Category: Life

Written Thursday night

At this moment, I’m sitting in an empty, deserted office at my husband’s company. It’s 8:18 p.m. and I brought my laptop with me so I could work on another story for the NaNoWriMo challenge.

I came with Kevin because he asked me to. I came because I love him. And I could see he needed me. I’m not any help to him as far as his work, everything he does is alien to me, but I’m helping him by simply BEING here. It’s what married people do for one another.

He’s been extremely stressed, depressed and generally sad these past several weeks … and here’s why:

I’ve mentioned that Kevin’s company is shutting down. And they’re shutting down not because they were failing, but because they were succeeding.

In order to continue operations, they needed a loan, which at any other time, wouldn’t have been a problem obtaining. But the (stupid, asinine, irresponsible, debt-happy … I could go on) government felt it was necessary to smooth over the banks bad financial decisions and bailed them out by giving them an insane amount of money. But this spooked the banks so bad that they held on to that money and wouldn’t loan it out to people who needed it, like my husband’s company. So the bailout plan? Not only failed, it caused quite a few companies to close down – good, solid companies that didn’t deserve this to happen to them.

How’s that hope and change working out for ya? Because guess what? It didn’t work at all for us.

Anyway, I’m not spilling any secrets by telling you this, it’s all quite public. Since Kevin is the CFO of the company, he has to stick around to the bitter end. Gradually, over the past several weeks, they’ve been forced to let some people go. It’s been emotionally draining for Kevin because he liked these people and he enjoyed working with them and he felt bad for them, as if he somehow failed them in some way, though this series of unfortunate events had nothing to do with him and everything to do with our idiot government.

Anyway, he has had a mountain of paperwork to wade through and various hoops he’s had to jump through and a sea of lawyers to deal with and it’s all just building up inside him. He wants to do a good job, and he will, but there’s a lot riding on his shoulders and the man is only human.

I was pretty freaked out by all of this at first. When he told me what was going on, I was scared. We were losing our primary source of income. And though I can, and likely will, get a job, and I’m certain he’ll get another job later on down the road, it’s still … disconcerting to say the least. Our world has been shaken – along with millions of other people.

But now? Now I’m ready for it to be over with. I can see the toll it’s taking on Kevin and it kills me to see him like this. He’s losing sleep and work is never far from his mind. I often catch him staring off into space thinking about what needs to be done, what he has done, if it was done right … and on and on.

The poor man.

I’m ready to move on to the next chapter of our lives. And I know he’s ready. He’s ready to take some much deserved time off. He needs some time he can just sit back and think about … nothing, preferably. But I know that won’t happen because he’s just the kind of man who likes to stay busy.

Now, I’m sitting here, in this empty office, an office that someone used to occupy, I might add, and look around at all the empty cubicles and all the art on the wall that will soon be sold and it’s just a shell of its former glory. I remember walking in here and seeing all sorts of personal objects on desks – pictures of families, plants, jackets slung over chairs, bags of candy sitting next to computer monitors and now? Now all I see are empty business card holders and desk calendars dating back to June 2009 – the moment that time stood still for the individual that used to occupy this office.

And then there are the boxes. There are boxes everywhere.

It’s all so sad. So, so sad.

Kevin’s office is next to the office I’m currently using. And I can hear him in there, at 8:30 at night, making business calls to the SEC, trying to straighten out misunderstandings and confusing legal verbiage. I hear a completely different version of the man I married; I hear his intelligence, his determination and his weariness.

I can’t wait for this to be over for him.

ADDED at 7:30 Friday morning: I won’t pretend to know what’s going on, I’m simply not smart enough to grasp all of the filings and reports that Kevin has to do, but a mistake was made on one of the filings and Kevin had had to send it back. The company working on it is open 24 hours a day, so they would have the corrected version for him to approve at 2:00 in the morning.

2:00 A.M.

He finished up his work and we came home. And at two o’clock in the morning, he had to get up, check his email for the file (which arrived at 2:30) and approve it. Only the company got it wrong again and he had to send it back again. This went back and forth a few more times and finally, it was ready at 3:30 this morning.

Again, I don’t understand the urgency, something about it having to be filed by a certain time today, but my point is – the man is being worked to death right now. And he’s so tired. His eyes were red-rimmed and glassy this morning.

He has another busy day ahead of him today and then he has a gig at The New Key Largo tonight (bad timing!!). Things like this are always piling up for Kevin. It’s like the devil takes great pride in trying to knock him around.

But Kevin doesn’t allow it to happen. He just grits his teeth and pounds his way through the muck.

Dear God, let all of this be over soon.

Please.

UPDATED: Just read that the unemployment rate is now up to 10.2%. And yet, we’re told the economy is getting better.

We are just ONE story out of MILLIONS.

Is it 2012 yet?

Yesterday was a terrible, no-good day.

I took Jazz in to get his braces.

I warned him. I told him he would be uncomfortable, that there would probably be pain. I’ve been through this with Dude, I knew what to expect.

I braced myself.

I picked Jazz up from school at 11:00 yesterday. Everything ran smoothly. I gave him a note, he took it to the attendance office, he got a pass and at 11:00, he left class.

I was sitting outside the school doors when he called me.

“Mom. Where are you?”

“I’m sitting out here waiting for you.”

“I don’t see you.”

“There’s a Pepsi truck in my way, I couldn’t pull all the way up.”

“Well, do I just leave? I feel weird just leaving. What if they think I’m trying to skip or something?”

“You got a pass, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then come on out.”

“I feel weird. Can you walk up here and get me?”

So, I did. Even though he’s growing up, it warms my heart that he still needs me on some level. 🙂

We arrived at the orthodontist and they were waiting for him. There was only one other patient/parent in there, so we had the place to ourselves. They took Jazz back to get the process started (he had his iPod with him, I was hoping that would help distract him and make time go by faster for him – yes to both), and I got to sit down and do the really fun stuff.

Work out the payment contract.

Yay.

After signing my left arm and part of my right leg away, we got our bill settled and I left. Jazz was scheduled to be in the chair for 90 minutes, so I thought I would take advantage of that time to write on my laptop in the car in the parking lot. It was a beautiful day, not too hold, not too cold, it would be quiet, an ideal situation, really.

I have an outlet in my car. (How cool is that?!) Only, you have to have the car battery turned all the way on, as in, the warning lights on the dashboard and lights on sort of on when I thought all it would take was just a click of the key when just the radio comes on.

No. I would either have to run my battery down, or leave the car running and that let’s face it – that’s a stupid alternative.

So, I went home.

Again, I planned on doing a little writing in the hour that I had left before he was scheduled to be done, but I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was Jazz, in that chair, having metal railroad tracks put into his mouth.

I was on my way back to the office, when Jazz called. He sounded garbled and really miserable and I nearly started crying.

There’s a part of me that wonders if we made the right decision with him. Jazz’s teeth are … borderline, really. They are crooked. They are crowded. Some are even twisted around, and he has a few that nearly overlap one another, but honestly? They don’t LOOK that bad.

And you know, so what if he has crooked teeth, right?

But here’s the thing. What if it bugs him later on in life? What if he becomes self-conscious about them and then uses the old, “you paid for Dude’s teeth – why didn’t you pay for mine? Do you LOVE Dude more than me?”

Perhaps I’m exaggerating, but I think about these things. I just don’t want to regret NOT doing something when we COULD.

No one really knows this, aside from Kevin, but this decision has PLAGUED me ever since we gave the green light.

Did we do the right thing?

I got to the office in time to hear the proper brushing, don’t eat certain foods, what to do if a bracket comes loose or a wire pokes him speech.

Again, I’ve been through all of this with Dude, so I sort of tuned the assistant out and concentrated on Jazz. In fact, the dentist (who’s really hot, I might add), came over to shake Jazz’s hand and I barely looked at the man – I only had eyes for my son.

He was clearly miserable. And close to tears. And oh my gosh, I’m crying as I type this. I feel like such a BAD MOTHER. Here I am, torturing this poor boy and … for what?! A pretty smile? A confident demeanor?

Dear God, I hope it’s worth it.

He didn’t go back to school after his appointment, obviously. He had thought he would want to, (he’s such an optimist), but I vetoed the idea because I knew what it would be like for him.

Dude had his braces put on during the summer, so we didn’t have the whole school issue to deal with. And then when he did go to school, he had gotten used to his braces by that point and it wasn’t a big deal.

But this is different. Jazz DOES have school to worry about and UGH, I’m second guessing myself.

He couldn’t eat his dinner last night, even though Kevin cooked up some chicken and rice. He ate some rice and some noodles, but very little chicken.

The poor boy can’t chew, it hurts too bad.

I loaded him up on Extra-Strength Tylenol (that stuff works great for him) and he said he actually got some sleep last night. He looked better this morning, but his mouth still looks swollen.

I made him some pancakes and he was able to eat nearly two of them before giving up. He tried to put in some wax before school (they give you wax when you get braces in case it rubs against your gums and makes them sore), but it kept slipping off and he got very frustrated with that.

Jazz is a lot like me, he has zero patience for stuff like that.

I again gave him some Tylenol before we left and he worked on trying to put in some wax on our way to school.

He was finally successful, thank goodness.

And yes, he went to school today.

I nearly kept him home. I thought it over, weighed the pros and cons and I thought it actually might be better for Jazz to go to school and be distracted as opposed to staying home and thinking about how much it hurt all day long.

Again, I hope I made the right decision.

I gave him soft foods in his lunch, but I don’t expect him to eat much.

I do worry about what his friends will say, but he warned them and quite frankly? A LOT of kids have braces nowadays and it’s simply not that big of a deal, not like it was when I was his age.

I just told him to shrug them off and say, “Hey man, you might as well get over it. I’m going to have them for quite a while.”

He was very subdued and quiet last night. It really bothered Kevin – and we talked, again, on whether we made the right decision with him or not.

It’s honestly borderline, folks. We probably could have gotten away with not doing anything with him? But then again … ?

I’m torn. I’m sick. I HATE THIS PART OF PARENTING! Wondering if you did the right thing. Second guessing your decisions. Putting your child through so much discomfort.

Thankfully, the kids are out of school tomorrow. So, he’ll have three whole days to recoup and adjust before heading back to school on Monday. He just has to get through today.

And today will probably be the worst day. The soreness will have settled in on top of the tightness. But as the days go by, that will lessen and pretty soon, they won’t bother him and he’ll have gotten used to them.

Believe it or not, this is NOTHING compared to what we went through with Dude. His teeth were unquestionably bad. He actually had to go through two phases – phase one was stretching his upper palete and phase two was straightening. He wore his braces for a total of four years overall – one year in third grade, and then three years from 8th to 11th.

And yes, I went through this same guilt trip with him, too. Even more so, quite frankly. But now that it’s all over and the braces have come off? Dude is CONFIDENT. I’ve never seen this side of him – ever. He holds his head up higher. He just seems so …. sure of himself now.

Yes, part of it is because he’s older, but I honestly think part of it is because he knows he looks good and he likes what he sees in the mirror every morning.

I want to give that same confidence to Jazz. I know I can’t MAKE the boy have confidence, but if I can provide him the tools, like say, straightening his teeth, to help him reach that confidence level, then I believe it’s my job, as his mother, to see that it happens.

I’ve had to be so strong for him, when all I really want to do is rock him like a little baby and comfort him (which, I sort of did. I’ve hugged and kissed him more in the past 24 hours than I have in probably the last 24 months – mainly because he’s allowed me to), but he feeds off my reaction, so if I’m strong, he’ll be strong. If he sees me break down and cry, then he will cry.

Jazz has always been that. He sometimes needs that emotional crutch in order to handle things. I learned that a long time ago.

So, yeah, it’s been a tough 24 hours. But his mouth will heal, he’ll get used to the new hardware and life will go on – this is what I have my eye on, that point in time.

He doesn’t have to go back for 12 weeks. They said that the type of wire they used will do the job for that long – so that’s a plus. They also had to cap two of his upper molars because of his overbite and that should also speed up his treatment by about a month, they said. So hopefully, Jazz will not have to wear them more than 24 months, if it all works out like it’s supposed to.

Thank God I only have two children, I don’t think my heart could take going through this a third time.

UPDATED: I was relieved to see that Jazz was back to his old self after I picked him up from school; I’m glad we sent him. It served to distract him enough that he was able to get through the day. He was peppy and had a lot of things to tell me about his day.

The Tylenol worked great and he wasn’t that uncomfortable. His friends were just sort of “Meh” on the whole braces thing (which I knew they would be, so many kids have braces nowadays), he was able to put a bigger chunk of wax in his mouth to help with the soreness and all is right with the world once again.

I still have doubts (what mom doesn’t, I suppose), but it was nice to see he was rebounding from the experience. He now has three days to relax and recoup and should be back to a semi-comfortable place by Monday.

We lost Dude this weekend.

Well, briefly.

Saturday, we went driving. He’s really been wracking up the practice and he’s really turning into a good driver. He still has problems checking his mirrors and looking for traffic, but we’re working on it.

If he can handle a stranger being in his car, then he should pass the driver’s test. We’ll see. I thought about taking him up to retake his test this coming Friday (the kids are out of school) but I’m not sure he’s quite ready, to be honest. I think he needs just a bit more practice.

Shortly after we got home, some friends of Dude’s stopped by. I’ve known one of the boys for a few years now, so I felt fairly comfortable with him.

They wanted to take Dude to the mall and hang out for a bit.

“Sure! Have a good time!” I said as I gave him some money and watched him take off with his two buds.

A few hours went by and I called him.

“Hey Dude, your dad and I want to go out for BBQ, do you want to come along or do you want to eat dinner with your friends?”

He said he would call me back.

Forty-five minutes later (Grr), I called him to ask him what the dealio was with dinner.

His buddy asked him to spend the night (which I knew would happen) and I said, “Sure! Why not.”

So, the guys dropped him back off at our house and he got his stuff ready while they ran to buy some energy drinks at Wal-Mart.

In the meantime, Kevin and I are starving, so we told Dude to lock up when his friends came back and picked him up and we’d see him in the morning.

And we took off.

We had a scrumptious dinner (we’re so going back there for my birthday dinner) and when we came home, we noticed that every shade in the house was open, the house was in view of God and the world because it was dusk and every light in the house was on, and the front door was standing wide open.

WTH?!

So yeah, Dude left the house wide open – little stinker. But quite honestly folks, I was so tickled that a few of his buddies wanted him to hang out, without parental supervision and to do something normal, like hang out at the mall, that I was willing to overlook the house situation. After all, this was Dude’s first time doing something like this and I knew he was excited about going out that well … he’s a teenage boy, what can I say.

Sunday morning, he calls about 8:00 ready to come home. The conversation went a little something like this:

“Hey mom. I’m ready to come home. D’s dad is going to bring me home, but I need directions to our house.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. You don’t know where I am and …”

“Wait, what?”

“What do I tell him?”

The kid threw me for a loop. I thought he was going to D’s house, and he had, only he had gone to D’s DAD’S house, not his MOM’S (I didn’t even know they were divorced) and I had no idea where that was.

Swell.

I’ll be honest. I was thrown for a loop or I might have insisted on getting the man’s address and getting him myself, but instead, I said,

“Just tell him our address. Or better yet, tell him we live a few blocks from the firehouse on such-and-such street.”

“Okay. I’ll be home about nine.”

“Okay.”

And I freaking hang up!

I’m such a dork.

After the shock of him not being where I thought he was all night long, I tried to call Dude back to get more information, only when I tried to call Dude, all I got was the following message:

“I’m sorry. That number is temporarily unavailable.”

Okay, now my imagination takes off at warp speed. I don’t know where the kid is, I can’t reach him on his cell phone, which means, he must be out of the area in the BOONIES somewhere with D’s dad, whom I don’t know!

PANIC!!

I’m trying hard not to freak out and I try Dude’s cell phone several more times. Same message.

So, I sit and think about why his cell phone is giving me that message. If he was out of the area, wouldn’t it just go straight to voice mail? Something was fishy.

So, I signed onto his account online only to see, he had run out of time and his balance was $0.10. I thought I had set up the automatic top-up feature but apparently?

No.

Parenting FAIL!

So, I quickly put more money on it (setting up the auto top-up feature, too), and Kevin called him.

He picked up.

Kevin got the guy’s address, we Map Quest it (he wasn’t that far, NOT in the boonies like I had envisioned) and he went to pick him up.

It all ended well, but we all learned a lesson – we need to ask more questions before saying yes next time. Dude needs to tell us if he ends up somewhere different than where we thought he was going and to make sure the house is locked up if he’s the last to leave.

I’m very proud of myself. I did not lose my temper, I did not freak out and it was mainly because I didn’t want to spook Dude from doing something like this again. This was the first time he took the initiative and wanted to do something with his friends and I was thrilled. I don’t want to stunt his independence because I freaked out over something that I should have straightened out to begin with.

At any rate, I’m pretty sure I lost a year of my life this past weekend by not knowing where he was at or how to get a hold of him.

Lesson learned.

---

Jazz’s band had their last marching competition of the season Saturday.

We dropped Jazz off at the school at 9:00 and they took off for Columbia at 9:30.

They performed at Mizzou’s Champion of Champions competition and I’m proud to report that they came in SECOND!! Jazz said that that was by far the best they’ve ever performed.

I can’t believe the phenomenal season the kids have had. I’m REALLY looking forward to another season next year and I can’t wait to see what kind of program the band director comes up with!

I’m not sure what happens in band now that marching is over. I’ve heard the kids go on to concert and if that’s the case, Jazz will switch out his gold sax for his black sax – and he’s really looking forward to using it again.

Next semester, he’ll be in Jazz band, so I’m sure there will be performances for that, too.

Thanks for sticking it out with me as I chronicle our experiences. It’s been amazing and I know it’s been an overwhelmingly positive experience for Jazz, who can’t wait to do it all over again next year!

Dude came to me yesterday and said, “Mom. I need help. I am tired ALL the time.”

“What? Why, are you falling asleep in class?”

“No. Well, almost. I can’t concentrate.”

“Do you think you need to go to the doctor?” (I don’t know why I asked this, going to the doctor is ALWAYS our last option).

“I don’t know.”

Hmm, the fact that he said he wasn’t sure instead of an immediate “no” caught me off guard.

“Why don’t we try some things first before we go to the doctor.”

“Okay.”

“Because I can tell you right now, son, they are going to suggest you change your diet, are going to ask about your sleeping habits and if you exercise. Then, they’ll probably give you drugs. Because that’s ultimately what people want when they go to the doctor – they want a pill for whatever ails them.”

He shrugged.

“Tell you what,” I said, “tonight, why don’t you walk a mile on the treadmill and drink a protein drink. Then, in the morning, eat a bigger breakfast, something more than just cereal, do some jumping jacks and push-ups to get your blood flowing and you can have a little coffee. Do you want to try that?”

“Sure.”

And that’s exactly what we did. We’ll see if it makes a difference.

Me and Jazz were in the car this morning waiting for Dude.

I honked the horn several times.

Still, he didn’t come out.

When the clock continued to tick toward the dangerous if we don’t leave right now we’re going to be late time, I got out and was walking into the house when Dude came out.

“Let’s go, son! We’re going to be late!”

“I can’t find my homework.”

“Your math homework?”

“Yep. But forget about it. We don’t have time.”

We got into the car and I was pulling out of the driveway when I said, “Did you check the papers on the counter?”

“Yeah.” But he didn’t sound too sure.

I pulled back into the driveway and together, we ran into the house to check the papers out on the counter.

His homework was not there.

“Okay, we don’t have time for this. We’ve gotta go,” I said and we jumped back into the car and zoomed off to school.

“Maybe dad threw it away.”

“That’s possible. You know your dad, if it’s sitting around and in the way, it irritates him and he tosses it. I’ll check the trash when I get home.”

“Nah. Don’t bother. I’ll just re-do it.”

“Dang it, Dude! You need to put your stuff away! You went through all of that for nothing. Now you have to do it again.”

Dude is not the best organizer in the world.

He shrugged and I dropped the kids off. I came home and checked the trash – no homework.

Now I’m curious. Paper can’t just develop legs and walk off (unless it’s from Bent Objects then, who knows). Where in the world was Dude’s homework?

Kevin and I met for lunch and he suggested that it was somewhere in the black hole that Dude calls his backpack.

Maybe.

I picked the kids up from school.

“Did you find your homework?”

“Nope.”

“Wow. This is frustrating.”

“Tell me about it.”

We came home.

“Jazz, you might want to make a trip to the bathroom and brush your teeth, your dentist appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

“Hey mom,” Dude said.

“Yep?” I said while scanning for new email.

“I found my homework.”

“Where was it?”

“Near the XBox.”

“Ohhh yeah,” I said. “I remember you went in to watch Jazz play his game after you and dad finished your homework. Oops.”

Dude grinned.

“What’s up buddy? Is something wrong?” I asked Jazz as we pulled up in front of the dentist’s office.

“Nothing.”

This is the part where I ask 20 questions. I know, from experience, if I happen on the right question then, and only then, will Jazz confide in me.

“Is it school?”

“No.”

“Is someone giving you a hard time?”

“No.”

“Is it band?”

“No.”

“Is it your friends?”

Silence.

Ah.

“Is A. being a butt again?”

“No.”

“Does it have anything to do with the girl you thinks likes you?”

Silence.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jazz said.

We walked into the office, Jazz signed in and is called back shortly thereafter.

In the meantime, I’m running scenarios through my head. It could be a number of things. Jazz tends to get his feelings hurt pretty easily and often times, it ends up being a misunderstanding or he made a bigger deal out of something than he should have.

The dental assistant comes out with Jazz and gives me brief instructions on the spacers she put into his teeth. He’ll need to wear them for a week in preparation for his braces next Wednesday.

As soon as we get back into the car, “So, tell me what’s bugging you.”

“It’s complicated, mom. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Does it have something to do with H.?”

He shrugged.

“You can tell me. I won’t say anything, I’ll just listen. Sometimes it’s nice just to get it off your chest.”

He shook his head and stared out of the window.

After we got home and he had had a chance to settle in his room, I approached him again.

“Okay, tell me what is going on.”

“No.”

“Okay, fine. But remember this, whatever it is, it’s not the end of the world and if your friends see that it bugs you, they’ll just keep doing what they’re doing. And you know what? If H. is not interested in you like you’re interested in her, then whatever. Be friends with her. It’s her loss. You’re a wonderful, thoughtful and caring person, don’t get sucked into the drama. Okay?”

“Okay.”

And thus continues my life with two teenage boys.

The first quarter of Dude’s Junior year is over.

The first quarter of Jazz’s Freshman year is over.

The remaining three quarters will zoom by and I’ll be left staring at a SENIOR and a SOPHOMORE.

I’m sorry, WHEN exactly did my boys grow up, again?!

This next quarter will drag – the second quarter always does, even though we’ve got Thanksgiving and Winter break (because God forbid we call it Christmas break).

However, the third and fourth quarters? Will ZOOM by. I will blink and the end of the school year will be upon us.

The boys’ classes didn’t change overly much. Dude finished ACT Prep and Personal Finance (LOVE that Personal Finance is a required class – he learned the stone-cold truth about taxes and how he will be paying for our gluttonous’ government spending when he reaches ADULTHOOD. Thanks for that, Obama). Dude now has P.E. and Drawing II.

He doesn’t exactly LIKE Drawing, but he needs the class to satisfy his fine art requirement (since he doesn’t participate in music, like Jazz). I think the class is good for him, though. It teaches him to tap into the creative part of his brain.

I’m happy about the weight lifting class. Even though it will be tough on him at first, because of his sedentary lifestyle, (the boy never exercises – he sits in front of his computer all the time), he will eventually adjust and he’ll have MORE energy. He’ll also develop muscles in his arms. How do I know this? Because he took the weight lifting class last year for P.E. credit. (You can take it more than once). I just hope he keeps his hands clean and away from his face because weight lifting and germs? Yeah, hand-in-hand. (HA! There’s a pun right thar).

(This picture doesn’t have anything to do with anything, I just think it’s cute and Dude looks so studious wearing my mother-in-law’s glasses. This was also, like, another lifetime ago).

I’d like to take a moment to brag on Dude a moment. I don’t know if the kid is trying extra hard because he wants to measure up in our eyes, or if he’s “competing” for our attention because we’ve been giving Jazz so much attention via his marching activities, but Dude has been working his BUTT off these past several weeks. I’ve mentioned before that math and Dude simply doesn’t mix. He comes by this math struggle honestly – I stink at math.

But I will be the first to admit that Dude is MUCH smarter than I am and especially when it comes to math. But that’s a subject that he simply STRUGGLES with. Algebra II is “technically” the last math class he has to have in order to graduate. So, if we could juuuust get past this hump, he can move on to other classes that have math, but are more interesting to him, like computer programming.

He has been willingly spending HOURS studying and practicing math problems. And though Kevin has had to help him past a few speed bumps, for the most part, the kid is doing it on his own.

Dude’s math teacher allows the kids to re-take one test per quarter. Considering there was one test that Dude completely messed up on, he got up early on the allotted day and I made a special trip up to the school so he could take it before his first class.

He ended up getting a B on it. I was proud of his improved grade, but I was MORE proud of his maturity and his willingness to work, just a little harder, in order to get that better grade. I’m so proud of his motivation and his DESIRE to do well. And I think the experience has served to reassure me that this kid? Is going to do okay in life. 🙂

Jazz finished P.E. (thank goodness. I always breathe a sigh of relief when ever he has P.E. at the beginning of the year as opposed to in the spring because of his allergies) and now has health which he ALREADY despises.

Since Dude finished the ACT Prep course and now has a pretty good idea what to expect from the actual ACT course, we’ve been talking about possible test dates.

He’s a little freaked out about the whole thing – mostly because of the math. He’s not sure he’ll remember everything, but we’ll make a trip to Barnes and Noble and find some study material for him. The counselors suggest the kids take the ACT test their Junior year, sort of as a practice test, and then take it again their Senior year because by then, their scores are better and will look more attractive to colleges.

So, that’s what we plan on doing.

Dude and I talked it over, and I’m going to sign him up to take the ACT in April. I really want him to take the test as soon as possible while all of the material is still fresh in his mind. I made the mistake of waiting to take the ACT several years after high school and wow, my score was terrible. I won’t even tell you my score. I haven’t even told my family, but suffice it to say, it’s BAD. I think the only reason I got into college to begin with was because I was an older student and they A. felt sorry for me and B. wanted to meet their older student quota.

So … April 10th Dude will take the ACT test.

I’m really anxious for this second quarter to end. Dude will have completed (and hopefully made a decent grade in) Algebra II and can go on to computer programming. And Jazz will have Jazz Band (it’s an actual CLASS!) which means he’ll have to forfeit a required course in order to take Jazz band and that will give me a pretty good idea what class he’ll need to make up in the summer and I can start making plans for our traditional summer family vacation.

Hey, I’m a planner, what can I say. 🙂

When I was in high school, we didn’t have NEARLY the class options that the kids have nowadays (I sound like such an old fogey). We had the same classes ALL YEAR long and now, the kids not only have several options, but a lot of the elective classes are only a quarter long so there’s really no chance to get bored with them. I wonder, if we had had the same sort of class variety back in my high school days, if I would have liked school any better.

Nah. Probably not.

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UPDATE: Just picked the kids up and Dude told me that he was taken out of P.E. (something about the weight room is reserved for athletes during this quarter) and moved to Civil War. Alrighty then. I can’t keep up with these kids!

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My boys could not look any more different. My boys could not BE any more different.

And neither boy looks anything like me. Well heck, look for yourself.

(Me and Dude)

(Me and Jazz)

Now granted, Dude has my darker coloring. And he’s tall, which seems to run in my family. But his eyes are close, sort of like Kevin’s. And I can’t tell you how many people have said that Dude looks like Kevin – I still don’t see it. (Though they do sort of have the same mouth).

Jazz is fair skinned and blond. And if you compare Jazz’s baby picture to Kevin’s baby picture, the two are nearly identical. There is no question that Jazz has a lot of his father’s family in him.

So when the boys came along and not only didn’t look like me but didn’t look like each other, I admit, I was a wee bit disappointed. I envy mothers who have children that look like each other and there is no doubt that they are siblings.

My boys don’t really resemble each other in any way – either in looks OR personality.

I’ve gotten speculative looks. And I know some people were dying to ask me if they had the same father … and I’m here to tell you, they have the same father. It’s just when it came time to throw the second embryo into that gene pool, someone did a really good job of mixing it up and then adding a few ingredients in just for good measure.

Not only do the boys not look anything alike, they have completely different personalities. Which has been a HUGE challenge for me, as their mother, to parent them over the years. I can’t handle Dude the same way I handle Jazz.

Dude has my temper. And he’s really quiet. I’m lucky if I can get him to respond in more than one syllable to me. I’ve learned to not really give Dude an option. If I want him to do something, I give him two options, one of which he’s expected to pick. I simply can’t tell him what to do anymore, it’s a constant negotiation and the boy is sharp. He’s old enough to see through my little bag of tricks and he’s smart enough to give me counter arguments, ones that I sometimes don’t have a rebuttal for. It’s quite annoying.

The most effective discipline for Dude is to take his computer away from him. He goes absolutely berserk when that happens. And we’re really cruel about it, too. We don’t physically take his computer away, we take his power cord away. So he’s forced to stare at it but know he can’t use it.

I know that sounds terrible, but it’s effective — we don’t have any problems with Dude misbehaving, let me tell you. But he’s a good kid. He truly is. He’s kind, and soft hearted and really smart, much smarter than he gives himself credit for.

I have learned to keep my mouth shut around him. He knows, only too well, how and when to push my buttons and of course, there are times I allow him to do so. So now, it’s much smarter on my part to simply say what I have to say and walk away from him. He will stew about it for a bit, but he generally comes around eventually.

Dude will fight sleep with every fiber of his being. He’s a night owl, so he would prefer to stay up until 4:00 a.m. and sleep until 1:00 p.m., if I allowed him. But of course, that’s not possible given, you know, REAL LIFE. So Dude and I have had some MAJOR sleep battles over the years. It’s settling down now though. He has a bed time during the week, but can stay up later on the weekends.

Now taking things away from Jazz doesn’t work. He just finds something else to do and he’s perfectly content to settle for option B. That boy could entertain himself with a paper towel tube and a rubber band – oh wait, he has. He can find entertainment in the smallest things. That’s great, overall, to be able to use your imagination like that, but it really sucks when you’re trying to be a disciplinarian.

Jazz is stubborn. And by that I mean, that boy won’t budge when he sets his mind on it. I remember when he was a baby, and I would feed him veggies or fruit, he would hold that food in his mouth FOR AN HOUR before I finally gave up and told him to spit it out. I’ve had to learn the fine art of compromise with Jazz. Dude is pretty stubborn, too, but Jazz takes the prize.

Jazz has no concept of hurry. We’ll be running late and it’s as if Jazz deliberately slows down either to push my button, to avoid the stress of the situation; he doesn’t care if he’s late or maybe he simply thinks it’s no big deal, I don’t know. All I do know is that it drives me insane.

Jazz HAS GOT TO HAVE SLEEP. He simply can not, and will not, function if he’s tired. Even as a baby, he was inconsolable when it came time to sleep. I couldn’t keep him awake to save my life. So sleep? Has never been an issue between me and Jazz.

I’d have to say that Dude is most like me, hence the reason we clash so much, but I definitely see my stubborn streak in Jazz. I wouldn’t go so far as to say either one of my kids are a carbon copy of me and you know what? I’m glad. In fact, I’m downright relieved. I think they have an eclectic mix of me and Kevin’s personalities and I hope our parenting skills (or lack thereof) have helped mold them into great people.

Wait, what am I saying, THEY ARE GREAT PEOPLE. We’re very blessed to have such awesome children.

Truly.