Category: Life

(Apparently, I’m over my “hide from the world” funk. *grin*)

I mentioned that my in-laws came over to visit Sunday.

And while catching up on family news, they mentioned that one of my nephews, M, had just gotten back from visiting his girlfriend …

… his Internet girlfriend …

… in Canada …

… for the first time, even though they had been chatting online via Skype for months.

Does anyone find that strange?

I have to tell you , I don’t.

Well, I was a little surprised that M went all the way to Canada to meet her simply because it’s Canada – hello! That’s a long way away. And M is only what, 19?

But the fact that he met someone special over the ‘net? I’m not all that surprised.

I’m about 90% certain that if I wasn’t married, that if I hadn’t met Kevin when I did and I didn’t have a significant other in my life today, I would most likely be one of those people who wasted boo-coo hours on the ‘net chatting, and flirting, with men. To me, it makes perfect sense.

First of all, it’s convenient. You don’t have to worry about looking your best, or if that huge pimple on the tip of your nose will be a turn off, or in my case, if the three inch scar in the middle of my forehead will cause a man to run screaming from the room (what, you didn’t notice my scar in the video memes? Look closer – see how my left eyebrow is sort of divided in half? Yeah, that would be my scar- long story).

And, you can chat at any time, even at work! (But don’t do that, that will most likely get you into trouble). So that means, you can connect with people outside your time zone, heck even with people from Canada! *grin*

And it’s cheaper than talking on the phone, no long-distance calls.

And another great thing about chatting online? You can edit your thoughts. You have that little window of time that you can go back and rewrite your conversation before you click on that “send” button so that you don’t sound like a total dweeb – like I normally do whenever I talk to people in real life (IRL).

But one of the most attractive aspects of meeting someone online for me? You have an opportunity to get to know the PERSON behind the BODY first. There are really no expectations other than finding some common interests to strike up a conversation – the expectations are still internal at this point, not external.

So many times, whenever you meet a person IRL, the connection, or the decision to pursue the relationship, is based solely on looks. And though that is certainly a large aspect of finding a romantic interest, just think of the wonderful people that are not being given a chance to be your friends simply because of external first impressions.

And hey, I’m totally guilty of that, too. I’ve had my fair share of dates where I knew, the instant I met them, whether they were boyfriend material or not. That’s just a natural chemical process.

But think of the people who get written off, without a decent chance, simply because of the way they look?

That’s why I think online chatting is a good thing, overall. Yes, it has drawbacks, and yes, it can get easy to get carried away with it, but overall, I think it’s a good opportunity to get to know people – assuming, of course, they are being straight to begin with. But that drawback comes with face-to-face interaction as well.

I often wonder if GD has chatted with very many girls online. He’s on there all the time, and he hangs out in one specific gaming chat room all the time. And occasionally, I hear girls talking in the room (because they get on their mics) and I wonder if he’s ever flirted with them. It’s such a strange feeling to think of my son having romantic interests, but come on people, he’s 16 1/2 now – it’s bound to happen sooner rather than later.

I also wonder how I would (will?) feel when he reaches legal age and he tells me he’s flying to Canada to meet a girl he’s been chatting with on Skype.

He already wants to go to Canada and meet a buddy of his that he’s been chatting with for over two years now. And though I’m intrigued by the idea, I’m thinking I may have to buy a ticket to go to Canada with him just so I can keep an eye on him because, well, I’m a control freak like that. (I’m going to have a heart attack when he reaches legal age and I can’t TELL him what to do anymore – *shudder*).

Of course, the same could be said for blind dating. Same risk, really. In fact, in some ways, blind dating is worse than meeting someone you’ve been chatting with online, at least online you’ve had SOME interaction with the person.

AND, chatting online saves so much time. I mean, you strike up a conversation, you find common interests, you chat for a while and then it comes time to exchange pictures. WoW! He/she is hot! Now comes the web cams (because it’s always nice to actually “see” them to make sure they really look the way they claim). There’s no getting dressed up, driving to a public place, waiting on pins and needles to see if he/she will show up – the decision to go out with someone is sort of an after thought because if someone reaches that stage, they pretty much know what to expect by that point.

So yes, I hope GD meets someone online. I think it might be an easier process for him than the traditional route.

Just as long as she lives close, and not in say, Canada, for instance.

*grin*

This is me today …

Actually, these are my nephews – hiding from the world.

And this is exactly how I feel today – I have no desire to face the world. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to face anyone. I don’t want to be nice, or cordial, or all fake-smiley, or courteous or …

Well, PRESENT.

I’m not in a bad mood. I’m not in a good mood. I’m not annoyed, irritated, sad or happy. I’m just … meh.

I get like this sometimes. I just have no desire to interact with anyone – and that includes my family. When I’m in one of these moods, I ignore the boys. And though I don’t ignore Kevin, I’m not my usual, cheery, flirty self – like I normally am with my husband and ONLY around my husband. (Because overly cheery people grate on my nerves).

I’m perfectly content to just sit by and watch life pass me by. I have no desire to jump into the thick of things and … participate.

I’m just a ghost, floating along and watching the curious humans interact with the world around them.

I used to get like this at work, too. When I worked outside the home, that is. I would be extremely quiet and it would drive my co-workers nuts.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Well, someone’s being a b*tch today.”

Meh. If the shoe fits, I suppose. *shrug*

I have a lot of things on my mind. And I have quite a few things on my to-do list (like work out the kinks for Write Anything’s new look and format – I’m slow guys, I know. I’m sorry). But I just can’t bring myself to DO any of those things. I just feel so … unmotivated.

I’m not depressed. At least, I don’t THINK I’m depressed. How does one really know if one is depressed, anyway? These dark moods of mine usually only last 24-hours – let’s hope I’m back to normal by tomorrow …

Whatever the hell normal is for me, that is.

Maybe I’m just tired. I worked out a lot this weekend – maybe this is my body’s way of saying, “Dude, slow down. You’re not a spring chicken anymore.”

Boy, ain’t that the truth.

I’ve been thinking about how I have to push GD into doing everything. That he expects me to push him.

For example: The whole driving thing. Seriously. GD. It’s time to grow up. It’s time to lift your head from your computer monitor and join the human race (like I’m one to talk). So, I tested the water today. I thought I would TELL him that come spring break, I would take him down to the DMV so he could take the test for his driver’s permit. And I told myself that if he really acted uncomfortable with that, that I would back off – I planted the seed, I would just have to be patient for it to grow.

But to my utter surprise, he shrugged and said, “Okay.” He didn’t cringe. He didn’t look uncomfortable. He didn’t fight me. In fact, he looked relieved that I pushed the issue.

I am so tired of pushing him. WHEN will he take the initiative and live his own life, for once? WHY does he feel like he can’t do anything without me breathing down his neck?

Oh. Because I sort of raised him that way. It’s totally my fault the boy doesn’t have the courage to step off the edge of the cliff. I’ve over-protected the boy his entire life – it’s totally my fault that he’s on the timid side.

I’m thinking about how incredibly skinny MK is – he’s literally all bones – I can’t even say he’s skin and bones because his bones stick out so much that it makes his milky white skin look transparent. He eats, but he doesn’t eat enough. I’m not terribly worried – I’ve seen enough pictures of Kevin when he was that age to realize, MK is physically built like his dad. He’ll fill out but for right now, he just looks so frail and puny compared to his classmates. When will he start to fill out and look stronger?

My in-laws came over yesterday. And they asked me the dreaded question – the question that makes me grit my teeth and clench my fists.

“What have you been up to lately?”

Compared to my sisters-in-law and heck, with the rest of the world?

Not a lot.

I know they must think I’m incredibly lazy. And they wouldn’t be far from the truth. And even though I have several pokers in the website fires, and I’ve been busy with the other school websites and doing other menial tasks that aren’t even worth mentioning, I can’t bring myself to tell them that. I hate talking about myself – which sounds insane considering this blog, but this is different, I don’t actually have to FACE you guys. You exist in my virtual world and I like that – I’m comfortable with that.

Face-to-face interaction? Well, I suck at it.

As a result, my MIL looks at me like I’m dirt sometimes. And I suppose I am when compared to so many other people who are so much more productive with their time than I am and …

I wonder if that’s the reason why I’m reluctant to get together with my family? Because of that stupid, lame question that everyone asks because it’s the polite thing to do and they’re just being nice …

“What have you been up to lately?”

I don’t have an answer to that, I guess. At least, not a satisfactory answer, and I’m feeling guilty about it. I SHOULD be more productive. I have no excuse not to be. But unless you put a deadline in front of my face, that’s simply who I am. I get things done when I get them done.

In. My. Own. Sweet. Time.

What exactly am I waiting for? Death? Because that’s the rate I’m getting things done now – I’m at a dead stop.

I get so disgusted with myself when I’m like this. Everything is doom and gloom and if you know me, I can’t STAND pessimism. I know I’m feeling like this largely due to my melancholy mood but seriously, someone slap me because I’m starting to tick myself off.

And that’s never a good thing. Trust me.

Just ignore me. I’ll get over myself shortly.

I thought this was an interesting analysis:

Your Work Desk

Your work desk may reveal your personality. Psychologist Richard Bartram examined over 2,000 desktops in corporate America. Here are his results:

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THE CREATIVE CHAOS DESKTOP:

Papers, Notes and books are strewn all over. This persons goes for the gusto– works hard –plays hard.

(My desk right now. Books: Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul – no, I’m not a military wife but I love chicken soup stores – The Writer’s Book of Matches – writing prompts – and On Writing Romance – because yes, I like to write romance stories. You can also see my Baby Blues’ calendar, MK’s out-of-town jazz festival schedule, scratch paper, and animal crackers because that is my drug of choice right now. Actually, it doesn’t look too bad right now. It’s usually so cluttered that you can’t see even one square inch of glass).

My desk is definitely the Creative Chaos desktop. That’s ALL I have strewn over my desk – notes and books. Though my desktop usually devolves into the slightly messy desktop after a week or two because yes! I only clean my desk off about twice a month because I’m super lazy like that. *grin*

---

THE PERSONALITY PLUS DESKTOP:

It’s covered with photos and trinkets, this desk reveals an optimistic person with a sunny personality. These people put work, family and pleasure all in the proper perspective.

THE IMMACULATE DESKTOP:

Although it may look nice, this employee usually feels under appreciated at work or at home

THE TROPHY DESKTOP:

Each item is strategically placed for maximum effect. This desk belongs to a goal oriented, ambitious employee. Caution: These workers tend to have big Egos and may be hard to get along with.

THE SLIGHTLY MESSY DESKTOP:

This desk belongs to a dependable person who takes their professional and personal responsibilities very seriously. No matter what it takes, they always get the job done.

What does your desktop look like?

So, we had a blizzard Saturday and we spent most of the day out in it.

MK had his ensemble performances over the weekend. The kids met at a middle school and at the allotted times, they performed in front of a small audience of parents, their music teacher and a judge. The kids then performed and waited to hear feedback afterward.

The judges were professional musicians, so the advice was a bit hard to hear, but helpful.

Kevin went into work early to catch up on some stuff, so he met us there. We arrived in plenty of time, but MK wore the wrong shirt. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to wear a dress shirt, or his school band shirt – he chose the wrong shirt. As a result, he was irritated and a bit rattled because he stuck out like a sore thumb. I think this affected his first performance, as well as his classmates’ performances. The song was still good, but you can hear a few squawks here and there. I don’t think all of them were from MK, but, well, it wasn’t their best performance.

This song is called “March Militia” though I’m not 100% sure of that. MK is the blond kid in the blue, dress-up shirt. (Notice how his music stand is so much higher than his peers? He does that on purpose so he can block out the faces staring at him. HA!) The song is only about a minute long, the rest is the judge giving her opinion, feel free to stop it if you don’t want to listen to her critique. 🙂

He was NOT happy with his performance, at all. In fact, he really beat himself up over it. He wasn’t that crazy about the piece to begin with, and as you heard, it was a rather difficult piece for a trio of 14-year olds to play. It was a good lesson though on paying attention to the details (what shirt to wear – I don’t think he’ll be blowing that information off in the future) and that he needs to practice a bit more and not be QUITE so confident.

Only MY kid has an overly-confident problem. *grin*

We had a little time before he was scheduled to play his next performance, so we took the opportunity to rush home to grab a bit to eat (well, MK didn’t eat, he was too nervous), and for him to change his shirt. We arrived back at the school in plenty of time for him to warm up and as a result, he was a lot more relaxed with his last two performances.

And the kids RAWKED the house, they truly did. In fact, they did so well, the judge didn’t really have a lot of criticism for them.

This song was one of the kids’ favorites – Night Train. And note the solo that MK plays (blond kid on left). DAMN!

They improvised on one part and the judge called them out on it, but they simply explained that they couldn’t seem to play it the correct way, so they just sort of made it work for them. I don’t know if they got counted off on their points, but you know what? I don’t think they really cared, quite frankly, because they just had so much fun playing it.

This last song was also a favorite and the judge … well, after the song, she just sat there, shook her head and smiled at the kids. There really wasn’t a lot she could say – they performed it perfectly.

It’s called Jericho. Another solo bit from MK – ’cause my kid’s a star. *wink*

They all left clapping each other on the back and feeling quite confident about themselves.

I couldn’t have been prouder. I think MK was BORN to play that saxophone. Seriously. He didn’t get that musical talent from me, that’s for sure.

We’re making plans to talk to the music store and upgrade MK’s sax over spring break. We’ve talked about possibly buying him a fancy, black saxophone in the past, but yikes – $3,000 is a BIT too much responsibility for a 14-year old, so, we’re just going to upgrade to an intermediate sax – something that sounds better but something we don’t have a coronary over every time he uses it for marching band next year.

The jazz band is actually traveling to Pittsburgh Kansas on Friday to perform in a jazz festival. That’s an hour and 45 minutes away so I’m a BIT nervous about him traveling without me, but he’s all excited. I hope they get to ride on one of those comfy buses as opposed to a bumpy school bus. I wish I could go to, but one, I’ve got GD to think about and two, I’m not sure MK WANTS me to go along. Besides, this will be good practice for him with his upcoming band travels in high school.

However, the jazz band is performing at a local university the following weekend, so I’m hoping it’s the same program and we’ll be able to watch that one. (Stay tuned for more video).

Thanks for being MK’s virtual audience. 🙂

This was taken on a camping trip a few summers back shortly after GD got his braces. I’m posting this because GD went to the orthodontist yesterday and was told he could get his braces off in May.

This was after they told us last September. Then last December. Then April. And now, May.

We’re BEYOND frustrated at this point. The kid has had braces now for 30 months (original prediction was two years, tops). These people have been paid off for months. And yet, here we are, with no clear-cut end in sight.

I’m no doctor, and I certainly don’t want them to screw this up by trying to rush him out of braces when he’s not ready but seriously, it’s time. His teeth look great. Let’s put the boy out of his misery and remove them already!

They gave him the annoying rubber bands to wear again. They gave them to him back in December and we, uh, sort of blew them off because they seemed silly to us and were they really making that much difference? Well apparently, yes. And I can’t help but wonder if we brought this delay on ourselves because we didn’t follow directions.

*sigh*

Fine. He has to wear these stupid rubber bands 24-hours a day until the first week of April. We’ll follow the directions to the letter this time but by gosh, they better not move the removal date on us again or I’m likely to go postal.

Poor kid.

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