I tried guys, I really did. I started out strong and about three days in, I just couldn’t summon the creative energy to keep up. Work has been BRUTAL. I’ve been working 45 (ish) hour weeks and I’m just brain dead when I get home. Then, on the weekends, all I want to do is watch mindless YouTube videos, read or nap. I can’t be bothered to write anything creatively. I can’t even be bothered to write anything for this blog.
I also have bouts where I feel woozy and it’s hard to focus on words as they start bending and become distorted and I’m afraid I’m going to have another Vertigo attack so I get off the computer and rest my eyes. (Also – to be fair, I stare at a computer all day at work, too, so there is a lot of eye fatigue going on).
So. I’m tired of stressing about it. NaNoWriMo is supposed to be fun and it wasn’t – at all. I don’t need the extra stress in my life right now so I’m officially calling it quits for NaNoWriMo this year.
I have some ideas for another project that I’m brewing in my brain but I’m done making empty promises. If anything comes from it, I’ll let you know, otherwise, if you don’t hear anything, it was yet another fail in my life.
You know, it’s funny, but I take GREAT pride in excelling in every other aspect of my life EXCEPT writing. Why is that? I know I’m scared of failing, maybe even scared of succeeding. Writing is so near and dear to my heart, like a child, that I can’t stand the thought of people criticizing it. Well, my creative writing, that is. The stuff I write on my blog is simply … me. Take it or leave it – I am who I am. But when it comes to creative writing – I freeze up. And I don’t really know why, truth be known.
And it frustrates me!
I don’t know if I’m making sense. I’m tired, as usual. It’s late, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open, let alone making sense of my thoughts right now. Suffice it to say, I’ve thrown in the NaNoWriMo towel and I’m moving on.
However, I hope YOU’RE doing well. And learning a lot about your own writing in the process. I think that’s one of the biggest NaNoWriMo wins, in my opinion, the fact that you learn and grow as a writer. Me? I’ve learned that I don’t do long projects. I get so bored with anything over 5000 words. I need to stick to short stories, I guess.
Anyway, good luck if you’re still in the game! I’m cheering you on from the sidelines!