Category: Can We Talk?

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Our kids definitely know the difference between needs and wants.

This is not to say that they haven’t learned to fully appreciate what it means to want something and to need something, (they’re rather spoiled, yes, I said it), but they know the difference. And I hope, when that day comes when they have to choose between the newest gadget on the market or say, eating, they 1. can first determine which is more important and 2. end up with full tummies.

Short of sitting our boys down and going through our checkbook with them, they know our financial situation. They don’t know precise numbers (and it’s really none of their business, quite frankly), but they know when money is tight and when it’s not so tight.

Money is tight for us right now.

With Kevin out of work and me staying home to take care of him until he can get back on his feet (though he’s on his feet now and we’re fast approaching that day when he will no longer need me 24/7), neither one of us is working. We’re okay, we have some money in savings, our house is paid for, our cars are paid off, we don’t have a lot of debt, but still, we’re penny pinching.

Though our boys have never been the type of kids to nag, beg, or throw fits if they didn’t get what they wanted, they haven’t really wanted much. As long as they have their games, Internet connection, and Mountain Dew, they’re happy campers. And if a new game comes out and they’re dying for it, they can either A. pay for it themselves with birthday/Christmas money or B. wait until their birthdays and/or Christmas comes around.

We do not give our kids an allowance. If they want something, they can work for it (and by working for it they can either do something around the house that isn’t automatically expected of them, or they can continue to be good students so that if they want something, we’re more apt to say yes), or they can play the waiting game and wait for it.

So, our boys have a pretty good sense of how important money is and when they have it, to spend it wisely. Dude is especially good about this. In fact, I daresay he’s cheap (like his momma). But Jazz … is perhaps not so careful about his money. I can see him impulse buying. In fact, it amuses me whenever Jazz wants something and Dude is all like, “Why do you want that? Why don’t you wait a few more weeks when it’s bound to either go on sale or end up free online somewhere.”

In essence, he talks him off that spending ledge.

All of this to say, YES, I think it’s crucial that parents talk to their kids about the economy. About the importance of spending money wisely, of saving money and staying out of debt, of working hard and finding that balance between enjoying the fruits of their labor and managing their money wisely.

Especially now, in the age of instant gratification and this feeling that they are somehow ENTITLED to life’s little luxuries.

Um … NO.

It’s also important to teach them Economics 101. About how supply and demand work and what happens to prices when that gets out of whack. Or how government CAN be a good thing, as long as they don’t become TOO intrusive and want to take control over nearly every aspects of our lives.

Like now.

Oh yes. The time period we’re living in right now? IS THE PERFECT TIME TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN A THING OR TWO ABOUT OUR ECONOMY.

Just sayin’.

All of these lessons need to be age appropriate, of course, but they need to be taught. If we hope to raise the next generation of fiscally responsible adults, it’s OUR responsibility to teach our children NOW about how the world works and how it can, and will, affect them in the future.

But ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. (*ahem* Are you listening, Mr. President?). We can talk to our kids until we’re blue in the face (or bankrupt), they won’t truly learn the lesson, they won’t take us seriously, until we LIVE what we preach. So, we teach being frugal? Then we spend wisely. We discuss WHY we can’t go out to eat every night. We talk about how we would rather spend the money on, say, swimming for the whole family instead of buying that new Barbie doll. (Not that our boys WANT a Barbie doll, I’m just using a girly example here because I don’t get the chance to use girly examples very often. Hush). We talk about options and test our children by asking them what they think we should do.

We help them manage their own money by “guiding” them to make the right decisions. We trim the fat and instead of paying for high speed Internet, we make due with the slower speeds because it’s cheaper. Or we buy a pay-as-you-go cell phone plan instead of going the iPhone route.

Life is all about making sacrifices and finding YOUR OWN personal balance.

I hope we’ve been successful in teaching our boys that lesson. I’d like to say, yes, we have, but we won’t truly know how we’ve done until they are in a situation where they are required to make their own decisions without us.

I’m rather looking forward to seeing how they do.

There’s no shame in talking to your kids about your financial situation. It’s reality. I wouldn’t scare them, and like I said, keep it age appropriate, but it’s (fiscally) irresponsible to NOT teach our children about the importance of maintaining a healthy economy.

A healthy economy doesn’t just happen. It’s not handed to us. It’s not created for us. WE all have to pitch in and work to make it happen – not just for our benefit, but for the benefit of our children and grandchildren.

Happy Flag Day! Do you know what Flag Day / Week represents?

From whitehouse.gov:

When the Second Continental Congress adopted the American flag on June 14, 1777, the thirteen stripes alternating red and white, and thirteen white stars in a blue field, represented “a new constellation.” On Flag Day, and throughout National Flag Week, we celebrate its lasting luminosity, and the enduring American story that it represents.

Although the configuration of stars and stripes has changed over the years it has been flown, its significance and symbolism have not wavered. The flag that once helped unite a new Nation to confront tyranny and oppression still flies today as an unequivocal emblem of freedom and liberty. The same flag that has been raised on beaches and battlefields still adorns the uniforms of our heroic sons and daughters serving in America’s Armed Forces, including our troops serving in harm’s way in Iraq and Afghanistan.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim June 14, 2010, as Flag Day and the week beginning June 13, 2010, as National Flag Week. I direct the appropriate officials to display the flag on all Federal Government buildings during that week, and I urge all Americans to observe Flag Day and National Flag Week by displaying the flag. I also call upon the people of the United States to observe with pride and all due ceremony those days from Flag Day through Independence Day, also set aside by the Congress (89 Stat. 211), as a time to honor America, to celebrate our heritage in public gatherings and activities, and to publicly recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America.

Are you proudly displaying YOUR American Flag?

WE ARE!

Aren’t you PROUD to be an American?!

WE ARE!

Doesn’t it make you crazy whenever you hear about people who diss the flag and/or get offended whenever someone wears a flag t-shirt or displays the flag at a gathering/office/school?

YES IT DOES!

I saw a tweet on Twitter this morning and it’s been eating at me ever since.

Now I ask you who, in their right mind, would be offended by his/her own country’s flag at any given moment?

I truly don’t understand where people are coming from here.

Care to enlighten me?

I mean, if people truly hate this country SO MUCH, then why don’t they move to another country? If flying our nation’s flag, the flag that represents the struggles and the lives of so many men and women who died to defend her, truly offends people, then why in God’s name are they still on American soil? WHY do we kowtow to these insensitive, unpatriotic boobs?

I, for one, will not tolerate anyone bad mouthing or decimating our flag, or our heritage. And people, if we don’t stop these “offended” nutjobs all in the name of being “politically correct,” then what the hell kind of message is that sending to our military men and women?

To our children?

Have we really become a nation with our tail between our legs?

What kind of message is that sending to the rest of the world? Exactly how is that honoring the men and women who have DIED for this country these nearly 234 years??

I say, let’s grow a freaking backbone here!

Here are some examples of people getting offended by the flag just these past months:

Earlier this week, Debbie McLucas, a supervisor at Kindred Hospital in Mansfield, Texas, was told she would have to take down a 3×5 American flag that she had hung near her desk in an office she shares with three other supervisors. Her boss told her a fellow supervisor, who had immigrated to the United States from Africa 14 years earlier, found it “offensive.” The hospital says it received other complaints from visitors. These must be the type of hospital visitors who stumble upon staff offices as well as close their eyes walking into the building, since the stars and stripes waves proudly outside.

source:

Here’s another gem:

By now you may have heard the story of five students at a California High School who were punished and forced to turn t-shirts inside out because they depicted the American flag. Principal Nick Boden and Assistant Principal Miguel Rodriguez of Live Oaks High School in Santa Clara County admonished the boys for their displays of patriotism because it was May 5, or Cinco de Mayo in Mexico. The students were sent home, and their parents are now justly fighting the district over the school’s ill-concieved actions.

Isn’t the great thing about America that we can celebrate more than one culture at a time, regardless of the day? Will wearing an American flag on St. Patrick’s Day offend the Irish, or during Oktoberfest offend Germans? And isn’t it a bit condescending to assume that Mexican-Americans don’t also revere the flag of their adopted nation?

source:

And the kicker?

Remarkably, Cinco de Mayo, which commemorates the Mexican army’s victory over French forces at the Battle of Peubla is hardly celebrated in Mexico itself. It is voluntarily observed in America as a celebration of Mexican-American heritage.

It absolutely boggles my mind that any person, lucky enough to live in our great nation, would dare to complain or criticize the symbol of our country. And it disheartens me that more people are not willing to take a stand against these radicals and say ENOUGH ALREADY. This is our country and we are proud of her. We will NOT tolerate your disrespect or cater to your attempts to belittle, or excuse, what we’ve fought to obtain.

The ideals of America’s founding are timeless. And yet the cause of Freedom is never complete, but requires eternal vigilance. Not only the cloth and colors of the flag must endure, but the liberty it represents must not perish from the earth. In the words of the National Anthem:

O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On this symbolic day, not only Americans, but free people everywhere should pause to ponder the meaning of this red, white, and blue flag.

source:

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

You got a problem with our constitution? You don’t agree with our foundations? You think the Bill of Rights is negotiable?

Then I have one word for you: LEAVE.

If we want to maintain our precious freedoms, then we must FIGHT for them. Stand UP for your country, folks.

Proudly display our flag and to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.

(Sorry for the IN-YOUR-FACE post, but dog gone it, I’m sick of people not standing up and saying something about the crap that we’re being forced to endure right now. NO MORE KOWTOWING!).

I love these moral delimma questions.

You’re a policeman. You pull over a car that’s speeding in a school zone. The driver is a neighbor’s son. Do you let him off with only a verbal warning?

My answer: Maybe, it depends. If this is his first offense, then I would most likely give the kid a warning. However, if he has a record (whether speeding or not), then I would absolutely give him a ticket and most likely say something to my neighbor, too.

Your turn!

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… well, nothing really.

$300

Created by WhatsMyTwitterAccountWorth.com

But hey man, $300 bucks is $300 bucks, you know? I’ll take it!

Do you Twitter? I do. A lot. Too much, actually. In fact, I often find myself saying SO much about what’s going on with me that writing a blog post after spewing my nonsense on Twitter is rather redundant.

So, I don’t post on my blog.

And I start feeling guilty.

Because this blog o’ mine is my journal – about my life, my thoughts, the funny, off-the-wall humor I find on the Internet. It’s about me – as boring as that sounds (and probably reads).

But Twitter — is a platform that was MADE for me, I think. I like that I only have 140 characters to verbalize my thoughts/feelings. I like that it forces me to be concise, that it forces me to carefully choose my words and the challenge it presents in putting both my statement and my humor out there at the same time. It’s the perfect platform for people who enjoy spewing one-liners.

Like me.

As you all know, I’m rather, erhm, long winded on this blog, so having to stick to that word restriction is so much fun for me.

But am I doing it right? Am I utilizing Twitter to it’s full potential? Is there even a right or wrong way to USE Twitter?

Some people think so.

I see Twitter as a huge party. Everyone is talking at once and though at first, it sounds confusing, there is a certain pattern that emerges if you take a moment to listen.

Or read, as the case may be.

There are tons of conversations going on and I love the fact that Twitter gives you the opportunity to eavesdrop on these conversations and then join them, if one is so inclined. I love the fact that there is SO MUCH DIVERSITY on Twitter – one tweet might be about politics, another about what’s for dinner that evening, another about parenting advice, another about a funny event, another showing a picture of that person’s activities … I love the flurry of activity – it’s hard to get bored on Twitter.

I find it exhilarating that I can be annoyed and/or fired up about a political issue in one tweet and in the very next tweet, talk about something totally unrelated and off-the-wall. I love the see-saw of emotions that accompany each tweet and though it’s exhausting, it’s an adrenaline rush at times (at times).

I tweet because it amuses me. I tweet to connect with people. I tweet to promote my book store. I tweet because it gives me a voice and it’s okay if no one is listening.

The fact that my words are out there, somewhere, floating around are somehow enough for me.

Do you use Twitter? Why or why not? What do you “get” out of Twitter?

Link to video. [Watch first]

First, let me just say that I would never presume to know what is best for YOU or YOUR children. Everyone is different – every family has different needs. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa. So there is honestly no judgment from my end. I mean, sure, I have opinions and I may disagree with you, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter what I think, it’s YOUR life and YOUR decision.

With that said, I don’t necessarily agree with parents who take their kids out of school for family vacations or some other “fluffy” excuse – and by fluffy I mean “fun” activities of some sort (educational or not). Deaths in the family and other such emergencies are completely different and often times unavoidable.

I think parents who take a laissez faire attitude toward school attendance are honestly sending the wrong message. To me, and this is what I teach my sons, school is of the utmost importance right now – it’s their job. I fully expect them to give 110% to their studies and to do the best they can possibly do (and I’ve learned, in just the past several years, that that doesn’t necessarily mean straight “A’s”).

When my children are feeling under the weather, they go to school. The only way I will allow them to skip out of school is if they have a fever or are throwing their guts up. And I know that makes me sound mean, and I often times FEEL mean for enforcing that rule, but let’s be realistic here, life simply doesn’t stop because you have the sniffles. Life can’t be put on hold because you have a headache and I think it’s crucial that I teach my boys that there will be days you feel less than 100% and guess what, you still have to go to work. You still have obligations and duties that must be met and taken care of. I hope, by being strict about this rule that they condition themselves to trudge through those days and develop a strong work ethic.

This is important to me because I used to be a manager and I had to deal with the people who consistently called in “sick” (and they may well might have been, but I’m betting that they weren’t all the time) and who were unreliable. It was incredibly annoying and inconvenient, not to mention unfair to the people who pulled the extra weight. People who routinely take days off because they have a minor illness (like a headache or cramps) or who think they are somehow entitled to an extra day off for whatever reason, rarely succeed in life because they think that the world revolves around them and their needs.

Um, no.

HOWEVER, however … I agonize over this issue. I tear myself up whenever I make them go to school when I know they’re feeling bad. I hate myself for being so militant when it comes to their attendance. For some reason, I just go nuts at the thought of them missing school and if you want the God’s honest truth, I’m not quite sure why I’m like that.

Perhaps I’m afraid they will fall behind and give up as opposed to working that much harder to get caught back up. Perhaps I’m afraid they will break their momentum and never really find their stride again. They’re both really good students – I think I’m loathe to rock the boat. Everything is going so well at this point …

But being too militant is not a good idea, either. Since they are such great students, don’t they deserve a break once in a while?

I hadn’t really thought about the benefits of allowing the kids to stay home say, on their birthdays, or to take some time off for a family vacation, but after watching this video and reading some of the comments, I can see the attraction. We have certainly had some GREAT family vacations and I know that the boys will remember playing “Settlers of Catan” with me and Kevin because we have truly had some great laughs from that game.

So why wouldn’t I want to do something like that more often? Why am I so hard-nosed when it comes to them going to school?

Now granted, I’ve allowed them to take the rest of the day off after they got their braces put on – I’m not cruel.

But I am hard. And I’m strict. And though I think that’s a good thing, that it teaches them some valuable lessons, I also think I could relax my choke hold a bit and allow them to have fun once in a while.

I really like the idea of allowing the kids to take off on their birthdays. Jazz’s birthday always falls on spring break (except for last year for some reason), so he’s always off on his birthday.

But Dude nearly always has to go to school on his birthday and you know what? Why not allow the kid to take his birthday off this year? He’ll be 18, that’s definitely a reason to celebrate, right? I mean, what’s the big deal? It’s only one day.

BUT – if he misses his birthday, he’ll ruin his perfect attendance record. Yes, as of now, Dude has not missed one day of high school (any absences have always been excused). If he can continue this streak, he’ll be recognized at graduation and given an award.

And I’m insanely proud of that accomplishment – though I often wonder if I’m more proud of it for him or for me. I skipped a lot of school when I was a senior (no reason, other than I was being a brat), and I think that part of me wants to make up for that through Dude.

Yes. I realize that’s not fair to Dude.

But another big part of me is proud of that because I think it sends a message, overall. That I thought it was important enough to make sure my kid made it to school every day and by doing that, I’m teaching him so many important life lessons. Or am I more concerned at being seen as “superior” in front of other parents?

And I realize his perfect attendance is no guarantee that he’ll be this super employee – he might be really lousy as a rebellious way to get back at me; I hope not, but I know it could happen.

I don’t know. I guess I always looked at the weekends as the boys’ days off and why would they need a day off during the week? They had two days off to goof around and be lazy. I guess I’ve never seen the need to take a day off during the week. They’re at school for six hours, not ten. And let’s not forget all of these piddly government holidays and breaks. To me, it just didn’t make sense for them to take off additional days.

Am I missing something?

I honestly struggle with this issue. And it’s not JUST this issue, it’s the whole “am I being too strict” issue. I’m pretty hard on my boys, especially when it comes to education and I suppose that’s because I desperately want them to succeed in life. Even though I realize that having a good education is no guarantee that that will happen, I think it’s an important leg up, so to speak.

But when I read the comments on this video, I realized that making those memories, that learning outside the classroom, is equally, if not MORE, important.

I don’t know. Just when I’m feeling like I have this whole motherhood gig “balanced” and I’m doing an okay job, I see videos (and read comments) about issues like this, and I wonder just how “well” I’m doing, you know?

What do you think – is it okay to allow kids to miss school occasionally for vacations, field trips or mental health days?