Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept?
No and here’s why.
I think my resolutions have always been someone else’s resolutions. Not to say I haven’t wanted those things I’ve resolved to do but rather, they were goals that weren’t that important or realistic for my lifestyle.
Not to mention, I just get bored with trying after a while.
I’m lazy. I really am. And I’m terribly selfish with my time. I think that selfishness stems from the fact that I spend the majority of my time helping/serving others. I work in the medical field so my day comprises of being available to our patients and at my doctor’s beck and call.
I don’t feel like I truly have time for ME. Because given the choice, I WOULDN’T do this job – it goes against every grain of my body – but somehow, I’m good at it. And I’ve gotten to the point where I feel comfortable doing the job and I like my co-workers so I don’t see myself starting over any time soon.
Plus, I’m just too old to start over. I could, but I don’t think it would be a good thing, overall, to do that.
I think if alternate day fasting has taught me anything, (and yes, I’m still doing that), it’s that I need to do what works for ME. Granted, I don’t know what that is until I try different things but I need to stop and recognize when something is not working and try something else. And NOT beat myself up over failing.
Ultimately, I’m scared of failing. I’m scared of wasting precious time because again, I don’t have a lot of time TO waste. I think that’s my biggest hang up with writing – I’m scared to fail. But how can I succeed if I don’t fail?
So, though it’s good to have goals, I think it’s more important to have REALISTIC goals for YOU and YOUR life.
Was Jesus born in a stable? No, he wasn’t. He was placed in a manger, but what exactly does that mean?
It’s interesting, and sad, to me that our beliefs are so entrenched in tradition. What really happened? What does the Bible say? When you watch these two videos, I bet you’re surprised.
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.
Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity’s recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died.
Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.
Oh my words, dear readers, the premise of this book … THE PREMISE! This was a really interesting, disturbing and thought provoking read. At first, your sympathies lie with Verity – poor Verity. She was involved in an accident that left her basically a shell of a woman. She’s present, but she’s not. And though I understand Lowen’s situation and the temptation of taking the job of becoming one of her favorite author’s ghostwriter, I find myself disgusted with her for taking the job and for developing feelings for Jeremy, Verity’s husband.
So, I’m not a fan of Lowen’s at first.
But then Lowen finds Verity’s autobiography and now Verity is not who we all think she is.
Bit by bit, the reader learns more about Verity and the evil that resides inside this shallow, selfish, apathetic woman. Now, I’m cheering Lowen and Jeremy along because it’s clear that Verity is crazy and doesn’t deserve Jeremy.
I love how Hoover alternates between what is happening and Lowen’s gradual read through Verity’s autobiography. Though I wanted Lowen to read faster, I’m really glad Hoover resisted the temptation because the drawn out suspense was what really pulled me in.
I love that this was a suspenseful book without the usual suspense elements. Perhaps suspense is the wrong word, tension is a better word and the growing tension between all of the characters kept me immersed in the story. In the meantime, Lowen and Jeremy are trying to fight their attraction for each other but the reader is cheering them on.
There is a lot of creepy factor in this story, too. Is Verity faking it? Or is Lowen’s over-active imagination playing tricks on her?
The climax of the story is pretty great but what shoves it into five stars for me is the very ending where Lowen finds a letter and it throws her, and the reader, into utter disbelief and confusion; did it really happen that way, or didn’t it? Was it a writing exercise or did it really happen the way Verity portrays in her autobiography?
My theory is, it really happened and Verity wrote that letter as a way of further manipulating her gullible husband and as a last-ditch effort of trying to disguise the evil that seeped from every pore of Verity’s body.
The only thing I wasn’t a fan of was how the book opened and how Lowen and Jeremy met. I think beginning the book at the office would have been sufficient and I felt like Hoover’s opening felt out of place to the rest of the story and not necessary though it didn’t really put me off – just felt like a strange decision on Hoover’s part. Then again, maybe that opening had a deeper meaning and went completely over my head – the whole story was so full of unexpected surprises.
One last thing – I couldn’t figure out why my spellchecker didn’t put a red line under Verity’s name. I’ve never heard that word before and to my knowledge, it wasn’t a word. Oh, contraire readers. I looked it up – Verity means truth. Holy shit, I love this book even more because there wasn’t a truthful bone in Verity’s body – or was there?!
Highly recommend you read it. It’s a great spin on a twisted premise. It’s a story that stays with you long after you read it and makes you go HMMMMM….
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I finished my GoodReads challenge for 2019! I read 100 books! That is a personal best for me and I probably could have made it to 105 but I decided to give myself a break from reading for a few weeks before diving into next year’s challenge. I will try my best to write reviews on all the books I read next year. I’d still like to start a reading group, in fact, I started one way back when on GoodReads but never did anything with it, but it just seems like so much organizing … I’ve had a few peeps at work express interest so maybe I’ll do something with it at some point. Would this be something you would be interested in? Leave me a comment below!
Breathwork, really? I guess this is the newest “fad” to try and find inner peace.
I have a theory – people are constantly searching for peace, meaning of life, purpose. I feel like “restless souls”, or people who feel the need to constantly move, whether that’s in their daily lives or physically move locations, are simply searching for … something.
I think that “something” is different for everyone and maybe most people can’t define it, but it makes me sad. So when I see videos like this one, I can’t help but roll my eyes because to me, it’s simply another “fad” where people are trying to once again, SEARCH for the elusive SOMETHING.
I believe that “something” is spiritual, in essence. People who don’t believe in a higher being, or have faith in something outside of themselves, are generally unhappy with themselves, with their lives and dissatisfied by life in general.
This is simply my opinion coming from a Christian who likes to observe people and analyze motivations. For example, why are some people into tarot cards? Or Scientology? Or witchcraft? Or any other beliefs outside Christianity? To me, the essence of those beliefs are not any more strange to believe in than the “fate” or messages from cards that a person randomly flips over, or from aliens or from a super natural power than it is to believe in a kind, loving God who started all of this by creating humans to inhabit a world He specifically made for humans. I just don’t understand – if people are willing to put so much FAITH in these alternate beliefs, then why NOT believe in God?
To me, people who participate in alternative rituals or beliefs are almost making a conscious effort NOT to believe in Christianity. As if they are saying, “Nope, I’m not believing in Christianity because it’s an old and antiquated way to believe and the majority of people are Christians and I’m enlightened and different and there MUST be something else out there that I will work hard to try and find just so I can prove EVERYONE else wrong.’
I’m not saying this to insult anyone who is not a Christian, believe what you want, it’s called free will, but as an observer of life and looking at these various “fads” and “religions” from the outside, it truly baffles me that people put so much time and effort into something other than Christianity.
What’s the end goal here? If you’re looking for peace or the meaning of life, or the purpose of YOUR life, the Bible has those answers. Are the answers not good enough? Do they not satisfy a deeply embedded need? Is it not enough? Is it too simple? Do people think it can’t surely be this simplistic and reject it to pursue new and different?
I truly want to know.
Matt talks about “hallucinogenic’ effects of breathwork whenever he would participate. Could it be simply that you’re depriving your brain of oxygen and that’s why you’re feeling this way and it has nothing to do with any spiritual experience? And the fact that he admits to feeling emotional at the retreat, where his wife was present, and not having that feeling when he tried it at home by himself. Could you have had that emotional experience because you heard your wife cry out and empathized with her struggles because you love her and that’s what we do when we love someone? Perhaps it had nothing to do with a spiritual experience and more to do with the fact that you were forced to still your mind and body and be more aware of your surroundings, your thoughts and feelings.
I think breathwork is bogus, but I do appreciate, yet again, an attempt to MAKE people stop and disconnect with technology and appreciate stillness. I think anything that makes us do that is important, especially nowadays where it’s trendy to be “busy” and “connected” through all of these crazy social media outlets.
Don’t you find it ironic that we’re more “connected” than we’ve ever been in the history of man and yet so many people are lonely, sad and unhappy?
We are more connected to “each other through electronics” but more and more people are being persuaded to get away from God because it’s not “cool” to be a Christian and you must be crazy to believe in an invisible, all-knowing, and all-powerful creator.
You don’t think there is some correlation there? Because I do.
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.
Write From Karen 