, we want to go to the Eastern Caribbean. Even though it’s expensive, we figure, we only have a few years left with the kids before they graduate and start leading their own lives so we plan on taking advantage of the years we DO have with them.

We also took beach vacations in Florida several years. We’ve had some pretty awesome family vacations, actually.

You can’t BUY those kinds of memories, folks.

7. How is your current physical living space working for your family? Do you need to make changes to this? If so, what are they?

We live in a 1900 square feet ranch-style home – three bedrooms, one and a half bath, two living areas, a formal dining room and a galley-style kitchen – we are very comfortable living here. We feel like we have just enough space for all of us.

Oh sure, we’d love to have a bigger, brick home with a basement, but every time we contemplate that route, we think of the mortgage payment and since we have our current home paid off, we just don’t want to go down that particular road again.

We’ll improve our current house and stay debt free, thank you very much.

We do need to do something about parking cars, though. We had a partial driveway put in last year so Dude could drive his car into the backyard, but now that Jazz will be driving in another year (ACK!!) we’re running out of space. We don’t want to end up as THOSE eyesore neighbors who have a car junkyard in their backyard so we’re seriously thinking about building a garage. But geez louise that’s expensive so … we’re still looking at options on that problem.

I’m answering Simple Mom’s reflection questions over at (In)Courage today because it’s waaaay easier than trying to sum up my year on my own.

I’m lazy like that. 🙂

*Thanks to Jen at Momma Blogs A Lot for the head’s up.

___________________________

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

I’d have to say our cruise to the Western Caribbean. This was me and Kevin’s second cruise, the boys’ first. We booked the boys their own cabin so they were free to do their own thing on the boat and it was well worth the extra money. We had a blast.

We’re on a mission to top our family vacations every year. I wonder what we’ll do this year?

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Probably Kevin losing his job. Well, he didn’t lose it, per se, the company had to liquidate because they couldn’t obtain funding (none of the banks would loan them money – instead of using that wonderful stimulus money to help stimulate the economy, they held onto it and bought interests in flailing banks thereby growing their profit margins. Yeah, don’t get me started).

I think this might be a blessing in disguise though. Kevin now has the opportunity to try something new and different, which he’s been wanting to do for quite some time, and it also gives me an opportunity to find a job outside the home (I currently work from home, but business has been slow).

We refuse to look at this as a setback, but rather as an opportunity.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Jazz’s first high school band experience. I don’t know if it’s my inner musical self struggling to break free or what, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole band thing in September and October.

I’m a die-hard band mom now and I’m really looking forward to the next three years of band competitions.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Me. For some reason, that I can’t really explain, I was my own worst enemy this year. I just couldn’t seem to summon up the motivation required to GET ANYTHING DONE this year and that frustrates and angers me more than I can say.

I think I’ve been a little depressed this year. I’ve fallen into a rut and it’s time to shake things up a bit. And the fact that I’ve allowed myself to fall into this funk really ticks me off because if there is one thing I can’t stomach, it’s self-imposed weakness.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.

Growth. Stagnant. Depressing.

(Yes. I realize that sounds contradicting but, well, there you go).

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Unproductive. Self-serving. Frustrating.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).

Challenging. Stressful. Frustrating.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

According to how I rated the books I read in 2009, it looks like Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards and The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger were my favorites.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Definitely my boys. The older they get, the more they “get” me. And the more they “get” me, the more relaxed I am with them. Our relationship these past years has definitely been rocky, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I.E. the end of the teenage years.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Sadly, none. I can honestly say that I don’t feel like I challenged myself too much this past year. I’ve been complacent, lackluster, and downright lazy.

I’m more determined than ever to make changes in my life this year.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I grow emotionally nearly every day. I’m constantly challenging aspects of my personality and trying to BE a better person. I’m working on it.

I can honestly say that I believe I’m a much better person than I have ever been. I’m still pretty opinionated, egotistical and judgmental, but I’m learning that life? Is not always black and white, no matter how much I try and tell myself that.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

I think I’ve grown by leaps and bounds spiritually this year. I worked up the courage to post articles from the ministry that we follow, the Truth or Tradition ministry. This ministry works hard to teach people what the Bible says and how that often directly contradicts what “tradition” dictates.

I think it’s opened me up spiritually and I feel closer, and more comfortable, with God.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I’m not sure how to interpret this question. I’ve pretty much been the same size, physically, for a number of years now. I think I have finally reached a point in my life that I’m comfortable with my physical appearance.

In fact, I plan on writing an entire post about exercising and finding that “comfort” zone.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I’ve always been pretty tight with my immediate family. Kevin and I are stronger than ever and I’ve mentioned that I feel like I’ve grown closer to my boys.

Not so with my extended family. I feel our relationships have been grown apart and I think some of that stems from hurtful feelings and loss of respect.

I wish I could go into detail, but we’ll just have to leave it at that.

I will say, though, that I regret some things, but that overall, I think I’ve accepted that that’s just the way it is, I guess.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

I’m not a homemaker. Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom and I maintain websites from my home, I do not enjoy staying home. It’s lonely. I’m lonely. I’ve never aspired to be a SAHM and in some ways, I resent it. Though I’m very, very grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to stay home and watch the boys grow and have had a direct hand in shaping their personalities, there is still a part of me that misses not aggressively pursuing a career.

As a result of feeling this way, I have not been a very good homemaker. In fact, it’s safe to say, I downright stink at it. I’ve taken advantage of my husband and my feelings of resentment have colored my parenting skills at times.

I had the chance to be a really good homemaker, but I blew it. And I can quite honestly say, I don’t enjoy keeping house and have virtually no interest in making our home physically better. I’m content to just be comfortable and “make due.”

This is an area I definitely need to work on.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

With that said, I care about our home and want it to look nice. Our home is over 30 years old and it’s time to update and improve some areas. Kevin and I have sat down and made a list of things we’d like to improve around the house this year beginning with floors and kitchen.

I think the most challenging part of this venture is our different tastes. Kevin and I rarely agree on design styles and as a result, I tend to just give in because it’s easier. In some ways, I resent that, I think. Which may also account for my lousy homemaker skills.

It’ll be interesting to see how we handle these home improvements this year.

Correction: It’ll be interesting to see how I handle the home improvements this year.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Absolutely, positively, no doubt about it, the Internet. My blog and just recently, Twitter. I have to get control of this area of my life. It’s gotten out of control and in some ways, has really stunted my life in many areas.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Generally speaking, I’m a multi-tasker. So even though I’ve been on Twitter an INSANE amount of time, and have been paying an INSANE amount of attention to my blog, I have gotten other work done. I think better when I have several things going at once. But I definitely need to control my distractions a little (A LOT) better.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

That I need to keep my big mouth shut. Just because it’s on my mind, just because I want to say it, just because I CAN say it, doesn’t necessarily mean I SHOULD say it.

I’m DONE putting my foot in my mouth. I have made a deal with myself, I will think before I blurt and/or simply say nothing at all.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.

Thank God the nightmare is over. (This was Kevin’s statement when I asked him to sum up his year).

Thank God for my family. (Is my summary).

Ugh.

What day is it?

Are the holidays over yet?

Is this real life? (That’s a “David After Dentist” reference, right thar).

I feel like I’ve just come down from a seven day high.

We’ve been busy. Probably not as busy as most of you all, but for us, we’ve been busy. (Which is not really saying a whole lot given the fact that we’re homebodies and rarely step out of our house so you know, even going to the mailbox is a BIG DEAL in my house).

The boys have either had cousins staying the night, or they’ve been over at their cousins’ houses, or we’ve been having belated holiday parties or playing games with sisters (in-law).

Where do I even begin.

Wednesday, I picked the boys up from their cousins’ house early so we could rush home and they could get cleaned up before we were due to arrive at my parent’s house at 1:00. Though technically, my (ex) brother-in-law could have brought them over, I just couldn’t accept that.

Unwashed teenage boys are gross. Let’s be honest.

So, we came home, they got cleaned up and we went over to my folks.

(Sorry for the blurriness – I didn’t realize I had the camera on the wrong F-stop – Grr. More on that in a minute).

We ate.

(That’s my dad – say “Hi” everyone.)

And caught up on news.

(That’s my mom – hi mom! She is showing us her “hurry up and take the picture so I can eat” smile).

The kids clowned around.

(See?! Wrong F-stop! GRR!)

I took pictures of food.

(*Homer Simpson voice* Mmmm, deviled eggs).

And we settled in to open grandparent gifts and gag gifts.

(It looks like mom is lecturing us here, but I what I think is really going on is she’s slipped into a sugar coma).

My boys got money because they dropped the ball and didn’t give grandma a wish list (oops!). But, in my mom’s usual awesome way, she didn’t JUST give them money, she gave them money in a puzzle box that they had to solve before they could get their money out.

(And you only THOUGHT my mom was cool! Humpf!)

The boys REALLY thought that was cool, especially Jazz, because he’s just like his dad when it comes to puzzles – he loves them.

But wait. Our gifts from my parents also came in puzzle boxes in the form of gift cards and I won’t mention any names, but someone had to ask Jazz to help him/her figure it out so he/she could get to her, ER, HIS/HER gift card.

Ahem (Why yes, I AM that stupid).

And let me just say? These puzzle boxes? Are totally going into the in-laws’ gag gift goody bag next year. Heh.

(Dad was the videographer).

I just sat there and looked fat. (It’s the sweater I’m wearing – I SWEAR!)

This photo doesn’t really go with the rest of my story, I just liked M’s constipation face. Or maybe he’s confused. Or maybe both?

The gag gifts were fun. But you know, gag gifts are always fun, so I’m stating the obvious here.

A. ended up with my gag gift – a travel Scrabble. I KNOW! How freaking cool, right? And Dude ended up with M’s gag gift – wait for it ……. NUN CHUCKS! In the actual shape of NUNS!! HAHAHAHAHA!

M is totally our go-to gag gift guy, I’m telling ya. Dude really got a kick out of those NUN CHUCKS and is totally going to hang them from his car’s rear view mirror.

A real chick magnet, I’m sure. 🙂

Jazz got a voice alternating device and M got a Donkey Kong and Mario video key chain.

(M wanted to wear them as earrings, but I said, “Dude. That’s so not manly” and he resisted the urge. You’re welcome).

Side note: There were three wise men hanging from the ceiling. I didn’t learn, until Wednesday and after seeing these wise men my entire freaking life, that my dad cut them out of the skirting from the first trailer they, and I, for the first seven years of my life, lived in. My mom painted them with airplane model paint. I don’t know, I thought that was an interesting piece of family history that I didn’t know.

Come to think of it, I don’t know a lot ABOUT my family history, so I guess my not knowing about the origins of the wise men is all that impressive.

Where was I?

Again, another photo that doesn’t really have to do with anything, I just wanted to point out my mom’s pretty gray hair. And what the heck is hanging from her ceiling fan?!

Our get together was rather quiet, we were missing several members of out-of-town guests due to the snow storm that blew through Missouri Christmas day, but still, we had fun.

Family really is everything.

*****

I took several more pictures – you’ll likely see those on my photo blog. And speaking of which, one of the things that Kevin and I want to accomplish this year is to take a photography class together. We both love photography and it’s OBVIOUS I have no idea what I’m doing and I, for one, would like to learn how to take decent photos. So, I’m now on the hunt for an online photography class. It’ll probably be expensive, but we will likely only sign up one of us and then we can both work on the assignments and turn in our best effort for critique. It should be interesting – stick around. I’ll share my thoughts and tips from the class with you all so it’ll be like you’re ALL taking the class with us.

Mom loaded us up with goodies and I have only just eaten my way through the fudge. Good stuff but OY. I feel like a cow now. I will be getting back on the exercise wagon (or treadmill) very, very soon.

*****

Wednesday night, we went over to my sister-in-law’s house to play “Settlers of Catan.”

Oh. My. Gosh. We had fun. Each game took an hour and a half (we played two games) and Kevin won the first one and my brother-in-law won the second one. The second game was amazing – nearly the entire board was full and we were all neck-and-neck on points. It was really a lot of fun.

I had totally forgotten this, but we used to get together with them to play games waaaaaay back before we had children. Then the children came along and no one had the time, but now that the children are all grown, or nearly so, we have more time to do this sort of thing again. I’m really glad because I DIG board games, ya’ll.

*****

We stuck around the house for New Year’s Eve. We used the gift card my parents gave Kevin for his birthday (thanks again, guys!) to take the family out to eat at Ryan’s Steakhouse, then we came home and watched Terminator Salvation and The Patriot. We DID pause The Patriot long enough to yell HAPPY NEW YEAR at the stroke of midnight, but then we resumed the film and that was the extent of our celebration.

We’re exciting like that.

And here we are. It’s New Year’s Day and I’m fighting to stay awake (I’m running on five hours of sleep). There’s a fire in the fireplace (which by the way, I singed the carpet – our BRAND NEW CARPET – AARGH!), Kevin just finished taking the lights down outside and the boys are entertaining my nephews, who are over for the last time before winter break is over.

It’s a beautiful, but cold, sunny day and I’m sitting here trying to accept the fact that another year is over.

O.V.E.R.

It boggles the mind, doesn’t it.