Just Breathe

Today is the reason I’ve gone ahead and planned our next vacation in April.

The nurse that I work with now is on maternity leave, which leaves me, myself and I pulling up the slack. That’s okay, I can handle it, she’s only going to be gone for 10 weeks.

Seven weeks and 1 day left.

But who’s counting.

I’m doing two jobs now, hers and mine. Oh sure, I have other nurses helping out, I have a covering nurse every day, but let’s be honest, their doctors come before mine; I would be the same way. So, my doctor is counting on me to take up the slack. I braced myself for this, I’ve been down this road before.

Only the last time I was by myself I was RELIEVED to be rid of my nurse. My past nurse was a nightmare, my current nurse is a dream come true.

I prayed so hard for a good nurse to replace the one I had and God answered my prayers.

Yesterday was crazy. Our doctors are usually out of the office the last two weeks of the year and this year was no exception. My doctor returned to the office on Wednesday and of course, I spent all day Thursday playing catch up, calling patients back, working patients in for next week (did I mention my doctor was on call Wednesday, too? Well, he was).

I got a lot done today but I still have a lot to do. Who am I kidding, it’s a never-ending cycle. I had a patient just show up today, she expected to get her sutures removed, she was too early. My doctor sees his post-op patients at two weeks as opposed to his partners who see their patients at four weeks. Our patients get their staples/sutures removed at their post-op appointments. This patient was not very happy with me since she drove an hour and a half and her husband took off work. She wasn’t mad at me, she was mad at the person who told her it was okay to come in.

This is what happens when you don’t care enough to help patients, it trickles down to the next unsuspecting, and dare I say, undeserving person.

I smoothed the waters but after an already hectic morning, it set my teeth on edge. I tend to have very little patience for ineptitude anyway, let alone I don’t give a shit attitudes.

True story, I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t really like people all that much though if you were ever to meet me you would not believe that statement. I have a “persona” when I’m at work, I’m switched ON. I become a different person. I don’t necessarily dislike this person I become at work, it’s just EXHAUSTING to be this person at work. I hear so many stories, I field so many questions, I smooth so many waters that by the time I get home from work, I’M DONE. I can’t stand the thought of seeing another person or speaking to another person.

Poor Kevin.

Hence the reason I’ve been MIA on this blog for the past several years.

But at the same time, my job is rewarding; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Yes, it’s stressful, yes, you’re never, ever caught up, but it’s deeply satisfying and it’s never boring. I’m constantly being challenged and I feel bored if I’m juggling at least four balls at once.

Speaking of stressful, I feel I’ve aged ten years this past year. The two years I was stuck with the worst nurse in the history of nurses really broke me. I feel like my face sags more and I definitely have more wrinkles. Even Kevin has commented on it. Stress really does age you.

But even though I look stressed, I don’t really feel that stressed anymore. I’m comfortable with what I’m doing, I’m confident that I know my doctor and his preferences, I’m comfortable around my team members and I love my doctor’s new nurse – she is truly a spectacular nurse.

I’m confident things will settle down and we’ll have more of  a routine once my nurse comes back from maternity leave.

But right now? I need to remind myself to stop, relax and breathe. Life is too short to stress about the small stuff.

Just breathe.

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