I Want to Write Something

I mean to write something.

But I’m just so wiped out that I can’t bear to think anymore.

This new pace both excites me and exacerbates me.

On the one hand, I’m using my brain again. YES. I can’t tell you how GOOD that feels. I’m making enough money to feed my family. We’re saving money by putting everyone on my health insurance. It’s so wonderful to be around people again (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say) and I love the feeling of accomplishment as I leave work every day.

But on the other hand, I have no time – zero. I drop Jazz off at school, come home, pack my lunch, go to work, have just enough time to eat lunch (we’re THAT busy all the time), come home, scarf down dinner, run Jazz to his band rehearsal, run to the office supply store and buy some fun/funky stuff to help me organize my notes and hopefully make my job easier, come home, answer emails (I had 15 today) and then? Then? I’m done. I can’t think anymore. I don’t WANT to think anymore. All I want to do is veg in front of my computer (because I stream Netflix through my computer) and watch some mindless TV series that doesn’t require anything more than a click of my mouse.

And I miss my family.

I’ve been using my brain so much these past few weeks I smell that musty smell whenever you turn your heater on for the first time in the winter.

There are so many thoughts, so many emotions I would love to share with you, but I’m simply too tired to first process them and then regurgitate them. It takes too much energy.

But you know me, I can’t stay away for too long. I will soon get used to this new life and then I will be back to cram my thoughts, opinions and beliefs down your throat.

I know. I’m charming, aren’t I. Don’t even pretend you don’t miss me.

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