My Teeth Freaking HURT and Where Oh Where is Myrtle?

My teeth hurt.

They’ve been hurting for about a month now. I haven’t broken or chipped anything. I know this because I went to my dentist two weeks ago and he looked around, tapped a few teeth, took an x-ray and all I got was an “hmm … there might be a tiny dark spot here,” (pointing to a back molar).

He “guessed” it might be an abscessed tooth, prescribed an antibiotic and sent me on my way.

And here I sit, still in pain.

Luckily, the pain comes and goes. And since I’m still not eating all that much solid food (I promise, I’ll vlog about that soon), my teeth don’t hurt.

Until I eat something and then, YEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW, MAMA.

It’s weird, but the pain is more of an ache. Like a deep, in-in-my-gums ache. Like more-in-my-jaw ache. So I’m guessing my dentist is right, I probably DO have an abscessed tooth and I’m betting the antibiotic that he prescribed is not strong enough to knock this stupid infection out, which is why I’m still in pain. It seems like I’ve taken this type of antibiotic before and my body’s response?

I LAUGH at your pathetic antibiotic. HAHAHAHAHAHA


My dentist made an appointment for me with an endodontist, (someone who works on tooth roots and gum issues), but when I told the girls I work with who I was going to see, they promptly told me horror stories and scared me so bad that I canceled my appointment and am now on the hunt for a new endodontist. (And lest you think I’m a scaredy cat – one of the girls I work had two, TWO, root canals by this doctor and both of them “didn’t take” and she ended up having to go to ANOTHER endodontist and having BOTH TEETH done AGAIN. Tell me that doesn’t scare you to death … having to go through TWO root canals TWICE!!! Um. No thank you).

I know who I’m going to, I just need to make an appointment. I’ve been putting it off because … well … I don’t really know why I’ve been putting it off. Probably because we don’t have dental insurance and OH MY GAWH, PEOPLE, NO DENTAL INSURANCE AND I’LL LIKELY NEED A ROOT CANAL.

Pass the smelling salts, please.

But contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete idiot and I know putting it off will just make it worse, so yes mom, I’ll make an appointment tomorrow. *smile*

And speaking of teeth – Jazz went to the orthodontist today … he has to go back July 10th to have some sort of impression made (I’m assuming for his permanent retainer for his bottom teeth) and then back again July 26th TO HAVE HIS BRACES REMOVED! YEE-FREAKIN-HAW, YA’LL! He was supposed to only have them on for two years, but it’s now been two years and EIGHT months so it’s about past time to have these things removed. PLUS. He’ll have them off just in time for his senior year so SCORE!

Men. It’s now time for you to stop reading and go do something … manly. I’m thinking your lawn needs to be mowed, or maybe your oil needs to be changed, or HEY LOOK! Sports! Because you’re not going to be interested in this next part, I assure you.

Ladies? I’m in full-blown perimenopausal mode.

I know, right?? How do I know this?

Because I have a freaking hot flash every 20 minutes!! Because I haven’t had a period in over two months now!! Because … because … well, that’s pretty much it. Did I mention I haven’t had a period in over two months now?!? I mean, I’ve been irregular for about a year now, and by irregular, I mean I’d skip a month, then have a period every two weeks, skip another month, then hemorrhage the next month … you get the idea.

But I’ve never skipped more than two months in a row before.

I went to my OB/GYN a few months ago, (I TOLD YOU TO STOP READING, GUYS. Don’t blame me if you start cringing, I did warn you), for, erhm, personal female reasons, and my doctor was all concerned and “here, you need to take this card and keep track of your periods for me. Oh. And I also want to see you back in July. Oh. And I want you to have a breast exam.”

Because I’m 46 years old and have never had a breast exam.

I KNOW, RIGHT????? I suck. But good gravy, I’m putting that off for as long as humanly possible because I can’t stand to have my hair cut, let alone some strange person man-handling my ladies. (And yes, you can cuss me out and call me an idiot, but I’m stubborn and never do things when I’m supposed to – just ask anyone I know. It’ll happen … eventually. Calm down).

But here’s the thing. I haven’t had a period since I saw my OB/GYN back in April so when (If. I’m pretty sure I’m going to cancel my appointment because, whatever, I don’t need to go back. I’ll go back for my annual unless something strange happens) I see him again, he’s totally going to think I was just too lazy to keep track – this will be AFTER he lectures me for 1. not keeping my July appointment and 2. not having a breast exam.

I’m like the world’s WORST patient, ya’ll.

Anyway … these hot flashes are getting out of control. And they are freaking embarrassing!!!! And they always happen at the worst possible moments!!!!

Something had to be done.

So I started talking to one of my co-workers who has already been there done that and she suggested flaxseed. Hmm. Never heard of it, but okay, I’ll try it. Because if I can find something natural that works as opposed to taking a drug, I’m going that route.

I went to the health food store and in the process of trying to find flaxseed, (I had to break down and ask this one guy who worked there and when I asked him where to find flaxseed and he said, “What do you need it for?” and I said, “I’d rather not say .. it’s a woman thing,”), I found something else I thought I’d try instead.

It’s called, “AM/PM Perimenopause Formula.”

I know. How original. Here’s what it looks like:

I have to say, it seems to be working pretty good. I take one pill in the morning and one at night. The one at night seems to work better for me. It knocks me out cold and I don’t wake up hot and sweaty. (Well. I usually wake up at 5:00 a.m. kicking the covers off, but I used to wake up every two hours kicking the covers off, so we’re making progress). And I don’t feel like I’m a walking flame when I’m at work.

These hot flashes, guys. They’re weird. My skin is cool to the touch, but it’s like someone lit a flame inside my body and the warmth starts in my legs, travels up my body and before long, my cheeks and ears are bright red, sweat breaks out on my upper lip and I’m scrambling to find something sturdy enough to fan myself with. It’s really a bizarre feeling.

Anyway. This herbal stuff isn’t stopping the hot flashes completely but it has certainly cut them WAY down and I’m cool (ha!) with that.

So between my teeth hurting, my hot flashes and my emotions playing a mean game of see-saw, I’m a hot (ha!) mess.

(P.S. – Wondering who Myrtle is? She’s what I call my monthly visitor, who hasn’t been visiting lately. I told you to stop reading, guys!