Author: Karen

I’m answering Simple Mom’s reflection questions over at (In)Courage today because it’s waaaay easier than trying to sum up my year on my own.

I’m lazy like that. 🙂

*Thanks to Jen at Momma Blogs A Lot for the head’s up.

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1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

I’d have to say our cruise to the Western Caribbean. This was me and Kevin’s second cruise, the boys’ first. We booked the boys their own cabin so they were free to do their own thing on the boat and it was well worth the extra money. We had a blast.

We’re on a mission to top our family vacations every year. I wonder what we’ll do this year?

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Probably Kevin losing his job. Well, he didn’t lose it, per se, the company had to liquidate because they couldn’t obtain funding (none of the banks would loan them money – instead of using that wonderful stimulus money to help stimulate the economy, they held onto it and bought interests in flailing banks thereby growing their profit margins. Yeah, don’t get me started).

I think this might be a blessing in disguise though. Kevin now has the opportunity to try something new and different, which he’s been wanting to do for quite some time, and it also gives me an opportunity to find a job outside the home (I currently work from home, but business has been slow).

We refuse to look at this as a setback, but rather as an opportunity.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Jazz’s first high school band experience. I don’t know if it’s my inner musical self struggling to break free or what, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole band thing in September and October.

I’m a die-hard band mom now and I’m really looking forward to the next three years of band competitions.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Me. For some reason, that I can’t really explain, I was my own worst enemy this year. I just couldn’t seem to summon up the motivation required to GET ANYTHING DONE this year and that frustrates and angers me more than I can say.

I think I’ve been a little depressed this year. I’ve fallen into a rut and it’s time to shake things up a bit. And the fact that I’ve allowed myself to fall into this funk really ticks me off because if there is one thing I can’t stomach, it’s self-imposed weakness.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.

Growth. Stagnant. Depressing.

(Yes. I realize that sounds contradicting but, well, there you go).

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Unproductive. Self-serving. Frustrating.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).

Challenging. Stressful. Frustrating.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

According to how I rated the books I read in 2009, it looks like Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards and The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger were my favorites.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Definitely my boys. The older they get, the more they “get” me. And the more they “get” me, the more relaxed I am with them. Our relationship these past years has definitely been rocky, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I.E. the end of the teenage years.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Sadly, none. I can honestly say that I don’t feel like I challenged myself too much this past year. I’ve been complacent, lackluster, and downright lazy.

I’m more determined than ever to make changes in my life this year.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I grow emotionally nearly every day. I’m constantly challenging aspects of my personality and trying to BE a better person. I’m working on it.

I can honestly say that I believe I’m a much better person than I have ever been. I’m still pretty opinionated, egotistical and judgmental, but I’m learning that life? Is not always black and white, no matter how much I try and tell myself that.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

I think I’ve grown by leaps and bounds spiritually this year. I worked up the courage to post articles from the ministry that we follow, the Truth or Tradition ministry. This ministry works hard to teach people what the Bible says and how that often directly contradicts what “tradition” dictates.

I think it’s opened me up spiritually and I feel closer, and more comfortable, with God.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I’m not sure how to interpret this question. I’ve pretty much been the same size, physically, for a number of years now. I think I have finally reached a point in my life that I’m comfortable with my physical appearance.

In fact, I plan on writing an entire post about exercising and finding that “comfort” zone.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I’ve always been pretty tight with my immediate family. Kevin and I are stronger than ever and I’ve mentioned that I feel like I’ve grown closer to my boys.

Not so with my extended family. I feel our relationships have been grown apart and I think some of that stems from hurtful feelings and loss of respect.

I wish I could go into detail, but we’ll just have to leave it at that.

I will say, though, that I regret some things, but that overall, I think I’ve accepted that that’s just the way it is, I guess.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

I’m not a homemaker. Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom and I maintain websites from my home, I do not enjoy staying home. It’s lonely. I’m lonely. I’ve never aspired to be a SAHM and in some ways, I resent it. Though I’m very, very grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to stay home and watch the boys grow and have had a direct hand in shaping their personalities, there is still a part of me that misses not aggressively pursuing a career.

As a result of feeling this way, I have not been a very good homemaker. In fact, it’s safe to say, I downright stink at it. I’ve taken advantage of my husband and my feelings of resentment have colored my parenting skills at times.

I had the chance to be a really good homemaker, but I blew it. And I can quite honestly say, I don’t enjoy keeping house and have virtually no interest in making our home physically better. I’m content to just be comfortable and “make due.”

This is an area I definitely need to work on.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

With that said, I care about our home and want it to look nice. Our home is over 30 years old and it’s time to update and improve some areas. Kevin and I have sat down and made a list of things we’d like to improve around the house this year beginning with floors and kitchen.

I think the most challenging part of this venture is our different tastes. Kevin and I rarely agree on design styles and as a result, I tend to just give in because it’s easier. In some ways, I resent that, I think. Which may also account for my lousy homemaker skills.

It’ll be interesting to see how we handle these home improvements this year.

Correction: It’ll be interesting to see how I handle the home improvements this year.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Absolutely, positively, no doubt about it, the Internet. My blog and just recently, Twitter. I have to get control of this area of my life. It’s gotten out of control and in some ways, has really stunted my life in many areas.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Generally speaking, I’m a multi-tasker. So even though I’ve been on Twitter an INSANE amount of time, and have been paying an INSANE amount of attention to my blog, I have gotten other work done. I think better when I have several things going at once. But I definitely need to control my distractions a little (A LOT) better.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

That I need to keep my big mouth shut. Just because it’s on my mind, just because I want to say it, just because I CAN say it, doesn’t necessarily mean I SHOULD say it.

I’m DONE putting my foot in my mouth. I have made a deal with myself, I will think before I blurt and/or simply say nothing at all.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.

Thank God the nightmare is over. (This was Kevin’s statement when I asked him to sum up his year).

Thank God for my family. (Is my summary).

Ugh.

What day is it?

Are the holidays over yet?

Is this real life? (That’s a “David After Dentist” reference, right thar).

I feel like I’ve just come down from a seven day high.

We’ve been busy. Probably not as busy as most of you all, but for us, we’ve been busy. (Which is not really saying a whole lot given the fact that we’re homebodies and rarely step out of our house so you know, even going to the mailbox is a BIG DEAL in my house).

The boys have either had cousins staying the night, or they’ve been over at their cousins’ houses, or we’ve been having belated holiday parties or playing games with sisters (in-law).

Where do I even begin.

Wednesday, I picked the boys up from their cousins’ house early so we could rush home and they could get cleaned up before we were due to arrive at my parent’s house at 1:00. Though technically, my (ex) brother-in-law could have brought them over, I just couldn’t accept that.

Unwashed teenage boys are gross. Let’s be honest.

So, we came home, they got cleaned up and we went over to my folks.

(Sorry for the blurriness – I didn’t realize I had the camera on the wrong F-stop – Grr. More on that in a minute).

We ate.

(That’s my dad – say “Hi” everyone.)

And caught up on news.

(That’s my mom – hi mom! She is showing us her “hurry up and take the picture so I can eat” smile).

The kids clowned around.

(See?! Wrong F-stop! GRR!)

I took pictures of food.

(*Homer Simpson voice* Mmmm, deviled eggs).

And we settled in to open grandparent gifts and gag gifts.

(It looks like mom is lecturing us here, but I what I think is really going on is she’s slipped into a sugar coma).

My boys got money because they dropped the ball and didn’t give grandma a wish list (oops!). But, in my mom’s usual awesome way, she didn’t JUST give them money, she gave them money in a puzzle box that they had to solve before they could get their money out.

(And you only THOUGHT my mom was cool! Humpf!)

The boys REALLY thought that was cool, especially Jazz, because he’s just like his dad when it comes to puzzles – he loves them.

But wait. Our gifts from my parents also came in puzzle boxes in the form of gift cards and I won’t mention any names, but someone had to ask Jazz to help him/her figure it out so he/she could get to her, ER, HIS/HER gift card.

Ahem (Why yes, I AM that stupid).

And let me just say? These puzzle boxes? Are totally going into the in-laws’ gag gift goody bag next year. Heh.

(Dad was the videographer).

I just sat there and looked fat. (It’s the sweater I’m wearing – I SWEAR!)

This photo doesn’t really go with the rest of my story, I just liked M’s constipation face. Or maybe he’s confused. Or maybe both?

The gag gifts were fun. But you know, gag gifts are always fun, so I’m stating the obvious here.

A. ended up with my gag gift – a travel Scrabble. I KNOW! How freaking cool, right? And Dude ended up with M’s gag gift – wait for it ……. NUN CHUCKS! In the actual shape of NUNS!! HAHAHAHAHA!

M is totally our go-to gag gift guy, I’m telling ya. Dude really got a kick out of those NUN CHUCKS and is totally going to hang them from his car’s rear view mirror.

A real chick magnet, I’m sure. 🙂

Jazz got a voice alternating device and M got a Donkey Kong and Mario video key chain.

(M wanted to wear them as earrings, but I said, “Dude. That’s so not manly” and he resisted the urge. You’re welcome).

Side note: There were three wise men hanging from the ceiling. I didn’t learn, until Wednesday and after seeing these wise men my entire freaking life, that my dad cut them out of the skirting from the first trailer they, and I, for the first seven years of my life, lived in. My mom painted them with airplane model paint. I don’t know, I thought that was an interesting piece of family history that I didn’t know.

Come to think of it, I don’t know a lot ABOUT my family history, so I guess my not knowing about the origins of the wise men is all that impressive.

Where was I?

Again, another photo that doesn’t really have to do with anything, I just wanted to point out my mom’s pretty gray hair. And what the heck is hanging from her ceiling fan?!

Our get together was rather quiet, we were missing several members of out-of-town guests due to the snow storm that blew through Missouri Christmas day, but still, we had fun.

Family really is everything.

*****

I took several more pictures – you’ll likely see those on my photo blog. And speaking of which, one of the things that Kevin and I want to accomplish this year is to take a photography class together. We both love photography and it’s OBVIOUS I have no idea what I’m doing and I, for one, would like to learn how to take decent photos. So, I’m now on the hunt for an online photography class. It’ll probably be expensive, but we will likely only sign up one of us and then we can both work on the assignments and turn in our best effort for critique. It should be interesting – stick around. I’ll share my thoughts and tips from the class with you all so it’ll be like you’re ALL taking the class with us.

Mom loaded us up with goodies and I have only just eaten my way through the fudge. Good stuff but OY. I feel like a cow now. I will be getting back on the exercise wagon (or treadmill) very, very soon.

*****

Wednesday night, we went over to my sister-in-law’s house to play “Settlers of Catan.”

Oh. My. Gosh. We had fun. Each game took an hour and a half (we played two games) and Kevin won the first one and my brother-in-law won the second one. The second game was amazing – nearly the entire board was full and we were all neck-and-neck on points. It was really a lot of fun.

I had totally forgotten this, but we used to get together with them to play games waaaaaay back before we had children. Then the children came along and no one had the time, but now that the children are all grown, or nearly so, we have more time to do this sort of thing again. I’m really glad because I DIG board games, ya’ll.

*****

We stuck around the house for New Year’s Eve. We used the gift card my parents gave Kevin for his birthday (thanks again, guys!) to take the family out to eat at Ryan’s Steakhouse, then we came home and watched Terminator Salvation and The Patriot. We DID pause The Patriot long enough to yell HAPPY NEW YEAR at the stroke of midnight, but then we resumed the film and that was the extent of our celebration.

We’re exciting like that.

And here we are. It’s New Year’s Day and I’m fighting to stay awake (I’m running on five hours of sleep). There’s a fire in the fireplace (which by the way, I singed the carpet – our BRAND NEW CARPET – AARGH!), Kevin just finished taking the lights down outside and the boys are entertaining my nephews, who are over for the last time before winter break is over.

It’s a beautiful, but cold, sunny day and I’m sitting here trying to accept the fact that another year is over.

O.V.E.R.

It boggles the mind, doesn’t it.