Category: Life

At the Moment, Life

Remember COVID?

Karen

It’s hard to believe that we’re coming up on four years post-COVID. In some ways, it seems like it happened ten years ago, in some ways, it feels like it’s still happening, on some level.

I know a lot of people have mixed, and strong, feelings about the man-made pandemic, and that’s okay. We all have unique experiences, we all went through some very uncomfortable, sad and in some cases, horrific times. All I can relay about COVID is my personal experience and my personal thoughts and opinions – feel free to agree, or disagree. We’re all unique individuals and are entitled to process traumas in different ways. My way of thinking is not right, your way of thinking is not wrong – but my goal is to process these sorts of events with my eyes wide open.

I hope you will, too.

To catch those up just joining us, (thanks for the subscribes, by the way!), I work in healthcare. I used to be a medical assistant in Neurosurgery, yes, brain surgeons, and it was the most challenging, and the most rewarding, experience of my life. I did that for 12 years. Now, I work from home with the precertification department, meaning, I run testing, like MRI’s, CT’s, and other testing, through the patient’s insurance company to make sure they know about the test and agree to pay their portion of the bill.

It sounds boring because it is boring, but it’s a necessary step in patient care.

Health insurance – now that’s a topic for another day.

As you can imagine, working in healthcare during the height of COVID was … challenging. Especially since I didn’t agree with the vaccine mandates, and still don’t agree with vaccine mandates, (they have since lifted the COVID vaccine mandate at my hospital – is anyone shocked?). and to me, it made zero sense to subject myself to an experimental vaccine for a disease that had a 99% recovery rate for healthy people. I had to fight the hospital. I filed a religious exemption and was denied. I then appealed it and to my utter surprise, it was approved. I really think that by the time I appealed my exemption, the hospital was bleeding employees, they were leaving because they didn’t want to get the jab, and the hospital felt like they couldn’t lose anymore employees and approved me.

I’m quite sure it wasn’t because I was a valuable employee, it all came down to numbers – let’s not kid ourselves.

Anyway. I ended up staying. Filed a religious exemption against the annual flu vaccination, which is still a requirement to this day, and they approved that, too. And as long as they continue approving my exemptions, I’m happy to continue working for this company.

Now that COVID is behind us, for the most part, a lot of really disturbing information has come out about the experimental jab. “Vaccine injuries,” they are calling it. In many cases, people have died from the complications of the injection, whether you want to admit it not, it’s been happening.

I subscribe to an email newsletter: Coffee and COVID. Jeff is a lawyer and it’s interesting to get a legal slant on the COVID madness surrounding us.

“The pandemic is behind us, but the propaganda, the psyops, and the relentless drumbeat of bad news continues. My mission is to deliver truth and light in an entertaining and optimistic way that you can safely share with people you love who haven’t yet seen the light.” says Jeff.

It’s also refreshing to keep on top of the COVID fallout because have you heard any follow up news about COVID in the, (MSM), main-stream media?

I didn’t think so.

Jeff also writes witty, and informative, opinions and takes on all of the other craziness in the world right now, too. He often brings a smile to my face. I highly recommend his newsletter.

I don’t bring all of this up to scare you, though it is scary to read about, but to inform you – there is a lot of crap that is going on in the world and you can’t count on the MSM to inform you. It’s better to know what we’re dealing with so we can come up with a realistic defense if/when it directly impacts our personal worlds – again.

Ignorance is NOT always bliss.

Here is an interview between Tucker Carlson and Bret Weinstein. I really enjoy listening to Bret, I feel smart if I’m able to keep up with his commentary, (ha!), and though there are some things I disagree with him about, I do appreciate how he takes the time to articulate his point-of-view and with how thorough he analyzes an issue. This interview is Bret’s take on the WHO’s plan to force everyone to give up their bodily autonomy and hand it over to the WHO on a silver platter so they can dictate what is “good” for us and of course, the good of the people in general. It’s scary stuff and something you would read in a story like “1984” and yet, here we are. It’s worth a listen.

A few thoughts:

“Pharma is healthy when people are sick.” A lot can be said for this simple statement but in a nutshell, Pharma is big business and in order for them to stay in business, they need people to remain sick. If that doesn’t rock any trust you might have had in pharmaceuticals, or the healthcare industry as a whole, you’re really not paying attention. It’s a shame that COVID damaged healthcare so much, but perhaps we should have been paying closer attention to what Pharma has been doing all along.

“Pharma created something truly beautiful with the mRNA technology.” Interesting. I never really thought that the technology could be used for good. And perhaps at some point in time, it might be able to manipulate people’s DNA, trick it, into repurposing cells to help the body’s natural way of producing what it needs to produce but for some reason doesn’t produce, like insulin, as Bret suggests. I suppose the question would be, would Pharma be motivated to use their “beautiful” technology for something like that? I guess it depends on how much the profit margin would be.

The part about your heart not repairing itself … didn’t really surprise me but alarmed me. I wonder how many people know this? Once our heart is damaged, it’s damaged forever and if your heart is not pumping at full capacity, then it will ultimately shorten your life. His hypothesis on why these athletes have been collapsing on the fields because they’re likely pushing damaged hearts to the limit makes perfect sense, too. The fact that these “vaccines” targeted the hearts of so many, and that so many people’s lives have been and will be, impacted by this government over reach … it’s truly mind blowing when you look at the big picture. These people that pushed this crap on to us, that ruined so many lives, that killed so many people, truly should be in jail. It’s pure evil what they have done to people.

The fact that Pharma thought they had the media in their back pocket and were confident they could sell us anything they wanted to sell us because the media would have their backs was also very telling. And the fact that it was podcasts, Elon Musk buying Twitter, and alterative platforms and news sites like Rumble and NewsMax that thwarted their plans also demonstrates how crucial it is to have alterative sources to go to. Because if we allow MSM to control the flow of information … think how much power they would have over us. It’s mind boggling, and terrifying, honestly.

“The measures that would have allowed them to silence the podcasters, to mandate various things internationally in a way that would prevent the emergence of a controlled group that would allow us to see harms clearly, that’s the reason I think that people, that want to move on from thinking about COVID, maybe stop thinking of COVID, but do start thinking about what has taken place in respect to medicine, public health, Pharma and ask yourself the question, given what you now know would you want to relive the COVID pandemic without the tools that allowed you to ultimately in the end see clearly that it didn’t make sense to take another one of these shots, or your kids to take the shots, we want those tools, in fact we need the tools,”

In a nutshell, Bret is saying that we had enough tools, THIS TIME, at our disposal during COVID to push enough doubt in enough people and then to spread this doubt, that we were able to push back on the narrative so that it stopped the hemorrhage from being fatal. If we had not had those tools, that dissension, I’m betting our world would look a whole lot different right about now. This is why it’s CRUCIAL that you get your news from different sources. You can’t trust anything anyone tells you so it’s up to you to use due diligence and educate yourself on what is truly happening so that you can make informed decisions when it comes to you and your family.

Pay special attention to what Bret says about what the WHO is proposing to do if/when another pandemic happens. The WHO is trying to give itself authority to tell you what you can and not take, to demand that you take what it thinks you need, to doctor documents so that you may not travel freely if you do not conform to their demands and to box you in so tightly that you can not live a free life. You will be at the mercy of those that are doing what is “right” for the “greater good.” However, because we have these tools, these voices and platforms that dare to speak out, to ask questions, to bring these evil agendas to people’s attention, the WHO was forced to back off and lie to the camera in order to dilute it’s intentions.

For now.

This, THIS, is why we must never forget COVID. Because if we forget what they did, what they are trying to do to do to us when future tragedies strike, it will make it that much easier to squash us under their thumbs like the ants they think we are.

Don’t forget what they did. NEVER FORGET.

Thanks for reading.

At the Moment, Food, Life, Politics

Playing Chicken

Karen

Dude – we got chickens.

When Kevin first proposed getting chickens I thought he was joking. But then when he looked me in the eye and told me he was serious, I thought he had lost his mind.

Chickens? I don’t like animals, why would we get chickens?!

And before you animal lovers sit back, cross your arms and sniff in disdain, I didn’t say I hate animals, I don’t like animals. I don’t like owning them. I don’t like how noisy, smelly and costly they are. I don’t like the work it requires to take care of them. Call me lazy, I won’t argue, but I like animals if someone else owns them.

Kevin wanted to get chickens for a few reasons:

  1. He wanted to see if he could raise chickens. He wanted the challenge. He’s crazy like that.
  2. He was curious to see what it would take to raise chickens – what kind of food would they eat? Where would he house them? Could he keep them alive and safe from predators?
  3. If, (when), the world goes to Hell in a handbasket, was he capable of being self-sufficient enough to provide for his family?

We’ve always been fascinated by people who live off grid. What a life that must be! To actually set yourself up in a house, away from the city, and build an energy infrastructure so you didn’t have to rely on the government for power, sewer, water … to grow your own food so that you didn’t have to rely on artificial preservatives, grocery stores … TAXES.

I watched a few YouTubers that have done exactly that – built a life for themselves completely off grid. It looks like a lot of work, (remember – I’m inherently lazy) and wow – you spend all of your waking moments thinking about where your next meal is going to come from and making sure you have enough basic supplies to live semi-comfortably.

But I could do it. I wouldn’t WANT to do it, but I COULD do it. And I KNOW Kevin could do it. In fact, I think he would THRIVE on it because he’s one of those men who thrive on challenges and has the smarts to just figure it out. He’s one of the best problem solvers I’ve ever met in my life. He’s also very handy and can pretty much figure out how to build, or how to fix, anything.

He’s a Jack-of-all-trades kind of man.

I think anticipating the world to end might have been the biggest deciding factor to actually buying the chickens. In case you haven’t been paying attention to all of these food plants catching fire, the skyrocketing price of food and how the government has started the subliminal, (and perhaps not so subliminal) message of EAT BUGS, THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU campaign, it feels a little like our government is trying to starve us out of a hostage situation.

Not to mention, the crap – the additives, the preservatives – the government puts in our food and water, (like Fluoride in our water), “for our health” and well, you have to wonder if that is one of the many reasons people are sick and need medications.

(Medications means Big Pharma – ah – definitely a topic for another day).

But, back to the chickens.

He bought six chickens. And Oh. My. Gosh. They were SO CUTE when they were little!!! Cheeping away in the box he set up for them. Sunning themselves under the heat lamp. Kevin watched a lot of YouTube videos and spoke to some people at the Farm/Feed stores about how to care for the chickens. He worked hard to make sure they were well cared for and they thrived.

He did have one, the runt in the group, that wasn’t growing as fast as the others and when he did some research he learned that the runt had “poopy butt.”

And henceforth, that was the chick’s name, by the way.

Sometimes chicks will not be able to drop their poop and it sticks to their butts. As you can imagine, this causes problems and some chickens die if it’s not dealt with. So. Kevin went in and dug the poop out and the chicken not only survived, he/she thrived.

He’s nothing if not committed. Ha!

The chicks stayed in their box for a few weeks (?) and then graduated to a bigger, plastic tub and stayed in the tub for another few weeks (?), (I’m estimating the time here because I didn’t really pay much attention to his “projects”), while he worked to make a “home” for them.

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned that they currently live at the rental house across the street from us. The same house that LeRoy and the boys are currently living in. Not sure how the boys actually felt about co-habituating with chickens, I think they reacted to dad’s “experiment” the same way as me, just shook their heads and moved on with their lives, but that’s where they live now.

The rental house has a fenced in back yard and a shed. (It also has a pool which I worried about – what if the chickens fall in? Can they swim? Will the chemicals morph them into a science fiction character?). So he worked on making the shed into their home. He made a little door for them to go in/out and some ladder thingie for them to roost on when they got larger. He rigged up some sort of contraption for them to get water from, (like a pipe with holes in it), though ultimately I think he figured out it didn’t work that great. But my point is, he built them a home and when they were finally big enough to let out of the plastic tub and run around the backyard, they were living like chicken kings and queens.

We watched them grow up into ugly, red chickens. And then we watched with bated breath to see how many, if any, roosters we may have had because believe it or not, you can’t really tell right away.

I was especially nervous about the roosters because we live within the city limits and we’re not supposed to have roosters within the city limits. Now usually I’m not a big government rule kind of girl but this one I understood – our neighbors would not appreciate waking up every morning to a chorus of crowing roosters, I’m sure.

I didn’t want to wake up to a chorus of crowing roosters.

Kevin started experimenting with what to feed them. He often took our leftovers (a bucket we fondly labeled, the slop bucket), over to the chickens to see if they would eat it. They pretty much ate everything but they didn’t like watermelon or carrots but they LOVED bread.

Chickens after my own heart. Ha!

And of course, they LOVE bugs. In fact, quite by accident, Kevin had a bucket underneath an outside house light when he discovered that the bugs that swarm these lights at night would drop into this bucket, (I guess because they got too close to the light??), and for some reason, couldn’t figure out how to get out so by the next day, the bottom of the bucket was full of live bugs.

Kevin would take that bucket to them, dump the bugs on the ground and the chickens had a bug smorgasbord – they went NUTS for it.

As I said, they live like chicken kings/queens. It’s also a great way to get rid of the bugs.

Fast forward – the chicks grew up and we didn’t have one, two, or even three roosters, we had FIVE. So, five out of the six chicks he bought were roosters which meant we had to get rid of them. He advertised them on Craig’s List and an Asian lady showed up to take them. I’m sure they ended up on someone’s dinner table, but you know what? I don’t want to know … because I watched these things grow up – lalalalala .. moving on.

(Side note: we didn’t truly know the chickens were roosters until one morning Brandon was in the sun room and a few of them crowed. ha!)

So. We were left with one lone red hen. And she is a pretty hen, too. Fat and spoiled. She follows Kevin around whenever he goes into the backyard. It’s pretty cute, actually. But we still wanted eggs, so Kevin went to some lady .. I think, details are hazy, remember, I can’t keep up with his projects, and he bought five more hens. These were teenage hens, grown enough to know they were hens but not mature enough to lay eggs.

Several weeks went by and … no eggs. Kevin wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong. He was feeding them well, they had a nice shed/roost to sleep away from predators, they didn’t seem stressed, they could get in/out of their house any time they pleased … and still, no eggs.

They were officially on probation. No eggs = chicken soup. (Not that I think Kevin could bring himself to kill the chickens to eat. He said he could but …. I know the man, no way!)

Finally, FINALLY, after weeks of waiting, one hen laid an egg. And a light bulb went on over the other hens’ heads and suddenly, we were getting four/five eggs every day. We had so many eggs at one point that we gave them away to Kevin’s parents and my mom. We had a lot of eggs because I couldn’t bring myself to eat any. And trust me, I LOOOOVE eggs. I don’t know, I just … couldn’t do it. It weirded me out. Which I know sounds stupid because, come on, where do you think eggs in the supermarket come from Karen, but it took me several weeks of making sure Kevin didn’t keel over from food poisoning before I cracked the shell, (see what I did there?) and started eating the eggs.

They’re quite tasty, actually. The yolks are a bright yellow, much brighter than the store-bought eggs. I usually eat three eggs on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Yes, on those specific days because I have an eating schedule … more on that in a future post. (I do Intermittent Fasting – STILL).

So now we have a steady stream of farm-fresh eggs from our grandchickens. That’s what we call our chickens because I’m starting to doubt we will actually have any grandchildren the ways things are going now.

Which brings us back to why we wanted our own chickens to begin with.

The coordinated efforts of the US billionaires to decrease our population by tainting our food because of the climate change cult.

STOP.

I can see you rolling your eyes. And maybe I’m completely nuts for going down this rabbit hole but … WHAT IF IT’S TRUE? I mean, think about it, our food is already being injected with all kind of growth hormones, additives, preservatives, CRAP, and animals are being genetically modified in order to produce more, more, MORE food, why is it crazy to think that the elites see an opportunity to inject more nefarious crap? Like, the mRNA from the experimental jab, for example?

You know it’s funny, but when I went to research this topic, I came up with pages and PAGES of “news” sites that debunked the fact that Bill Gates tweeted anything about putting mRNA into our food supply and yet, you see that he did in the above video. Granted, he didn’t specifically mention mRNA but does it really matter? Why do we need our food injected with anything at all?

And it makes me wonder if the cause of a lot of diseases, cancers, aren’t somehow linked to the crap that the government, who care for it’s people and chant like zombies that it’s for the “greater good” aren’t somehow poisoning it’s citizens?

Call me crazy, but I smell rotten meat.

I’m all about getting my news from different sources because let’s face it, all news organizations, whether they are left, right, independent, have agendas. So it’s important to get news from several different sources and make up our own minds, right? But when the media starts censoring these dissenting voices, my BS antenna quivers. What’s the dealio? Why the secrecy? Why the determination to censor people who are simply asking questions and/or seeking answers?

Why indeed?

And then, look what happened to Amos Miller, the Amish farmer who has been fighting the government, FOR YEARS, because he refuses to give his livestock any artificial crap and relies solely on decades of tried and true farming techniques to produce quality food for his family and his community? The government hates people like Amos Miller because they can’t control him. They can’t keep him under their thumbs so they do what any totalitarian government does, they try to shut him down by swatting his property and confiscating his food.

“Today, the Department of Agriculture of the State of Pennsylvania suddenly came, without notice, raided Amos’ farm, and detained everything Amos had in the farm’s freezer. 

The state’s rules require advance notice, reasonable time frames for inspections, and a showing of credentials, none of which occurred here. Instead, the state unlawfully obtained a search warrant based on materially false statements in an affidavit by a high-ranking state official in an agency with a known grievance against independent farmers like Amos, and, after the raid and finding no evidence of wrongdoing, then illegally ordered detained every item of food in one of Amos Miller’s coolers, including buffalo meat not even subject to federal regulation. “

That GiveSendGo account is here, if you want to help with legal fees for this Amish farmer.

If they can do this to an Amish farmer, what can they do to YOU?

Miller’s Organic Farm seize really got Wendy Bell fired up, too. I highly recommend following Wendy Bell’s podcast on Rumble. She’s a conservative talk-show host who is not afraid to tell it like it is. She reminds me a lot of a female Rush Limbaugh. It’s also fun to watch what goes on behind the scenes of her podcast. I hope you’ll take a moment to watch her, she says what we’re all thinking and it’s REFRESHING.

Okay, back to our chickens.

These issues? The messing with our food supply, the swatting of innocent farmers just trying to make a living and produce quality, drug-free food, this is why we want to do something – I realize it’s a minor thing, minute really in the grand scheme of things, but we often think, could we figure out how to be self-sufficient in an end-of-the-world scenario?

I’d like to think so, but … probably not. But hey, at least we would have eggs to eat.

Thanks for reading.

Crafting, Life

Feeling Crafty

Karen

My mom is passionate about crafts. She has worked on crafts her entire life. She knits, crochets, paints, sews … she can basically do everything and if she doesn’t know how to do it, she will learn it and master it. (It’s true, mom!) She loves it, she lives for it and she’s really good at it.

She has participated in craft shows for years and has entered items in our local county fair for decades. She has won ribbons, awards and sold so many different crafts over the years, it’s amazing.

She’s had a little trouble getting back into crafts, (life, really), since dad died earlier this year. She’s had trouble finding motivation for doing anything since dad died. It’s brought her life, and countless others’ lives, to a screeching halt. What do you do when one moment you have someone so important to your life here one day and gone the next?

It paralyzes you.

I like crafts; I do not love crafts. I’m not into them as much as my mom, but I have fun with them. I love to cross stitch, scrapbook, (I made journals for years – I’m not doing them anymore, I got bored – they were so time consuming! I’m cheating now. I bought a ready-made journal for 2024 so I can jot things down, daily journal, etc), and paint-by-numbers. (Because I am not talented enough to paint free style – I need direction!).

And then, I discovered diamond painting.

I remember stumbling across a video on YouTube one day about diamond painting, (how did that even happen!? – It’s not like I typed in diamond painting in the search bar – or anything to do with painting, quite frankly), and my mouth dropped.

This was a thing?!

I had no idea. So. I do what I always do, I jumped down a rabbit hole and looked for diamond painting kits on Amazon. And OF COURSE, they had tons. And OF COURSE, I bought tons and started obsessively sticking beads to canvas. It’s the most mindless, brain-dead activity you can think of. No disrespect to diamond painters but let’s be real – you pick up a bead and you press it onto the corresponding pattern on the canvas. Badda-bing-badda-boom, instant “painting”.

I like to “work” on my “paintings”, (I’m sorry, but I can’t really bring myself to call it painting, it’s sticking beads to canvas), at the dining room table, after work, put my earbuds in and listen to podcasts while I stick beads to canvas. I’ve gotten quite a few completed, actually. I have a diamond painting portfolio half full of paintings now.

So, to help my mom out, to try and distract her from dad, and because I wanted to spend more time with her, I suggested our Saturday get togethers. We take turns going to each other’s houses every Saturday. We go to lunch first, come back, make some coffee and sit down with a treat and watch two episodes of Survivor, (I’m hooked! We’re on Season 5), and then we craft together.

She works on her NUMEROUS projects and I “paint.”

Mom had a craft show in October and one earlier this month and I helped her set up, tear down, and hung out with her during the shows. This last craft show, I got bit. By the craft bug. I think it would be fun to put some of my “paintings” in the shows and see what happens. I don’t really recall seeing any other booths with diamond paintings, (which – there may be a good reason for that, no one wants them, ha!), I’m building quite the inventory and … why not?

So, I went to Temu, (another recent obsession – have you TRIED Temu??) and bought a punch of Fall/Halloween/Christmas kits along with keychains, Christmas ornaments, and coasters, all diamond painting kits. I think it would be really fun to put a small Christmas tree up with nothing but with ugly Christmas sweater ornaments. And who knows, maybe I’ll try my hand at another type of craft this year, as long as it doesn’t try my patience and I can do a decent job of it.

We’re also trying to talk my sister into making some macramé items as well. She’s been getting into the craft, she’s really good at it and it seems to be making a comeback. Mom bought that really cute macramé Christmas tree you see at the top of this post at the December craft show.

It would be a really fun thing for all three of us girls to do together.

So, let me ask you this – do you like craft shows? Do you go to craft shows? What sorts of crafts do you look for at craft shows?

Do you do any crafts yourself? If so, what sorts of crafts do you do?

And finally – do you have any suggestions on a type of craft I should try next?

Day-By-Day

Thankful The World Has Stopped Spinning

Karen

Hi.

So. We left off where I was experiencing vertigo, couldn’t walk straight, threw up not only everything in my stomach but I’m pretty sure there were bits of liver in my gunk, fell asleep and snored in front of the doctor I work for and me thinking I was never going to be normal again.

I’m happy to say, I’m normal again.

Or, whatever that means to you and however that defines me.

After that crazy episode, which lasted 20 hours straight and then I had another 15 hours of dizziness one day later, I’m happy to say I haven’t experienced any more vertigo, but I have had some dizzy spells. 

Actually, more like wooziness. Like I’m standing there and things just sort of start getting ..swimmey. Wavy. Distorted. It was very disorientating but it wasn’t severe enough for me to get nauseous and thankfully, it would only last about ten seconds before going away. I had quite a few woozy spells on Thanksgiving day, one after the other, to the point where I felt like we were going to have to leave dinner because it was making me feel sick, but again, luckily, after about thirty minutes, they didn’t go away but they weren’t happening as often and I started to feel better. 

But after Thanksgiving, I stopped having the woozy spells. I didn’t really notice I wasn’t experiencing the dizzy spells anymore for several days and then it was like, “Hey! I feel normal again!” And I haven’t had any more episodes since. I don’t know what I did, or what I didn’t do, but I’ll take it. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. 

I will say though, I have been careful with my head movements. I’m not living like a robot, but I definitely don’t bend over and blow dry my hair anymore as I’m afraid when I come back up, I’ll have a vertigo episode. Maybe I’m being overly cautious, but if that is what it takes NOT to experience that Funhouse Hell again, I’ll take it. 

I put off seeing a doctor for a while. Again, I don’t have a primary care physician (PCP) and I really needed to become established with someone because you may be healthy, and that’s great, but if something happens, a PCP is a heck of a lot cheaper than Urgent Care or the ER. 

So I bit the bullet and went to see someone. It was a nurse practitioner actually, not a doctor, but that’s okay. I really only wanted two things from seeing someone:

  1. A referral to Ear, Nose, Throat. (Because it’s a specialty and usually requires a referral to see someone) and
  2. Do a full lab work up to make sure my levels were good and my thyroid was working correctly.

To begin the appointment, I told her my vertigo experience. I didn’t give her as much detail as I gave you guys, but rather, the cliff notes version. I explained that it was my one and only, (God willing), experience and I have no idea what happened and I pray it never happens again. Shen then proceeded to look in my ears. 

She couldn’t even see into my left ear canal. She said it was super small and she couldn’t see anything. 

She then looked in my right ear. And though I have wax build up, (because you couldn’t PAY me to stick a Q-tip in my ear at this point in time because I’m afraid I’ll trigger something or knock something loose – also, you’re not supposed to clean your ear like that), it wasn’t as much as she would have thought given my experience. 

She then told me that she would refer me to Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor, (YESSSS, goal #1 accomplished) and that she wanted to do a blood draw and run some labs to check my thyroid and various other levels. (YESSSS, goal #2 accomplished). 

She then said she wanted to make another appointment for me to come back for a full physical, including, but not limited to, a breast exam and paps smear. 

*sound of screeching tires*

Um, no.

I get why she wanted to do that. I’m menopausal and I’ve never seen a family doctor so she needed a base line, but erhm, no. But I made an appointment, and then I promptly rescheduled it out a few months because … UGH, NO.

The physical is now in February – the end of February. I may go … (but probably not).

I finally touched base with ENT. I’m scheduled to see them the first part of February. Yes. I could have gotten in sooner but … UGH. I loathe being messed with, whether that’s getting my hair done, my teeth worked on, or my body looked at. I. HATE. IT. But I know I need to get this checked out if for no other reason than to see what is going on with my inner ears and how I can hopefully prevent this vertigo thing from happening again. 

And that  brings you up-to-date on the vertigo thing. Thankfully, I haven’t have any issues with dizziness since Thanksgiving and everything is looking good. I’m still very aware of the way I position my body and not bending over or hanging my head down. And I think that helps. I hope it helps. At any rate, I’m not taking any chances on triggering another “attack.” 

I hope your 2022 is going well so far and that you’re staying healthy. We have a lot of people out sick at work and of course the hospital is freaking out about it because that’s what we do with this COVID nightmare, we over react. 

More on that soon. 

Politics

Hey Snowflakes

Karen

I love all types of music.

Save one.

Rap.

I DESPISE rap. Mostly. There is some rap that is tolerable but for the most part, I can’t get behind basically speaking to a beat. I’m sure it’s hard, I can’t do it, but it’s just not my jam.

However,

Tom MacDonald.

To be fair, I don’t have a lot of experience with rap. When you say rapper, I think of the thugs that exploit women, have a mouth full of gold teeth and who yell an expletive every other word. I’m sure there is some really good rap out there, I just haven’t come across it yet. And rapping, in a lot of ways, is story telling to a beat.

I suppose most music is story telling on many different levels.

But Tom MacDonald’s “Snowflakes” song caught my attention. Why? Because he speaks raps the truth.

I watched an interview with him and Brandon Tatum. He started out as a regular rapper, talking about how the police are bad, he wants money, women, etc. The same ole, same ole. Tom started to realize that he’s not doing anything different – he’s just mimicking the artists he admires.

But then he sank to a new low in his life, realized he was an alcoholic, and worked to get his life back together again.

All of this to say, I appreciate the message he’s putting out there. He claims not to be political, and maybe he’s not, but his lyrics speak the raw truth of what is going on in our country right now and I for one appreciate that. Music, TV shows, anything like that, affects your mental health. For example, Brandon talks about taking a 30-day challenge put out there by a Christian music station. They asked people to listen to them, and just them, for 30 days and see if it didn’t affect their attitudes. Brandon says he took that challenge and sure enough, he felt free, light, optimistic, etc. whereas he would listen some other types of music where the message was anger, violence, hate and he would feel angry and violent. You have to be careful what sort of material you surround yourself with because it DOES affect you.

What you put into your head comes out of your heart.

Just like being around negative people can make you feel negative. You have to have a strong mind and be truthful with yourself enough to realize when something is affecting you and step away. Get some fresh air. Get a different perspective. Learn all sides to a story before making snap judgements.

I would encourage you to watch Tom’s video, but better yet, pay attention to the lyrics:


“Snowflakes”

If you lie to the government they’ll put you in prison
But when they lie to all of us it’s called being a politician
You think taking guns away will save our kids from the killings
But your pro-choice abortion kills way more children
If America’s so terrible and racist
It probably isn’t safe to encourage immigration, just saying
All the contradictions are embarrassing
You know who hates America the most? Americans
Trigger warnings used to be on TV for seizures
And now they’re everywhere to protect millennials’ feelings
He, she, his, him, hers, them, they
Screw a pronoun, ’cause everyone’s a retard these days
I hear ’em preaching at a protest that hatred’s the problem
But hating straight men, white folks, and Christians is common
Coca Cola telling people they should be less white
They preaching tolerance but if you disagree, they fight
There’s a race war here, elections based on fear
Black lives only matter once every four years
Soldiers died for this country and every one of us benefits
Give welfare to the bums and forget about the veterans
Black folks and white folks divided by the news
But we’re all the same, we are red, white, and blue
Ashamed to be American? Okay, that’s cool
‘Cause honestly, we are all ashamed of you too

(Chorus) Y’all are so fake, oh no
The forecast said that there’d be snowflakes, whoa-oh
You can’t make us see it your way, no way, gasoline and propane
More flames, oh no
No more snowflakes

They set us up to fail, that’s what they built the system for
Put an ammunition shop across the street from a liquor store
Empowering women used to be different than this before
The role models got OnlyFans or dance on a stripper pole
Screw it, I ain’t tripping, I don’t mean to be mean
But if our children are the future then our future is bleak
They take an Adderall to focus, hit McDonald’s to eat
They’re addicted to phones and they take Xanax to sleep
They blurred the lines dividing communism and democracy
In 2021 we paint the patriots as Nazis
The men playing women’s sports get trophies for winning
Like great, let’s celebrate a man for beating some women
If you’re black, your life matters, you’re supposed to embrace it
If you’re rich or you’re smart then you’re probably Asian
If you’re gay then you’re brave, all of that I’m okay with
But if you’re white, the stereotype is you are a racist
Blaming capitalism like that’s the reason things are tough
While you tweet from an iPhone and sip on a Starbucks
You’re supporting what you stand against you don’t think you are but
A Percocet addict don’t donate money to pharma
Damn dog, we’re all afraid to speak the truth
And the more afraid we get, the more we hate the ones who do
You’re ashamed to be American, okay that’s cool
‘Cause honestly, we are all ashamed of you too

We could all get along but there’s no stopping, ay
Everybody’s wrong, that’s a real problem, ay
They don’t wanna hear it but they still talking, ay
Soon enough we running outta options, ay
This ain’t gonna end till it’s in a coffin, ay
We ain’t gon’ be friends till we try to squash it, ay
I don’t know how we can make amends or we drop it
Snowflakes melt when it’s hot, kid

There’s a lot of truth to his lyrics. This is the kind of stuff that our kids should be listening to – truth. Facts don’t care about feelings.

Another aspect of this I’ve seen conservative talking heads talk about is how it’s refreshing to have a pop-culture conservative message out there. If conservatives want to reach people, especially in today’s culture, we need to relay that message THROUGH pop culture. One of the reasons a lot of young people think conservatives are the devil incarnate is because they are never exposed to the conservative perspective – all of the entertainment they consume does a really good job of making conservatives out to be Hitler re-incarnate which is the exact opposite of what conservatism stands for. Hollywood, musicians, reality shows, all permeate liberal ideologies – young people are not going to sit down and listen to talking heads spout conservative stuff because it’s not fun, it’s not cool. So I’m hopeful that Tom MacDonald sets a trend for more conservative thinkers out there to realize that if we want young people to listen, or even entertain the thought of listening to the “other” side, that we realize that social media outlets and entertainment avenues is basically THE only way to get the message out there.

Do you think it’s a coincidence that “old” people are conservative and “young” people are liberal? It’s because being a conservative means being responsible, rational, logical and young people, for the most part, are immature, impulsive, and impatient.

I guess what I’m trying to say is make conservatism cool and relatable enough for people to pay attention to.

Updated: Here are some interesting, and strangely satisfying, reactions to Tom’s “Snowflakes” video.

One, Two, Three

There are many, many more interesting reaction videos to “Snowflakes.” Honestly, this gives me hope. Maybe enough people will see it, talk about it and learn from it – maybe things will start to change.

Maybe.

Life, Relationships

People Will Dislike You and That’s Okay

Karen

I really don’t know when I started not caring about what people thought of me. Maybe high school. I remember not really belonging to any one group, or click, I just … existed. I feel like I was “friends” with a lot of different people from those clicks, but I never allowed anyone to get super close to me, or really get to know me at all, hence the reason I put “friends” in quotations.

I had a best friend in high school. We have since lost touch. We connected briefly on Facebook but when the Zuckerberg Zombies started playing god and censoring free speech, I disabled my account and haven’t been back.

(Though typing this makes me want to jump on to see if she’s still around. I wouldn’t mind reconnecting, actually).

But other than my best friend, I didn’t really have any other close friends. I kept people at arm’s length. And if we’re being perfectly honest here, I feel like I kept my best friend at arm’s length, too.

I know why I have this …. aversion to allowing people to get close to me. I can really trace it back to two incidents, one I’m not willing to talk about on this blog but the other … was a boy.

I fell head over heels in “love” with this guy when I was in high school. I don’t even know if you could call it “love,” but it was strong, however you want to slap a label on it.

He wasn’t a student at my high school, he had already graduated from a neighboring school so he was older and worked at a Skateland, or whatever it was called back then. I can’t remember if his parents owned the rink but he was like a manager, or maybe he was simply popular because he was cute and all of the girls had crushes on him.

And yet, he expressed interest in me. This was a huge boost to my ego because I was never one of the popular girls. I didn’t belong to their group, but we were friendly, (remember the whole friends with different clicks thing?), so I belonged, but not really. I was one of those people with my face pressed to the glass but never allowed into the store, if that makes sense.

And in a lot of ways, I was perfectly okay with that. But the fact that this cute, popular guy took an interest in me … went straight to my head.

And I fell hopelessly in love with him.

Or so I thought. Or whatever you call the feeling you experience the first time you’re in “love.”

We dated for a while, I want to say weeks, but it felt longer, until I found out he was “cheating” on me with a girl I DESPISED.

I didn’t even try to salvage the relationship. There was no way in hell I was going to grovel at this man’s feet – if he didn’t want me, he didn’t want me.

But I was heartbroken. In fact, I would dare say the experience broke something in me. I’ve always been standoffish my whole life but after that experience? I never allowed anyone to get to close me again.

Even to this day. (Kevin is probably the only human who has been allowed to get to know the real me and even then, there is a deep, dark, part of my heart that I will not allow him access to – I honestly couldn’t tell you why – self preservation, I guess).

I wouldn’t say I’m cold, I have a lot of compassion and empathy for other people, but at the same time, I could give a rat’s ass if someone likes me or not. Well, that’s not entirely true, if I like/respect you, then it bothers me if I feel like I’ve disappointed or upset you, but since I don’t allow very many people to get to know ME, that number is quite small.

The majority of people? Meh.

I don’t say this to brag, I’m not even sure if this is a healthy behavior to subscribe to, but in a lot ways, I feel it’s preferable when compared to people who only want to please others or wear their heart on their sleeves. That must be an exhausting head space to live in. Because people are mean and cruel and can manipulate you into doing something outside your comfort zone, either unintentionally or purposefully.

I guess, if you want to psychoanalyze this, I don’t trust people. Again, I know why I feel this way, I can trace it back to specific incidents in my life, which helps me understand myself a little better and deal with disappointments that come my way. It’s just easier for me not to trust someone and allow them to get close as opposed to opening my heart and having that person betray me and open myself up to feeling vulnerable, disappointed, and foolish.

And before you feel sorry for me, let me stop you right there. I’m GLAD for these experiences and LIKE who I am as a person. Because the alternative breaks my heart a little bit.

I’ve worked with countless people over the years, all sort of personalities. And the personality that I feel the most sorry for, and the most impatient with, are people pleasers.

I TRULY don’t understand people with personalities that can’t handle criticism, constructive or otherwise, people that get upset if someone is harsh with them or clearly doesn’t like them. I don’t understand why anyone would CARE what others thought of them. Now, I get people that you know, love and respect, of course, I’m not completely cold and unfeeling, but strangers??

Why?!? Why does it matter if people you don’t know judge you, or call you names, try and manipulate/bully you into doing something you clearly don’t want to do?

Who cares what these asshats think?

Case in point – masks.

I work in healthcare – I don’t think our mask mandate is going away any time soon, unfortunately, but when we talked about our local city finally, FINALLY, lifting the mask mandate for our city, my coworkers got a little freaked out. I understand that they are comfortable wearing them, and if they want to continue wearing them, okay, but when I mentioned that Kevin and I haven’t been wearing masks for weeks, I got deer-in-headlights looks and gasps of shock.

“Oh. I can’t do that. I don’t want people judging me.”

I feel like this is a common response whenever people are put into situations where they have an option of swimming upstream – making decisions against the majority. I get that it’s difficult and takes courage, but if the biggest reason someone doesn’t want to make a decision is based solely on how others will perceive you? I can’t get behind that.

My response? JUDGE AWAY. I don’t care. You don’t know me. Your judgement is based on your own personal feelings and is not, in any way, a reflection of who I am or what I feel. I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think of a decision that I’ve made for ME.

Now. If this judgement is coming from someone I love and respect? Let’s talk. Tell me why you disagree and let’s break it down, but if you’re a stranger? Or someone I dislike or don’t care to get to know?

DON’T CARE.

I think this is a topic that everyone should think about. I think there might be less sheeple if people accepted the fact that you WILL be disliked, that you CAN’T please everyone, all you can do is make the best decisions for you and your family. There is no one size fits all. There is no my opinion is the ONLY opinion. It’s OKAY if people don’t like you.

Truly.

This guy is a little too “new agey” for me, but his message is spot on. I like what he says, “allow others the FREEDOM to disagree with you.” This means, it’s FINE if someone disagrees with you and/or makes choices you don’t agree with. This does NOT mean you have the right to jump on the cancel culture train and actively try and destroy his/her life.

How do you respond if someone disagrees with you and/or your choices?

NOTHING. You simply move on with life.

I also like what he says about people that don’t like you are really struggling to like themselves. BINGO. I feel like this summarizes this topic exactly. I’m betting, most of the time, people don’t dislike YOU, they dislike an aspect of you because it’s something about THEMSELVES they don’t like.

“And they can say whatever they want and it only affects them, it doesn’t have to affect you at all.”

If there are aspects of you that you don’t like, take an honest look at yourself and work on it. The more you feel confident on who and what you are, the more you will care less what others think of you and the happier you will be.

Peace.

Life

Take a Breath

Karen

Something else about masks …

I promise I’ll shut up about masks …

maybe …

eventually …

We went to our neighboring city’s Wal-Mart last night, (we go grocery shopping every Friday night after we eat – it’s one of our “date” nights – I know, we are ANIMALS), and it was so nice to see nearly everyone without a mask. It seemed so normal! It was nice to see people’s faces again.

Then, today, I went to my local Wal-Mart to grab some chocolate, (don’t judge), some Wheat Thins, (I’m OBSESSED with them right now), and some darker foundation, (because it’s summer and I tan very easily), and nearly everyone was wearing a mask!

*cue sad, dramatic music*

SIGH

Kevin and I are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we live in a liberal city. In fact, let me prove it:

Do you see that one white spot?

Yeah, that’s where we live and it’s the ONLY county in the ENTIRE state of Missouri that has NOT entirely lifted restrictions. Really? Really?!? What the actual hell? We’ve been in denial for a long time and it’s time for a reality check – we are surrounded by liberals. And the frustrating part, (among many), is that we had an opportunity to vote these mo-fos out of office but did we?? Nope. Why? Because most people are not paying attention to what’s going on around them and didn’t even bother to vote!

AARGH!

*deep breath* Anyway, Kevin and I refuse to wear a mask and people can just bite my butt because WE ARE OVER THIS PANDEMIC CRAP. It’s over. Accept it!

However, it got me thinking as to why people still choose to wear a mask and I’m betting the reasons go way beyond COVID. And this article caught my eye:

A number of women have come forth asserting they would prefer to keep wearing masks, even after the general public has discarded them, with some of the women offering explanations such as a mask functions as an “invisibility cloak” or acts “almost like taking away the male gaze.”

I found this fascinating. It never really occurred to me that people would WANT to continue wearing masks for reasons outside of COVID. But it makes sense to me. Masks hide your identity, they, in essence, make you invisible to people. Some of the reasons given in this article:

“I don’t want to feel the pressure of smiling at people to make sure everyone knows I’m ‘friendly’ and ‘likable.’ It’s almost like taking away the male gaze. There’s freedom in taking that power back.”

I can definitely relate to this reason. There are days the last thing I want to do is smile at people, or put on my happy face. People are exhausting, especially when you work with the public. You have to pretend so much when you’re around people, the good and the bad, and it gets old having to pretend something you’re not all the time. It’s also a great way to disguise my expressions because sometimes, I listen to patients and it’s all I can do not to grimace or frown, or whatever, and wearing a mask helps to hide my true feelings. My face is very expressive, (so I’ve been told), and I have a MEAN resting bitch face, the mask is great for covering that up.

I’m not sure what this commenter is saying about the “man gaze.” Does she mean the look that men give you when they think you’re attractive? As a woman, I understand that look and I agree, I don’t necessarily like it, but I would rather endure that look than continue to wear a face diaper.

“Maybe it’s because I’m a New Yorker or maybe it’s because I always feel like I have to present my best self to the world, but it has been such a relief to feel anonymous. It’s like having a force field around me that says ‘don’t see me.’”

I don’t know what being a New Yorker has to do with this comment but I agree, masks were a way to make you anonymous to the world. You blended in and in a lot ways, it did make you feel a bit invisible. I can relate to this sentiment because when I’m out in public, on my own time, doing my thing, I want to be left alone. I’m on a mission, to get what I need, or do what I need to do, and leave. Blending in was a perfect way for me to remain under the radar and not draw attention to myself.

“I just stare at that little box with my face in it and pick apart my appearance. My double chin seems six times larger, my eye bags are too deep of a purple, etc … Even when there’s a heatwave and my apartment is close to 90 degrees, I’ll wear a turtleneck that I can pull up. I pack on thick makeup that makes my skin peel. I 10,000% plan on wearing it for the foreseeable future. After a full work day of worrying and not being able to focus on my actual job, it just feels nice to blend in. Simply put, I’m sick of being perceived.”

This comment just makes me sad. I feel bad that people are so self-conscious about how they look that they would prefer to wear a face diaper than allow people to see them. I’m sorry some people feel this way, however, that’s even more of a reason to get out there and live your life instead of hiding from it. Take control, do something about those insecurities, whether that’s make different lifestyle choices or seek therapy – no one should want to wear a mask simply to hide physical imperfections.

I’ll never forget the first time we were FORCED to wear a mask. It was a trip to Wal-Mart shortly after this pandemic started and they wouldn’t allow you to come in without one. I was so furious the entire trip that by the time we got back out to our car, my heart rate was 160! I felt faint and JUST PISSED OFF. To me, wearing a mask is dehumanizing and humiliating. It does something to your psyche, at least, it did to mine, and I furious that they were taking my right to choose away from me. To me, I was being forced to abide by someone else’s fears. It dented my fierce sense of independence and I was resentful as hell.

(Still am).

I, for one, FULLY EMBRACE the fact that we’re doing away with masks. If you want to continue wearing one, go ahead, but I will not be participating any more.

I choose to breathe freely. Always.