Life-condensed

At This Moment …

— I’m eating tuna and crackers. Even though I’m not particularly fond of tuna, I need the protein because tonight is a workout night and I need the energy to do both Turbo Jam and walk.

— I just finished updating several school websites and posting their February newsletters. (I LOVE doing school websites!)

— Just got a mass email from GD’s math teacher – he has his first geometry test tomorrow. *gulp*

— I read this article on BoingBoing about Life at Wal-Mart, (if you click over, be sure and read the comments, there’s an interesting dialogue going on over there), which lead me to this dude’s website and now I can’t stop thinking about “The American Dream.” I agree with Adam, achieving the American Dream isn’t so much about economic or social issues, but rather, our attitudes and willingness to work for it.

True, life isn’t fair. True, life sucks sometimes. True, some of us have to work harder because we’re stuck in less-than-ideal circumstances, but I think we waste more time complaining about it and not enough time doing something about it. The bottom line is, are we willing to endure the discomforts and inconveniences in order to grab that golden ring and succeed in life? I wonder …

— I just got an email from the husband – he wants to know if we can compromise on this dog issue. If we fence in the backyard, would I be willing to have a dog then? My very first reaction to reading his email was annoyance. Leave it alone, my mind screamed. But then right on the heels of that thought was stop being so selfish, Karen. All three of your guys want a dog, who died and made you Queen of the house?

I’m being selfish. I’m feeling bad. I’m caving.

I need to get over myself. I need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of having a pet and think about the (few) positive aspects of having a pet.

So, I’ve been researching … stay tuned. This is going to get interesting.

— I’m now on my way to the bank and then I’m going to brave this store (I always feel so old when I go into these types of stores) and see if I can’t find a fedora for GD. His buddy stayed over Friday night and of course, he came over wearing a very cool black fedora and GD’s mouth started watering. If I’m successful at finding one, I’ll post a picture of him wearing it later.

— I set up a poll in my sidebar. It’s about BlogHer. Since BlogHer is in Chicago and about 8 hours from where I live, I could easily drive there. So going for me, is plausible. The only thing is, do I want to? If you have a few minutes, can you take my poll? I’m curious to know if anyone that visits this blog is going. I’ve left an open-ended option on the poll so please fill in your own answers. I don’t know, I have mixed feelings about going …

— PU – it smells awfully fishy in here … *cough*

UPDATE: GD changed his mind on a hat. However, MK bought this one:

Day 34

Not a fedora, but more of a bowler. It suits him. NOW can we drop the hat issue? Please?!

Life

Enjoying Winter Wonderland, While It Lasts

It is really hard to blog when the kids are home.

It’s not that they are loud or anything (in fact, they’re so quiet that I forget they’re here a lot of times) or constantly tapping me on the shoulder to ask me questions (I miss those days), it’s me. I have to be completely isolated in order to write – okay fine, to think.

When the kids are home, I’m in “mom” mode. My instincts go into overdrive and every little squeak of their chairs or the tap of their keyboards distract me. It’s especially hard to concentrate when they have their headsets on (like now) and I can hear their conversations with their friends – they sound so grown up and I’m a little jealous that they’ve created worlds where I’m not welcome.

So if this post doesn’t make sense, you’ll know why. Because my focus is being constantly punctured by “kid presence.”

It snowed last night.

Snowy Backyard
(Looking into our backyard)

In fact, it snowed quite a bit.

Snow Level
(See the snow level under our camper?)

And it was a gorgeous sight.

I know this, because I was out in it.

The husband came home early last night so he could drive me around. I had to go to Blockbusters in order to return some movies, Walgreens (for some Charcocaps – remember I talked about those yesterday?) and Harter House to pick up some arm roast for our BBQ sandwiches we plan on having Thursday night for dinner. (Yes, I’m one of those anal people who plan their menus ahead of time). He had to drive me because I was too much of a wuss to get out on my own.

Well, that was part of the reason, the other part was because I wasn’t sure if my Vibe, which sits pretty low to the ground, wouldn’t get stuck. And considering the husband drives an F150 truck and he loves to drive in this stuff anyhow, I figured I’d play the helpless female card and sweet talk him into playing my knight in shining armor.

There wasn’t much resistance on his end. ::wink::

So we’re out. And the streets are dead because they’re a mixture of slushy and slick and no one wants to be out in this mess. We pull into Walgreen’s when the snow starts. Big, fat, beautiful flakes began to gently descend from the heavens and it’s absolutely breath-taking. It’s the kind of snow that instantly covers your hair and shoulders the moment you step outside; the kind of flakes that drop softly, end-over-end until they land ever so gently on the ground – the crystals intact and shimmering in the soft glow of the street lights.

I felt like I was stuck in a snow globe. The world around us had been forced to slow down, even stop in some places. It was a magical moment.

We hurried home and opened the windows to show the boys. They were mesmerized and quickly stepped into their slippers to go outside and stand in the falling flakes. It was such a peaceful, happy, quiet moment because there was enough snow by this time to muffle the world around us. We felt isolated, yet together. It was a special family moment.

It’s now 10:57 a.m. and the sun is trying really hard to break through the clouds. Temperatures are expected to reach above freezing tomorrow and climb all the way to the 40’s by this weekend.

Our winter wonderland will soon disappear.

The husband is on his way home to pick us up for lunch. I have no idea where we will go, but it will be nice, regardless, because we’ll be together.

Life

At this Moment …

Our current weather situation is:

Radar - 1/27

We’re in Springfield Missouri, in case you didn’t know that.

And as you can see, we’re buried under that big pink blob. And it looks bad.

Only, it’s really not that bad. In this case, it looks worse than it really is. We did get some sleet last night, about 1/2 inch, and school was canceled today as a result of slick roads, but the accumulation is more of a crunchy consistency at this point, sort of like walking on pebbles, than anything else.

But it’s a solid mass of pebbles. I just tried to scoop some up to take a picture of it in the palm of my hand, but I couldn’t do it. In fact, the only thing I could do was scratch the surface – it’s solid and it’s slick. Since we’re not supposed to get above freezing today, I’m predicting school will be canceled tomorrow as well.

This is what my world looks like right now, right this minute as seen from my back door:

Icy Wonderland

When I was standing outside to take this picture, I could hear the dreaded soft tinkling of ice falling – it’s sleeting right now. There’s nothing quite like that tinkle sound as the ice falls through the tree branches and embeds itself into the earth. It’s a flat pinging sound and Missourians are all too familiar with that sound. It’s a hard, solid sleeting though as opposed to a more wet consistency and it’s not really sticking to the trees but falling more like, well, pebbles.

This is typical winter weather for us. We don’t get snow very often, but we do get ice. Which is much worse because it’s hazardous to drive on, and heavy enough to snap tree limbs and cut power lines. We’ve now had an ice storm for the past three years – 2007 was the worst (it shut our city down for two solid weeks), last year we had one in February that lasted about a week, and now this year. It looks like it might not stick around very long though because we’re supposed to start warming back up on Thursday.

****

I Twittered about trying to locate our birth certificates yesterday. I went up to the bank to check our safety deposit box and I found all of the guys’ certificates, but mine wasn’t in there. I seem to have a problem with keeping track of my birth certificate, for some reason. I’ve already requested two copies.

However, the husband suggested I check one place at home and I did find it, so now our next step is to take our paperwork up to the post office and start the ball rolling on our passports.

Of course, that will have to wait until after this ice melts. And a day the boys get out of school early because the office is only accepting applications until 4:15 and that doesn’t give us a lot of time after school to drive across town.

****

I’m keeping a record of everything I eat. Not for dietary purposes but because my digestive problem has gotten out of control. Apparently, I’m eating gassy foods, which is not helping my problem.

I’m keeping this record for two reasons: 1. to pinpoint exactly what types of foods are giving me problems and 2. IF it gets to the point where I have to go to the doctor, it will expedite the process because they will ask me to keep a record anyway.

I’m also going to try Chamomile tea, something called Charcocaps (I love their little bloated cartoon characters, that’s me, exactly) and do a better job of taking Lactaid with my dairy intake.

I know some of you are shaking your heads and saying, GO TO A DOCTOR ALREADY, but I just can’t do that until I’ve exhausted all of my possibilities.

One – because I’m stubborn like that.

Two – because I’m honestly not sure if a doctor is what I need at this point (I’m getting older, my body is changing *ahem* and I just need to learn to roll with it).

Three – because I don’t want to spend an insane amount of money for them to tell me to do what I’m trying now

Four – because this way I can say I’ve already TRIED all of these options before they tell me to, therefore speeding up the process

Five – I’m not the sort of person who turns to a doctor before exhausting all of my personal options first.

I promise, if I feel like I’ve exhausted all of my possibilities, THEN I will go to a doctor. Until then … I’m gritting my teeth, handling the discomfort and trudging forward.

****

Speaking of health issues, my husband sent me a link to this article yesterday:

Obesity ‘Virus’ Spreads Like Common Cold, Scientists Say

Obesity can be “caught” as easily as a common cold from other people’s coughs, sneezes and dirty hands, scientists said Monday.

The condition has been linked to a highly-infectious virus which causes sniffles and sore throats.

Nikhil Dhurandhar, an associate professor at The Pennington Biomedical Research Center, in Baton Rouge, La., said the virus, known as AD-36, infects the lungs then whisks around the body, forcing fat cells to multiply and also causing sore throats.

“When this virus goes to fat tissue it replicates, making more copies of itself and in the process increases the number of new fat cells, which may explain why the fat tissue expands and why people get fat when they are infected with this virus,” Dhurandhar said.

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

I think this is just an excuse to classify obesity as a disease so people can once again not take responsibility for their personal choices.

This just STEAMS my broccoli.

Which is ANOTHER food I can’t eat because it gives me problems, thank you very much.

Yes, I’m cranky because I’m hungry and gassy. Humpf.

karen1

Life-condensed

At This Moment …

It’s 4:42 p.m.

I’m sitting here trying to ignore my grumbling stomach while trying to keep my eyes open. I’ve had to resort to pouring myself a cup of coffee, left over from this morning because it has been confirmed (by abstaining and then drinking it to see what would happen) that my body no longer likes Starbucks coffee.

WAAH!

So I’m now drinking a nasty cup of coffee so I can wake up and have enough energy to do both Turbo Jam AND walk tonight because I can’t shake that disgusting, bloated body in the dark window image out of my head.

I never got around to going grocery shopping today, but I did make a dent in my emails – albeit a small dent. In fact, I was chugging along and correcting some HTML code when *POOF*, the lights went out. It’s a good thing I had juuust saved my work before that happened or I would be busy patching a hole in the wall made from my head continually hitting it.

The power was out for about an hour, but it was the hour before I needed to go pick up the kids so I was frantically trying to reach my husband to ask him what I needed to do to open the garage door (you pull the rope Karen, no big deal – why is that so hard to remember??) so I could get my car out and pick up the kids.

Luckily, that wasn’t necessary and the power came back on just minutes before I needed to take off. Whew!

I sat around and read that entire hour because when you lose your electricity and you’re stuck at home you can only do two things (okay, three things, but the husband wasn’t around so we’ll knock that one off the list *winkwink*) – sleep or read by a window.

I read. And I was almost disappointed when the lights came back on.

The husband has band practice tonight and I don’t have to cook because it’s Friday night and it’s our “go git” night – a family tradition – so I’m savoring the utter freedom of simply sitting back and waiting for the husband to come home, and drinking coffee the consistency of oil so we can go grab something to eat before he takes off and blows his eardrums for the evening. (I dread when he goes to band practice because when he comes back, he REEKS of cigarette smoke because virtually everyone in the band smokes but him. Or so he says …. hmmm…

It was a semi-productive day today and I’m feeling pretty satisfied with myself. Considering I was completely unproductive the rest of the week, I’m not going to complain.

What are you doing tonight?

Life

When All is Said and Done …

You can’t MAKE your family do what you want them to do.

Oh sure, I could throw a hissy fit, I could be a (bigger) beeyotch than I already am, I could dig my heels in and make life miserable for my guys until they did what I wanted them to do.

But in the end, I would feel too guilty and wouldn’t enjoy my “victory.”

So, I admit defeat.

Uncle.

I give up.

We are not, repeat NOT, going to Disney World.

After I posted about my research, after clicking endless pages at mousesavers.com, after compiling (complicated) information for our proposed Disney vacation and THEN spending a few hours crunching numbers every which way, including sideways and with my tongue in my cheek for luck, to make them look even marginally better than the last set of numbers only to come up with an amount large enough to buy GD a decent (used) car, it all boiled down to this …

the husband said no.

Since we’re not going and we’re not spending the money, I don’t see why I can’t tell you the dollar amount that our trip would have cost IF we had gone – are you ready? Are you sitting down?

Stupid question, of course you’re sitting down, you’re reading this, right?

$6,500.

As in SIX THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED OH-MY-FREAKING-GOSH DOLLARS.

Okay granted, I ran our trip through Disney’s website. And that was probably the worse-case scenario, we probably could have gotten it cheaper through someone else …

but I’m betting it wouldn’t have been THAT much cheaper.

That dollar amount covered everything – the parks, the Park Hopper option, the dining plan (which is two snacks, lunch and a sit-down dinner), our flight, our hotel, and a rental car (because I think we would have preferred to drive to our destination as opposed to using the public transportation system simply because of the sheer volume of people using it at the same time slows everything down. The guidebook said that it might actually have saved us time if we had simply drove ourselves).

The husband actually paled when I told him the dollar amount. I believe his exact words were …

“Over my stone-cold-dead body.”

Okay, maybe not THOSE exact words, but pretty dang close.

*sigh* I’m not surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised. When the boys found out we weren’t going to Disney World, they actually sighed in relief.

WTF?!

At first, I was furious. Was I the only one who wanted to go to Disney World?

Well yes, actually, I was. None of my guys ever really wanted to go. They simply weren’t excited about chasing Mickey Mouse down so we could take that all-elusive picture. They weren’t looking forward to the attractions. They certainly weren’t excited about the rides. They simply did not want to go.

Period.

So why, I ask you, would I POSSIBLY spend $6,500 on a vacation that no one wanted to go on? WHY would I possibly want to blow that money on a mediocre vacation?

And when it comes right down to it, when I step back and am being totally honest with myself, spending that much money on one vacation sort of makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

That’s a lot of stinkin’ money, folks. We could use that money to buy new kitchen appliances. We could use that money to put in hardwood floors. We would use that money … heck, for THOUSANDS of other things besides a vacation that no one was excited to go on.

Now I know what you’re thinking – “But Karen, life is about making memories and having a good time with your family. Your boys are growing up and will soon have their own lives. They’ll be busy with jobs, college, girls, yadda yadda yadda …”

And you’d be right. WHICH is the reason I put on my best boo-boo face and talked the husband into a …

Wait for it ….

Are you waiting …?

Are you sitting down …?

Are you waiting for me to stop asking you stupid questions …?

A Caribbean Cruise!!

Pardon me while I scream! (This is off topic, but did you see “Get Smart?” Remember the part where he goes into that “sound proof” bubble to yell and scream his excitement over becoming an agent only the bubble is not sound proof and everyone hears him? Yeah, that would be me and the whole cruise thing).

I know what you’re thinking again – I’m a mind reader after all (not really, okay, maybe a little). “But Karen, won’t going on a cruise cost just as much as a Disney vacation?”

The short answer? NO!

The slightly longer answer? NO! It will actually cost us almost $1,500 $2,000 dollars LESS!

*SNAP*

Actually, the husband suggested it. And when he suggested it, the boys perked right up and acted excited! (Probably because there was the prospect of seeing hot girls in bikini’s but let’s not dwell on that image overly much, shall we? Ew).

So I knew, this was the better vacation destination for us. And it would be money well spent.

I spent the better part of last night and today crunching numbers. And if we can JUUUUST get American Airlines to cash in our frequent flyer miles (Oops, I meant Advantage points) so we could, in essence, get two free tickets, it’s a done deal.

In fact, when I had lunch with the husband today, he told me he already cleared the vacation time with his boss. Which shocked and excited me because normally getting him to put in for time off is like blasting a hole through concrete, so that right there tells me, the man is excited about going on a cruise!

We’re planning on taking a seven day cruise. And we’re looking either going to the Virgin Islands and/or Jamaica – it depends on what cruise ship we sail on.

I’m so excited to go on a cruise again (the husband and I went on a cruise for our tenth anniversary) that I’m shaking as I type this. I just hope it works out because nothing is “official” at this time but we’re seriously making plans.

And if I’m being honest with myself and with you, I’ll admit that going on a cruise does sound more fun, at least to me, than going to Disney World.

Wait …

Something just occurred to me …

A cruise means a lot of time spent in a bathing suit.

Someone kill me now.

Life

At the Moment …

I’m scrolling through the Disney.com website and crunching numbers and making note of the attractions I think we would be interested in.

The numbers: Wow. Granted, I ran through the program on the Disney site, which is most likely the most expensive of any other options open to us at this time, but at least it gives us the maximum amount we can expect to pay.

Which is still about $1,500 more than I was braced for. Wow. Though I would love to go, even more now that I’ve had a look at the attractions, I’m not sure if we can justify spending that much money. It just seems so … outrageous.

We went on the AAA website yesterday and requested a travel agent contact us. We went through AAA because we’re members and I read that they offer (small) discounts to their members. I plan on sort of pinning the agent to the wall when he/she calls (nicely, of course) and telling the agent, “look, we can get the whole enchilada through Disney for X number of dollars. Can you beat that?”

We’ll see what he/she says.

When we first threw out the idea of going to Disney World to the kids and they rolled their eyes, I confess, I was a little worried there wouldn’t be enough for teenagers to do, but after looking at the attractions, I don’t think that will be a problem. We’re not big roller coaster people (we all get motion sickness, except for the husband) so the rides weren’t really a consideration when I looked through the attractions. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find quite a few things in The Magic Kingdom that I think the boys would like to do. And I was equally surprised that there wasn’t as many things that appealed to us in the Animal Kingdom. In fact, I’m predicting that’s the park we spend the least amount of time in.

I think my favorite will be the Studios. I want to do everything that’s listed – it all sounds like so much fun and so up my alley. I’m sure we’ll be spending most of our time in either Epcot or the Studios.

IF we go. And that’s IF I can wrench the money from my husband’s fingers.

We’re planning on going in mid-June. Two reasons: It doesn’t sound like it’s QUITE as crowded as opposed to late June through August and that’s the only time the husband can justify taking off work. We are planning on staying six full days, not taking our travel days into consideration.

I’ve learned a thing or two about Disney vacations through this – I’ll have to share my tips and resources with you after (if?) we iron out the details. It’s quite overwhelming at first, but once you get the hang of things, it’s still overwhelming, though a more manageable overwhelming.

It’s now after two in the afternoon and I’m on my way to the grocery store to buy some hash browns for tonight’s breakfast (for dinner). After that I will be cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming the floors so the house looks nice for the husband when he gets home. This is his stressful time of year and he’s on edge and cranky. Having a clean house tends to calm him down a bit.

I’ve been so distracted with the Disney vacation that I’m a bit behind in my regular work, so, I will spend the rest of the afternoon tweaking some pages and making changes for the schools.

The boys start the 2nd semester tomorrow with fresh classes. GD does in fact have PE this quarter so hopefully, all of that walking will pay off. He’s also got Geometry, Chemistry and Shop. I have a feeling this semester is going to be a lot busier for him as opposed to last semester.

MK’s classes stay the same save for one – he’ll get rid of PE and have a health class instead. I’m REALLY glad PE is over for him, having PE in the spring is hell for him because of his allergies.

Life

Lost with Children

Do you ever feel like your dreams are trying to tell you something? Or are a precursor to something in your life?

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t put a lot of stock in dreams. In fact, dreams rank right up there with horoscopes for me – the “interpretations” of dreams and horoscopes are just a bunch of misguided hocus-pocus, mumbo-jumbo crap that exists to cast doubt on our faith and to distract us from the reality of our lives. That’s my personal belief and there is nothing anybody can say that will change my mind about that.

However …

It’s interesting to read these interpretations because it gives me a chance to step back, look at my life and make the necessary adjustments …

… because I’m all about making my imperfect life just a bit more tolerable for those around me.

Case in point:

I have three dreams that occur on a semi-regular basis.

1. My cheating husband. I used to have dreams about my husband cheating on me, and then openly flaunting it in front of me (even going so far as to invite the woman over for family functions where I would then go all Jerry Springer on her butt because hello!? I’m not the kind of woman who handles that sort of betrayal with grace) a lot when we were first married.

Those dreams died a quiet death over time only to reappear around our seventh year anniversary – the time period when we were having marital problems.

Of course, I understood the significance behind those dreams without having to research it – I was feeling insecure about our relationship and felt like my flaws would eventually chase him away.

I’ve since learned to trust him, and myself, and I haven’t had that dream for a long, long time.

2. My teeth crumbling in my mouth. I mean, I’m standing there, talking, and suddenly I’m having to cup my mouth because my teeth simply disintegrate and fall into the palm of my hand.

I often wake up frantically feeling to make sure my teeth are still intact because it’s one of those dreams that just FEEL so REAL. It’s a very disturbing dream. So disturbing, in fact, that I looked it up online.

One interpretation said: To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you.

That didn’t feel right. I’m in pretty good health and though there are aspects of my health that I wonder about at times, I’m not so worried about it that I’m freaking out or anything.

And though I am self-employed, I don’t see myself as a small business (though perhaps I should) therefore if I’m not a business, I’m not in jeopardy. (Hmm, I’ll have to analyze that one a bit more).

Then I ran across another interpretation about how I’m worried about losing my “looks” (*snort* as if I had looks) and growing older.

Ah. Now that one I could buy. I DO worry about growing older – getting wrinkles, body parts sagging, going gray. I never thought growing older would really bother me UNTIL I had to face the fact that the light at the end of my tunnel? Begins with a 5 and ends in a big, fat 0.

I haven’t had this dream in quite a while. Perhaps I’m finally starting to accept my age?

3. Being lost. This is the dream that I’ve had the most and am having now.

The latest one went something like this:

Me and the kids are in my car (and it’s actually my car – I drive a silver Vibe), and everything is fine. I have no idea where we’ve been, but the atmosphere in the car is relaxed – it’s a comfortable silence, we’re all distracted by our own thoughts. The radio is playing, but I have no idea what is playing – it’s just background noise.

We’re driving down this road and it’s familiar, yet, it’s not. I recognize some landmarks, but something is off. The scenery is … different somehow. And there are people everywhere. Not necessarily in cars, in fact, there are only a few cars on the road, but there are people on the side of the road just sort of … watching us. They aren’t being too creepy about it, but as we pass, they simply stop what they are doing and stare at us until we drive by and then they resume whatever it was they were doing.

I notice this strange behavior, but I don’t say anything to the boys about it. I don’t have to, they’ve already noticed it, too. But they don’t say anything about it either – we just sort of all exchange sideway glances or meet each others eyes in the mirror.

But I’m not panicking at this point. I just figure, whatever, let them look, I don’t care.

Once my attention shifts off of the people staring at us, I begin to notice that the road I’m on? Is not really familiar anymore. And the road has suddenly developed all sorts of hills and dips and it stretches out before us for as far as the eye can see.

My fingers tighten on the steering wheel and now I’m starting to feel nervous.

I glance to my left and I see a high school, not the high school GD goes to, but another high school in a different part of the city. And it’s the backside of the high school, not the front. I’m not freaking out too much at this point because I figure if I can see the backside of the school, then all I have to do is take a side road and I’ll be back on the side I am familiar with and can go home.

So, I pull off the road to the right, into this nondescript parking lot, and turn around. Suddenly, the road is packed and there are a ton of cars, just bumper to bumper. It takes me a very long time to merge back into traffic and head the other direction.

I now see the school on my right and I relax somewhat because now I’ll just backtrack and everything will be fine.

Only, it’s not. I keep an eye out for a side street to turn onto but I never see one. Now I’m past the high school and nothing looks familiar.

It’s like I’m lost, but I have the high school as my point of reference. I’m starting to panic. And the kids are starting to ask me questions, “Mom, where are we? What are you doing? Just turn here.” That sort of thing.

Feelings of frustration start bubbling up inside of me and I can feel an anxiety attack knocking on my subconscious. I wake up disoriented and bathed in cold sweat.

The dream wasn’t really disturbing, per se, but it was definitely creepy and left me feeling anxious and sad.

Curious, I looked up the dream interpretation for “lost” and this is what I found:

To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.

To dream that someone else is lost, represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.

Being lost in a travel context suggests a period of transition, and uncertainty about arriving successfully at your next destination.

Interesting. I think this interpretation applies to me on two levels:

— I definitely think I’ve lost my direction and have lost sight of my goals. I want something, but I’m too afraid to go after it. And I am definitely feeling insecure about it. I’ve made a decision to seriously pursue my writing career this year and I’m scared out of my mind. I’m scared for two reasons: 1. that I will fail and find out that I really suck at this writing gig thereby being disillusioned and left wondering “what now?” …

and 2. that I will disappoint my husband who has the utmost faith in my abilities and has convinced himself that if I could just sell one novel, I would make enough that he could retire from his job.

No pressure.

The rules and conditions have definitely changed. I’m heading into uncharted territory and I’m the sort of person who can handle anything – as long as I know what to expect. It’s the not knowing that scares the beejeebees out of me.

— The fact that I had the kids with me puzzles me. I think maybe I’ve reached a point in motherhood that I don’t really know where I stand or where to go from here. I mean, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to motherhood to begin with, but when the kids are little, you sort of know your role in their lives. But when they reach the teenage years, your role shifts and the rules change and guess what? There’s no one around to explain the new rules to you. And there are no obvious signs about how your role has changed or how you’re supposed to deal with those changes.

I’m just sort of aimlessly driving around looking for that road sign that will tell me where to go next. And the people standing around and staring? Could be the feeling I have that my decisions are being watched, analyzed and judged. After all, how I treat them now will ultimately affect how they interact with people in the future – their co-workers, their friends, their romantic interests.

No pressure.

Wow, sorry this is so long, but this dream sort of freaked me out. It helps to write it out and think about it in the light of reality.

The bottom line is, I’m feeling lost. I keep backtracking and second guessing myself and I’m desperately trying to find something familiar.

I think it might be time to swallow my pride and take out a map.

karen1