Work Stuff

Just Breathe

Today is the reason I’ve gone ahead and planned our next vacation in April.

The nurse that I work with now is on maternity leave, which leaves me, myself and I pulling up the slack. That’s okay, I can handle it, she’s only going to be gone for 10 weeks.

Seven weeks and 1 day left.

But who’s counting.

I’m doing two jobs now, hers and mine. Oh sure, I have other nurses helping out, I have a covering nurse every day, but let’s be honest, their doctors come before mine; I would be the same way. So, my doctor is counting on me to take up the slack. I braced myself for this, I’ve been down this road before.

Only the last time I was by myself I was RELIEVED to be rid of my nurse. My past nurse was a nightmare, my current nurse is a dream come true.

I prayed so hard for a good nurse to replace the one I had and God answered my prayers.

Yesterday was crazy. Our doctors are usually out of the office the last two weeks of the year and this year was no exception. My doctor returned to the office on Wednesday and of course, I spent all day Thursday playing catch up, calling patients back, working patients in for next week (did I mention my doctor was on call Wednesday, too? Well, he was).

I got a lot done today but I still have a lot to do. Who am I kidding, it’s a never-ending cycle. I had a patient just show up today, she expected to get her sutures removed, she was too early. My doctor sees his post-op patients at two weeks as opposed to his partners who see their patients at four weeks. Our patients get their staples/sutures removed at their post-op appointments. This patient was not very happy with me since she drove an hour and a half and her husband took off work. She wasn’t mad at me, she was mad at the person who told her it was okay to come in.

This is what happens when you don’t care enough to help patients, it trickles down to the next unsuspecting, and dare I say, undeserving person.

I smoothed the waters but after an already hectic morning, it set my teeth on edge. I tend to have very little patience for ineptitude anyway, let alone I don’t give a shit attitudes.

True story, I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t really like people all that much though if you were ever to meet me you would not believe that statement. I have a “persona” when I’m at work, I’m switched ON. I become a different person. I don’t necessarily dislike this person I become at work, it’s just EXHAUSTING to be this person at work. I hear so many stories, I field so many questions, I smooth so many waters that by the time I get home from work, I’M DONE. I can’t stand the thought of seeing another person or speaking to another person.

Poor Kevin.

Hence the reason I’ve been MIA on this blog for the past several years.

But at the same time, my job is rewarding; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Yes, it’s stressful, yes, you’re never, ever caught up, but it’s deeply satisfying and it’s never boring. I’m constantly being challenged and I feel bored if I’m juggling at least four balls at once.

Speaking of stressful, I feel I’ve aged ten years this past year. The two years I was stuck with the worst nurse in the history of nurses really broke me. I feel like my face sags more and I definitely have more wrinkles. Even Kevin has commented on it. Stress really does age you.

But even though I look stressed, I don’t really feel that stressed anymore. I’m comfortable with what I’m doing, I’m confident that I know my doctor and his preferences, I’m comfortable around my team members and I love my doctor’s new nurse – she is truly a spectacular nurse.

I’m confident things will settle down and we’ll have more of  a routine once my nurse comes back from maternity leave.

But right now? I need to remind myself to stop, relax and breathe. Life is too short to stress about the small stuff.

Just breathe.

Life

Slowing Down

You know it’s funny, but ever since deleting my blog, the blog I had up and running for a little over three years, I feel … cleansed. I can’t really describe the overwhelming feeling of freedom I’m experiencing right now.

It’s quite liberating. I felt like a prisoner within my own writing and I didn’t like it. I’m tired of succumbing to outside sources, this is my blog and I plan on keeping it that way. No frilly, silly junk; from this point on you can expect thought-provoking, intelligent correspondence.

HAHAHAHA.

Well, maybe not the intelligent part. 😉

You know how you feel when you’re in a tense situation and after it’s over you realize, with surprise, that you had been holding your breath the entire time? That’s how I was beginning to feel with my blog. The posts, weren’t really mine anymore. I was writing with the sole intention of entertaining people and that’s fine, if that’s what you want, but for me? I got away from what’s important to me – my family, what’s happening in my life and my pursuit to get published.

Now that my blog is gone, well, not really gone, it’s here, on wordpress.com, I feel so much more relaxed. I don’t have to stress if my server goes down and I can stop apologizing for glitches or anything else that goes wrong. I can give that responsibility over to wordpress now and if something happens, it’s out of my hands. I know the good folks at wordpress back everything up, on a regular basis, so there’s very little chance I’ll lose anything and that … comforts me.

I’m a controlling personality. It’s sometimes nice to step away from that control once in a while.

Anyway, moving on …

I’m writing this entry Wednesday night at 5:42 p.m. I’m waiting for the husband to get home from work and dinner will be ready (we’re having baked spaghetti – tip: heat some tomato sauce and pour over the spaghetti when you take it out of the oven, it’s delicious!). The kids are relaxed and doing their own thing and I’ve decided this is really the perfect time for me to sit down and write the next day’s entry. I’m still (semi) awake to be coherent and most of the day has passed by so I can reflect on it. After I finish writing this, I’ll pre-post it and forget about it until tomorrow night when I start the whole process over again. I will no longer spend HOURS hunting the Internet for entertaining things to share with you or HOURS pre-posting hundreds of posts ahead of time; I’m done rushing through my life, I’m ready to sit back and enjoy what ever comes my way. I hope you’ll stick around and enjoy it with me.

But if not, I understand. Perhaps my new blogging plan disappoints you. Perhaps you looked forward to my silly posts and though I can’t promise my posts here will be on the same level as before, I can promise they will be heartfelt and honest – or at least, as honest as I can be given my audience. 🙂

I am constantly telling my husband to slow down, enjoy life, stop trying to cram every single minute of your day with something to do. And though I was never on the same level as him (he genuinely exhausted me at times when we first got married), I was doing the same thing with my online presence.

I’m going to kick back and savor every moment because my children are getting older. GD will be in TENTH grade next year, MK will be in EIGHTH grade next year, our lives will never be the same, so why am I trying to gloss it over and forego recording my family moments for some silly picture of a puppy or giving some cool prizes away just to draw readers? (Though I won’t promise I won’t do that again sometime in the future *ahem*)

The last day of school is tomorrow and I’m so ready. I’m looking forward to not having to stop my day, twice, in order to drive all over town to pick the boys up. I’m looking forward to letting them sleep in and I’m REALLY looking forward to morning smiles as opposed to morning frowns and general snarkiness, and then dealing with the boys’ grouchiness on top of that. *grin*

And I’m looking forward to sharing these moments with you. Thank you for being patient with me. And please, have a wonderful day. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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