Life, NaNoWriMo

Memories Are Cheap Nowadays

I just purchased a memory.

For $2.25, to be exact.

I am currently sitting in the Missouri State University library. I’m on the second floor and it is so quiet, I can hear my own heart beating. I am using my Mini-Dell and it’s a bit frustrating because the keyboard is so much smaller than what I’m used to, (especially the apostrophe and quote button – WHY did they put it way down there??). But I will get used to it … eventually. I guess I won’t have a choice, considering NaNoWriMo starts this Saturday.

At the MSU Library - Close up
(My cute LITTLE computer).

It’s been five years since I’ve been on this campus (I graduated in ’03) and not much has changed. It was really strange walking across campus again and pretending to belong to the rest of the crowd; the YOUNG crowd. Even when I went here, I always felt uncomfortable because I was always one of the oldest “kids” in class.

Being Serious
(Trying to be “serious” and incognito).

But when I walked the mile and a half from my car to the library (I had to park in the metered section, hence the $2.25 and of course, it’s not close to anything), the memories came flooding back. I was tempted to go to my old English building and see if any of my old professors were still around. It’s only been five years, but that can be a lifetime when you’re talking about college life.

The campus is full of life and sizzling with energy. I saw a group of kids being led around by the nose while their tour guide walked them around campus and talked about the various buildings, etc. In fact, I’m pretty sure I saw the whites of one kid’s eyes, he was taking it all in so fast.

I walked among all the students and secretly studied their mannerisms and various modes of dress. I suddenly felt homesick … for school. I had almost forgotten that there was an “art” to weaving in and around people when classes changed. I’m proud to say, I only bumped two people and knocked one person off balance once – not bad for a rusty dodger. *grin*

I felt like an intruder – I did not like the feeling.

I passed a dude who whipped out a mini flute out of his back pocket and began playing a catchy little tune while he walked down the sidewalk. Many students stepped out of their stupors and looked up in surprise at his audacity to express himself.

Not saying that students are a bunch of cattle, but when you’re so focused on trying to do your best and memorize everything that’s thrown at you, sometimes you simply don’t remember to join the rest of the living.

If you were ever a college student, you would understand what I mean by that.

I just tried connecting to the internet, no go. They have WiFi available, but you have to have a username and password to login and I’m too embarrassed to walk down to the front desk and ask them what hoops I need to jump through in order to get that information.

But maybe that’s okay, I’d just get distracted and wouldn’t get any work done anyway.

I’m here to work on my outline. And now I have about 2 ½ hours to work on it before my meter runs out. I only paid for three hours because it’ll be time to pick up the kids pretty soon and though I would love to stick around here all day and simply soak in the college atmosphere, the kids might not appreciate my desire to walk down memory lane.

One thing about this library? It doesn’t smell. It doesn’t have that bookish smell. It’s clean. It’s not even that dusty. If this woman sitting across from me ever leaves, I’ll take some pictures. I am sitting behind a huge column though (because it has an outlet), so I was able to take a few pictures of my table, but I’d like to take more to give you a better idea of why I LOVE THIS PLACE!

I miss college. I really do. I loved learning. I loved the people. I felt so alive and smart when I went here. And I even miss spending hours and hours in this very library frantically pounding out paper after paper that were all due at the same time and all worth about 90% of my grade in every class.

In fact, I remember one time, I spent nearly 8 full hours in this library researching and writing about a 20 page paper that was due the next day. I remember drinking gallons of coffee and staying until the wee hours of the morning hunched over my laptop while trying to figure out why a certain table was acting the way it was. It was an incredibly frustrating, yet exhilarating experience in my life. I went to college full-time while the kids were in school. I worked nights full time. I got virtually no sleep and was stressed 92% of my waking time, but MAN, I had fun.

And I really miss those days. I often jokingly ask the husband what he thought about me going back to school for my masters degree – he’ s not crazy about that idea. And okay, I’ll be honest, I’m not really joking but someday, I would love to come back, if for nothing else than to simply LEARN more stuff.

I love to learn.

Hey, that lady took off. So, here’s another picture of my setup…

At the MSU Library - Far Away

Okay, back to business. I need to get started on my characters. I cut some pictures out of the JCPenney catalog last night – I thought the models were interesting looking. I need pictures of my characters because I’m a visual person and I just work better like that.

Character Pictures
(Say hello to my NaNoWriMo characters)

Enough playing around. I need to get started. Thanks for making the trip down memory lane with me. I plan on haunting the campus library a lot these next few weeks … or at least until I go broke from feeding the meter monsters.

Feel Like a Student Again
(I miss being a student! Wah!)

Hope your day is going well!

UPDATE: I hammered out my main characters and wrote a tentative prologue and outlined the first two chapters. I don’t dare spend more time on my outline – it’ll just change anyway. In fact, I’ll be lucky if I even use what I wrote today.

I’m like the world’s most unorganized writer, EVAH!

Time to pick up the kids!

Bye.

Life

Camped Out

I will be spending my day working on my outline for NaNoWriMo, so I won’t have time to write anything for this blog.

This was originally published October 2006. In fact, I had to smile when I read this post because we’re thinking about going camping next weekend, for my birthday. Some things never change.

Have a great Wednesday, ya’ll!

Updated: I got SQUAT done on my outline! I mean nothing, nada, zip, big, fat zero! AARG! What is wrong wit me? It’s like, “Oh look, I still have two whole days before I HAVE to start writing – outline-schmoutline, I don’t need no stinkin’ outline. But actually, I do! Wah! I’m such a deadhead! 😦

______________________________________

We packed up the Cub (i.e. camper/trailer) and headed back down to our favorite camping spot, Cooper Creek in Branson, Missouri this past weekend. This will probably be our last camping trip of the year unless the weather is nice around Thanksgiving. Camping in the fall is our absolute favorite time to camp – the weather is warm, but not hot. There aren’t very many bugs and the leaves are beginning to turn, transforming the world into a multi-colored kaleidoscope of reds, oranges, and yellows.

Campsite View

This is the view from our campsite. We reserved a spot right off Lake Taneycomo – we were able to unzip the canvas walls of our back bed (our camper has fold-out beds) watch boats lazily idle by and people cleaning their catch of the day.

Our weather couldn’t have been more perfect – sunny and high 70’s during the day, low 40’s at night. We all slept great, until our neighbors’ dogs started barking at the crack of dawn. (They had FIVE schnauzers. Five people! Who takes five dogs with them camping?!)

We didn’t do much. We arrived at the campsite last Thursday evening – we took off right after the kids got out of school on Thursday (they were out of school on Friday). We had a moment of panic when we brought the first bed down and water sloshed out. The water was brownish and smelled pretty rank so it must have been sitting there since the last time we camped (in July). Hopefully we can figure out where it’s leaking and fix it before our canvas rots.

We went out to eat Thursday night at a Chinese buffet. I made the mistake of sampling a really spicy dish and well … had problems the rest of the weekend (we’ll just leave it at that)

On Friday, the hubs and I went shopping and bought the boys some long-sleeved t-shirts from the outlet malls. We also visited the discount bookstore we ALWAYS visit when we go to Branson. Unfortunately, we also learned they were closing down. We were heartbroken. These bookstores have the best prices and I always buy a ton of books whenever we’re down there. We wrapped up that shopping trip pretty bummed out. Now we’ll have to find a new bookstore to browse when we’re down there.

Friday night the hubs built a fire and the kids roasted marshmallows. They ate about the first half dozen or so, but then it became a game to see who could squish the most together and then burn them into grotesque shapes.

Saturday we drove down to the dam to see if the guys would have better luck with their fishing – they didn’t. In fact, no one even got a nibble all weekend long. The guys were pretty disappointed but it was fun to watch them climb the huge rocks down to the shore and even more fun to watch them climb back up. Me? I wasn’t about to risk turning an ankle or injuring my back, so I stayed at the top and nervously chewed my fingernails. No one was hurt, thank goodness.

I had several opportunities to work on my NaNoWriMo outline, but I didn’t. In fact, I plugged my laptop into an outside outlet on our trailer and set it up on a picnic table overlooking the lake. I was all set to work, but I got distracted by the sparkling water and passing boaters. I spent most of the time daydreaming and listening to the hum of my notebook.

Though I didn’t get any work done, I savored the peace and quiet. Sitting there, observing nature’s tranquility and breathing in the fresh woodsy smell surrounding me, I felt small knots of anixety begin to loosen deep in my gut. It was nice to just sit and BE – to simply exist. There were no demands. There were no deadlines. It was just me and nature, peacefully co-existing.

*sigh*

I need to get away like that more often.

Life-condensed

My Dog is Smarter Than Your Honor Student … Huh?

I’m seeing these things all over cars where I live:

null

What does that even mean?? Is that an insult to children? Is that an insult to the parents of honor students? Are animal owners jealous of people with honor students? Is that dissing our school system? Our teachers? Our education system overall?

I’ve even seen a bumper sticker like this on an SUV that I see in the car line everyday when picking up my sons. So I’m assuming they have a child at that school. Is this an insult to their child? How does that child feel being compared to the family pet and in essence being told, “Our dog is smarter than you are!”

AARGH! I’m confused!

I seriously don’t get it.

I have a headache trying to make sense of this.

Enlighten me, Internet.

Life-condensed

Seriously Disturbed and Just a Bit Flabbergasted

null

I’m disturbed and confused over this statement that Biden made last week:

“Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking,” Biden said.

“Remember I said it standing here. if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy. And he’s gonna have to make some really tough — I don’t know what the decision’s gonna be, but I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it’s gonna happen,” Biden continued.

Have you heard about this? I’m betting no. Why hasn’t the news media picked up on this? You can bet your bottom dollar it would have been ALL we heard about if a Republican candidate had said something similar. Why aren’t we hounding Senator Biden to explain this statement? Do we really need further proof that our liberal media is seriously biased?

Why do I get the feeling that Biden knows something and is trying to warn us? And what exactly does he mean by “generated crisis?” Have we already been threatened?

And the bigger question is, IF Obama makes it to the White House, how will he react IF we’re attacked again? Will he be decisive and strong, thereby discouraging future attacks? Or will he be too concerned about hurting someone’s feelings to react at all?

I’m telling you folks, this seriously worries me.

Life

Fleeting Thoughts

I’m craving donuts. I mean, the all-I-can-think-about-or-I-will-die-without-having-that-sweet-gooey-goodenss-in-my-mouth sort of craving. I’m so, so tempted to run to Krispy Kreme after posting this and buying these scrumptious pumpkin-shaped donuts.

<——-

Donuts are my Kryptonite, seriously.

Who’s with me! Anyone feel like making a donut run!?!


I feel icky today. I just sucked on a Zicam and now I feel worse. (The rhino? Yeah, that’s totally me today).

But no worries, this is normal for me. Zicam, for those that don’t know, is supposed to trigger your natural antibodies into action. They, in turn, aggressively race through your body and munch on bad viral cells.

I don’t know how it works exactly, but it works for me. After taking one, and then feeling like walking dog poop for about fifteen minutes, I feel better.

My sinuses are acting up (which they always do when the weather changes) and I’m prone to sinus infections. Nose spray and Zicam usually fight them off. We’ll see if I was successful this go-around.

Do you take, or do, anything to ward off impending sickness?


Mmmm … donuts ….


I finished a full-fledged blog template for a client yesterday. In fact, this client is attending a conference this weekend and will likely show this blog around. *gulp* I’m both nervous and excited about that – it could mean more business for me.

I’m ready. I can handle it (I hope).

I’ve played around with my own templates quite a bit over the past several months, but this was the first time that I actually manipulated someone else’s template. I feel pretty good about it. I think it’s a good combination of pretty and classy. I’m hoping to do more templates very soon. I learned A LOT by doing this last template and I’m feeling a bit more confident about my abilities. I’m setting up my blog template, er, blog now and will hopefully have it up and running before NaNoWriMo starts.

In the meantime, I’m also thinking about what I want to do with this blog template. I would like to do something fun, funky and satisfying (which means I don’t want to be tempted to play around with it next year so I can concentrate on other projects) and I’m on an active hunt for the perfect graphic.

If you could redo your blog template, what sort of design would you want? What overall (visual) message do you want your blog to say?

Me? I want something to do with writing, of course. I had a really cute design on my self-hosted blog that I will likely use for my design template business blog.

But this blog? I haven’t decided yet.

Any suggestions?


Must. Have. Donuts.


Kids are doing well. This school year is chugging right along. The grades could be better, but they’re not bad, so we’re good.

The husband has been helping MK out with his algebra and seriously, it’s like Greek to me. I have NO idea what they are talking about. Of course, I don’t let on that I’m clueless, but honestly? It’s embarrassing to have kids that are smarter than you.


I’m still craving donuts.


GD has been acting so … mature lately. It’s such a relief to see him settling down and feeling more comfortable with himself. He’s gotten into the habit of stopping his gaming around 9ish, taking his shower and then cracking open his books to study for quizzes, etc.

All without me telling him to!

Even though it’s rewarding to see him take the initiative (have I mentioned lately that he’s still making a B+ in Japanese and seriously thinking about taking Japanese II next year?!), it’s also sad – he’s definitely not my baby anymore.

Though he hasn’t been actively talking about his future (i.e. college), I can tell he’s thinking about it. He’s been bringing home flyers from school about ACT workshops and various other college-prep information and I can tell this is making an impact on him.

He will graduate in 2 1/2 years. And though he joked that that was a long time, I think he’s beginning to realize that actually? It’s not.


Donuts …..


I’m preparing a series of NaNoWriMo writing workshops to post at Write Anything beginning tomorrow. I actually have no idea what I’m doing, but hopefully, the workshops will help motivate and generate some ideas for people. If you have a chance, stop by and take a gander! And if you have any advice, or you’ve written about any of the topics showcased next week, share your links! I, for one, would love to take a look.


The Fall library book sale starts the 21st. Oh. My. Gosh. Book sales are like Christmas mornings for me. I HEART them!! In fact, I usually go a minimum of three times before I’m booked out.

My husband just rolls his eyes at me. But he knows better than to try and talk me out of going. I have two huge plastic containers full of books in the garage – one is full of the books I bought during the spring book sale and haven’t read yet, and the other container is full of books I’ve read and have listed on Bookmooch – that are just WAITING for some lucky book worm to love and read. *HINTHINT*

Books – it’s a sickness with me.

Mooch from me – please. I’m begging you!!


That’s it.

Uncle.

I’m making a donut run.

Ciao, or chow, whatever the case may be. *grin*

null

Life

Determined to Succeed

This was originally published on my self-hosted blog, October 3, 2006.

So, the family get-together this past weekend was fun.

No, I’m not just saying that. We were the first family (in-town) to arrive so we had our out-of-town guests’ full attention. We caught up and miraculously, I was able to keep the conversation going without having to endure any of those awkward silences that accompany small talk.

People are good. We got to meet my husband’s second cousin’s baby and she’s one of the sweetest little girls I’ve ever met. She didn’t know a stranger. She immediately held up a hand and flashed us all a smile (translation: hello). She was passed around and over-stimulated and still, the girl was all smiles. She was a real trooper and a real treat to play with.

I occasionally experience pockets of time when I severely wish we had tried for one more child, just another chance to perhaps have a girl this time, and being around T. this past weekend, well, it was one of those times.

The rest of the family trickled in and we all had a good meal of tacos and enchiladas together. We exchanged news:

Me: “How was your vacation in Florida?”

SIL: “Great! The best family vacation we’ve ever had together. The weather was perfect, we all had a good time doing things together. It was hard to come back.”

Me to other SIL: “How was your camping trip last week?”

Other SIL: “Wet. It rained on us the whole time we were there …”

Interrupted by my nephew: “Not the whole time, mom. We had decent weather the last two days.”

Another nephew pipes in: “We went swimming in the lake and MAN! Talk about freezing! I wasn’t sure I was going to make it to the other side.”

My uncle-in-law: “So, what’s new with you? Still doing the website thing?”

Me: “Oh yeah. I’ve picked up a few clients, things are going well.” I quickly change the subject because I LOATHE talking about myself. “How is California?”

Uncle-in-law: “Different.”

Me: “Ah.”

I turn to my husband’s second cousin, the one with the new baby. “So, how is motherhood treating you?”

Cousin-in-law: “Great! It’s been really tough, but I’m starting to get the hang of it.”

Me: “I hear T. is going to be a year old next month. Are you gearing up for a big party?”

Cousin-in-law: “Oh yeah, of course!”

Pause

Another uncle-in-law: “Hey, have you seen my new scooter?”

Me: “No, but I’ve heard about it. How are you liking it?”

Uncle-in-law: “Love it.”

Pause

My mother-in-law: “Hey! It’s time to eat everyone!”

Everyone continues talking.

MIL: “Get in here now before it gets cold!”

And the afternoon droned on. Small talk here, chit-chat there. It was like playing musical chairs only with conversation.

A few relatives are doing VERY well. I can’t help but be just a tiny bit jealous of their success. Not that they don’t deserve it, but I suppose it’s human nature to be a little envious of others. My life is pretty boring in comparison. I loathe talking about myself because well, there’s not much to talk about. My life is on an even keel and I like it like that. I’m not a risk taker, I’m not involved in any extra-curricular activities, I don’t have any funny friends’ adventures to talk about – people have to suppress yawns when they are around me.

I get really uncomfortable when it comes time to compare achievements. I really don’t feel like I have too many to my name. And certainly nothing new since the last time I saw them. I have to wonder if they noticed how I completely glossed over my life and turned the questions back on them.

I find I do that a lot. I hate being the center of attention, for any reason. I prefer to just lurk in the shadows and complete thankless jobs. That’s why I love websites so much; I can do so much behind the scenes. The schools are all grateful for my work, but there are very few people who have actually seen me. All of my correspondence is through email and I have to confess, I really like it like that.

As I was sitting there, listening to success story after success story, a small bitter lump began to form in my chest. Here I am, 40-something years old and what exactly do I have to show for it? I had dreams of being published several times over by this time.

But I have to honest with myself – whose fault is that? I have no one to blame but myself for my lack of achievements. I haven’t pushed myself. I haven’t submitted anything because as long as no one sees my work, then I can fool myself into thinking it’s halfway decent – that I still have a shot at being a successful writer.

I left the gathering on Sunday with a heavy heart. I’m determined to have something to show the next time they are down here. Not so much to impress them, or to make my family proud of me, but to impress myself, to be proud of myself and to have tangible proof that I’m worth something, damn it.

Have you ever been jealous of your family members?

Life

Getting the Shot

Getting the Shot

My husband, doing one of things he does best – experimenting with photography.

I’ll post his picture in tomorrow’s Wordless Wednesday. It’s quite stunning, in a creepy sort of way. 🙂

By the way, I LOVE it when he turns his ball cap backwards like that.

*growl*