Dear Diary:
I knew this was going to happen..
How could it not? You simply CAN NOT put a handful of women into one room, hour after hour, day after day, and NOT deal with the gossip wars. I’m trying so hard not to get sucked into the middle of it, but in not taking a side?
I’m each side’s confidante.
It’s incredibly awkward. Especially when I can stay objective enough to see both sides of the story. Each side has a valid point and though I understand the frustration and the resentment, it really does not do any good to get upset about it.
Everyone has faults, and quirks, and annoying things about them. (Except me – I’m pretty close to awesome, but that’s beside the point *ahem*). The trick, the true test of character, to me, is how you deal with all of these … erhm … complications. Me? I tend to just shrug them off because quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I’m there to do a job. And though it’s important to me that people like me? My life will not end if they do not.
*shrug* Such is life.
So when one of the girls I work with takes an hour and a half for lunch (we are only allowed thirty minutes), sure, I get annoyed, but I don’t go out of my way to snitch to my boss about it. Or when one of the gals I work with is so anal about doing things PRECISELY by the book and sees the world through black and white lenses (though we all know that the world tends to be a pretty shade of gray because every person/situation is unique and you can’t apply a “one-size-fits-all” label), sure, there are times I want to rip those glasses right off her face, but I don’t, because what’s the point? It might be immediately satisfying but I have to work with this gal every day – I’m more interested in keeping the peace.
I also get REALLY ANNOYED when my co-worker makes a POINT of picking up the phone to make a call at the PRECISE moment that a patient is ready to check out. She does this on purpose so she won’t have to help them and guess who ends up helping the patient even though this person has already helped 3/4 of the patient load that day and is UP TO HER EYEBALLS in things to do?
Yep. Me.
That probably annoys me most of all. Because I CAN NOT stand people who will not at least make an effort to do their job. It’s selfish, lazy and why the hell are they employed anyway? But still … I get over it. Because I’m a FIRM believer in what goes around, comes around. I’m fairly confident that my boss is intelligent enough that she sees what is going on. And I’m equally confident that my performance will speak for itself.
So I keep my mouth shut and I release my irritation in passive aggressive ways and I (im)patiently wait for karma to make her rounds.
But in the meantime, the drama rages all around me.
This past Thursday and Friday were particularly bad for one of the gals I work with. (I work closely with three of the other gals – let’s call them gal #1, gal #2 and gal #4 (because technically, I’m gal #3). Gal #1 has been there the longest. So she tends to bend the rules a bit, which just annoys the every loving crap out of gal #4. (Gal #2 is laid back, a sweetheart and makes an effort to stay out of the drama – which is why she’s my favorite, actually). So really, the war is between gal #1 and gal #4. Gal #1 is going through a lot of personal problems right now. She’s caught in the middle of an awkward love triangle with her best friend and her husband and well … suffice it to say, she has been under A LOT of stress because of it. (Which is THE NUMBER ONE REASON why I don’t have a best friend. I can’t STAND drama and I refuse to get sucked into someone else’s drama). She took an hour and half lunch the other day in order to try and get a handle on it. But because we were short handed (gal #2 was off that day), that meant I couldn’t leave to go to lunch.
Now honestly? I didn’t really care. Sure. I was a bit annoyed, but I was so busy that I just didn’t give it much thought. But it was simply too much for gal #4 and she complained to our boss.
Gal #1 got pulled into the office and reprimanded when she got back from lunch. Which did NOT help gal #1’s stressful situation, but to be fair, she should have said something about taking a longer lunch so we would have at least been aware of what was going on.
And gal #4 complaining about gal #1 not doing her job? Is a little like calling the kettle black because gal #4 helps the least amount of patients and the ones she does help, she tends to make it SO MUCH HARDER than it should be.
She’s exhausting to be around, quite frankly.
And this is just a small sample of the underlying currents that I have to swim against every day.
It’s the battle of the alpha females, I guess. And though I’d classify myself as an alpha female, I’d also say I’m a SUBTLE alpha female in that I bide my time and wait for the other alpha females to hang themselves, because it’s going to happen eventually.
It’s just all so … silly in the grand scheme of things. Women are so incredibly mean to each other and I’ve never quite figured out why aside from the obvious jealously factor. I’m amused by the games, actually. It’s sort of fascinating to watch women nibble on each other, like a school of piranhas attacking a meaty piece of flesh.
No. I prefer to sit back, observe, strategize and bide my time. I prefer to study my cards a bit more carefully before I play my hand. Because it pays off to be careful and patient.
Trust me. *sadistic smile*
Write From Karen 