Category: Reflections

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

January 1:

And so it begins, another year. Let’s make it a good one! I have two words for this year: simplify and determination. I bought a sign from Amazon that I plan on hanging on the wall behind my desk – it says “Don’t Wait,” but then the n’t and the Wa are crossed out so it really says, “Do it.” I bought it to remind me, every single day, that time is ticking, no more procrastination, and for it to show up when I start a podcast. More on that later. (I hope). I have discovered, (or more like verified), that I focus better when I have a few things going on at once. For instance, I have a gamer’s stream on in the background while I type this. I don’t know why this works for me, or what it might say about my personality, but it seems to work for me. Took the Christmas tree down today. (That’s about the only decoration we really do around the holidays) because 1. I’ve had it up since the second week of November and I’m sick of it and 2. I didn’t want to have that chore nagging my subconscious all day, (“I really need to take the tree down – I’ll do it in a few hours.”), you know, eat the frog first thing in the morning mentality. I’m striving to eat more frogs this year. Now it’s down and done. Feels good.

January 2:

Back to work! Morning was a bit slow but I had some cases and problem solving issues to work on late morning. One of the current UAT members was out today and they the UAT team was SWAMPED with requests. If it’s like that again tomorrow, I’m going to message my supervisor to see if I can work some of the cases and help them out. I’m a bit nervous but I would rather help now and get a feel for the pace than wait until I don’t have a choice but jump in with both feet. At least this way, I can dip in a toe. Back to walking on the treadmill today. I ended up walking four miles. I walked one mile when I got up this morning, 5:30 to 6:00 AM, another mile mid-day, right before lunch, and then another two miles after I clocked off. I sped walked after I clocked off and got sweaty – the other two miles were nice and easy. So, I ended up walking 14,000 steps today. Hopefully, that worked off a bit of the junk I ate over the holiday.

January 3:

Woke up to a cold house – it was 56 degrees in the house this morning. I don’t what is going on with our heater but I HATE it. We’ve had so many problems with the stupid thing; we just spent $1,000 replacing some electronic gadget a few months ago and here we are again, no heat. Kevin looked at it and it will ignite but it won’t produce a flame. It’s like there is a gas disconnect, yet, we have hot water. So, we called our HVAC guys – they know us pretty good between the number of times they have had to come over to our house and our rental house across the street. In the meantime, I’m wearing a t-shirt, hoodie and hoodie jacket, two pairs of socks and gloves because my fingers feel like they are going to fall off. Thankfully, we have space heaters, so I’m holed up in my office with the space heater cranking and that IS working, thank goodness. The HVAC guy arrives about 1ish and I’m by myself. Kevin had to take his dad to an audiologist to have his hearing checked, so I read Kevin’s text to the guy, “tell him that the igniter is clicking but there is no flame.” When I told the guy this, he nodded and said, “I think I know what it might be.” But what I heard was, “awesome – we’re gonna charge the crap out of these people.” He was very nice and it only took him a moment to figure out what was wrong. When he was telling me what was wrong, Kevin came home, perfect timing, and he fixed out problem. Somehow, a wire got cut, severed, something, and was disrupting the connection. He was able to resplice it and just charged us the service fee of coming out. WOOHOO! I was okay with that because it was a minor fix and didn’t I didn’t have to sell my last kidney. So we have heat, just in time for snow on Friday. Sweet. My supervisor contacted me today and asked if someone in our group, (we’re the red group), could work a case that had expired and needed an updated authorization for the test that was scheduled for Friday. I volunteered and got it quickly, about 15 minutes. I think, (hope), my supervisor was impressed – she gave me a clapping emoji so I’m assuming she was pleased. It’s the little things, folks, that keep me going.

January 5:

It snowed today. Sort of. White flakes definitely fell but none of it stuck, thank goodness. I love snow, if I don’t have to get out in it, or none of my loved ones have to get out in it. I always worry about the boys driving in the snow, even though they are grown men, but if you’re a mama, you know, you never stop worrying about your children. Snow is coming, though. Tuesday’s forecast is calling for snow, but then it’s supposed to get up to the 40’s the next day so if it snows, it won’t stick around. I’m more worried about next Friday – 2-5 inches forecasted and the temps are not supposed to be over freezing for the week following that. So, if we get snow, it will stick around for a bit. This is how I view the winter months – how long will it stick around? It helps to plan. Especially since we were caught with our paints down during the infamous ice storm of 2007. (We were without power for 11 days and were so unprepared for the hardships!). By the way, do you like the puppy banner on my blog? It’s one of my favorites and melts my heart every time I look at it. And I’m not a dog person. Wait. Back up. I like dogs, if they belong to someone else. Come look at it if you’re reading this in your email. I had a butt-pucker moment today. (I don’t care who you are, everyone can relate to butt-pucker moments). One of my supervisors messaged me asking for my daily totals for the month of December. Oops. I honestly forgot to keep track. Also, I was embarrassed to keep track because – WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? NOTHING! Well, not nothing, just not the volume that I know my co-workers are getting. Why? Because I haven’t been assigned anything specific yet and I’ve been stealing from other people’s folders. Though to be fair, I have 50 cases lined up to work on my desktop, but they’re all dated a few weeks out and I don’t want to work them too soon. So I end up working about 6 cases a day because of my theft. Anyway. She was very understanding but I’ve been asked to keep track of my cases from this point forward. Which, I have been, but again, I’m embarrassed. I’m tempted to “remind” her that I haven’t been assigned anything specific yet and am sort of a “freelancer” at this point in time. Though, I do feel like I made some brownie points today – the ECHO requests have been a little out-of-control and it doesn’t look like anyone has really been working them. Some of the girls complained about it and the team lead told everyone that the people that have been assigned the A-L’s have been really busy. So, I privately messaged the team lead and offered to help out. Which, I’m happy to do – WORK. I’ll take it. But it also didn’t hurt that I reached out and she was very appreciative – pst – pass that along to the supervisors, will ya?

January 9:

Big, fat flakes are falling from the sky right now and I’m not happy about it. I don’t mind snow, per se, as long as I, or anyone in my family, doesn’t have to get out in it and/or drive in it. Because I don’t care how old your children get, they are still your children and you worry about them being on slick streets. I know they can handle it, that’s not what makes me nervous, it’s the idiots out there that drive like weather doesn’t affect them the same as the rest of us mere mortals. Luckily, it’s supposed to be over 40 degrees tomorrow so it will melt off, however, we’re supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow Friday and the temps won’t be over freezing for nearly a week so if we get that snow, it will stick around. Ugh. I subscribed to a gamer/streamer today. His name is Casey and he remind me so much of Blake … he even looks like Blake. And if Blake ever started streaming like this kid does, I would hope people would support him. He also reads a random Bible chapter before each stream. Who does that?? I admire his courage and his willingness to spread God’s word through his talents – and that happens to be through gaming. It warms my heart and gives me hope that there are decent people out there. I’ve also been really hooked on the Wendy Bell Radio Program. He vlogs live on Rumble every day from 8:00 to 11:00 AM and not only do I like what she has to say, and I enjoy her passion, but it’s interesting to watch behind-the-scenes of her radio show. Highly recommend. Had an impromptu Teams meeting today. They want the UAT (Urgent Action Team) to work on some VA documentation. I’m down with that! Whatever they can give me, I’m on it. Not only will it give me something to do but I’ll get more experience in the various precertification duties which will come in handy if/when I ever apply for a Team Lead position. See? Always thinking ahead.

January 10:

Today started off by breaking the treadmill. I hopped on at 5:30 AM, started it up and the belt suddenly takes off and nearly throws me off, then there’s a power surge and the thing shuts off. Scared me to death. Kevin thinks it’s a capacitor thing-a-mig and he thinks he might be able to fix it. And he might, but my point is, how much time will it take him and how much will the part cost us because I can get a decent treadmill, on Amazon, for about $300 bucks. We’ve had this monster treadmill since 2007. And Kevin remembers this, (because let’s face it, I don’t remember squat, EVER), because we had just bought the thing right before the infamous ice storm of 2007 and wasn’t able to use it for two weeks because we were without power for nearly two weeks. So, it’s been 16 years – the thing is probably worn out. And no, we didn’t use it every day, every week, but we definitely got our money’s worth out of it. I’m ready to throw in the towel and get a new one but I have to wait on Kevin to get there – it will take a few days but I predict he’ll throw the towel in at some point. Ha! I got called out at work today. People finally figured out I was stealing work from them. New alphas were assigned to everyone and some girl asked, “what is Karen doing? Is she helping all of us?” which was really code for, “I see you taking my stuff – now stop it!” I responded with, “I’m hanging in the wings until UAT gets up and running so, yes, I’ve been everywhere.” Which sort of shut everyone up and then to my pleasant surprise management had my back and basically said the same thing. But it doesn’t really matter now because I have what I need to start working on the VA project they wanted me to help with and we have a meeting tomorrow, just the UAT group, so I’m assuming we’re going to get this ball rolling since we now have about four weeks before the old UAT contract runs out and we take over. We’ll see. All of the snow melted off today. It was sunny and nearly 50 degrees! Mom goes over to Aunt Susie’s tomorrow to help her and I’m grateful the weather is supposed to be nice again. However, we are forecasted to have negative degree weather this weekend so …

January 11:

My brain hurts. More than usual, ha! I worked ten cases and it was pulling teeth getting an authorization, (though one was denied), from the insurance companies. And then, I started working on the VA project. Which is not bad, at all. In essence, I am putting authorizations into the patient’s charts and notifying the offices so they can schedule the patient. I’m shuffling documents. Not hard. But learning the process, navigating a few programs I’m not familiar with was time consuming and consumed a lot of brain power. And we all know, I have limited resources there. But today, TODAY, was more like it. I’m used to being busy. I’m used to being challenged and having a lot of work to do. It comforts me to have 50 things to do on my desktop because I know I’ll be staying busy. Having things caught up? Not what I’m used to. So though I’m looking forward to tackling the UAT very soon, it’s also designed to work fast and be caught up. I’m used to working fast and not being caught up. It will be an adjustment, but I’ll just have to find my new normal. Since my hand was slapped for stealing other people’s work, (I’m really okay with that, btw, I knew I was pushing the limits), my desktop is dwindling down. I had 50, now I have 35 and it makes me nervous. Am I weird for wanting to be buried in work? That’s makes me weird, right? Yeah, I thought so. Kevin took the treadmill panel off last night and removed some control board, electronic thing. He’s ordered a few parts for it so we’ll see if he can fix it. He fixed the treadmill he bought at a thrift store for cheap and it’s at the rental house – he uses it a few times a week. We could buy a treadmill at a thrift store, I would imagine that’s one of those things that people throw away barely used because intentions are always easier than actually carrying out the task, but then you run the risk of getting a crap machine that Kevin would once again have to spend time and money on when you can buy a brand new one and not worry about it … for a while. But I don’t trust the reviews on Amazon anymore, they seem to be so skewed, and I know they’re paid for a lot of times, so … can I trust buying a treadmill from Amazon? Not really. Let’s see if Kevin can wave his magic wand and fix it.

January 13:

Didn’t make it to mom’s today. It was bitterly cold. I could have gone though, it was sunny and the roads were clear, just cold. But me, mom and my sister all met up on Google Meet and chatted for a few hours, that was fun. It’s nice to have that option. There is a lot of things wrong with technology, but there are some good things, too. Like being able to see and talk to each other online.

January 14:

Cold and blustery day. Got some snow but not enough to be concerned about – just a coating, really, but it did stick to the streets. But very little ice so the streets are not great, but drivable. I don’t know why, but I’ve been obsessed with molasses cookies lately … and it’s not like I eat molasses cookies all the time, almost never, but mom made some for Christmas and everyone loved them so now, I want to make molasses cookies. I found this recipe online, braved the bluster day, (because that’s how much I WANTED molasses cookies), ran to the store, got the ingredients, (I did end up buying the Grandma’s molasses, which wasn’t cheap), came home, made them, and you know what? They’re pretty dang good! I’ll be making them again. And again, and again.

January 15:

Today was busy, it was weird. I signed on and noticed an email, right away, about a meeting, TODAY, at 8:00 AM. Wow. Talk about short notice. In fact, one of my UAT partners didn’t even see the email so by the time the meeting started, my supervisor had to see if she had clocked on and then message her about attending the meeting. This is the kind of stuff that drives me nuts, the lack of organization, coordination and communication, quite frankly. But to be fair, things are chaotic right now with the resignation of a very knowledgeable team lead and trying to get the new team lead up and running, and then the UAT switch over because it sounds like they want the new UAT using a new program and implementing a new work flow … so, I get it. But then, about 15 minutes into our meeting, it was discovered that me and my team mates didn’t have the option that we needed in order to DO the workflow so they had to cut the meeting short to reconvene. Again, I feel bad for management because how embarrassing, it’s not their fault that the people they trusted to do their part didn’t do their part. So, that was awkward. But we’ll get there. The clock is ticking though, we have four weeks until the current UAT contract runs out. And to top things off, the current UAT all had today off, I’m presuming because it’s Martin Luther King, Jr., Day. So, they were scrambling to figure out who was going to work the stat and urgent requests. I ended up talking to my supervisor, one-on-one later in the day, she wanted me to go through a folder that someone else was supposed to go through because she claimed she “wasn’t trained, or told what to do” with certain documents. It’s called common sense and unfortunately, not a lot of people seem to have it nowadays. Anyway, it made me feel good that my supervisor singled me out to clean up someone else’s mess. I’m used to that, quite frankly. Still super cold here, supposed to get down to -3 tonight. Our City Utility company left Kevin a message calling for everyone to conserve energy because there is such a drain on the natural gas supply. Though, yes, I agree, we need to conserve energy, (we already do our part, our thermostat is at a steady 65 degrees and we wear layers), we wouldn’t be in this predicament if our “esteemed” leaders hadn’t shut down our coal plant. Because of pressure from the environmental wackos, we now do not have enough energy to comfortably sustain us during extreme conditions. It’s a good thing we live in an area of the country that doesn’t really get this cold often, or for long periods of time, because it sounds we would have brown/black outs if so. Another stellar government decision, eh? We also paid off the balance for our cruise in May. It’s been four years since we’ve been on a cruise and I PRAY, the Demorats don’t concoct another disaster that prevents us from going, again. (We had planned our 30th wedding anniversary with a cruise to Europe that was supposed to take place in September 2020 – of course, it didn’t happen).

January 17:

Did I tell you I’m still keeping a journal? I gave up on Bullet journaling, though I did maintain it for three years – that’s gotta be a record for me – but now I’m using a weekly/monthly/planner that I’m cross-purposing with a journal. It’s this, if you’re interested. I feel the need to write something about my life every day, in some form. So, in addition to writing here, I jot down my thoughts in my planner/journal thingie. I’m on a mission to REMEMBER my life. It’s not that I forget the past, though I am forgetting the past, but that I tend to live for the future. What’s happening tomorrow. Am I prepared? I am trying to slow down and focus on the present and hopefully, this journal, this blog, will help me remember the past. Things are ramping up at work. We’re now navigating, (heh! management speak – i.e. using), a new program that we will be utilizing (using) as our work flow. I’m actually excited about this new program. It directly communicates with the registration people so that together, we can work on making patients’ diagnostic experiences not exactly pleasant, who LIKES laying on a hard, metal table and listening to an MRI machine clank and buzz all around you, but at least a little less painful. I’ve had meetings all week, I have another meeting tomorrow, and another meeting on Friday to “meet” the registration people we’ll be working with – putting a face with a name. Though uncomfortable, I think it’s a good idea to introduce the two groups and reiterate that we’re all on the same side and if we can work together, we’ll be unstoppable! (Okay, a little too enthusiastic there, but you get the drift). Mom wants to go to the Pinners conference in Kansas City in February. What’s a Pinners conference? Good question, I had no idea, either. I’m assuming, based on the title, it has something to do with Pinterest?

Yeah, I wish I had watched this before saying yes. HAHA! I’m all thumbs when it comes to crafting. Why do you think I stick to simple, place a bead on a canvas and call it a painting, craft? But I said yes and we’re going to the Kansas City conference in a few weeks. I’ve already booked a hotel and there is no cancellation policy – if we cancel we lose our money. Luckily, I found a hotel about one mile from the conference center so it wasn’t that much money and mom and I are splitting the cost so it won’t be the end of the world but … let’s just hope the weather holds out. It’s a gamble to book a trip during these months, but we’ll see how it goes. We plan on leaving as soon as I clock off from work on Friday, drive up there, (it’s about three hours), spend the night, spend all day Saturday at the conference, spend the night and drive back home on Sunday. We’ve invited my sister to go, we’ll see if she can make it. I’m excited! I love road trips and it will be fun to hang out with mom for the weekend.

January 18:

Work is picking up. I’ve had a Teams meeting every day this week and one more tomorrow. Tomorrow’s meeting is a meet-and-greet with the preregistration people – putting a face to a name – working remotely has it’s own sets of challenges, but I was on a meeting all day today. We all went over the new program we’re going to be using for our work flow – which is management speak to the place we go to get our cases and record the outcomes of these cases. It was all day because my supervisor had all of us shut off our cameras/mics and work silently, so if there was a question, she was available to answer those questions. It was weird but effective and I appreciated having her available – again, you have to get creative when you work remotely. And though working from home has been great, it is lonely and though staying on Teams all day was a pain, it was nice to know there were other people just a click away. I’m feeling better about this job. I think it’s going to keep me quite busy and a lot of apprehensions I had going into this position has eased up some as the preregistration people will be responsible to getting, and verifying, the patient’s insurance which will be a huge weight off my shoulders. I’m optimistic! Kevin got the part for the treadmill, tried it, and the nothing , it’s still surging, causing a huge drain on the electricity, the lights flicker, speeds up for a second, then dies. He watched a YouTube video, (thank goodness for YouTube – too bad they went woke), and he thinks he knows what’s wrong. He ordered another part so we’ll see when it gets here. I MISS my treadmill! I literally sit all day/night – and it’s too cold to walk outside. Not good!

January 22:

Today started off with me, on my front porch at 7:00 AM, yelling to who I thought was Brandon walking out of the house to get into his car and go to work saying, “Don’t do it! It’s not worth it!” I nearly fell off our porch with my intensity. It was one of those whisper-yells because I wanted him to hear me but I didn’t want to wake up the neighbors. When the person turned around, it was actually LeRoy throwing salt onto his sidewalk. Why the dramatics, you ask? It was icing. It had been icing all night long and the roads had that eerily beautiful sheen, which, if you live in the Midwest/Eastern side of the states, means one thing: ICE. The streets were sheer ice; the only way to get around was to don your ice skates and skate your happy butt down the middle of the street. And it was continuing to sleet and it wasn’t supposed to stop all day and I had visions of my second-born son having an accident and I didn’t really feel like having a heart attack today, so I hurried back into the house and promptly called him. He didn’t answer. Now I have visions of him on the road, hunched over the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, his mouth set into a grim, determined, focused grimace and here I am, distracting him with a ringing phone. This is the curse of having an over-active imagination, ya’ll. However, to my surprise, he text back. And then, of course, I immediately thought, what are you doing!?! You’re driving, concentrate!” but he said that he nearly fell in the driveway and hadn’t left home yet. Thank God! He called me and I “gently” advised him to stay home, that our roadway guys were advising everyone to stay home, if possible, and that there were already reports of several accidents around town, it wasn’t worth it. So, he didn’t go to work and I was able to get my heart rate back under control. It was a good call, if I say so myself. It continued to sleet/rain all day. Luckily, the temperatures went up as the day progressed and stayed above freezing, otherwise, we would have easily had another horrific ice storm of 2007 on our hands. (We had an inch and a half of ice in 2007 and the whole city was without power for a week). We had already accumulated 1/4 inch of ice by the time the temps rose so, honestly, we were lucky. God was watching out for us. That’s one thing we get a lot of around here, ice. We don’t get a lot of snow, but we do get a lot of ice. Which is the worst!! Way worse than snow. At least with snow, you have some traction, ice … you’re at the mercy of momentum and gravity. Mid-morning, Kevin calls me and says, “look out the window.” The front of our house faces the front of the rental house across the street and I have a window that is right next to my desk, so, I lean to the side to look out the window. We have five huge Oak trees lined up, standing guard, in front of the rental house. And the tree closest to the intersection, (we live on a corner), had split in two and toppled over into the street completely blocking the intersection.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, RIGHT NOW?! So, we apparently got enough ice to crack a rotting Oak tree in half, thank goodness we hadn’t gotten more ice. Kevin called the police, but he couldn’t get through so he called 911 to tell them what had happened. He figured help would come sooner than calling our utility people and he was right. A police office dropped by to access the damage and called the utility people to come out and start the clean up. They would only clear the intersection though, the rest of the clean up would be our financial responsibility, which we knew, of course. I’m just thankful the tree hadn’t fallen onto the rental house or ripped down some powerlines. It could have been a lot worse. So, we ended up paying some people to chainsaw the tree and clear it out for a whopping $1,500 dollars. Mature trees are awesome, but they’re also a pain and incredibly expensive and we’re surrounded by mature trees – awesome. Work was also stressful because we were supposed to start our UAT process sans the old group. We learned, very quickly, that we were not ready, which I knew we were not ready but I’m not the boss, so I kept my mouth shut, and we were left scrambling and asking the old group to continue working as usual. I don’t know why they just don’t hold off on the switch off until 2/15 when the old group’s contract runs out because by then, we should be ready to take over – it would be a lot smoother transition, but again, I’m not the boss, so …

January 24:

Still without a treadmill. Kevin got the part he was waiting on but it didn’t fix it and I think I’ve convinced him that it’s not really worth his time, or our money, to fix a treadmill that is 16 years old. But I NEED a treadmill. I sit all day for work and then I sit all night working on crafts, it’s not healthy. Kevin went to Academy Sports, (I always forget about that company, probably because I despise sports), and was texting me pictures of treadmills. The prices are not as bad as I thought they might be so I’m encouraged. We actually saw a Nordictrack on Amazon for $800 as well, but you have to literally put it together and though people swear it’s not that hard and there’s even a video on the Amazon listing that shows you how to do it, we’re still going to check out the ones at Academy Friday night, our “date” night, and hopefully, pick one out and bring it home. I feel like a slug and my energy is low, probably because I sit all day!

January 25:

This is precisely why I wanted to change jobs and work from home. I dropped my car off for an oil change and tire rotation and it was nice to just set my status as be right back and I was able to drop it off and be back home in no time. (Granted, the oil change place was close to home, but still). Now my car is set and road-trip ready for our trip to Kansas City next weekend. They tried to sell me an air filter for $45 dollars, not including the labor, but I said no. But, I don’t think my air filter has been replaced … ever. My car is a 2017 Buick Encore with 28,000 miles on it so it’s not like I’ve driven it into the ground without taking care of it, but changing the air filter is probably a good idea. So, Kevin bought an air filter from O’Reilly’s and will replace it for me. It was nice to just leave work for a minute and get that done as opposed to saving errands like that for only the weekends.

January 26:

Went to Academy sports, Play it Again, Sports and Wal-Mart hunting for a treadmill. Academy actually had a really great deal but they didn’t have any more of the treadmills in stock, probably because it was such a good deal and Play it Again Sports was astronomically expensive – like $2500 dollars expensive. Uh, no. Wal-Mart had the same kind of treadmill as Academy for about $100 more but the only box remaining looked pretty beat up so we passed on that one. I actually found a NordicTrack, the same one I have now, on Amazon for a decent price so we may end up getting that one. All I know is that I NEED to get back to walking. Soon.

January 28:

Found out my husband has a female naked torso in his man cave:

You know how I found that out? I went to Kevin’s Google Photos to find a picture of the tree that split in half and stumbled across this gem. When I asked him about it he said they found the mannequin torso at some thrift store, put some lights in it and hung it on the wall. Why am I surprised by this? Because I haven’t been to his man cave in quite some time so I had no idea what he had in it and now, I don’t think I want to go in there. Ha! But you have to admit, it’s a creative way to spice the place up. Also, his man cave is in the basement of the rental house across the street, the same house that our boys live in so it’s a house full of men – is anyone surprised to find a woman’s naked torso in a house full of men? It’s like a frat house. I guess every man needs a man cave. Oh well, the less you know, am I right? Bought a webcam for my personal computer today. I was gifted an Amazon gift card from my old work peeps and I cashed it in for a webcam today. I plan on recording some videos and starting a Locals page. I would like to talk about politics, cultural madness and maybe post some of my writing over there. I’m looking into Riverside.fm to host the videos – we’ll see how that works out. I’m keeping my blog for my personal thoughts and daily life journal stuff. I figured people who visit here probable aren’t interested in political stuff but if that’s your jam and you want to join my Locals page, we can have a conversation over there about the craziness that is happening all around us. I’ll post a link to my Locals … at some point. Still need to do a bit of tweaking and post a few things there first before I start throwing links around.

January 31:

And just like that, the first month of January is OVER. Gah! Why??? Time moves too fast. Can someone out there invent something to make time move slower?? This week … wow – soooo many meetings. We’ve really been amping this process up. The current UAT team messed up, made management mad and now we’re fully taking over on Monday. S’ok though, I think we’re ready. I feel like we’ve pretty much talked this process to death, it’s time not dip our toes in the water, but someone needs to push us in. I’m nervous, not gonna lie, but there is a lot of support and the pressure is off because if a doc orders something stat or urgent, they are going to get it done, regardless of whether we have the auth or not. We just have to make sure we started the process on the day of the test because insurance companies won’t do “retro” auths, which means, they won’t authorize something that has already been done. So that pressure is off. Ad we have a program now that seems organize everything, so I think we’re ready. My boss did volunteer me for another project, ambulance rides and direct admits to the hospital. Not sure what that’s really about but I’ll be working some requests that come from those directions, too. It will be nice to fully take over – it’s exhausting to follow someone’s work, make sure it gets done, because you’re getting into the middle of something as opposed to knowing what’s going on from the start. I’m just ready to stop with the meetings. I’m done with the video meetings. It was fun at first, now, I’m over them. Friday is coming up soon! Mom and I will take off at noon for Kansas City to attend the Pinner’s conference! I’m looking forward to a road trip with mom. Temps are supposed to be mild but it looks like we’re going to hit some rain. Oh well, we’ll just pack umbrellas. Thanks for reading ya’ll. See you next month!

December 2:

Today was long and interesting. Got up at 5:00 AM, as usual, got ready and met my mom at a Junior High School in a neighboring city. She was having her one-day Christmas craft show and I went along to support and help her. She had virtually everything set up by the time I got there. It was from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM and she sold about $150 worth of merchandise. Not bad for 7 hours. I helped her break everything down and we had to load up in the rain. You can read more about this day here, but it got me excited to put some of my diamond painting stuff in her next craft show. And I ended up buying a bunch of things on Temu in preparation. Oh, did I tell you guys? I’m into diamond painting now. It’s like paint-by-number only you glue shiny beads onto the canvas instead of painting. It’s pretty fun. A bit hokey, but I enjoy it.

December 11:

Wow – look at how much time has gone by since my last entry. But there’s not a lot to write about. I’ve been pretty bored at work – nothing new there. However, we did have a meeting this past Thursday where we introduced ourselves to our UAT group and were told that the people currently working UAT have not been told they will not have a job in a few months. Awesome. So. We’re waiting for that to happen so that we can start shadowing them and watching their progress. I’m sure it won’t be awkward at all! I’m sure they will welcome the people coming in to take their jobs with open arms. Gah! Their contract runs out February 15th so … another two months of stealing work from other people’s folders. Because that’s what I’ve been doing, ya’ll, stealing. I’ve been trying to be sneaky about it but … I HAVE to practice! I can’t just sit around and do nothing! Even if I felt okay with the company paying me not to do anything, (which I absolutely don’t!), I can’t just not do anything! I’m a proactive kind of girl so … I’ve been reduced to stealing from others until either A. I get in trouble or B. they assign me something concrete to work on. To say I feel a little dirty right now would be an understatement. It’s been confirmed, my side of the family is coming over to our house for Christmas, on Christmas Eve day. My great-niece will be there, she’s six, (seven?) and it will be fun to spoil her. Otherwise, it will be a day of stuffing our faces and playing games. Nope, I’m not ready for Christmas yet. Our boys are men now so other than gift cards and cold hard cash, I don’t know what to give them. It would be nice if they could open SOMETHING up on Christmas day. Mom is really struggling getting through the holidays without dad. She is doing a great job of keeping a stiff upper lip around all of us but I know she spends her nights crying. It breaks my heart and I feel helpless – I don’t know what to do or how to comfort her. Everything sounds so … trite when compared to the sheer strength of her grief. She’s been staying busy though, which helps, so I’m really proud of her for that. Kevin is now officially retired and he’s feeling a little … directionless. He has a TON of things he can do to keep him busy but when you work all your life and suddenly you don’t have that responsibility anymore, it’s a weird adjustment.

December 12:

Good grief, I’ve got someone shadowing me tomorrow. Me. Ms. Bored McGee, responsible for showing someone what to do. I haven’t even been doing this job for 8 weeks yet and here I am, training someone. Typical, right? So, I have no idea what I’m doing with this chick tomorrow. I guess I can show her the art of stealing. I’m pretty good at that. I did make some notes and we do have some cases, (that I stole), to work but … I think I’ll hide the list of cases I stole because I don’t want her going back to the other girls saying, “Wow. Karen is so busy! You should see her desktop!” Then, they will connect the dots and think, “so THAT’S where my stuff has been disappearing to!” Brandon’s car is still leaking. But luckily, it’s not leaking oil, it’s leaking water. He took it back to the mechanic and the guy was like, “yeah, no. I’m not taking this thing apart again.” Which is disappointing but I’m not sure he should have the same guy work on it again. The car is working fine. It drives fine. And his water level is okay, so it must be a slow leak, but Bran doesn’t really trust his car anymore so now he’s nervous. Kevin and him worked on the numbers on how much it would cost to buy a new car, a used car or leasing a car and they came to the conclusion that he just needs to drive this car until it won’t drive anymore. Thanks to Bidenomics, cars are almost too much to afford nowadays. The weather has been amazing. Sunny and mid-50’s. What a warm, unusual December. It must be climate change! *snort* I’m kidding. I’m sure we’ve had warm, or even warmer, Decembers in the past. Weather is cyclical, people. Hence the reason we have averages. Made a turkey breast in the crockpot yesterday, along with real mashed potatoes and had that for lunch today. Yum!

December 13:

I’m brain dead. My brain is puddle of mush and it’s running out of my ears. (I needed to clean my ears out anyway). I trained today. But really, we trained each other because remember, I’ve only been working this new gig for about seven weeks now. I was pretty surprised that I was asked to begin with, and a little annoyed, not gonna lie. I can’t even be incognito, or fly under the radar, and I’m STILL picked off. lol I’m happy to help and I actually enjoy training but it’s the blind leading the blind at this point. And OF COURSE, everything that could go wrong, went wrong. It was one of those two steps forward, one step back kind of day. However, we learned a lot about troubleshooting and we had some laughs so it was all good. One of the supervisors contacted her and said she could hang out with someone else tomorrow if she wanted and she told her, no thanks, I’m happy with Karen. Ha! I don’t think this supervisor was trying to imply, “Ew, Karen! Really?” But rather, um, Karen has only been at this for 7 weeks, I’m not sure she’s the best choice and … I would have to agree. But hey, I’m a team player and it’s a good opportunity for me to learn some things, too. You really learn a lot when you have to explain it someone else. I’m continuing to steal work. In fact, one of the girls currently on the UAT (Urgent Action Team) team sent out a blast message with a “gentle” reminder not to work the requests that come through marked as urgent. Which I did, because I’m a stinker like that and I need to practice for when they set me free to roam the field on my own, so yes, she was directing that message at me. Am I used to being called out for doing more than my job? Yes. Do I care? Nope. Unless management tells me to stop, I will continue to be sneaky and steal work now and again. A few girls are out today so yep, I will be raiding their cupboards for juicy request morsels. I’ll be glad when my stealthy days are over and I’m actually in charge of SOMETHING. This sneaking around bit gets old, fast.

December 16:

Mom came over today for our weekly Saturday get together. We ate at a chicken salad place, Chicken Salad Chick, I think is the name of it. It was good, but too much bread. I think we’ll just get the scoop of chicken salad next time. The chicken salad was a BBQ blend and it was … okay. Not my favorite. We also got the potato soup and THAT was good. We’ll go back, just sans bread next time. After that, we came back home and watched a few more episodes of Survivor. We’re on Season 5 and they just surprised the players by making people change teams. I love when they do that. Really shakes things up. My mom says she wishes she could go on that show. I have a hard time seeing her on the show but you know what? I bet she would rock it and surprise everyone! We worked on some crafts after Survivor. Mom is making a really cute kitty purse for her great-granddaughter. She’s the only kid in our family right now so it’s fun to spoil her. Kev and I picked up some Culver burgers and concretes, (their concretes are a Saturday night tradition) and watched Insurgent, the second movie in the Divergent series. I like it, Kevin is bored.

December 17:

Normal Sunday chore day. Kevin’s folks came over at 3:00. I want to say this was the first time he has left his house since being in the hospital, but I could be wrong. He hasn’t been out much though, so it was a big deal to get him out. Kevin drove my car over to their house because it was easier to get him in/out of my car than it would have been with his truck. Jim did really well. He was getting around great and the headset/hearing aid he was wearing actually allowed him to hear our conversation. If I haven’t mentioned it, Jim is off Hospice and they put him on Home Health. How often does that happen?? It’s a miracle that he was able to come back from the brink of death. Kevin feels like this time with his dad is a bonus. My MIL bought a deli tray, HUGE deli tray, and we all had sandwiches, cookies and cake. We played the Left/Right game, which is a tradition with his parents now. They didn’t stay very long, just a few hours, Jim started to wilt and you could tell he was getting tired, so Kevin took them back home. It was great to see them both and Kevin said they REALLY enjoyed getting out of the house. Blake made it over but Brandon did not. He’s been sick. I feel like there is a lot of sickness running around right now. Brandon feels like he got it from a truck driver that came into the office. I asked Kevin to take over some Vitamin C and some Zinc for him. Hopefully, that helps.

December 18:

Back to work. Today is the last day the new girl is hanging out with me. It’s been a wild four days with her. A lot of problem solving, which, I don’t have a lot of patience for, quite frankly. But I need to get used to it because there is a lot of problem solving in this job. I am ready to hand off the new girl, though. I had to give her some of my work to practice on and I don’t have a lot of work to hand off, so, I’m ready to get back to my normal self. She’s very sweet though. We have a lot in common. She’s also a medical assistant, she came from Peds, (aw), married and a grown son. We had a lot to talk about. They haven’t assigned her an alpha yet either so she’s also sort of floating, though, she’s still training. I think she will do fine once she gets more familiar with navigating the insurance websites, but I think she will struggle a bit as she doesn’t seem like she thinks too quickly. I found myself rolling my eyes a few times at some of her questions. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I get impatient with people. I know, shocker. Kevin and I did a lot of Christmas shopping when I got off work. We headed to a Walmart in a different part of town because when I went on the hunt for gift cards last year, our nearest Walmart didn’t have squat. We bought some food to make the taco soup I’ll make for Christmas Eve and some gift cards. Kevin wanted to buy Super Mario Wonder, a switch game, for LeRoy but that Walmart didn’t have it. When we checked online, we saw that another Walmart had it so we headed over there to buy it. While we were there, we bought the boys a waffle, stretchy shirt, and a dress polo shirt for Brandon to wear to work in the summer. We then headed over to Dollar Tree, (though now everything is $1.25 – no longer just a $1, thanks Biden!) and bought a ton of stuff for stocking stuffers. Kevin bought quite a bit for LeRoy’s stocking, too. We ended up shopping for nearly three hours but we made a large chunk in our Christmas shopping. The boys’ Christmas gifts are arriving from Amazon either today or tomorrow and then … we’ll be really close to being ready for our party on Christmas Eve. I ended up walking 14,000 steps today. Woot!

December 19:

I’m so ANNOYED!! I’m going to have to go to the dentist. I’ve got a crown that has been loose for a while and now, whenever I accidentally chew on that side of my mouth, (because yes, I’m chewing on one side of my mouth right now), it’s painful. Whenever there is food on that side of my mouth, I can feel it pull the crown up and instant discomfort. I shouldn’t say pain, it’s not really painful, just uncomfortable. I’m predicting they are going to tell me I need ANOTHER root canal. I think I’ve had .. four or five to this point. I need to call and make an appointment for a cleaning so they can take an xray and tell me what needs to be done. I just had a root canal earlier this year. Honestly, I’m tempted to just have all of my teeth yanked out. Found out today that medical assistants got a .75 cent raise!! Wow! Except … it does not apply to me. Because according to Human Resources, I’m no longer a medical assistant, even though I still have a valid medical assistant certificate, (which I just renewed, by the way, it cost me $143!!). I’m confused and a little pissed off, quite frankly. This .75 cents is cost of living that has gone up these past three years because .. Bidenomics … and I get why they are giving it to existing medical assistants, they ARE undervalued, in my opinion, but also … I’m chopped liver now, I guess. We’ll see how this trickles down to my end of the cesspool in the coming weeks but for now – wow. I feel a little bit insulted. Stepped into a boxing ring today – with an insurance company. I had two cases pending from the same insurance company and MAN, did I have to jump through some hoops. One office needed to contact the patient to ask if he had had an MRI done that was approved back in June by another provider because the insurance company wouldn’t pay for an additional one without knowing if it was done or not and the doctor responded back to me with, “I don’t see he had the MRI done with us, unless he had it somewhere else.” *Facepalm* THAT’S WHAT I’M ASKING! So. I said screw it, I called the patient myself because it would have taken too much time to get someone from the doctor’s office to do it and the patient told me he hadn’t had it done. I called the insurance company back. Nope, not good enough. They needed either the original provider’s office to call and withdraw their authorization, and by the way, they wouldn’t tell me who the provider was so I couldn’t contact them myself, or the patient would have to call himself and tell them he didn’t have it done. I told the office that. But before the patient could call, the insurance company denied the request! AARGH! The patient ended up saying forget it because he was getting ready to get a new insurance beginning January 1st so he’ll just wait and try again at that time. Sooo much time wasted. I need a punching bag in my office.

December 20:

Brandon’s car has a leak. It’s a water leak this time. Kevin has been busy watching YouTube videos, (thank goodness for YouTube! I just wish they weren’t so tyrannical), and he thinks he knows how to fix it. He said when he was in Brandon’s car looking around the mechanic that replaced Brandon’s oil/water pump and timing chain seemed to do a pretty good job. I was so relieved to hear that! We were worried that the mechanic screwed Brandon. But Kevin bought the parts and he fixed it!! He’s such a good man! Handy to have around! ha! Brandon didn’t go to work again yesterday. He’s feeling better today. I feel like there is a lot of sickness going around right now. LeRoy is feeling sick now, too. Hopefully Blake and Kevin don’t catch it. Finally bringing myself to eat the eggs the chickens are laying. I still have to buy normal eggs, because we’re all eating eggs and though most days we get five eggs, (we have five hens), some days we don’t so we run out. But I have noticed that the yolks from our grandchickens are a lot more yellow than the ones we buy in the stores. I’m assuming this means they are more nutrient rich, which makes sense because Kevin feeds them REALLY well. It’s safe to say they are spoiled.

December 21:

Had a pretty productive day, at least, productive for me right now. Did about … six (?) cases and they all got approved, eventually. Some of them went to review, which means I have ot upload clinicals so the nurse reviewers can look at the documentation to determine if the request meets medical criteria. Not that I can take very much credit for that, it’s really the doctor’s documentation, but I have figured out that if I highlight the pertinent information in the notes and then upload those notes, I tend to get more approvals than denials. I’m learning tricks, ya’ll. My supervisor sent out an update today – they’re working on giving us access to a new program that is supposed to streamline the UAT process. So, I’m assuming that we’ll be busy learning this program next month, shadowing the current UAT team and finetuning our specific process. I’m excited for this. I focus better when I’m under pressure and I’m an excellent multi-tasker. I feel a little poopy today so I’ve been loading up on Vitamin C and Zinc. I’ve also been forcing myself to get on the treadmill after work every work day and that’s really hard when you feel like animal dung. I’m proud to say though, that I’ve been on the treadmill every work day since starting my work-from-home journey. I’m walking about 50,000 to 60,000 steps Monday through Friday. And you know what? I’m enjoying it. Because I sit on my butt ALL DAY. It feels good to stretch my legs and lungs. Kevin and I sorted through our Christmas stash tonight – I think we’re nearly ready!

December 23:

I’ve got a tooth hanging on by a thread. Well, it’s a crown that’s taking the rest of the tooth with it. It’s been loose for a while and I’ve just been putting off calling the dentist because … who WANTS to go to the dentist? But tonight, I ate something, which pulled it nearly off and now it’s sitting askew and throwing my bite off so … UGH. Annoying. It doesn’t hurt, it’s just uncomfortable and distracting. I’ve been eating on the opposite side of my mouth for weeks now and well, it’s caught up with me, just in time for Christmas. AWESOME! But I have no one to blame but myself. I’m predicting that the dentist will pop it off, (I hope – or it comes off before the dentist appointment, which I would prefer, honestly), and he will say I either need a root canal or have it cut out. Because there isn’t any tooth left to attach a crown, he will probably suggest I have it cut out and just have a hole, which I already have on the other side of my mouth from a tooth that broke off when I was pregnant with Blake. I had my first root canal on that tooth which was AWFUL and I threw up immediately after getting out of the chair afterward, but I think I would rather have another root canal than have it cut out. I’ve had several root canals now, not fun, but not scary anymore, and if the end goal is to have a hole, I would prefer the less invasive way, but we’ll see what he says. Sometimes I just wish I could get all of them pulled and get false teeth, I think I’m headed there anyway. And I’m not even that old! But I have always had bad teeth. UGH – so annoying!

December 24:

Today was tough. I was in a lot of pain all day. My tooth was really loose, which caused it to mess with the alignment of my teeth so that trying to bite down on anything was near impossible and painful so basically I gnawed the food to mush so that I could get to the point where I could swallow it. Other than my loose crown, everything went well. My brother and his family came over and my nephew’s family made it and mom brought over her famous Christmas goodies. We had taco soup and mom brought over potatoes and chicken salad. It was a rainy, gloomy day, but we all had a good lunch and then we had a mini birthday party for Hazel. When she was good and distracted, we pulled out the plastic wrap ball mom wrapped up and we played that game. Mom wrapped small items, as well as numbered cards in the ball and one person would roll the dice until they got doubles while another person unwrapped the ball. You kept unwrapping the ball until the person rolling the dice got doubles and you got to keep any items that fell out of the ball when you unwrapped it. After the ball was completely unwrapped, we picked gifts based on the numbered cards we got from the ball and grabbed a random gift. You had the option of stealing other people’s gifts. It was really fun and a game I think we will make a tradition. After everyone left, mom stuck around and we watched “Home Alone” and “Christmas with the Kranks.” We then helped mom get all of her stuff together and she went home. It was pitch black and rainy and I knew she was a bit of a mess missing dad so I worried about her getting home but she made it, safe and sound. She said there was hardly any traffic out, so that was good. All throughout the day, I continued to work my loose tooth with my tongue so that by the time we sat down to watch movies, I could practically turn it sideways. I was so sick of the thing that I ended up going into the restroom between the movies and yanking my damn tooth out. I couldn’t take it anymore, it was killing me. However, I have a huge hole in my mouth now as I took way more tooth out than I expected. It looks like my tooth broke under the gum. I’m saving it and will show it to my dentist when I go in. And yes, I will make an appointment, soonish, to find out what I need to do about this gaping hole in my mouth, but you know what? I feel SO MUCH BETTER since taking the damn thing out. And I’m not gonna lie, I feel sort of bad ass for yanking it out myself.

December 25:

It was a super chill day. We don’t have littles in the house anymore, no grandchildren, (*sad face*), so we told the boys to come over at noon for a big breakfast and gifts. Brandon made it over but Blake did not. Brandon opened his gifts and seemed to like the dash cam we bought him. He didn’t stick around after lunch, he wanted to meet a buddy of his online to play a new game they bought, but he did install the dash cam and said it was “slick.” Whatever that means, lol. We had tacos at 5:00 and Blake did make it over but he was gray and still not feeling the great. After questioning him on what medications he had taken he told me he HADN’T been taking any medications but couldn’t figure out why he was still sick. AARGH! Why do men turn into children when they are sick? So, mom mode kicked in and I made him eat some tacos, drink some ginger ale, take a couple of Tylenol and then gargle salt water after dinner because he said his throat felt like he was swallowing knives. He opened his gifts, (he got the same stuff as Brandon – they have always gotten the same stuff except for a few minor clothing changes), and then I talked him into sticking around to watch a movie. Brandon wasn’t interested in a movie and went back home. Blake wanted to watch an animated movie called “Klaus” on NetFlix. Which normally wouldn’t be an option because we don’t subscribe to NetFlix anymore since they’ve gotten so woke and are putting so many inappropriate shows on their platform, (saw some buzz on “Elite” – incest, a lot of gay stuff .. really twisted storylines – and who could forget “Cuties” about eleven-year old pole dancers??), but, LeRoy had a NetFlix subscription but had canceled it because he has Roku now and there are a TON of shows he can watch through that platform but Kevin wasn’t sure if it had fully canceled and when he checked it, Christmas Day was the last day of the subscription so we were able to watch “Klaus.” Klaus is the story of how Santa Claus began. It was a pretty cute movie, to be honest, and by the time it was over, Blake felt better. I made him take some Dayquil before he left, (because I’m mom and moms can make their early-30-something children do things they wouldn’t normally do), and urged him to take some Vitamin C when he got home. He called into work and said he would be “dinged” a few points for calling in on a holiday but he was so sick, there was no way he could go in. I’m sure his employer won’t believe he was actually sick but I can attest, that he was. I HATE when the kids get sick, even as adults, because I just feel so … hopeless and ya’ll know I HATE not feeling like I’m in control of situations!

December 26:

Hard to get back in the swing of things after the holidays. But it’s not as if I’m super busy to begin with though I have stolen 44 messages from various other folders that are waiting to be worked. Don’t be too impressed, these requests are not scheduled for a few weeks so I have some time to work on them. You don’t want to work a precertification too soon or you run the risk the patient reschedules the test and then the DOS (date of service) is outside the authorization window and you don’t want to wait too close to the DOS because if there is a problem, like insurance wants more documentation, etc., then you don’t have a lot of time to work out those kinks. Considering I’ve never been assigned a certain type of test and/or certain alphas to cover, I’m just picking and choosing testing for me to work on. I try to pick testing with insurances I’m not familiar with to not only get experience working with that insurance company but to challenge myself, too. Because let’s face it – I’M BORED.

December 27:

Want to hear something weird? I’ve been obsessed with streamers that play Fortnite. Weird, right? I’ve got a handful of Rumble streamers that I watch play Fortnite religiously. Not only do I find it entertaining to watch them but these streamers … are just a group of good people. They talk about their families, they seem to genuinely like each other, they’re funny and my favorite one is a Christian. He even goes so far as to read a random book from the Bible before his stream. How cool is that?! But honestly, it dawned on me today that the biggest reason I watch these people on Rumble is because they keep me company. Now that I work from home, and I’m pretty bored doing it, (can’t wait for February to get here!), I’m a bit lonely. True, I’m not really a people person – I CAN be a people person if the situation calls for it, but my go-to is being a loner. But there is only so much alone time a person can take before you start talking to yourself, (and answering yourself). I know Kevin said he would listen to podcasts while he worked to keep himself company, I hang out with streamers, apparently. An announcement was made today that one of our Team Leads was quitting. My first instinct was to think, “I could do that job! Pick me!” but let’s be real, I’ve only been with the department for eight weeks now and though I’ve had to steal work in order to do work and I know what I’m doing, no thanks to teaching myself, (can you tell I’m bitter?), I’m not ready for that responsibility yet. But someone will quit sooner or later and then all bets are off!

December 29:

First snow of the season. I hope the last snow of the season. I’m not a big fan of snow. Finished a diamond painting today. Because, what else am I going to do? I did work a few cases today – I had one that flat-out denied me because I didn’t choose the correct facility and one I had to fax in a prior authorization form, along with the records, for which I don’t even know if it went to the right area so I’ll have to call on that one, too, on Tuesday. Working from home has been great, but everything else? I’m beginning to think I made a mistake, quite honestly.

December 30:

Hung out with mom. We ate at Fazoli’s, went back to her house, watched a few episodes of Survivor, (they are getting ready to merge on season 5), and crafted to an audio book, “The Shack.” Kevin and I grabbed some Qdoba for dinner and a concrete from Culver’s (a weekly thing), and watched “Abduction.” Typical Saturday/night.

December 31:

Did typical Sunday chores, (laundry, clean bathrooms, floors, ) and then mom came over at 3:00. Though I told the boys mom would be coming over at that time, I didn’t really expect them to come over until closer to 5:00 when we had pizza. But I was pleasantly surprised when they came over at 3:00 PM and we played Carcassonne. I didn’t realize, though, that the game we pulled out was one that Kevin had bought at a thrift store and it included an expansion pack – a river. We had never played with a river before but it was hard to figure out and it added another challenging element. We played two games and my mom won the first one and Brandon won the second one. I placed last … I think both games. Typical. We had Godfather’s pizza for dinner and played a few games of Poker after dinner. We then watched “Escape from New York” with Kurt Russell and then mom left. We went ahead and watched “Idiocracy.” As the name implies, it was super dumb but it had a good message – about how people are becoming more and more dumb as the years progress and before long, we’ll be reduced to overgrown toddlers who think buttcheeks and farting are funny instead of figuring out how to keep the human race from dumbing itself into oblivion. I’m not sure the boys were big fans of the movie but that took us to midnight. The boys left shortly after that, Kevin went to bed and I stayed up till about 1:00 AM watching videos on Rumble until I fell asleep. Not a terribly exciting New Year’s Eve, but we had fun just being together. Because everyone says it, but it’s true, I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE STARTING ANOTHER NEW YEAR!

November 1:

I was on FIRE today! I was zipping through tests and getting authorizations left and right. If every day could be like this, I would be a happy woman. Wednesdays are Kevin’s late days. He spent some time with his dad and then he likes to play guitar for a bit – helps him blow off some steam. And because he does that, I don’t see him the whole night. So, we routinely go all day on Wednesday not seeing each other. I didn’t speak to another person all day and I haven’t left my house for two days so after I clocked off, I jumped into my car and drove. I didn’t do anything, just listened to some music but it was good to be outside and getting some fresh air. I grabbed a chili from Wendys, watched a few videos and then hit the sack. Oh. I did leave and drive up the hospital today. Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, a little cafe in the hospital serves baking potatoes with all the trimmings and I love them so much! So, I did leave at lunch to grab myself a potato. It felt weird walking my old route through the hospital and you know what? I didn’t miss it – At. All.

November 2:

Oy vey, this day. It started out with me getting up, walking my mile on the treadmill, (yep, I walk one mile as soon as I get up. It’s a slow walk and I listen to some tunes but it wakes me up, gets my blood circulating and I start the day off with 3,000 steps). Took a shower, got beautified and BOY am I glad I did that. Because as I’m getting my coffee and sitting down at my computer I realize – we don’t have Internet. Swell. Not a good thing when you work from home. Kevin did a little investigating and apparently, our entire area was out. So, I put on some dress clothes and I went into the office. And I hated every minute of it. I’ve gotten very spoiled this past week and a half and having to leave my home so now something I’m loathe to do – 0/10, do not recommend. It was awkward and super quiet and I got a few things done but nothing like I can get done at my home computer where I have everything set up like I want it. It came back on around 10:30 and I skedaddled my butt back home where I clawed and scrapped my way through the rest of the day. Nothing went right and it was very frustrating. I’m more frustrated by the fact that I’m training myself – my trainer has been out all week and though I’m learning a lot, I would learn more and faster if I had someone showing me the ropes. I had to work 8:00 to 4:30, (I have been working 7:00 to 3:30) and as soon as I clocked off, I got back on the treadmill and burned off some frustration. Glad this day is over.

November 6:

Well. I wanted a new challenge and by gosh, I got it. Today was FRUSTRATING. It was a two-step forward, one-step back kind of day. Nearly every case I submitted to the insurance companies went to pending – meaning, they want more information before making a decision. Which is fine, absolutely, they’re paying the bill, they have a right to take a peek at the details, but I’m frustrated with the providers because their notes are so vague. I don’t blame them, the providers are pressed for time – they only have so much time to exam, make a diagnosis and dictate their notes before they have to move on to the next patient, but that puts me squarely in the middle – now, it’s up to me to decipher the providers’ notes and answer equally vague questions from the insurance companies. And then, the insurance companies don’t “receive” our faxes, (which, I have my doubts on that excuse), so now I have to call them, which is time consuming, and pray that I’m giving them the keywords they need in order to approve the test. It’s tough being a patient advocate.

November 7:

I woke up with a new attitude today. This job – it’s not going to go smoothly all the time. There will be problems. I will have to challenge myself to be patient and accept the fact that insurance is complicated and convoluted. That there will be providers that give me nothing and I will be forced to make something. When I woke up this morning and approached the day with this attitude, it was a lot less frustrating. I will always have pending cases and they will likely require some additional information about 60% of the time. This is my new normal. I like the multi-tasking aspect of this job, though. I was asked to cover a co-worker’s alphabet today – she will be out the next few days for personal reasons – so I’m looking forward to working some of those cases. It’s really not anything different it’s still the “S’s” but I will split the load with another co-worker – I’m responsible for working the Sm-Sz’s. I didn’t even realize that the S’s were given to another person – I’ve just been working away. There have been so many new hires that my supervisor will be shuffling alphas around – I hope I find out what group I’ll be with soon. It’s sort of discombobulating to be floating around in the Ethernet like this. Kevin and I started throwing around the idea of getting set up with SkyLink Satellite. It would be nice to have a backup Internet plan and I’m excited to see if it would work from the road. Is so … possibilities are endless! We’ll see.

November 12:

Had another birthday – boo-hiss. I’ve always hated my birthday. I just hate getting older. It’s one year closer to being a burden on my family. I pray I’m NOT a burden to my family. I see what Kevin has been going through with his dad, and though he’s getting better, (he’s actually sitting up, standing up and making it to the toilet – WIN), it’s a lot of work for Kevin. He has to go over there every day to make sure his dad is making it to the toilet and behaving himself. I know he wants to do it, and I would absolutely want to do it for my mom, (yes I would mom!), but looking at the situation from my FIL’s perspective, I would be horrified that my children would NEED to do it. Getting older sucks. It bothers me and I’m going to work very hard to make sure I can stay as healthy and lucid for as long as I can. My sister came down over the weekend and we all hung out together. We did a little shopping, took some Culver’s home for lunch, crafted for a bit, then went back out to a Home Store to try and find a few things. The weather was beautiful and we had a great time. It’s so nice to hang with my sis and my mom! Speaking of weather, we have had a great Fall this year! It’s been dry, but it’s been warm and sunny and I’ll take it. We usually go right from summer to winter so having these beautiful Fall days are a treat. Put my Christmas tree up yesterday. Yep, I’m one of of THOSE people. Hobby Lobby has their Christmas on sale for 50% off this week so I’m heading up there after work to buy some red/gold ornaments. My tree theme is red/gold this year.

November 14:

I like working from home but I’m so bored. Like, out-of-my-mind bored. I haven’t been assigned a group yet so I’m sort of mooching off other teams and taking some of their work. I feel bad though, because, well, I’m mooching. I’ve been trying to stay busy but there is only so much reading and spreading my work out that I can do. I know I keep bugging my leads but I feel like I’m begging for things to do right now and I don’t like it. Kevin’s dad continues to improve! He’s standing with assistance and can make it to the normal toilet with help. That’s been a huge help for the family as there is less mess to clean up. Physically, he seems to be improving, mentally, he has good/bad days. But he’s 85, so we figure some of that comes with the territory. It’s been a miracle, honestly, that he’s improved so much! I credit Kevin with a lot of his improvement. He’s been going over to their house at least twice a day to help him maneuver getting around. He’s such a good man!

November 18:

I didn’t think this week was ever going to be over! We were finally assigned groups late yesterday and as I suspected, I’m part of the Urgent Action Team (UAT). This team was alluded to when I was interviewed and I was told they were likely going to be put me on that team. This team will be responsible for working diagnostic requests within 48 hours, stat or urgents. I’m looking forward to getting my hands dirty. It sounds like it might be a bit stressful, given the time crunch, but I’m up for it. I work better when I’m under a deadline. Finally! I have a work home. I don’t like being in limbo and I certainly don’t like not having any direction. It’s very annoying. Mom came over today and we watched a few Survivor episodes and ate lunch. She brought over McDonald’s McRibs for us. I haven’t had McDonald’s, let alone a McRib, in forever and it was good! Messy, but good. We were getting our crafts out to start working when Brandon walked in followed shortly by my nephew and his wife. We were surprised! They were in town for a convention and decided to drop by and say hello. It was good timing that mom was there, too. They stuck around and we all went to dinner for Blake and Kevin’s birthdays at Whole Hog Cafe, (BBQ place). They wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my mom and since we had already planned on her coming to our house for Thanksgiving we just invited them to come over as well. I heard from my sister, she and her husband are coming over, too, so we reached out to my other nephew and invited him as well. We are planning on having about 12 people over for Thanksgiving. We’ll put our extra sleeve into our dining room table and we should have enough room for everyone to sit around the table. We’ll work it out. We’ve already bought our food and mom is bringing over a lasagna just to make sure we don’t run out since we had only planned on having 8 people at first and now we’re up to 12. That’s okay, though, we’ll make it work. Our heater is acting funky, again. We have so many problems with our heater. It’s a design flaw, or a flaw designed to need constant maintenance, however you want to look at it, so we called our service people to come out on Monday to take a look at it. The condensation builds up then starts dripping right on the flame so it starts popping and clanging as the flame struggles to stay on. Awesome. It’s always something, isn’t it.

November 20:

I contacted my lead today to ask how I go about starting to work requests with my UAT group … and I was told that the people that are currently doing UAT will continue doing UAT until February and that I needed to, in essence, continue mooching off other people’s work until that time. I wanted to cry!! This seems like such a waste of resources! And I feel guilty for basically doing nothing and getting paid for it! This goes against every fiber of my being and I pray that I’m able to keep busy with SOMETHING until they’re ready for me to help take over the group. Wow. This is unacceptable and I’m pissed!

November 22:

I’m stealing. I can’t help it, I need to practice cases and I haven’t been assigned anything specific so … I have to steal to practice. I hate to mooch off people’s folders/cases but … what choice do I have? I’ve been doing a lot of ECHO requests – echocardiograms to be specific. I feel like there have been a lot more requests for ECHOS lately, but what do I know, I’m a newbie I wonder if this is normal or if people are having more heart issues because of the experimental vaccine that was forced on people. I’m sure we’ll never know. Or talk about it, for that matter. At any rate, I’m compiling my resources and watching the UAT’s folder and how they are processing things so .. I feel like I’m getting a base knowledge by just watching. Hopefully, we have a meeting next week and I’ll be able to do … SOMETHING. I’m itching to get started. Management sent out a notice yesterday sort of summarizing what our group will be tasked with and it sounds like they want someone to work the late shift – like a 2:00 PM to a 9:00 PM shift. BUT, that person gets an extra $1.35 an hour if she agrees to it. I’m tempted though it wouldn’t be my first choice. I’m keeping an open mind. I’m just going to have to be flexible, both getting started and when I’m elbows deep in the job. Brandon called me last night. His car broke down on the way back home after work. He said he heard a POP and then a light came on that said to shut off his engine immediately. AAA towed him back home and now we have to figure out what is wrong, how much it will cost and how long it will take. Kevin met Brandon when it broke down and when Brandon turned on the engine to back onto the tow trailer, he said it didn’t sound good. Awesome. More trouble. BUT, at least it didn’t break down on the highway, (he was in town), and he wasn’t hurt – it could always be worse, right?

November 26:

Thanksgiving was great! PERFECT weather – sunny and 60’s. Kevin had cooked the turkey the day before Thanksgiving and had it cut up and ready to go so all we had to do was put it in the oven and warm it up. I made the rolls the day before and put them in plastic bags to keep them fresh so that worked out well. The only thing we cooked on Thanksgiving were the potatoes and corn, (put them each into a crockpot), green bean casserole, ham, (Kevin cut it up, poured a brown sugar glaze on top and put it into the oven for about an hour and a half, stuffing and gravy. Mom came over at 10:30 and helped us finish getting ready. She also baked two pumpkin pies, an apple pie, some cupcakes and some cute “drum sticks” made of pretzels, caramel and dipped in chocolate. Then my sister and BIL came over at about 11:00 and honestly, we were ready to eat by then. But we told the boys and my nephew’s family to come over at 12:00 so we sat around and chit-chatted until noon. My nephew’s family still hadn’t arrived so we went ahead and started eating – they arrived about 12:15. The food turned out great, Kevin is SUCH a good cook, (I’m the clean-up party), and had some good conversations. My sister and BIL left about 2:00 so they could get home before dark and my nephew’s family left about two hours later. Everyone left with A LOT of leftovers. It was SO NICE to have my sister and BIL come! It was a good day. We missed dad. I know the day was hard on my mom – this is her first holiday season without dad. It’s hard dealing with a gaping hole in our family. I drove Brandon to work on Friday since I didn’t have to work. All four of us went grocery shopping after he got off work. We usually go out to eat and then grocery shopping on Friday nights and since Brandon didn’t have a car, he wanted to tag along and his shopping done and I couldn’t NOT tell Blake in case he wanted to do, which he did, so that was fun. We ate at HyVee – we had Chinese food. It was pretty good and the price wasn’t bad. Kevin and Brandon went to pick up his car yesterday. It seems to be running okay but the check engine light has been coming on and it seems like Brandon’s battery is weak. But it’s running and that’s better than buying a new car right now! Brandon did say that he felt like it had a lot more power than before. The mechanic replaced the oil pump, (which is what broke), the water pump, (which wasn’t too bad – he showed the parts to Kevin), and the timing chain. Hopefully, Brandon won’t have any more issues with the car for several years. But Kevin and Brandon are going to O’Reilly’s today to have the battery checked out. If it’s weak, they will have them replace it. Brandon’s old battery was replaced by AAA and though AAA is a GREAT service and has saved our butts several times, we do wonder how “new” the batteries are they use whenever they replace them. We’ve had our batteries wear out faster when we relied on them to replace them. So, when it’s all said and done, Brandon will have spent about $2,200 dollars to get his car fixed. Which – ouch. But it’s still better than buying a new car. Kevin checked on Craig’s List and Brandon’s car, which is a 2012 Chevy Cruise, was going for $8,500. Brandon paid $7,000 for his car five years ago so it’s MORE expensive now than when he bought it! Bidenomics!

November 27:

Took advantage of some Black Friday sales – online, of course. There is NO WAY I’m dealing with crazy, stressed-out people right now. Stressing a bit that I can’t think if anything for the boys this year. Blake needs jeans, so I bought him some jeans, but Brandon can’t give me any ideas. We filled up a wallet with gift cards for them last year. And Brandon used nearly all of his, Blake used the Shoe Carnival and Amazon gift cards but has hardly touched the food gift cards. Which is annoying because he was the sole reason I bought them gift cards to food places – because he doesn’t eat! lol Bought something for my mom, but since mom reads my blog … will just have to keep that to myself for now. *wink* I’m so bored with my job. I literally have nothing to do. I am literally stealing from my co-workers just to give me a few things to work on. I feel terrible but I can’t do nothing! Plus, I need the practice. I’ve been watching the UAT (Urgent Action Team) folder where all of the urgent/stat requests get sent to watch how they process things and I’ve learned a lot from doing that but you don’t truly know how to do something until you do it. I just need to relax and enjoy this down time because when the current UAT’s contract runs out and everything shifts over to my team, I will be crazy busy keeping on top of things. Which I prefer, I like staying busy.

November 29:

I’ve been covering another girl from the MRI group while she’s been out and I have to tell you – I’M LOVING THIS! I’ve already completed four requests this morning, all of them were approved, thank you very much, and I’m feeling alert and productive. Unfortunately, she comes back tomorrow so I’ll have to give her group back to her but this was just the confidence boost I needed. I can’t wait till I have my own work! Made a trip to the hospital today. I go to the hospital every Wednesday because one of the cafes sells large baking potatoes with all the trimmings and I CRAVE them sometimes. I went up to get my potato today and stopped by my old office. It was so good to see the girls again but you know how it is, it’s different. Almost awkward, because I’m not part of their world anymore. I popped in to see Emily – that was bitter sweet. I hope she’s not mad at me for leaving. She’s really not like that, she’s one of the most gracious people I know but … I felt guilty. Though it was really nice to see the girls again, I think that might have been my last physical trip up there. I’m still on Teams and I’m sure we’ll talk there but … I just have to accept that that chapter in my life is closed. It’s sad but … here’s to looking at new challenges! Leroy mulched our Fall leaves today. We have four massive Maple trees in our yard so you can imagine the leaves. We don’t rake the leaves, we mulch them making good fertilizer for next year’s grass. People that rake their leaves … WHY??

November 30:

November is over. Wow. Why?? Stole more work to do today. The girl I was covering was back so I’m left with crumbs. I’ve been stealing urgent requests, though. I figure I need to practice on those the most since I will be part of the team that takes them over soon-ish. My Team lead sent out an invitation to a meeting next Thursday so hopefully, we can iron out the timeline a bit more so I’m not left wondering – IS THIS ALL YA GOT?? It went well, though. I’ve been learning to troubleshoot, which is frustrating, but necessary. Especially since I will be working fast – I need to be as efficient as I can be. My goal is not to call insurance companies very often – that is a drag, and a time suck. I signed up for Bath and Body Works Rewards, (thanks mom). And … I’m in trouble! lol My mom has been telling me for a while now that they have pretty good deals on their Rewards program and I’ve just rolled my eyes, but I stand corrected. I ordered some yummy smelling hand soap to put in the bathrooms so our Christmas guests will be suitably impressed and I saved about $7 in shipping by setting it up so I can pick it up from our nearby store. Sweet! It rained today. A soft, slow rain all day. It was a perfect day for a pot pie lunch and to work from home. I’m still on the fence on whether working from home was a good gig for me, but today? Definitely a perk.

Thanks for reading!

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

October 1:

Trying to recover from our trip to Florida. That was a lot of driving. But that’s always how it works with me. It takes me a few days after coming off my adrenaline high to fully recover from stuff like this. I did go for a walk at the school, though. Not sure if that was a good or bad thing – I was pretty wiped out the rest of the day. But I got my 10,000 steps in today so I’m choosing to focus on the good. I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping on top of my walking – we’ll see how long I can go before getting burned out. Finished my typical chores – laundry, bathrooms, floors. Listened to the World Jigsaw Puzzling Championship on my phone while I worked on my latest diamond painting. (Harry Potter).

October 2:

The day has arrived. Do I turn in my resignation or do I continue doing what I’m comfortable and confident doing? I’ve had a week to mull it over … and over … and over… I finally threw my hands up and cried uncle – I turned it in to my manager. Quite frankly, I’m sick of thinking about it. I am spending more time and energy thinking of reasons why I SHOULD’T do it as opposed to why I should and I think that’s my answer right there. As mom said, if I don’t try it I will probably kick myself later for it. And it’s not a permanent solution – if I hate it, then I’ll find something else. It’s time for a change. I just “celebrated”, (I use that term loosely), my 12th year with this clinic, I think it’s time for a change. You can read more about today here. All I can say is that now that it’s done, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders and I feel … light. That’s got to be a good sign, right??

October 3:

The dynamic is already shifting. Conversations are being held in front of me without including me. It’s weird and sad. Though, of course, I totally get it. My co-workers have to come up with a plan on how to fill the (substantial – ha!) hole I will be creating when I leave. My manager has already posted my position, which he should, but still … weird and sad. Another one of my co-workers came up because she heard a rumor to ask if it was true. I told her it was true, I’m leaving. Though she says she won’t say anything, come on, OF COURSE she’s going to say something. I have yet to send out notice to the clinic. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Sending out a notice feels so FINAL. And I’m nervous about this new job falling through though I’ve got emails and I’ve signed documents to make it happen, it just doesn’t FEEL real yet. I can already feel myself pulling away, not being as committed to my job as I once was. We’re in this awkward stage now and I just want it to be over, quite frankly. Ten more days to go!

October 4:

Walked in to new phones today. It was absolute chaos trying to figure them out. And then the voicemail didn’t work so we’re scrambling to get help from the tech people to fix that aspect of it. Overall, I like the new phones. We have the ability to silence the rings and the ring itself is a lot less obnoxious. Picked up my computer equipment for my new job today. I picked up two monitors, the computer, a headset, a webcam, mouse … now I have to clean off my very messy desk to make room for all of this! But this is the first time I feel like this new job change is going to happen … not sure how I feel about it, quite honestly.

October 5:

I can feel myself checking out. I sent out a notice that I was leaving so now everyone knows. Now that everyone knows, I’m ready to MOVE ON. They have a replacement already lined up and she will hang out with us next week. I’m trying really hard not to mentally tap out but it’s getting harder and harder to stay present and just … care, I guess. Thank goodness we are going to Arkansas next weekend. Eat up more time before I can leave and start my new adventure. Cleaned off my desk tonight. It was a disaster but now we can plan on how to set up my new equipment.

October 7:

Met mom at the craft fair today. I arrived at Noon but didn’t actually get to mom until 12:45. The placed was PACKED. Absolutely no place to park so I ended up parking about 1/2 mile away and walking back to the event. It’s been a BEAUTIFUL weekend though so it was a nice walk, to be honest. Temps were cool enough for a jacket and not a cloud in the sky. I can see why so many people showed up. I took mom Chick-Fil-A for lunch and we gobbled it down in between customers. My mom has made BANK on her booth and is nearly sold out of merchandise. My mom doesn’t do craft fairs for the money, though making her money back on supplies is good, but she truly loves crafting and gets a lot of enjoyment out of it so she would make her crafts regardless of whether she could sell it – she would just end up giving it away. I was amazed at the number of people that remember her from years past and mom told me she’s been doing that particular craft fair since 2012. What?!? I had no idea. And that makes me feel guilty that I didn’t know that about my own mother. Where have I been?! I sat with her the rest of the afternoon and left at 4:30, (she took a quick pee break and I was scared someone would want to buy something while she was gone. And not because I couldn’t handle it, of course I can handle it, but I would have to be ON, have to put on public persona, which doesn’t come naturally but it’s something I can, and do, every day. I just wasn’t in the mood to put it on that day. Mom is in her element though and she LOVES people, she’s extroverted, and she truly loves doing the craft shows and really, that’s all that matters.

October 8:

Got my Sunday chores done and then headed up to the craft show to sit with mom. Once the show closed at 4:00, I helped her pack things up in her truck and we had everything broken down and packed by 5:00 PM. Hopefully, she won’t try and unload her truck tonight and get some rest. She didn’t sleep very good last night so I know she must be exhausted. She made a lot of money, even more than last year, so she was pretty happy with that. Customers really seemed to like her crafts – and why wouldn’t they? She makes some really cute stuff. She went ahead and signed up for next year’s craft show, too. She has been doing this craft show for so long that she knows a few people and I cringed when they said they were signing up but who knows if they would actually be alive to participate next year. I know what they are saying is factually correct, no one knows if they will live to see tomorrow, but still, it made me uncomfortable and sad. Kevin wasn’t here when I got home – he is over at his folks’ house. His parents have been sick and his dad hasn’t been eating. Kevin said he was unresponsive at one point and his blood sugars are high. He hasn’t eaten much in the past few days due to being sick and that is likely the reason his blood sugars are up. I don’t know what they are going to do but they may have to take him to the hospital if they can’t get him to eat anything. Worried.

October 9:

Today is my parents’ anniversary. Mom is very sad and that’s all I’ll say about that. I gave up my desk and my keys today. The new girl has a new desk now and I’ve been delegated to the corner. I feel so … disjointed and displaced. I have six more days to go before my last day and honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll be training the new girl, of course, but I’ve sent out emails asking people to redirect where they send messages so I can hopefully leave with nothing on my desktop. I feel sad but mostly, I’m just ready to move on. Now that I’ve made the decision, I’m anxious to move forward. Kevin’s dad went to a holistic doctor today and received fluids, vitamins, antibiotics, and Ivermectin. Hopefully, that will make him feel better; I’m sure his body is thanking him right about now.

October 11:

Kevin’s dad is not doing well. He is refusing to eat/drink and his blood sugar is 300. It’s not looking good. Kevin and his sister decided that they needed to take him to the ER so they called an ambulance. I met Kevin near the cafeteria since he couldn’t find a parking spot and showed him where the ER was. I didn’t stay, Kevin’s dad could only have two visitors at a time, but they did all sorts of tests on him and they think he might have had a stroke. They are admitting him and will give him fluids and some antibiotics to try and help him get over COVID. We’ll likely know more tomorrow. We canceled our camping trip.

October 15:

Kevin’s dad is still in the hospital. They’ve done an EEG, an MRI and a lumbar puncture (LP). The EEG came back abnormal but the report said that it was most likely due to the fact that he hasn’t eaten for nearly a week. The MRI also came back pretty normal, given his age, and it confirmed that he had not had a stroke, which is what everyone was thinking. The LP results have not come back yet, he had that test late yesterday so we’re still waiting to hear what that shows. Kevin’s dad has been very stubborn and has fought hospital staff every step of this way. We’re not sure if he’s trying to tell everyone that he doesn’t want to be there, (who WANTS to be in the hospital), or if he’s not aware he’s even being combative. He’s still non-verbal though he seems a bit more cognizant than he was when they admitted him. He continues to rip out his IV”s so they have had to put mittens on him to prevent him from doing that. Not ideal, but they can’t help him if he doesn’t allow them to help him. Kevin has been picking his mother up at at 7:00 AM and taking her up to the hospital. He’s been up there with her all day for the past two days. His dad seems to really respond to Kevin and he’s been able to help his dad eat a few bites. His blood sugars have come back down, which is a good sign. His dad is not mobile and hasn’t left his bed in about a week so if/when he gets up, he is going to be very weak. My biggest concern at this stage is what they are going to decide to do with him once he’s discharged. His mother is not physically capable of taking care of him by herself.

October 16:

Been home all day. We were supposed to be in Arkansas looking for diamonds but we canceled the trip due to Kevin’s dad. I checked my work email and the Teams messages – I’m looking forward to being taken off these lists. I’m so ready to move on. I worked on my office today, organizing things and getting a game plan for my new work shift. I plan on walking 3000 steps before I start the day, then walking to about 8000 at lunch. My goal is to get 10,000 steps each work day. Kevin’s dad’s health has gone backwards. They did another brain scan on him and he wasn’t cooperating so they gave him an antipsychotic to help him relax, I suppose, and Kevin said he was talking gibberish today. They told the hospital staff that he’s not to have any more medication. I just don’t understand why healthcare goes from zero to 90 in seconds flat. As opposed to giving Kevin’s dad a sedative to get him through the procedure, they jump right to a powerful antipsychotic drug. Disappointing and scary. It also proves that if you have a loved one in the hospital, they need someone to look after them. You can’t fully trust the staff to keep things straight. I hate to say it, but it’s true.

October 18:

Good news! Kevin’s dad is awake and responding! He’s not able to talk very clearly, but he’s aware of what is going on around him and he’s asking for milk. An Occupational Therapist got him to sit up and stand up a few seconds today so we’re making progress! Kevin and his sisters agonized over whether to place a feeding tube as he’s still not getting much nutrition and they placed that today. They had to wrap Kevin’s dad’s hands into “mittens” so he wouldn’t yank it out, but we’ll see how he responds to that in a few days. They are looking for nursing facilities to take him as Kevin’s mom simply can’t take care of him by herself. This is the first ray of hope we’ve had in a week. I went to see him after work today and his color looks better. He’s back on his regular medication as we think that may have been one reason he went downhill so fast – there is a certain medication that you have to wean off, you can’t stop cold turkey, and when he got sick and stopped eating and taking his medications, we’re thinking now that threw him into a spiral because he was going through withdrawals. The family is hopeful and we’ll see how this shakes out in the next week. I’m bored out of my mind. Today was my first day back after my “vacation”, (we had to cancel due to Kevin’s dad), and I got a taste of what it will be like – and I’m READY. I have three more days of being an MA and then I can move on to my new job. I’m practically itching to get out. I’m not even sad – I’m just READY.

October 19:

Heard from my supervisor today. I’m going into the office Monday and will train with a team lead. Since I’m already familiar with getting around the programs, we’re going to reassess and see if I can start working from home on Tuesday – it really depends on how it goes Monday. They are going to assign me to a new group they haven’t even revealed to anyone yet – some sort of Urgent Team – and I’m really excited about that. I THRIVE on multitasking – it challenges my brain and I’m really good at it. Until this group gets up and running, I will be working on getting MRI’s approved. So. This tells me that I need to get all of my ducks in a row and make sure I have all of my resources at my fingertips because if I’m going to be called upon to work urgent cases, I’ll need to move fast. I am so excited to start!! I feel like Emily has been cranky. I think part of it is because I’m leaving, or perhaps I’m just telling myself that because it makes me feel important. I’m trying not to be too excited to leave around my co-workers but they all know that I’M READY. Looking seriously at the Kindle Vella project again. I think I might turn my focus on writing for that project and see what happens. I’m not doing it for the money but rather, I’m curious to see how people would react to my creative writing. More on that soon .. I hope. Depends on how much time this new job really takes.

October 20:

Today marks the end of an era. Today was my last day with the neurosurgery clinic. It was uneventful, which was perfect. I didn’t want any sort of going away party or any sort of attention, really. I said my goodbyes to the people I worked with on the 7th floor for the majority of my career and with that duty done, I could focus on the gals I’ve gotten close to this past year. I’m going to miss them. They are good people and I’ve gotten close to Melissa and Emily this past year. The new girl, my replacement, who is awesome and I think will do a good job, made some soup and someone else brought in Buffalo dip and a veggie tray. We all had lunch together and then we had cookie cake. The rest of the day, I completed some loose ends, packed up the rest of my stuff and then I left about an hour early. Walking my route back to my car was .. surreal. It was the last time I would walk that route. I will never be back in the clinic setting. Heck, I never wanted to be in a clinical setting to begin with so I think doing this job for 12 years was enough. I was sad, but mostly excited. I’m ready to move on. It’s funny, but if I hadn’t applied for this new job I would still be happy to continue doing what I was doing. But now that I made the jump, I’m wondering why I didn’t make the jump sooner. It just goes to show that you can get some caught up in a rut that you don’t allow yourself to see what is on the other side of that rut. I go into the office on Monday to be shown the ropes but my supervisor seems to think I should be able to start working from home on Tuesday so I’m assuming that means there isn’t a whole lot of new that I need to learn. I’m feeling nervous, excited and relieved, quite frankly, that I don’t have to deal with patients anymore. It’s exhausting.

October 22:

Mom came over on Saturday. We grabbed some lunch at McAllister’s and came back to my house and watched a few episodes of Survivor – we’re on season three and THANK GOD Lindsay was voted off. Sniffling brat. Then we chatted and caught up on what happened the past two weeks, (we haven’t seen each other for a few weeks), and worked on crafts. I worked on yet another diamond painting, (I’ve been obsessed – it’s so relaxing!) and mom worked on some cute plastic canvas snowmen that she will put a fake votive candle in and sell at her Christmas booth in December. Once she left, Kevin’s dad’s progress went downhill fast. He started hallucinating, took his clothes off and fought the nurses. He had to have a sitter the rest of the night and the next day because he couldn’t be trusted to be by himself. They ended up putting a PICC line in because he ripped out yet another IV and he simply didn’t have any veins left to tap into. He is also still wearing mittens. The family is honestly not sure what to do with him and this just proved that he can’t be trusted to go home and under the care of Kevin’s mom as now we can’t trust him not to hurt her. He wouldn’t do it on purpose but unfortunately, his mental clarity is, well, not clear. The doctors want to keep him on the feeding tube a few more days, he’s still not eating unless someone makes him, and if he doesn’t improve, they will likely put a PEG tube in and discharge him to a nursing facility. This whole thing has been a nightmare for the family an there are no clear-cut answers to what to do next. Kevin’s dad has moments of clarity and he’s talking, though it’s hard to understand the gibberish, but he seems to know what is happening though he doesn’t seem to know that he’s in the hospital, or he’s simply in denial, again, we just can’t tell. The family is exhausted and a decision will have to be made soon.

October 24:

First two days of my new job are done. I went into the office yesterday and as to be expected, it was super awkward because I didn’t know anything nor anyone. It’s so disconcerting to go from a job that you know everything to a job where you know nothing. Though, that’s not entirely true – I did a bit of this job when I first became a scheduler so I know the basics. And it helps that I know the system and quite a bit about insurances. The girl that is training me is very nice but is so slow. Maybe she’s going slow because she doesn’t want to overwhelm me, (not going to happen at this point) or maybe she’s just a slow thinker/talker, but I was pretty bored my first day. But to be fair, training is boring for all parties – I’m sure she was just as bored. To make matters worse, I pulled a muscle in my back, (who knows), so I was quite uncomfortable all day and since we sat all day, I was QUITE uncomfortable all day. But the pain kept me awake, so there’s that. I spent the day setting up accounts with various insurance companies and learning work flow. Today, I got to stay home and my trainer showed me the ropes on Microsoft Teams. It was AWESOME to stay home and do that. We started at 7:00 and quit at 3:30. We’re doing that again, tomorrow. I would like to go ahead and do a few of the precertification requests and she watch me because I feel like I’m ready, but I don’t know what else they have planned for me so I’ll be a good girl and keep my mouth shut. But I’m READY.

October 28:

What a week. It went well and I’m already working on some precertification cases on my own, which I think is pretty good four days in to my training, but it was an intense week of concentrating and focusing on the process. Let’s be honest, most people do not know how to train other people. Trainers assume, unconsciously, that you know what terms are, that you know what type of work you’ve been hired to do … to see the roadmap to a work conclusion. And I can assure you, new people do NOT see, nor think, that way. I would like to think I’m a good trainer: introducing the basics and explaining the WHYS behind the things we do, but most people do not approach training that way so it’s a race to find patterns and to figure things out for yourself. Reading the fine print and in between the lines. So, it was a mentally taxing week and I was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep last night. But I’m making progress. I’m a little nervous about next week because my trainer is taking some days off and I’m basically on my own. Sure, I have a person to go with questions, but let’s be honest, this go-to person most likely does not have desire, nor the inclination, to really go in depth with me so once again, I will be reading the fine print and in between the lines. That’s okay, I’m a fast learner. But it was fun to work from home and I think I’m going to enjoy it, but I was already getting cabin fever by Wednesday. I’ll write more about my work-from-home experience at some point. My father-in-law (FIL) is home and comfortable. They moved a hospital bed into his bedroom and they set up Hospice to come out a few times a week to bathe him and help make him comfortable. The boys and I met my husband over at his house last night for pizza and it was a great visit. My FIL really perked up and actually ate more than he’s eaten in the past two weeks, COMBINED. Going through this experience is humbling and really makes you think about mortality in general.

October 31:

Happy Halloween! Bah humbug. I am neutral when it comes to Halloween though I lean more on the side of, “WHY??” A night to dress up like an idiot and scare people? I’m out. We won’t be turning our porch light on tonight – we haven’t participated in Halloween in years and the last time I dressed up was when I was in clinic with my doctor, at the time, and I was peer pressured into participating. Okay, that’s a bit harsh, I actually had fun but unless I’m MADE to participate, I’m not interested in Halloween. My trainer has been out this week so it’s just been me, myself and I. She gave me plenty to do and I’ve actually been pretty successful in getting some diagnostic testing approved. It’s slow going, but I’m getting the hang of it and I’m already bored. HA! It will be the same thing, over and over again, but it is interesting to do a little research, get some medical background so that I can submit the request through the patient’s insurance company. I’m working on getting MRI’s approved, for now. I think they started me on the easiest group, to cut my teeth on the process, so to speak, so we’ll see what group they finally assign me. I’m hoping to have a more permanent home and a team of people by the end of this week or next week. FIL has been sitting up and eating a bit. Still not like he needs to and he has moments where he hallucinates and calls people by the wrong name, but he’s home, comfortable and things are starting to settle down for Kevin’s family. They have Hospice come out a few times a week to monitor him and clean him up a bit. I do worry about my MIL, though, as she’s really not getting any sleep and I think it’s making her delirious.

And that, folks, was my October.

Tell me what’s going on in your life?

Thanks for reading!

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

August 1: I think I’m finally starting to get a handle on this new (ish) job. It was rough going at first, being thrown into the lion’s den and trying to sort through, organize and then come up with a system to keep track of everything. But I think I’m getting there. I’m not bored with this job, not sure that will ever be a problem since I’m E’s liaison between patients and other co-workers, but I’m definitely becoming more comfortable with the job itself and being around E. She is brainstorming to re-work/organize the clinic with the new girl starting soon. I’m very, VERY grateful she’s so organized and efficient as I think working with someone who is more seat-of-my-pants sort of person would be very hard for me. I’m not OCD, per se, but I definitely work better when there is a process. I bet it’s sort of fun for E to see her clinic expand and grow. She wants to eventually see 14 people per clinic day, which roughly works out to be about 55 to 60 patients per week that all three of us (when the new girl starts) will handle. That’s a lot. But our clinic is set up for the short term – E determines whether the patients we see are surgical or not and if they are, we schedule them with a surgeon, if they are not, then we refer them to non-operative doctors for further treatment options. We do end up seeing quite a few patients at least twice though to discuss how physical therapy or an injection went, so it’s not like a one and done sort of deal. She does a lot of test results, too. Meaning, if I set patients up for an MRI or CT then she will read the results and offer her recommendations and I will then call the patients and go through that with them and carry out E’s recommendations. That means I have a lot of phone work, which I detest, but it’s part of the job. Talking about this with her makes my chest tight because that’s a lot of pressure on me, but I can handle it. Pretty sure I had an anxiety attack today, though. Not fun.

August 2: Felt much better today. According to my Garmin Tracker, my heart rate got down to 61 last night. That might be a new record. In fact, my resting heart rate now stays in the mid-to-low 60’s. This is unusual for me because my resting heart rate rarely got below 75 in the past. What changed? Two things: I’ve gone through the change (menopause) and I do intermittent fasting (IF) every day. Yes. I’m still doing that. I eat between 1:00 PM and 6:00 PM every day. (Though honestly, if I really wanted to amp things up, I could shorten that window but I’m not disciplined enough or motivated enough to do that right now). Every since I started IF I’ve been feeling better and my labs certainly show it. The last time I had labs done, all of my numbers came back where they needed to be – so I must be doing something right. We only have Sarah for one more day before she has to go back to take care of her doctor. I’m going to miss her. She’s phenomenal. I wish we could keep her. The president of our clinic came up today and gave us kudos for jobs well done. She says she’s been hearing good things about our clinic from other doctors and the ER (we get a lot of patients from the ER). That was really good to hear. I think E was very pleased.

August 3: Days are blending together – I frequently forget what day of the week it is. Since we have clinic every day, it’s hard to keep them straight. When I worked with Dr. M., who only had clinic twice a week, (he was in surgery the rest of the week), it was easy to keep track of my days – clinic days and off clinic days. But now that we see patients every day, I struggle to remember what day it is. It’s sort of embarrassing, to be honest. I’m getting a small taste of what it must be like to work in a primary care physician’s office. Though you couldn’t PAY me enough to work in a PCP’s office. (Kudos to those of you that do).

August 4: We had a goodbye lunch with Sarah today. I’m actually going to miss her. I don’t really like a lot of people, but I really liked her. And I like E. She’s pretty great. I’m very blessed to be working with her. We get along so well. Blake rear-ended someone today. It was just a tap, thank God, no one was hurt, but still, I think it woke him up a bit. Unfortunately, it takes things like this to wake people up. Not that he doesn’t take driving seriously, but you take it MORE seriously when something like this happens. It didn’t really do a lot of damage to his car, just scratched it up. But that poor guy – he had someone scratch his car in the apartment parking lot, someone broke in to his car but luckily he didn’t have anything valuable in it so they didn’t take anything and now this. He loves that car, too. I’m just thankful no one was hurt. It doesn’t matter how old your kids get or how long they’ve been driving, they are still your children.

August 5: We bought black out curtains for the trailer. They are way too long but oh well.

August 6: Cut my hair shorter. I had asked for a lighter color last time and all it did was pull out too much red, which I hated, so I asked her to go darker this time. I’m thinking of getting highlights but probably not until next summer. It already costs so much to get my hair done, I shudder to think how much highlights will cost on top of cover my gray and trim cost.  Though my stylist does a good job, I hate how she styles my hair. And she puts all of this product in that does nothing but weigh it down and it feels and looks greasy. I always hate my hair when I leave the stylist. I should just ask her not to dry/style it next time. (Would that be cheaper? Hmm). And I’m too stubborn to wash my hair for a few days after getting it done because I’m afraid I’ll wash some of  the color out, so I look like a drowned rat for a few days. Pretty sure this is the opposite result of what you expect when you go to the salon but … been thinking a lot about the flu vaccine mandate coming up. I’ll be so glad when that issue is resolved however it turns out. (Pst – you can read this to find out how that turned out).

August 7: I woke up upset. I dreamt I couldn’t find my car and I was late to work and crying. I honestly fear getting older and losing my mind. I never want to live like that. I hate my hair but I’m glad it’s shorter. I’m clearly conflicted. I’m thinking of going shorter in November, (when I go to the salon again – I only go every 12 weeks because I’m too cheap to pay more often than that). I’m just thankful I still have hair, I suppose. Dear God I pray I still have my hair and my mind when I get older. It’s all about priorities.

August 8: I have mixed feelings about this job. I love it, but I get lonely. Now that I’m on a different floor than the rest of my co-workers, I get forgotten. And I get it. When I was on the 7th floor I completely forgot about the people on the 9th floor, too. Now, I’m one of those people that are being forgotten. We are kicking ass though, E and I. Our new girl starts next week. But I’m worried. Our patient load has decreased substantially. Our first new patient spot was three weeks out, now it’s tomorrow. I’m not sure what changed. We did have a new doctor start so I suppose that’s a big part of it, but E thinks there is something more going on and she’s looking into it. I’m just worried that our patient load will drop down and management won’t be able to justify the new girl coming in or even keeping our clinic open. I really like what I’m doing up here and I believe in what we’re doing – getting patients to doctors that can help them faster. (What patient can’t relate to feeling frustrated and tossed around from one provider to another). But if we don’t have the volume, then management will have to make some decisions. A lot of people have been leaving healthcare, too. I don’t blame them, healthcare has gotten a really bad wrap these past few years and it’s almost become toxic now. Which is a shame, honestly.

August 10: E brought in an $8 watermelon today. She bought it at a farmer’s market. It was a very good watermelon, but I’m not sure it was $8 great. EIGHT dollars for a watermelon?! No wonder people don’t want to eat healthy, it’s freaking expensive. Reached out to T, my old nurse. She’s loving being a school nurse – I bet the kids love her. I’m SOOO happy for her. Life is too short to be miserable.

August 11: E. is restructuring her clinic cheat sheets. We use these sheets to gather information for the providers. All of the doctors have cheat sheets though they vary from doctor-to-doctor. Now that I’m here, (that makes me sound so important), and the new girl is coming, she’s an LPN and will already have the basics down, E is starting to feel a bit more confident in her staff. So, she wants us to get more information from the patients when we room them so she has more information before going into the room and can focus more on the diagnosis and the plan as opposed to getting the information. It’s an art to communicate with patients. You want to get the information you need without rushing the patient and at the same time keep them on track so that you’re not in the room for 30 minutes. The goal is not to be in the room for more than 10 minutes and even that’s a bit too long. But we have to keep the pace going because there are other patients waiting, not to mention your provider is waiting on you so he/she can do his/her part. That’s why we always seem to be in a hurry when you go to the doctors’ office because we are. The MA’s are responsible for maintaining a flow so that we don’t put the provider behind and make other patients wait longer. That’s why it’s important for patients to answer our questions and not veer off into left field about an issue they are not seeing our provider about. I know patients don’t get that, but hopefully this gives you a bit of a glimpse into the healthcare world.

August 12: Kevin and I did our usual Friday night shopping. Groceries are definitely costing more money thanks to the bumbling idiot in the White House and a Democrat-run Congress that continues to spend money on crap we don’t need and can’t afford.

August 13: Woke up to a sinus headache. I haven’t one of those in a while. It’s likely because the weather is changing. I had to take half of a Sudafed. I can’t handle a whole one, it makes my heart race. I ended up sleeping another hour while waiting for it to kick in so my day got a late start but at least it got rid of the headache. If I don’t get those under control, it makes me nauseous and I throw up. Fun. Kevin asked me if I remember when I got my ears pierced, both times. I know, random question. I don’t remember what we were talking about that prompted that question but no, I don’t remember. At all. I have such a terrible memory, which is another reason I NEED to get back to blogging. But I just don’t dwell on the past, I’m always focused on the future. I need to re-train my brain. We bought locks for our trailer cabinets. I’m always afraid we are going to get to our destination and open the trailer door only to see every cabinet open and all of our stuff broken and on the floor.

August 14: I nearly fainted today. I went up to the middle school to use their track to walk and I got too hot. It was 88 degrees today. And the track is all in the sun – no shade at all. And I’m a dummy and didn’t take any water. About an hour into my walk I started feeling woozy and dizzy and had to sit in the shade for a bit. Any time I start to feel dizzy I freak out. I’m traumatized from my Vertigo episode, I guess. Ever since I’ve gone through the change I can’t tolerate heat like I used to. I don’t feel like I sweat as much as I used to, either. I used to sweat so much I would be SOAKED – like I just stepped out of a shower soaked – when I exercised. I get sweaty, but nothing like I used to. Something else I have to readjust to. Still worth not having a period though.

August 15: Getting nervous. I honestly don’t see how Emily is going to be able to run this clinic without me. (Yes. I have a healthy ego, why do you ask?) Sure. Management can rob Peter to pay Paul, (i.e., ask people from the 7th floor to fill in), but she’s really relying more and more on me and she’s getting to the point where she is expanding the clinic and seeing more patients so I’m feeling pressure to do a good job. If the hospital doesn’t approve my exemption, she’ll have to cut her patient load down again and basically start over. Went to Indeed.com today and saw that the law firm that drew up our living will is urgently hiring. Wouldn’t that be something to work for the lawyer that we used for our living will. My parents used them for their will and they weren’t impressed with the staff, probably because they were short staffed. Which I feel like every industry is short staffed right now because no one wants to work – but that’s a topic for another day. Have to re-start the stupid COVID tests soon. I had four months reprieve because I tested positive for COVID in May, (but didn’t even have a sniffle – suuuure), but now it’s time to pay the piper and start back up. Goody.

August 17: M, the new girl, is bored with her training on the 7th floor. They’ve been showing her how to room a patient and because it’s the same process over and over again, she feels like she has that down. I suggested she hang out with me so I can start teaching her our programs and how to schedule so she’ll be with us tomorrow. I really hope I get to continue scheduling patients. I don’t mind rooming patients but I LOVE to schedule. It reminds me of my old scheduling days. I also love to train people. I know. I’m one of THOSE people.

August 20: The boys hung out with us today. We ate at Culverts then had ice cream afterward. We had some good conversations and it warms my heart to get to know the adult version of our children. They are great people. We are very blessed.

August 21: Went for another walk around the track at the middle school today. I was smarter and actually took water and drank water about halfway through my walk. I like to walk about three miles. I really enjoy walking outside.

August 23: Rachelle, (my nephew’s wife), went into labor. I feel like she was one month overdue as there was some question about her actual due date but I’m sure I’m wrong. That’s a long time to be overdue. She had a mid-wife but she had complications during labor and ended up going to the hospital for a C-section. They had a boy! I’m sure my sister-in-law is thrilled as she has eight granddaughters and one grandson. E told me that if the hospital does not approve my flu vaccine exemption then I could work for her husband – he needs an assistant. I thought that was very sweet! We paid my legal secretary course off today! We’ll see if I actually have to use it. I tell you though, it’s nice to have a plan B, not gonna lie.

August 25: Trying to wrap things up at work so that we can drive to Texas tomorrow. Why is it when you are trying to leave work that’s when you get dumped on? So frustrating. I ended up staying at work until 6:00 PM even though I worked like a fiend today to try and get it done before closing. Oh well. Overtime. E is nervous about me leaving. In fact, she ended up moving a few clinics when I’m out. It’s not that she and M can’t handle it, but M is so new – it’s just too much too soon. I totally get that. I had big plans to go grocery shopping, pack and make the beds up in the trailer when I got off work but all I had energy for was to get shop for food. I’ll have to do the rest of it in the morning before we leave. Darn it.

August 26 – 31: Drove the trailer to Galveston Texas! (I’ll post about that vacation soon-ish – ha!)

(My Reflections posts are more stream-of-consciousness kind of posts so I apologize up front if some of what you read doesn’t make sense. But this is me we’re talking about here so … are you really surprised?)

July 1: It was T’s last day – Dr. M and H’s nurse. She got a job as a school nurse and our dream team was officially broken. It was sort of broken when I made the decision to be E’ full-time MA, but now it was truly broken. I went down to talk to her a few times and I cried the last time. I just didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t keep my emotions under control. I truly thought we would all be together for another ten years – I was fully convinced of that. But our crappy management ended up tearing us apart and well… It’s so rare to find people that you enjoy, first of all, and work well together, secondly, that when it breaks up, it just guts you. I’m so glad that we got to do so many fun things together and made some pretty great memories. I turned a lot of our group photos into magnets and the front of our fridge is full of memories. I smile every time I open the fridge. Fun times. It’s so sad that it had to come to an end.

July 2: I was absolutely drained today. Too many emotions from yesterday, I guess. I did manage to take a shower and go tan but that was about it. I feel a little depressed today. It’s been so hot! The grass is crunchy.

July 3: Since Blake has to work tomorrow night, we decided to get together today so Blake could eat with us. Kevin grilled hamburgers and the boys came over. We ended up chatting for a few hours about them moving into the rental house. They have been in this apartment … I want to say five years and they are ready for a change. They are tired of dealing with noisy neighbors and their parking lot situation is awful. If they get home late there are no parking spots and they have to park far away and they’ve both been having problems with people dinging their cars. Blake even had his car broken into but luckily, there wasn’t anything valuable in his car. He forgot to lock it one night. I bet he doesn’t forget to do that again. The rental house doesn’t have a garage but it does have a car port so at least they don’t have to worry about anyone parking too close or breaking in. They seem pretty excited about moving in. Their lease is up in February so we have a ways to go but it was nice to seem them perk up.

July 4: Spent the day purging my thoughts out via my blog and my journal. Yes. I’m still journaling. I haven’t missed a day all year so far. It really helps me clear my mind and give me peace. I highly recommend it. You don’t have to do anything fancy, just get a notebook and start writing. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after writing stuff down. I picked Brandon up and we went to sit at our usual place across the street from the nearby country club to mooch off their fireworks. They weren’t as good this year and didn’t last as long. Probably budget cuts. Who can afford to be a member of a country club in this day and age? Still. It was nice and didn’t cost us anything so win! Kevin used his telescope and looked at the moon. He actually got a few really good pictures with his phone.

Don’t you think it’s weird we haven’t been back to the moon? The technology is far superior to what it was in the 60’s. Why haven’t been back? I have a theory – we never went to begin with.

July 5: Sounds like Dr. M is getting an MA faster than I thought he would. Not sure how I feel about it. Of COURSE he needs a new MA, he can’t go without one forever. But I’m jealous. I feel like she’s stealing my work family. I know it’s silly to feel that way, but I do. I’m supposed to cover for him a few times next week and I’m sure the new girl will be with me those days – I’m withholding judgement until that time. I want her to be a decent MA but I’m not going to lie, I hope she’s not as good as I was. I know it’s selfish to think that, but well, I’m selfish, I guess. Had a patient yell at me today. Can’t even remember why. But here’s the thing with me and patients – I will always give 150%. But I have a line and cross that line, and all bets are off. I no longer care enough to get upset. *shrug* That’s just the way it is.

July 6: Had someone helping with clinic today. It was nice to have someone room the patients giving me time to return phone calls and work on messages and tasks I’ve been putting on the back burner. However, this girl is not the greatest and E won’t be actively trying to recruit her full time. Besides, she’s applying other places so she likely won’t be around much longer anyway. We haven’t really had any applications so I’m anticipating being by myself for a while. I can do it, but the pace is exhausting.

July 8: E. brought me flowers from her garden today as a way to say thank you and they were PERFECT. Even more beautiful than what you would buy in a flower shop. That’s one of many thing I like about E., she’s VERY appreciative and it feels nice to be told that. I know my old team appreciated me and H. and T. were great about showing that, but D. M., well, he’s a man, so what do you expect, but a simple thank you once in a while would have gone a LONG way, you know? E. thanks me every day and though it’s a little embarrassing I would by lying if I didn’t say that it makes me feel good that I’m helping her. She’s going on vacation next week and I think she’s a little nervous. Last time she went on vacation with her old MA she came back to absolute mess which makes me even more determined to make sure I take care of things while she’s gone. It’s so weird not having a nurse to go through like I did with Dr. M., on the 7th floor. Up here, it’s just me and E. I’m the one everyone comes to with questions, (of course, I run these by E., I don’t make decisions without her approval), but it’s both nice and stressful to be in that position. To basically be the spokesperson for our little clinic. It’s a little nerve wracking.

July 9: Holy cow I’m tired. It was one of those days I simply could not summon any energy at all. I could have easily slept all day. I remember days like this before I met Kevin when I was working at Wendys and living by myself. Some days off I would literally sleep all day and then go to bed early and sleep all night. I felt great the next day, though. I think sometimes, my body just shuts down and says, “nope, you’re done.” I think it’s all of the stress I’ve been under lately learning this new clinic and trying to be perfect for E. I have a motto: I never want to the be the reason something didn’t get done or got done incorrectly. Not very realistic but I’m a perfectionist and I give EVERYTHING to my job. I do wonder sometimes, though, if I don’t have a touch of chronic fatigue. Maybe I just need more iron.

July 10: My right arm is killing me. I don’t know if it’s coming from my neck or my shoulder. It hurts between my shoulder and my elbow and reaching behind me is excoriating. I think it might be because I have my right arm up on my desk hovering over my mouse all day – keeping that position can’t be good. I’ll use the heating pad tonight and see if that helps.

July 11: Since E. is out, I worked Dr. J’s clinic today. It was a Telemedicine clinic which is challenging as you have to put your IT hat on and troubleshoot to get people into the virtual room. I also like it because you don’t have to physically deal with people. But working his clinic today really emphasized the stress and general unhappiness on the 7th floor and I’m so grateful that I don’t have to deal with that anymore. It makes me appreciate E that much more. I hope she’s having a good vacation with her family. She deserves from fun. She’s had a rough year.

July 12: Got a text from Dr. M’s medical secretary today – the MA for Dr. S. called in sick and she asked if I could cover the clinic. Of course I said yes. I really like Dr. S. That’s one thing with this job, you have to be flexible and willing to pivot at a moment’s notice.

July 13: Worked Dr. M’s clinic today. I worked it with his new MA. It was weird to work his clinic after so much time away from it. It felt off and weird without T there to spearhead things. The work dynamic felt off. It was cathartic for me, though. It felt like closure. I needed that, I think. I highly doubt I work his clinic again any time soon.

July 14: Dr. M’s new MA was supposed to sit with me so I could go over some specific preferences with her and she came up with a lame excuse to get out of it. It made me so angry that I text H to let her know because I didn’t want her think that I dropped the ball if/when the MA screws up. H wasn’t happy to hear that and management came up to me later and asked me not to do that in the future, to give this new girl a chance. It’s hard to give someone a chance when she’s not interested but whatever, she feels like she knows it all. Fine. Knock yourself out. Speaking of management. Our assistant director sat down with me, (with everyone, not just me), to let me know that our old manager was no longer our manager and she didn’t have any authority to tell us what to do. All management duties were being transferred to him from that point forward. It was great news! This manager was the reason several people, including T, left. It’s too bad they couldn’t have made this change before T put her notice in!

July 15: My teeth are really starting to bother me. *sigh* I can’t put this off much longer. I made an appointment with my dentist. Let’s see how bad my teeth have gotten. It’s always bad news when I go to the dentist. My teeth are terrible.

July 16: Tossing around the idea of doing a book review podcast. Probably won’t happen but it’s fun to think about.

July 17: Watched a productivity video today and the guy said he puts a number in the front of his journal every year. This number is the number of days you have left to live. Sounds morbid but bear with me. He gets this number by taking your age, times 365 and subtracting that number from 32850. The 32850 is the number of days you would live assuming you lived to be 90. Now, not everyone will live to be 90 and a some people will live longer than 90 but it gives you a ball park number of the number of days you have left. This is to impress upon you the importance of living each day to it’s fullest and I have to say, it’s sobering but eye opening.

July 18: E is back from vacation! She told me all about and it sounds like she had an amazing time. She went to Arizona and it really makes me want to go. I really want to go to Montana, Utah, Wyoming and the Dakotas, too. We’ve never been that far north and it’s on my camping list, for sure. We’re supposed to be borrowing an MA from Neurology for the next three weeks. The Neurologist she works for is from India and he’s going back home to see his family so she’ll be free to help us. I hope she’s good. If not, I would rather be by myself, quite frankly.

July 19: Sarah, the girl from Neurology, is AMAZING!! We would LOVE to steal her but alas, she’s pretty attached to her doctor. She was a huge help and the day went smoothly. We had a few fires to put out by the end of the day and E and I stayed late to take care of that, but overall, it was a great day. We had a potential hire come by today and I had to give her the elevator pitch on what we did in our clinic. I hope I sold it. She seemed nice. She’s an LPN. I think that would be a great addition to the clinic but I don’t know if she would this position, it’s really more geared toward an MA rather than an LPN and I would worry that she would get bored with us. I had to push two patients out to their cards in the parking lot today and my shoulder KILLED me. I’m not at the point where I want to go to the doctor about it yet, but GAH, it was painful.

July 20: E. gave me a pouch that she picked up on her vacation – it says “I hate people.” She’s starting to know me! Ha! Brandon came over and surprised me as I was eating dinner. His electric window broke and he had picked up the part and was waiting on Kevin to get home so they could fix it. I’m SO THANKFUL for Kevin. He’s a jack of all trades and it’s so nice that he can fix pretty much anything. It was 102 degrees today and it’s supposed to be 100 the rest of the week. Super hot summer this year!

July 21: Sarah had a scare today. A neighbor called her to tell her her mom was experiencing severe vertigo and asked if she could check in on her when she got off work. I felt so bad for her! Speaking from experience, Vertigo is NOT FUN and it brought back my four days of hell.

July 22: Kevin and LeRoy left for their camping trip. I tried to talk Kevin out of it because it was supposed to be over 100 this weekend. That’s MISERABLE weather to camp in. Trust me.

July 23: Kevin said they lost power at the campsite. Not good on a 100 degree day!! He’s talking about maybe installing some solar panels on the trailer in case this happens in the future. Sounds expensive.

July 25: The hired the LPN and she’s going to work with us! Yay! I’m so excited to have someone permanent in the clinic. I guess I did a pretty good job selling our clinic to her! Ha!

July 29: We spent $120 grocery shopping tonight for virtually NOTHING. Fuck Joe Biden and his “Build Back Better” bullshit. I can’t wait to vote his ass out of office. GRR.

July 30: Went Kevin’s parents’ house. Jeanne made tacos for LeRoy’s birthday. I felt SO BAD when we got there and it was very obvious she was having teeth pain. Her face was swollen and she said had a tooth abscess and here we are, eating the dinner she worked hard to make feeling like crap. Discovered Stationary Pal today and I’m hooked. You can get super cheap stationary items from China. Which makes me feel guilty but did I mention they’re cheap?