Unity Does Not Mean Submitting to Group Think

Do you think we’re beyond uniting? Have we reached a time where it’s impossible to come together and work toward common goals?

Sadly, yes, I think we are beyond that point.

Why do I think this? Because we can’t even agree on fundamental things. For example: We can not agree on what a freedom and a right is. We can not agree on the fundamental values of life, let alone the details on how to ultimately achieve that goal.

And if unity means asking people who have different values or opinions from your own to sacrifice their convictions and beliefs, then no, I’m not interested in unity.

Unity, Mr. Biden, does not mean I succumb to your agenda. Unity does not mean accepting and abiding by your group think. That is not unity, that is being a dictator. And history has shown nothing good comes from that type of leadership.

So if unity is not possible, and I don’t believe it is, does this mean we will forever endure the violence, the hateful language, the name calling and the overall hate pit that our country has fallen into?

Not necessarily. I believe it’s possible to peacefully coexist but some things must be done first before that can happen.

And it won’t happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen because the party calling for unity is allegedly in charge. We should strive to peacefully coexist regardless of which party holds the executive (olive) branch.

Justin Haskins, from his opinion piece on The Hill, has this suggestion:

“Biden has repeatedly claimed, as he did during an address on Saturday, that he will “serve as a president who seeks not to divide, but unify, who doesn’t see red states or blue states, but only the United States.”

Forgive me for being a little skeptical. Biden has done little in his career to show that he is interested in bringing the country together or addressing the concerns of “red states.” In fact, during the 2020 campaign, he spent far more time trying to alleviate the worries of the socialist wing of his party than reaching out to conservatives and Americans in “flyover country,” who mostly rejected Biden on Election Day.

Biden didn’t try very hard to bring the country together during the presidential campaign. But let’s assume he sincerely wants to bring the country together. How can he go about doing that?

The only way Biden can restore a sense of national unity and alleviate the legitimate fears of conservatives, libertarians and others that a Biden-Harris administration will try to expand the power of the national government and limit individual rights is to finally put an end to the century-long strategy of attempting to force a single party’s will over a vast and diverse nation.

There is a solution, though, one that would garner support from people of all political persuasions. Instead of trying to pass gargantuan, partisan laws in Washington, D.C., that at least half the country will hate, Biden should pursue an agenda that grants to each state the ability to chart its own course. This could be done by only supporting legislation that block grants most federal funding to states, so that each can decide how best to craft policies that will fit the desires and needs of its residents.

So, for example, instead of trying to fix the health care system by imposing a “public option” and some expanded version of ObamaCare, Biden should back legislation that would allow states to create their own policies.

By giving states the ability to make their own policy decisions, everyone can win. Under such a system, not only would public policies more closely align with the desires of the entire electorate. It would also give the country an opportunity to see which policy ideas work and which fail. States could then learn from the mistakes and achievements of their neighbors and continuously improve public policy.”

I see where Mr. Haskins is coming from here – it’s a hybrid approach – leave it up to the federal government to iron out Bill of Rights and Constitution issues but give individual, area-specific policies to the states to figure out but it will never work. Biden, and the Democrat party are not interested in giving up power, they want it all. They want to dictate every aspect of our lives. They want to be able to tell you where to work, how much money you are allowed to make, how much money you are allowed to keep, what doctor you may, or may not, see, what car you can drive, and how much money you are required to pay them simply by “owning” your home. They want to have a thumb on every part of your life and if you’re okay with that, if you are willing to forfeit your individual freedoms to allow an entity to dictate your life and essentially “take care of you”, (though they really aren’t – they are controlling you through tax breaks, incentive programs, tax refunds that aren’t really refunds but a program that legally STEALS your money from you and then they grants you permission to get some of that back every year – but only if you didn’t strive to be successful or break any of their restrictive rules), well, I guess you have the freedom to live like that.

But that doesn’t mean everyone has that same desire. In fact, there is a large part of the population, pretty much half if the election results are any indication, that vehemently disagree with that premise. I’m one of those people. I work very hard for my money and I believe I should have the right to keep what I make. I want freedoms to CHOOSE from various options what is best for me and my family. I prefer to be left alone so that I can live my life. If I make a wrong choice, then I will deal with the consequences. I don’t need, nor want, an entity to “take care of me.” I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself, thank you very much.

And just because we disagree on how we want to live our lives, does mean my way, or your way, is better overall, it just means it’s better for ME as an individual. We are not a collective. We are individuals and a one size does not fit all solutions, which is what the Democrats strive to achieve every time they are in office, is not effective, is repulsive, dangerous and quite frankly, insulting.

I have a brain, I am not afraid to use it. I do not need an entity to guide me through life. I will make my own choices and I will learn from failures and I will celebrate my successes. If I choose to share my hard-earned successes with those less fortunate, then I will do so, but it’s wrong to MAKE me re-distribute what I’ve worked very hard for to someone who has chosen not to try as hard. It’s unfair and wrong. This does not mean I’m not willing to give to charities and help people, far from it, I just believe in hand ups, not hand outs. I believe consistently giving people hand outs is demoralizing and insulting, not to mention, it promotes dependency. How can someone take pride in their life if they are never given an opportunity to succeed on his/her own?

From the article Unifying Our Country on Psychology Today:

“What is constantly being demonstrated is that it is much easier to divide than it is to unite. It is possible, however, to unite our country through the systematic implementation of positive interdependence. Interdependence exists when two or more people (or entities) depend on each other so that their outcomes and fate are correlated. Morton Deutsch, in the late 1940s, noted that there are two types of interdependence, positive and negative. Positive interdependence is the perception that a person depends on others in a way so that he or she cannot succeed unless the other persons do and vice versa. Negative interdependence is the opposite; if a person succeeds, all others fail. In order for a democracy to function, citizens must perceive positive interdependence among all citizens. Societal members have to know that they “sink or swim together.”

Today, many Americans seem to have lost the sense of positive interdependence among citizens. Many of our politicians are more concerned about dividing citizens and creating animosity among them than uniting them. In order to unify our country, widespread positive interdependence must be reestablished and reemphasized. There are a number of ways to structure positive interdependence among citizens of our country.”

The author suggests the following things:

  1. Unite the country by establishing compelling goals that all members of our society willingly commit themselves to achieve. Positive goal interdependence exists when citizens commit themselves to mutual goals that are compelling enough to ensure that all citizens will work together to achieve them.
  2. The country may be united through establishing a national identity as an “American” that binds all citizens together.  An identity is a consistent set of attitudes that defines “who you are.”  Identity interdependence may be created by establishing a mutual identity through group symbols such as a pledge of allegiance, flag, or national anthem.
  3. Resource interdependence exists when citizens realize that in order to achieve their goals they must depend on the resources of others. Building a national economy, ensuring all citizens have the ability to communicate with each other, traveling from one part of the country to another are all examples of goals that require the resources and contributions of many citizens to achieve them.
  4. Citizens may be united through perceiving that they all receive the same rewards and benefits when national goals are achieved (i.e., reward interdependence).” (example: celebrating national holidays, receiving stimulus checks during a pandemic, tax cuts. We all benefit from a common goal – my words).

You can read the article for the rest of the points.

“In summary, if leaders and citizens wish to unite the citizens of our country, they must establish competing joint goals, a mutual identity, awareness of dependence on each other’s resources, awareness that one is rewarded only when all are rewarded, divisions of labor involving all citizens, giving citizens complementary roles, and encouraging all citizens to participate in the processes of democracy. It is through ensuring such positive interdependence exists that citizens can become aware of their unity.”

Again, lofty goals. And when those circumstances occur, I think it has the potential of uniting people but I think in order for these things to occur, the leaders in charge have to want it to happen – I don’t believe most of our leaders are interested in unity. They are more concerned with dividing us because if we are divided, then they have a platform in which to swoop in and “save” us. It is not in their best interest to unite us – chaos and fear leads to control, which is the ultimate goal of many politicians.

Be honest.

So where does that leave us?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, and again, and again – I believe it all starts with communication and adjusting how we use language. There is no “us” or “them” or “those people.” That automatically puts us in different corners. That implies we are starting out as divided and many times people will not be open to listen to anything outside their opinions or beliefs. We need to start saying “us, “we”, “Americans”, “humans”. What is the purpose of bringing up color? Or sexual preference? Or race? When we label people and put them in a box they are automatically ostracized. We immediately feel superior to “those people.”

We have to accept the fact that the media is all about agendas and further dividing us. They epitomize groupthink. Don’t believe me?

It’s the same message, over and over and over again. And not just in print, but on news stations. There is very little independent thought. They all regurgitate one another – groupthink. We are repeating this same message because we want to brainwash you into thinking this is the ONLY way to feel about something.

And sadly, it works on a large portion of the people. Because if you read/watch people who feel differently than you, they nearly always spout off “these talking points.” And that’s it. If you dare to ask questions or ask for examples, it’s like groupthink people’s brains short circuit and they call on emotion and anger to call you names or do anything really to distract you from the fact they don’t really know what they’re talking about – they only know what they’ve been told. Nine times out of ten, they don’t even know why they believe what they believe.

If we ever hope to unite as a country, outside a catastrophic event like 911 or this overblown pandemic (because let’s face it, when the pandemic first started and we didn’t know what it was, we all united for a brief moment), people will have to learn to communicate with one another more effectively. Which means, LISTEN. Practice EMPTAHY for one another. It’s not all about you. It’s not all about me. We all have individual needs and desires, RESPECT that difference. Be WILLING to listen to possible solutions and then COMPROMISE on a mutual solution.

Again. It’s not my way or the highway.

And our officials in charge HAVE to, HAVE TO, call for an end to the violence. It’s NOT OKAY to attack someone in the street because he/she believes differently than you. It’ NOT OKAY to paint a group of people as racists when there is very little evidence to back up that claim. Officials HAVE to start condemning these actions and show “their” people that their behavior is not acceptable. If Biden is truly interested in uniting us, then he has to recognize that BLM’s activities are wrong and not acceptable. By NOT condemning their actions, it only serves to embolden them to push their violence just that much more.

The bottom line – IT’S OKAY TO HAVE DIFFERING OPINIONS. Just because I think a certain way, you think a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s the ONLY way to think or tackle a problem. It’s NEVER okay to belittle, or attack, either physically or verbally, someone else for his/her opinion. Have the maturity to stop, listen and learn. I’m betting the person who has a different opinion than you presents an aspect of the topic that you may have never taken into consideration before. And there is always more than one way to tackle any problem or issue – THAT, my friends, is DIVERSITY – Different opinions and different approaches to the same problem.

If you made it to the end of this post and you know you think/feel differently than I do, congratulations. You have taken the first step to unifying this nation – you dared to listen to a differing opinion without losing your temper or becoming violet.

Who knows who will really win this election, but if the new president is truly interested in uniting people, then it’s time to start making people accountable for their behavior.

By the way, I stumbled on an interesting website, it’s called Unify America. And you can actually get paired up with someone who thinks differently than you do and talk to them as a human being and see if you can agree to disagree. I think it’s an excellent tool to not only practice interacting with someone who thinks/feels differently than you do, but also serves to show others that it CAN be done. Check it out. (Not sponsored).