TueSLAY

TueSLAY – January 19th

Can we NOT do this please? Let’s not start this nightmare of the next four years pretending, or portraying, Biden as a “god-like” entity like we did with Obama. Just as words can be manipulated, so can pictures and people are already too gullible as it is without making it seem like Biden is here to save us all.

*huge eye roll*

He is not. Actions speak louder than words. (I feel like that’s going to be my mantra for the next four years). The man, and his administration, want nothing more than to divide and conquer. They have no interest in bringing people together, they only want full and absolute power over you and your lives. That is all that interests them. And those that DARE to question, or reject, their agenda are racists, and every other label that is being slapped on naysayers.

 

I was pretty sick these past two weeks. A lot of headaches and body aches. To be fair, the headaches could have been the change in weather. Missouri has roller coaster weather, meaning, it’s 60 degrees one day and the next day it’s snowing and 25 degrees. That will often wreck havoc on people’s sinuses and it certainly does with mine. But I just COULDN’T shake the body aches and the fatigue … wow. It was pretty intense. I came home one day and went to bed at 6:30 PM. I woke up the next morning STILL tired. I think part of it is because I’m low on iron – I’ve always been anemic, and I DO feel better when I take iron supplements. I just never remember to take them.

Was it COVID? I don’t know, maybe. I wasn’t about to be tested though. I don’t want to add to the insanity and I felt pretty icky, but not bad enough to stay home. (And before any of you come for me *gasp* you went to work feeling like that? If people only went to work when they felt 100% no one would go to work. Besides, we were all wearing masks – we’re protected, remember?)  I don’t really get sick very often. In fact, I am rarely sick. Part of the reason is genetics, I come from a pretty healthy stock, and part of it is I’m simply not around that many people – I’m a loner and pretty happy about that, thank you very much. I don’t go out – well, no one really goes out right now, but under NORMAL circumstances, I don’t go out. I am around people at work, but honestly, not that many and always the same ones. Since my doctor is only doing Telemedicine right now, I’m not around a lot of patients, which I think helps. All I know is I’m glad to finally be feeling better. When, because it’s coming, it’s mandated that we get the COVID vaccine for work, I’d like to see if getting a COVID antibody test would be possible because if it’s proven that I had COVID and now have the antibodies, I don’t think I should have to get the vaccine.

Though I’m sure “science” will disagree with me. And we all know how accurate “science” has been in regards to COVID, right?

 

Please tell me this picture is fake.

 

 

Because seriously, if this is real? What the actual hell?!? We have officially lost our freakin’ minds and now the masks are just a cult. You can not tell me these children having to endure something so hideous and ridiculous are protected right now. And that’s assuming I was arguing FOR masks, which I am clearly not. I personally think masks were implemented because it gave the illusion that our wise and esteemed government officials (*cough*) were doing something and people were doing something to combat the threat of COVID. But let’s assume, for just one moment, that I WAS a mask proponent and thought wearing masks was the last line of defense against getting sick with any type of illness, how is this helpful to these children? HOW?!? I can’t seriously believe the teachers thought this was a good idea. I can’t seriously believe that the parents of these poor children were okay with this. If that had been my child I would have said HELL NO. Are you nuts? Surely this is fake?? Because if not, wow, I am seriously concerned for the human race. Even more so than I am now.

 

Wanna see my pet elephant?

Tell me he’s not cute. I actually posted this on my Instagram – yes, I’m still on Instagram. I’m embarrassed to admit that but come on, we all need pictures in our lives, right?? Anyway, I got this mousepad from Amazon and just looking at this cutie makes me happy. Also, this is part of my corner desk. The billboard shadow box picture thing, (I can’t remember the name of this right off the top of my head and I’m too  lazy to Google it), was a gift from the nurses to the MA’s last MA week and when I brought it home, it was sitting on the kitchen counter for weeks, because that’s what I do when I don’t know where to put something, I just keep it wherever I happened to put it down, and Kevin got tired of looking at it and I came home to this on my desk one day.

Isn’t that sweet??

Yes. I have a fan on my desk. I also have one in my office at work and on the desk I use when we’re in clinic as well because I can’t stand stale air and I need fans to give me the illusion that I’m not stuck at a desk all day.

And the box under the fan? That’s the box thingie I use whenever I record my podcast. Oh. You didn’t know I had a podcast? Really? Where have you been?? Don’t ask me technical questions, that’s Kevin’s territory. I just show up and talk.

That’s the easy part. I can do that part.

 

And speaking of podcasts … I’ve got a podcast recommendation for you. It’s called “Full Body Chills” and it’s exactly what it sounds like – a podcast of scary stories. I love everything about it. The stories are excellent, but I love the narrator and production set up. It makes me want to do something similar. I’d like to make a fiction podcast of maybe … romance stories? I think it would be super fun to have people submit their short stories and I could read them on a podcast.

There are only two seasons and it looks like they only do these podcasts around Halloween as I didn’t see any episodes for the rest of 2019 and 2020 months.

Anyway, check them out. Two thumbs up for me. Do you have any podcasts you would recommend? I’m in the market if you have any recommendations.

 

We’re thinking of buying some land. I KNOW! Kevin sprung that one on me a few nights ago and I thought he was joking at first. Nope. He was serious. I have no idea what we might put on the land – pretty sure he doesn’t want to build a house and I’m pretty sure our marriage wouldn’t survive building a house, but he wants land for someplace to go if things go south with the country. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but come on people, the way things have been going lately, who knows what it’s going to look like in the next six months. I can’t disagree with him. He thought maybe we could put an RV on the land but I sort of shot that idea down because RV’s do not weather well and the upkeep and maintenance on it would be a money suck, I think. Maybe a cabin?

Real estate is an investment so there’s that.

I don’t know. All I know is this is his latest obsession and I have a feeling we will be looking at land soon.

TueSLAY

TueSLAY – December 1st

 

 

I have a secret.

I’ve been keeping this secret for over two years now but now it’s time to confess. Are you ready? Don’t think less of me …

I wear false eyelashes. *GASP* I KNOW!

But hear me out. I wear falsies (every time I hear that word, I think of pasties and that’s VASTLY different and something I DON’T do) because now that I’m a *ahem* mature woman (I know – I can’t believe it either – because I certainly don’t act my age), and I’ve gone through the “change”, (yes, I’m really THAT old), my hair is thinning – every where. Not only on my head, but my leg hair (doesn’t THAT sound attractive) doesn’t grow as fast. Which, BONUS. But my arm hair has virtually all fallen out, (I used to have hairy arms – no more!), and the hair on my head is thinning, which I’m NOT a fan of (hence the reason I now take Biotin and have to clip my fingernails and toenails way more often – which is a con, in my book), but it also means my eyelashes have thinned out.

They were already short, thin and straight before, now they’re short, thin, straight and sparse. Yeah. Not a fan. Plus, I love the look of false eyelashes, so long and curly, they really frame the eyes and I’ve often been told my eyes are my best feature (they’re the color of poop, the cardboard colored poop, not the inky black poop that could indicate serious GI problems – can you tell I work in healthcare??) so it’s fun to add lashes and really make my eyes pop.

But I was scared to death when I started wearing them. I was convinced my co-workers would look at me strangely, seeing something different but not sure what was different but too polite to actually ask me. And they would have if I had chosen to wear the big spider legs long lashes but no, I choose to wear lashes that don’t “stick out” that far. (See what I did there?) I wear KISS brand “Shy” lashes as I find they give me just enough “oomph” to make my eyes pop but not enough to make people do a double-take when they look at me.

I use dark eyelash glue because I wear a lot of black eyeliner and I feel like it really blends in nicely with that. And I use a lot of glue because your girl has NO TIME to worry about wonky lashes during my work day and I want to make sure those suckers stay glued down. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert of putting them on, but I am definitely more confident and faster than I used to be putting them on.

I can make a pair of lashes last six days before they start looking ratchet and clumpy. I clean them have way through. I know that sounds gross, but I don’t have patience to spend 20 minutes on plucking the glue off each lash so by the end of the third day, I soak them down pretty good with mascara removal, I use this kind, and once they are good and wet, I grab hold of some glue with my fingers and tug it off. Sometimes it comes off all together and it’s so satisfying when that happens, but more often than not, it doesn’t and I end up stretching the band and I have to trim the ends because now it’s stretched so much it’s too long for my eyelid.

Though they look like they’re been worn a full week by Saturday, (I go makeup-less on Sundays to give my poor face a break), they’re really not that bad and I probably could make them stretch another week if I wanted to but again, I don’t want to take the chance of people looking at me and thinking, “what the hell is wrong with her face? Why does it look different today?” Especially since I wear glasses and I feel that is a neon sign that messages people TO LOOK AT MY EYES, WILL YA?

Anyway. I’ve gotten used to them and I like the way they look and I have pretty good luck with them keeping their curve and looking decent.

Until this past week. I’m in the middle of a package of lashes so I don’t think I got a bad batch, but the lashes I’ve worn this week have a lost their curl and now they just look like my normal lashes, only longer and more clumpy. Meaning, they stick straight out instead of curling nicely. It took me until today to figure out what likely happened: Thanksgiving happened. And I cooked, that’s what happened.

I never cook, just to be clear. But since we were forced to spend Thanksgiving away from our family, (well, we weren’t forced to spend Thanksgiving away from our family we CHOOSE to spend it away from our family because it was the responsible, adult thing to do since the nurse I work with and her entire family tested positive for COVID), I had to cook for my family. Kevin cooked chicken fajitas for lunch and I cooked spaghetti for dinner … do you see where I’m going with this? I cooked hamburger meat and noodles, which means lots and LOTS of steam. I’m pretty sure I steamed the curl right out of my lashes.

How annoying. And proof positive that cooking SUCKS. That will be my excuse the next time I need to cook for a get together. “Um, sorry. I can’t cook dinner – it will make my eyelashes droop.” I can just imagine Kevin’s face. HAHA!

 

So I won NaNoWriMo!! Woohoo! It’s been a hot minute since that happened. Let’s see … I’ve been with the hospital for nine + years now and I haven’t done NaNoWriMo since I started working there so … wow, ten years since I’ve participated. I did NaNoWriMo four or fives times in the early 2000’s but I think I’ve only won … two other times? Those times are not recorded on the NaNoWriMo website, which I’m bummed about, but I get it, it’s been nearly ten years after all. And the NaNo website has been overhauled since I last participated.

At any rate, I’m pretty proud of myself. I’m especially proud of myself because writing 50,000 words and working full time is no small feat. There is no way I could have done it with small children though so any young moms out there, whether you’re working outside the home or not, kudos to you for whatever word count you achieved.

I was a total NaNo Rebel. I know myself and my writing “style” and I knew there would be no way I would stick to one project. I have too much going on, too much on my mind, to just stick to one thing. Kevin and I have rather become political junkies and between that podcast and my own podcast (which I plan on getting back to now that NaNoWriMo is over), there’s just too much to think about and sort through. So, I took a hybrid approach this challenge. I counted all of my blog posts and my fiction, of course, toward my final count. However, I wrote nine pieces of fiction this month so I’m pretty happy with that. I was also able to keep track of the crazy election fraud process as well as COVID which I wrote about on the blog, too. I just have too much on my mind to stick to one project and honestly, I think it helps my creativity because I’m dumping my chaotic thoughts into this blog which frees up space to jump-start my creativity.

I’ve also been journaling in my bullet journal as well. I write my private thoughts in there, things I wouldn’t want to share with the Internet, and that has helped clear our even more space allowing my muse room to spread her wings.

I really enjoyed writing Maya, Dree and Jax’s pre-stories. I enjoyed getting to know them a bit better and to switch scenarios. It was also fun to write from a man’s perspective. I find myself wanting to put in “dude” a lot, as if guys really talk that way to each other, for the most part. I went a little overboard on the word count for Jax but … his story seemed to demand more. I wanted to show his relationship to Gabi and Bethany as I felt it would make the end even more impactful. I have no idea if I succeeded, but I’m pretty happy with it.

I almost bought a “Winner’s” t-shirt, but I decided against it. I’ve already spent so much money on the boys for Christmas that I felt it was a bit overboard to spend another $25 dollars on a t-shirt. I did buy the NaNoWriMo 2020 t-shirt, which I actually don’t like, but I wanted something to remind me of participating in NaNoWriMo.

Things I learned from this experience? A lot, actually. I’m beginning to think I’m not capable of writing a novel but rather, maybe I should focus more on a collection of short stories. I think it would be fun to somehow weave all of those short stories into a bigger story line or a theme. I know that quantity is not really an issue for me. For example, I used a lot of writing sprints on YouTube, which were HUGELY motivational for me and I hope these same YouTubers continue to do word sprints throughout the year, but when comparing my word count to those participating live at the time, I usually wrote way more than anyone else. My issue is, quality. Well, quality and direction. I write a lot but it doesn’t seem to go past a certain point. I get to that point and mark it done when it really isn’t. I don’t even know what I write could be classified as stories, but maybe more like scenes.

Maybe I should write a collection of scenes that somehow makes a story and/or a novel.

I’m also fascinated by the whole AuthorTube thing on YouTube. I’d like to become part of that community, maybe even participating in live streams, but I don’t know. I’m so much older than these kids and though I’m okay with putting my work online, who knows if I’m good enough to be accepted into a group. Does that make sense? All I know is that I’m very interested in the AuthorTube community and I wouldn’t mind giving that a go. Better yet, I think a hybrid approach of being part of the BookTube and AuthorTube community would suit me better since I’m an avid reader. My problem with the BookTube part of this is I read so fast and am itching to get to the next book I don’t have the patience to slow down and talk about the one I just read.

But … (this is what it’s like to be inside my head, ya’ll), I don’t see myself reading as many books in 2021 because I really want to keep this writing momentum going so … maybe participating in both BookTube and AuthorTube will motivate me to continue reading and writing.

Who knows.

Thought I would share a screenshot of my stats with you.

I pretty much stayed on task. I went three, sometimes four days in a row without writing a word, but then I caught up on the weekends and produced 6000/7000 words. Anyway, it’s over now and I plan on continuing to write. I hope YouTubers continue to host writing sprints because those were SUPER helpful and productive for me.

 

 

Telemedicine is killing me. Seriously. I can’t even tell you how stressful this year has been at work. And I don’t even work directly with COVID patients, I can’t imagine what kind of toll it’s taken on the poor saps assigned to work directly with COVID patients. But Telemedicine is it’s own special kind of hell. When it works and things are going smoothly, I love it. It really is efficient and it’s nice the patients don’t have to come into the office. But when it doesn’t …. good God, give me patience. It astounds me that in today’s society, with smartphones and all sort of cool gadgets that I thought people were used to by now, people do not know how to access his/her email from their phones. Or how to download an app. And I’ve never claimed to be patient, in fact, I would say I’m one of the most impatient people on planet Earth, but holy cow … I really should get an award for keeping my cool and not blowing my top and making a fool out of myself. I can’t tell you the number of times I have literally felt like walking out and a few times, I’ve gone to the restroom and thought, “what would happen if I just got my stuff and left?” I’ve thought so much of doing that that at times the thought becomes more and more possible, which scares me.

We’re still only seeing patients via Telemedicine. I think my doctor is doing it for us because with our nurse and her family coming down with COVID, I think he’s trying to protect us, his team. I get that, and I appreciate that, but I WISH we could go back to seeing patients in the clinic. I never realized, until COVID hit and we had to go to Telemedicine how much easier that was! I used to bitch because seeing patients face-to-face all the time was exhausting and it is exhausting, but when compared to the sheer frustration and mind-blowing madness that is Telemedicine, I will never again bitch about seeing patients face-to-face again. All of my doctor’s partners are seeing patients in the office, or the majority of them, anyway. I’m jealous of those teams. I’m jealous of those MA’s because the sheer work that goes into Telemedicine is off the charts. Calling everyone and talking them through the process is not a five minute conversation, it’s not a ten minute conversation, I spend, on average, 20 minutes with each patient leaving me very little time to get my regular work done or to return other phone calls. So that by the time I get around to my other work, it’s time to prep for the next clinic, clean up the previous clinic and/or fill in and help another doctor and his patients because we’re short handed and the people we’ve hired are still in training and won’t be up and running by themselves any time soon.

We still have a hospital full of COVID patients. We still have quite a few employees out with COVID so I understand the precautions, of course I do, but this year has aged me. And there are days I get home and just feel WIPED. OUT. I’m mentally tapped out. Do not ask me to speak or think because I’m incapable of it. I spend my time zoning out on YouTube videos because I can’t bring myself to think about another single thing.

I know some of it is because my nurse has been out and though I’ve had plenty of help from other nurses, it’s not the same. This job has challenged me like I’ve neve been challenged in life before and though it’s rewarding on so many levels, other times I look at myself in the mirror and ask, “WHY AM I DOING THIS??” I could go anywhere else and have a lot less stress (and probably make more money, let’s be honest) and yet, I stay. I feel loyal to my team. I could never abandon them, especially with our nurse being out right now. But …. *SIGH* this COVID nightmare HAS TO END. Right?? It’s can’t go on forever, right?? I feel like everyone has been pushed to his/her limits and we just can’t take anymore. Something has to give. Something has to change. We can’t keep this momentum indefinitely.

And now Dr. Fauci is talking about canceling Christmas and New Year’s Eve. STOP ASKING US TO GIVE UP SOMETHING. The American people are close to snapping. We can’t take much more of this. Truly. Something has to give. I have a feeling it might be my sanity.

TueSLAY

TueSLAY – November 24th

Let’s catch up, shall we?

Hi. How is your NaNoWriMo project coming along? I’m at 36,404 words and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think getting to 20,000 feels like a milestone but moving between 20,000 and 30,000 seems to take F.O.R.E.V.E.R. But now that I’m past 30,000, I’m motivated to keep going because I’m getting so close!

My project has been ALL over the place this go around. I’ve been a NaNo Rebel, writing whatever comes to my mind. And that’s not necessarily been my “official” NaNoWriMo project. I’ve called my project “Limitless”, meaning without boundaries, without limitations. But I haven’t written a word FOR my project. I’m using this NaNo to start a writing habit. I’ve gotten out of practice and I want to get back into it. And call me crazy, but the more I write, the more I think of things TO write. It really is true about your brain, perhaps even your creativity, being a muscle you need to work in order to cultivate it and make it stronger.

Though I don’t think I’ll blog every day, I definitely want to blog more often. Whether that’s fiction, my life, or about whatever has been weighing on my heart, like our current political climate, for example. I must be doing something right because the number of hits on my blog has gone up. I think most of that has to do with the fact that I think the Word Press site actually featured my blog one day, according to the hits, anyway. How cool but nerve wracking at the same time.

This is me, in all my flawed glory.

I do think I’ve discovered the secret to NaNoWriMo this go around, though. Are you ready?

Writing sprints.

I have been DIGGING the writing sprints. It’s the next best thing to a writing group, honestly. In fact, in some ways, it’s even better for me because we all know how I feel about real-life friends. Well, maybe you don’t know, let me explain. I’m a loner. I’m an introvert and I’m happiest when I’m by myself. This is not to say that I don’t enjoy Kevin’s company or when the boys come over, but for the most part, I’m perfectly fin with my own company. Time is so valuable and when I have time to myself, I really cherish it. But. Being my myself is not very motivating. Which is a big reason I watch YouTube videos, for inspiration and to enjoy human interaction (though you can’t technically call watching YouTube videos interacting) on MY terms. I can leave whenever I want and I don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings.

So when I stumbled on to the writing sprints on YouTube, I’d died and gone to writing heaven. It was perfect for me. I felt like I was in a writing group without actually being in a writing group and we were all writing and working at the same time. I knew I wanted to do the Pomodoro Technique of writing and writing sprints incorporated that. I have really been digging the writing sprints. I mainly do writing sprints with the Word Nerds, though I have participated in some of Brooke’s as well. Though she’s sweet, she’s a little too cheery for my taste. (No offense, Brooke!) And today, I didn’t participate, though I will at some point, in Cam’s ten-hour writing sprint. Yes. He livestreamed writing sprints for ten straight hours. Now that’s dedication!

Anyway. If you haven’t tried writing sprints, I HIGHLY recommend them. I found them super helpful and I will absolutely continue participating in writing sprints all year long as I feel like that really helps my writing productivity.

This nurse I work closely with contracted COVID. In fact, her whole family got it. It started with her oldest daughter and then they all caught it. She’s been pretty sick, body aches, heaviness in her chest, difficulty catching her breath and now she has lost her sense of smell/taste. This has freaked out clinic out a bit. This is a little too close to home, thank you very much. So far, I have felt fin though I had a sore throat a few days last week I really think it’s been my sinuses. I feel pretty good today. But potentially being exposed made me decide NOT to participate in Kevin’s family Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, his youngest sister and her family decided not to participate some weeks back, the kids are too nervous to be around his folks, who are smack dab in the vulnerable age group for COVID. We were going to go, but not now. I don’t want to risk exposing them to COVID simply because I’ve been in close proximity to someone who has it. It has greatly upset my mother-in-law but unfortunately, these are the cards we’ve been dealt. I know it’s rough on our older generation as they would likely rather spend these twilight years with their family but God willing, we will be able to spend more holidays with them as opposed to celebrating this holiday and this maybe being the LAST holiday.

I think one of the reasons I remain healthy is because I’m naturally a recluse anyway. I’m not around a lot of people anyway, which is ideal for this nightmare we’re all living at the moment.

By the way, have you noticed toilet paper is hard to come by again? We were smart and stocked up over the summer months predicting this might happen and well, here we are again. Cases have spiked and we have 150 people in our hospital with COVID as of the date of this post. That’s the most it’s been since this whole thing started. I’m predicting one of the reasons cases spiked is because people were out celebrating Biden’s unofficial win and the MAGA march in DC. I also wonder how many of these cases are actually influenza as the number of cases this season have been suspiciously low. (They are most likely being counted as COVID cases. It’s so hard to know what’s true and what’s false nowadays).

I’ve only read two books this month so far. I know it’s largely because I’ve been spending all of my energies on writing but still, I miss having the time to read. I had to adjust my reading goals on Goodreads from 100 books to 90 books because I won’t make it to 100 now that I’m focusing on NaNoWriMo. But that’s okay because it’s been nice to flex my creativity this month – I feel like I set her free and she can breathe again.

(Yes, my creativity is a girl).

Blake turned 28 this month and Kevin is … older as well. (I’m not sure he would want me to mention his age). I can’t believe our first born is nearly 30!! This makes me feel so odd … because I know this makes me old but I don’t FEEL old. It’s such a bizarre feeling to look oneself in the mirror and SEE the sagging skin and the wrinkles and KNOW my age but don’t FEEL my age. It’s like I’m looking at an imposter, someone else has taken over my body and where did I go? I try not to think too much about my age and that time continues to march firmly on, but I can’t hide my head in the sand forever – I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I wanted to get back into writing again – I’d like to leave a little bit of me behind. Death is so final.

 We put our Christmas tree up. We, okay, I, broke down and bought a new tree this year. Kevin wasn’t exactly thrilled that I bought a new tree but I got a really good deal on a 7.5 tree at Target for $100 and I went for it. I’m pretty happy with it. It comes in three pieces and when it’s fluffed, it’s quite full. It took me a quarter of the time it usually does as our old tree I had to put on each individual branch and then fluff it as I went. I haven’t gotten around to decorating it but Kevin did put multi-colored lights on it. I’m sort of satisfied with it only having lights on it, though I think I’m mainly just being lazy not wanting to drag all of the decorations out. As fast as time flies, I’m tempted to be one of THOSE people and just leave the damn thing up all year long because let’s face it, it feels like it’s only a few months from the time you take it down to putting it back up again anyway as fast as time flies.

So my hairdresser, whom I’ve been going to for … three/four (ish) years? Is closing her doors. It’s a small salon, just the two girls, they are best friends and unfortunately, COVID did them in. They are closing their doors on December 19th and will be going into the medical field. They will be phlebotomists. Which seems like a strange field to choose after being hairdressers but they wanted to do something in a field that they didn’t have to worry about having jobs everyday. I can’t imagine how stressful it must have been for them not knowing if they were going to be able to keep their business alive every day. It was sad, and I nearly cried, because you could tell they were upset by it, but, one of the girls will be working for the hospital that I’m working at and I was telling them they should look into becoming Medical Assistants. They didn’t want to go to school for that and guess what, you don’t really need to. Lots of places, including the clinic I work at, will hire you if you don’t have any experience or any schooling, you learn on the job. So I told them that if they get to the point they are thinking of becoming medical assistants to let me know because we’re ALWAYS looking for MA’s. We have a high turn over, not because of the job, though it is crazy busy and can be stressful, but because a lot of medical assistant go on to nursing school so the position ends up being a stepping stone to bigger and better things. So who knows? I may end up working with one of them in the future. You just never know.

TueSLAY

TueSLAY – September 29th

 

I think I’ve converted Kevin to a people hater. No. Not hater, he has more compassionate and kindness than I do when it comes to our fellow human beings, however, he doesn’t have any patience for people anymore. Surely you can understand. People seem to walk around in a cloud of self-importance anymore. It’s all about ME. But what about ME. You need to make room for ME. Screw YOU. People are sheeple anymore. They don’t think for themselves. They get in line and wait for instructions. For example: when we got back from our Florida trip, we noticed, (not just this time, but ALL the time), how people will flock to one line, thereby making that line longer, when all they had to do was first notice there were other lines to stand in and secondly to actually stand in those lines. It never ceases to amaze me how people are so willing to just be led by the nose instead of grabbing life by the short and curlies and take charge of their lives. Sometimes, I just want to snap my fingers in front of someone’s face and yell, “WAKE UP!” It’s like we’re living in a Matrix, sans red pill option.

 

 

Got my annual flu shot the other day. In my butt. The nurses in our clinic are nice enough to give us our flu shots as opposed to having to go to Employee Health to get them. I went to Employee Health once. ONCE. And vowed never to go again. This was shortly after the hospital made it mandatory that we get a flu vaccination every year or we weren’t allowed to work. I was furious. I am still furious. But I get why they make it mandatory, we work in a hospital. And I have a choice, it’s not a very good choice but I have the choice of quitting and getting a job elsewhere. But I don’t have to like it. I DON’T LIKE IT. I don’t like when someone takes my choice away, for any reason. But again, I get it. Anyway. The year I got my flu vaccination through employee health I was sitting down and the girl who gave me the shot was standing up. DON’T EVER DO THAT. You must both be standing or both be sitting. The angle of the needle is off if one of you is sitting and the other one is standing. My arm ached for nearly a year and by the time it stopped, it was time to get another injection.

I bitched to my co-workers about it and that was enough to start the conversation so that they started giving us the vaccinations. And then we joked, “why don’t get them in the butt” and they all said, “why not?” And the butt injection was born. I have had ZERO issues since getting the injections in my butt. I have so much padding there, why not? Yes. I have to bare my butt to a co-worker but whatever. It’s a butt cheek. Big deal. So. I’m good for another year for that. But I do wonder what’s going to happen when the COVID vaccine comes out. Will we be one of the first groups to be forced to get it? I’m thinking … probably. And I don’t want to be one of the first groups to get it. The first group of people who got the polio vaccine actually contracted polio – not that COVID is worse than polio, it’s not, but still. And I wonder – are we going to be able to do anything, participate in anything, if we DON’T get the vaccine?

“You can’t go on a cruise unless you can prove you’ve had the COVID vaccine.” Or, “you can’t go grocery shopping unless you can prove you’ve had the vaccine.” Sound crazy? Look around you – we are living crazy right now. Mark my words. That’s coming, folks.

 

 

A co-worker, well a distant co-worker, meaning I’ve never worked with the guy but he worked for the same clinic as I do just in a different department, put his notice in to help his wife with her blog. Which is highly successful and making a lot of money, apparently. Well, not apparently, it is, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to afford to quit his job and help her. I looked up the blog, it’s about healthy eating and has tons of recipes on it. Not exactly my cup of tea but apparently she has found her audience and good for her success. I would link the blog but I don’t want them to see my link because I already feel like too many people in my real life know about this blog as it is, I’d rather not advertise it further. But that got me to thinking about this blog and kicked my butt into gear to start doing something with it again. I need to stop being so lazy and just DO IT. God knows I’m not getting any younger, what exactly am I waiting for?

I wish I could say I had a niche to massage, water and watch grow on this blog, but let’s face it, I don’t. I enjoy writing about whatever my pea brain is interested in at that time and who knows if anyone really reads it, let alone enjoys it, but honestly, that’s not why I do what I do – I write on this blog because it’s fun for me and I would like to leave a big of me behind after I die.

I have no idea where this blog is going but I’m excited to see where it leads me and I hope you’ll stick around and experience the changes with me. And if I ever start losing motivation, I’ll just go back to that blog and dream bigger and better

 

A nurse, who works on the COVID unit at the hospital where I work, posted an impassioned letter to us via our Intranet. It was a great letter because  you couldn’t help but be emotionally triggered reading it. It talked about the frustration and the determination her, and her fellow team, put forth to treat patients with COVID. And then the letter takes a bitter turn toward the end basically chastising COVID naysayers. So what if the COVID patients have comorbidities, does it really matter if/when they die? Would it matter to you if your loved one was one of the ones in the hospital struggling to breathe? Or for that matter, dies?  My parents are in the danger zone – they are both in their 70’s. It would pain me greatly if they caught the disease. My mom would most likely be okay, she’s pretty healthy and doesn’t have any under lying health issues, but my dad has diabetes. Though I’m pretty sure he has it under control, I’m sure that would be a factor if he ever contracted the disease. She has a point and she’s right. It’s easy to be self righteous and downplay the virus when it’s not directly affecting us or our families. And death, no matter the cause, should NEVER be celebrated or encouraged *cough-riots-cough*, however, she’s missing the point. Once again, we are calling on emotion and not on facts when dealing with this pandemic.

When we, and yes, I lump myself into this category because I REFUSE to get sucked down the emotional vortex of irrational panic, bring up the fact that people with comorbidities that happen to contract COVID are recorded as dying from COVID, it’s disingenuous. In order to get an accurate grasp of this disease we must first look at the FACTS. Emotions and knee-jerk reactions have no place for this analysis – leave it at the door. Agendas aside, just how dangerous is this disease?

So yes. Being accurate is important. Because allowing ourselves to run on emotion incites fear, misinformation and ultimately, unwise, and unnecessary, precautions and decisions.

So, back to the above letter from the nurse. What she is experiencing and witnesses is terrible. I can’t imagine having to deal with that … but then again, that’s why I didn’t go to nursing school. I didn’t want to experience that. And though terrible, and I feel for the loved ones of the individuals that are experiencing these terrible things, it’s no more horrible than witnessing someone suffering from pneumonia, influenza, COPD, or any-other breathing-related issues. I am in no way minimizing her story, however, let’s keep our heads about us and look at this objectively: death, in all forms, is terrible and horrific. But life is full of risks and all we can do is try and live as healthy, and as safely as we can. But life can not, and should not, stop altogether.

TueSLAY

TueSLAY – September 22nd

Listened to an excerpt on the Glenn Beck radio show (I know – I rarely listen to Glenn because he’s just so DRAMATIC) and he had a gym owner from San Francisco on his radio show. She was expressing her outrage over the fact that San Francisco is STILL shut down, save for government jobs and out door restaurants. She said her gym had been closed down for SIX MONTHS and how she owed her landlord tens of thousands of dollars in rent. It’s California ya’ll – everything in California is expensive. I can’t imagine trying to run a business. Her voice was wobbly, she could barely get her words out with tossing around a curse word here and there. She was upset. She talked about finding out state-funded gyms were not only open, but had been open since JULY. She talked about how she spent the money to make her gym extend outside just so she would be allowed to have some money coming in. She hated having to do that given that San Franciscoians have to step shit in the streets and how the air quality if poor from so much smog. But she didn’t have a choice – either do that or shut down completely. She found out the state-funded gyms were open from a police officer friend of hers. She approached him one day and asked him where he was working out. And that’s when she found out. She was furious! She went to a lawyer friend of hers to see if she had any legal recourse. She then admitted, and to me, this was the most telling part of the interview, that she hadn’t really paid attention to politics up to that point, but she would from now on. Now, San Francisco just announced that hair salons and gyms would be allowed to re-open on Monday. I”m sure some of this stemmed from Nancy Pelosi forcing a hair salon to open up so she could get her hair done. Screw the rest of you little people.

People. WE HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHO IS GETTING VOTED INTO OFFICE. These people are counting on you NOT to pay attention so they can do whatever they please and we, as sheeple, just bleat and meekly go along to get along. This. Has. Got. To. Stop.

Have any of you listened/watched Kayleigh McEnany, President Trump’s, press secretary, speak? SHE’S FIERCE. I have a girl crush. She is absolutely killing the press conferences. It’s so obvious that the reporters are trying their hardest to get her to slip up, or to push an agenda, or try and make Trump look bad, that I almost feel sorry for them when Kayleigh comes back with scathing comebacks. She is always prepared. She always carries a notebook full of things she’s predicting the media will ask her, and when she starts flipping through her notebook and prepares her comeback, it’s one of the most satisfying things I’ve seen in a very long time. And it’s so blatantly obvious the media has no interest in telling the truth, in getting the truth, or publishing the truth. They are so fixated on making the “Orange” man look bad that they don’t even ask the important questions. Like, why the Democrat governors and mayors refuse, REFUSE, to ask for help to run out the domestic terrorists, aka Black Lives Matters, out of their cities. Did you know that the riots in Portland have been going on for OVER 100 days? I feel sorry for the regular people in Portland who just want to go about their lives but can’t because their government is more concerned about their hatred for Donald Trump than they are for the safety of their constituents. Wow.

By the way, the man in the above video, Brandon Tatum, is a conservative YouTuber who I’ve been a bit obsessed with lately. It’s SO REFRESHING to see African Americans finally speaking out against the abuse against them from the Democrats. Black Americans have been hoodwinked for decades and it’s time to wake up and follow a team who will actually help them. Anyway, Brandon started “The Tatum Report” largely in response to the fact that The Drudge Report has started leaning to the left and no longer links to articles about the TRUTH. If you’re interested in reading stories about what REALLY happened, stories that you won’t hear/see/read on main stream media, this is the website for you.

I woke up to this today:

Not bad after 30 years of marriage!

I put one scoop, ONE SCOOP, of caffeinated coffee in my coffee maker the other day, along with two scoops of de-caffeinated coffee, and I had heart palpitations for most of the night. COME ON, NOW! It annoys me to no end that my heart can’t handle caffeine anymore. I really miss the days of drinking energy drinks and then a thermos full of coffee – I got so much done! I was so focused!

But let’s be honest, that’s probably the biggest reason why I have heart palpitations now – because I used to drink energy drinks and a thermos full of coffee every day.

*sigh*

I’m still fasting. I fast every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. I stop eating at 6:00 the night before and then I will eat a small dinner at 6:00 the next night. I try and avoid breads as much as I can and stick to more protein. I’ve also been drinking V8 juice, which isn’t my favorite but it does make me feel better. In fact, I convinced Brandon to start doing the same. I worry about his health as he hates fruits and vegetables. But he says he’s been drinking V8 juice and eating Welch’s fruit gummies, which isn’t ideal, but better than nothing, I suppose. Have I lost weight? Well, my clothes are definitely looser and I’ve lost about twenty pounds, but I seem to have hit a wall. I could amp my fasting up a bit but honestly, I don’t want to. My goal was to always get to a stage where I feel comfortable in my skin and I do. I have been using the treadmill more but I have to be careful with how much I do that because it makes my hunger pangs FIERCE, so I tend to space my walking sessions out a bit more. When I do walk, I carry hand weights, too, so that I can build a little muscle. I worry about osteoporosis because I work with a doctor that addresses that, has models to show patients and it when you have osteoporosis, your bones literally look like swiss cheese. No thank you. I have no idea when I will stop fasting. It’s become a fact of life now and I’m used to it. It has definitely re-wired my brain when it comes to eating when I’m hungry or eating when I’m bored. Most of the time, I’m truly not hungry so I don’t eat. Even on feeding days. Though I COULD eat, if I’m not hungry for breakfast, then I don’t eat breakfast. Now, that’s not to say that there are days I’m so ravenous I would push a 90-year old lady over to get to some food, but those days don’t happen very often. (And for the record, I wouldn’t actually push a 90-year old lady over, though I would be tempted. ha!)

Baby is no longer in the corner. Kevin and I realized the other day that we have a bedroom that we never use. Blake’s old bedroom. So I talked him into painting it a pretty mint green, hung some white curtains up, ordered a corner desk and chair, and shelf from Amazon and I now have a new office!!

The white curtains were free (thank you Tiffany!) and I’m thinking of taking them to get them altered so the length comes to just under the window and not onto the floor. The boxes on the shelves are my bullet journal supplies. I used to have them in the Merry Christmas box on the top shelf but I quickly outgrew it. The white box on the shelf has my eyeglass cleaner and is a space for other stuff is that currently cluttering up my desk. But I LOVE having my own space and I’m hoping it will motivate me to actually start writing. (*snort* How many times have you heard THAT one??)

That’s all for now. Time to go SLAY the rest of the week!

TueSLAY

TueSLAY – September 15th

I AM …

I am from hardy stock.
I am from hard-working, honest parents.
I am from humble beginnings.
I am from a loving environment.
I am from a varied work environment.
I am from the Ozarks.

I am still in the Ozarks.
I am strong.
I am stubborn.
I am cynical.
I am healed.
I am renewed.
I am loud in sneaky ways.
I am a strict mother.
I am a devoted mother.
I am a daughter, sister, and aunt.
I am a faithful wife.

I am a computer nerd.
I am a reading fanatic.
I am an Introvert.
I am happiest when quiet.
I am blazers and turtlenecks.
I am hiking boots and clunky heels.
I am books, coffee, and comfy sweats.

I am a fiction writer.
I am an aspiring writer.
I am a writer who never finishes her thou…
I am a healthcare worker.
I am a multi-tasking aficionado.
I am a devoted Christian.
I am not your typical Christian.

I AM BLESSED

Time to go SLAY the rest of the week!