I have nervous knots of anxiety in my stomach right now.

And I can’t wait for tonight to be over with.

Can. Not. Wait.

Kevin has a gig tonight. He’s playing at a bar and is scheduled to perform with his band, Midnite Thunder, at 10:30.

Which is WAAAY past our bedtime. (But we’re old geezers, after all).

AND, the bar is downtown, which is not the safest place to be late at night ON a Friday night.

I’m going, even though he says I don’t have to.

I’m tempted to take his excuse as my way out. But I’ll go. And I’ll cheer him on and take pictures/video of his performance.

Because that’s what you do when you love someone.

I’m nervous for him, not me. He hasn’t played in front of a live audience in 18 months. He’s rusty and HE’S nervous, which makes ME nervous.

What if they don’t like the band?

What if they don’t like HIM?

How will I react to that?

How will he handle it?

He’s very sensitive. Especially when it comes to his music. And though he claims he can handle the criticism, I know better. It really bothers him when he thinks people don’t:

A. like him.


B. think he’s less than he is.

I blame his upbringing for his insecure nature. And it makes me angry with certain people in his family for these hurtful lessons, but it also makes me more determined than ever to BE there for him and help him through not only this gig, but future gigs as well.

Break a leg, darling.

Update: We arrived at the venue on time, unfortunately, their sound guy didn’t show up until after 10:00 p.m. …

and they were scheduled to play at 10:00.

After running through the tests, they finally started playing at 10:30.

The musicians did great, the singer … well, she was a bit shrill at times. In fact, I can recall two different occasions that my brain actually rattled in my skull. But overall, the guys sounded tight and right on key.

I ended up talking to the drummer’s wife until my in-laws arrived. I was a bit apprehensive about them showing up, this was downtown on a Friday night after all (think mini-Mardi Gras) so there were some, um, interesting characters running around and the lead singer was a bit, um, risque in her act so there were uncomfortable moments, but overall, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

The place wasn’t busy, in fact, it downright thinned out at midnight when they took their break. But Kevin told me this morning that after we left, the place filled up (of course) and there was quite a bit of dancing.

He said the owner of the bar liked them and they actually made some pretty decent money when it was said and done (Kevin refuses to take any money – he gives it back to the band leader to he.p pay for the cost of equipment) and it’s likely they will play there again.

My sister and brother-in-law showed up later, which I thought was really nice of them. I think the support really helped boost Kevin’s performance and there was only one time I thought his rhythm was off, but his solos were spot on and I could tell he was having a blast.

Which is really WHY he’s doing this – because he enjoys playing music.

I’ll share a few videos and pictures soon.