Write From Karen

One guess who likes it better this way …

… and it’s not me.

The moment of truth has arrived – will I sink, or will I swim?

If we could all ignore the glistening water and thoughts of warmer temperatures and balmy breezes for a moment …

First of all … we got an email this week from the hospital: Our clinic was named in the top 100 in the country for our specialty. (How’s that for vague?)

And it’s ALL because I’m NOW working there. That’s right. They rock because of ME.

And yes. I actually said that to my boss.

Luckily, she has a sense of humor.

Anyway, I’m proud to work where I work – we not only help people – we’re GOOD at helping people and now the whole healthcare industry knows it.

*snap* We. Kick. Ass. Ya’ll.

And this week nearly kicked my ass. We were so busy Thursday that I was literally running through the clinic to get one of our doctors on the line with a doctor at the main hospital all so I could help a patient I felt sorry for because she hadn’t eaten all day due to reasons I can’t go into here. (How’s that for vague? It’s maddening, I know).

They’re sending me to Branson this coming Friday.

By myself.

Well. Not by MYSELF, but I will be working the receptionist/scheduling area by myself.

*GULP*

I’ll be setting up the laptops in the exam rooms for the doctor/staff. Then I will be making sure the patients have everything they need signed, taking their picture for their chart, collecting co-pays and when they have been seen, I will be checking them out of the clinic by making sure they are scheduled for any tests the doctor wants and any follow up visits.

It’s going to be challenging. But I’m up to the task, I think. This will be my first time flying solo though and I’m a bit nervous. The doctor I will be helping is one I haven’t worked with that much, but I ADORE his nurse and I’m so glad she will be there.

I had my 90-day review the other day (I’ve actually been there four months now. FOUR MONTHS. Can you believe it?!?)

No raise, but I can keep my job.

That’s good news.

I’m thinking seriously of utilizing the employee discount and joining the hospital fitness center. I’d go in at 5:00, work out for an hour, go home, get cleaned up and then go to work. It sounds insane, but I actually did that for two years straight back when I was working at Wal-Mart. I need to do something – my job is mentally challenging, not physically challenging, and I sit all day long.

My hips are expanding. This is not acceptable.

I’m DIGGIN’ the tiffany shade.

Ever since I worked at Wendys, way back when (like early/mid-80′s), and around all of those old, funky tiffany lamps that used to hang above the tables in the Wendys’ dining rooms, I’ve had a “thing” for tiffany lamps.

They’re cheesy, but in a pretty, different way.

At least, I think so.

By several patients.

The day did not start out very nice.

And speaking of nice, I was trying to be too nice and a patient took advantage of that. I almost got myself into trouble because of my niceness. I’m just going to have to put my foot down and be more firm – especially when I KNOW I’m right. (I wasn’t sure if I was in the right today – turns out, I was. Lesson learned – have more faith in myself and my abilities).

Kevin left me a voicemail at work today.

“We’re going to a movie at 7:00 tonight.”

We never go to movies.

I’m way too cheap to pay the admission – I’ll just wait for the DVD to come out, thank you very much.

But it was a documentary about Ayn Rand, the author of “Atlas Shrugged.” Which I still need to read, by the way.

It was very interesting, and uncanny – the woman was definitely way before her time. It’s amazing how much she predicted is coming true now. At the risk of sounding all conspiracy theory on you guys – our government IS too big. And our government IS NOT acting in our best interest. If you think they are, then you’re naive.

That’s right, I said it.

It’s about the individual, NOT society. And it’s OKAY to live for yourself and make your life better. We do not exist to support one another, we exist to support ourselves. We may CHOOSE to help society – and many do, hence the outpouring of charitable contributions in this country, but we should never be MADE to give up something we have worked hard to achieve for ourselves and for our families.

Interesting, interesting stuff. I’m looking forward to reading “Atlas Shrugged.”

I have so many more thoughts on the documentary, but it’s been a long day; I’m tired, I’m fighting a killer headache and I haven’t even eaten dinner yet. (Actually. I think I’ll just skip it – it’s so late now).

Here’s a little something to make you think … God knows, we need more thinkers in this country. We have gotten WAY too complacent, people.

It doesn’t matter that he’s a 19-year old man, he’s still my baby driving on icy roads for the first time.

Last Tuesday, (was it last Tuesday? The days just blur together anymore), we woke up to icy roads. Actually. I didn’t even know they were icy until I got into my car and started driving … it was black ice. And it had tricked a lot of people that morning. The radio broadcast was full of accidents and the city went on emergency alert – which loosely translates to: only call the police if someone is bleeding to death or has lost a limb, otherwise, exchange insurance information and say “oops.”

I was nervous. I knew that Kevin would expect Dude to go to the office and … I wasn’t sure … if he should.

“Why don’t you just tell Dude to take the day off,” I said while twisting my fingers into fleshy corn rolls.

“Karen,” my ever-patient husband said, “he’s a 19-year old MAN. When are you going to stop babying him?”

Never.

I shrugged.

I couldn’t help it. He might “technically” be a 19-year old man, but he’s still my first born baby. I look at him and all I see is my 4 lb, 12 oz preemie. I shouldn’t, I know. But I do.

I went to work that day with my heart in my throat. He didn’t have far to drive and I KNEW that he needed to practice, after all, we can’t taxi him around every time there’s bad weather for the rest of his life … but UGH. The first time is a killer.

I worried about him all morning. Kevin did text me whenever he got to the office, so I did rest easy for a few hours. But then I started feeling queasy whenever it was time for him to pick Jazz up from school.

I don’t think he realizes how precious his cargo is whenever he’s driving.

It all worked out in the end, though I found out later that he DID slide through a stop sign near our house. But at least there wasn’t any on-coming traffic. I know I need to mentally toughen up about my boys – they’re growing up, as they SHOULD, and I just need to trust that God will take care of them whenever I’m not around.

But still. I’m DEEPLY thankful that this winter has been pretty mild … so far.

An early morning fog, so cold that it crystallizes the trees and transforms the world into something ethereal.

A hot cup of coffee in my favorite coffee mug.

A quiet morning.

Glimpsing the little boys in my men children.

My husband’s sleepy eyes.

Sweet-smelling lotions.

Sunny days.

5 o’clock.