Researchers at the University of Arizona say shopping carts and reusable grocery bags are teeming with fecal matter and bacteria, often more than a typical bathroom.
Professor Charles Gerba swabbed the handles of 85 carts in four states for bacterial contamination.
Gerba found 72 percent of the carts had a positive marker for fecal bacteria and half had Escherichia coli (E. coli). He also found reusable shopping bags that are not washed regularly are swarming with bacteria.
Oh …..YUCK!!!!
We’re one of those annoying people who grab a wipe on our way into a store and wipe down the handle and the sides of a shopping cart. Any areas we think we’re going to be touching, and it gets swabbed with a wipe. It’s not that we’re terribly concerned about germs, after all, a few germs are good so your body can build up immunities, but let’s use common sense, too. Those carts are used by a LOT of different people every day. And not everyone is as, er, clean as they should be.
(In fact, I can’t even look at that picture up above – just think how many germs that baby is sucking in! Ew!)
Now keep in mind, this “study” was sponsored by Clorox, so it’s probably a little skewed, (so people will go out and Clorox wipes) but still, it’s definitely something to think about. I know Kevin and I wash our hands immediately after we get home from a trip to Wal-Mart (or anywhere public, for that matter) because I hate to say this, but people? Are sort of nasty germ factories. (And I’m sure we carry around our own unique germs, too!)
I also followed a link from the above article and read about the most germy offices …
A new survey shows which office-based jobs host the most bacteria.
Here is the list, going from careers with the most to least germs on workspace surfaces:
1. Teacher
2. Accountant
3. Banker
4. Radio DJ
5. Doctor
6. Television producer
7. Consultant
8. Publicist
9. Lawyer
University of Arizona microbiologist Charles Gerba, Ph.D., and colleagues did the dirty work. The Clorox Company funded the study and reported the results. These findings are part of a large research project by Gerba on “Germs in the Workplace.”
Average bacteria per square inch of workspace surfaces ranged from 17,800 for teachers to 900 for lawyers, according to the report, which doesn’t specify which bacteria were found.
This was another study sponsored by Clorox, so take it with a grain of salt. But again … it’s food (get it?) for thought! The four worst places for germs found at the desk were: phones, desks, keyboards, and computer mice.
Makes sense.
And I had to laugh when I read this because in case you didn’t notice, I started this article with “Kevin and I were eating lunch at my desk”, so we’re definitely contributing to that bacteria data! Ha!
At any rate, I thought I’d pass this little (disgusting) tidbit along to you.
This is a bit off topic, but when I was looking for a photo to put with this article, I found this picture:
A magnifying glass attached to the shopping cart handle. Now THAT’S my kind of cart! If I had a nickel for every time I tried to read something at the store only to realize I didn’t have my reading glasses with me …
Anyway … tell me friends, how concerned are you about germs? Do you take the time to wipe down your shopping carts?
When I heard the buzz about the “Waiting for Superman” documentary, I immediately jumped onto Netflix and put it in my queue.
Then the fiasco in Wisconsin happened. Now, it’s not even available until next year. (Okay, slight exaggeration, but still, a long time).
Impatient to watch it, I broke down and bought the disk. (Which, incidentally, I will be reselling in my Amazon book store very soon. I’ve disabled the store for the time being, but will be reinstating it shortly – watch my sidebar for the link).
Kevin and I watched the documentary Tuesday night.
As always, I will try and be fair to both sides of the issue in my analysis.
Ready?
I think we can all agree that our public school system has problems. As the documentary points out, we’re still using a 1950’s structure in a 2011 world. The tracking system is antiquated, there are too many governmental agencies involved, no one organization really knows what the other organization is doing, the school administrators are constantly bombarded with conflicting rules and regulations and then, of course, there are the problems with the teachers’ unions and their inflexible procedures when it comes to weeding out the terrible teachers.
Now hold on, cowboy. I’m NOT saying that all public schools are terrible. I’m NOT saying that all teachers are terrible. AT ALL. Teachers have my utmost respect. No. Seriously. Teachers are a special breed because MOST teachers are patient, talented, educated, intelligent and fantastic with children. I’m thankful for our teachers. I have personally dealt with some pretty AWESOME teachers (and principals!) over the years. And though the movie probably should have at least acknowledged that there are indeed great schools out there, great schools aren’t the problem. The poor schools are the issue. And there are more poor schools than should be accepted in our system. THOSE are the schools, THOSE teachers are the ones we’re addressing here. Let’s address the overall problem and make our school system work for everyone. Let’s overhaul our school system and reward those teachers that truly deserve recognition.
What I honestly don’t understand is when people yell and scream that we need to make some changes “for the children,” and then immediately renege on that “commitment” when hard suggestions are made to make those changes (like revamping government policies and involvement as well as restructuring teacher unions).
If people were truly serious about helping the children, then everyone involved in the convoluted “business” of educating our children would be willing to do something about it. Instead, I see way too much in-fighting and power struggles and not only is nothing being done to improve our education system, it’s actually making it worse.
When I found out that the director, Davis Guggenheim, of “An Inconvenient Truth” was the same man behind “Waiting for Superman,” I nearly passed on the opportunity to watch it. It’s no secret that I’m a conservative woman who DOES NOT believe, for one minute, that Global Warming is man-made. (Another post for another day, perhaps). But considering this documentary concerned a subject near and dear to my heart, I thought I owed the problem my attention.
So, I put my personal thoughts and opinions aside and watched the documentary with an objective eye. And regardless of how you feel about ASPECTS of our public school problem, I think we OWE OUR CHILDREN to at least examine the problem and talk about honest and realistic solutions to this serious problem.
This means checking our political views and self-righteous attitudes at the door. This isn’t about Democrats or Republicans, it’s not about public or private sector jobs, IT’S ABOUT OUR CHILDREN, and they need our help.
This is a grown up problem; I think it’s high time we all started acting like grown ups to try and find a better solution, don’t you? Because we can’t continue on with what we have now – it’s not working. Our children are not receiving the education they need and DESERVE to compete in a complex and competitive world.
And forgive me, but running away from the problem (i.e. homeschooling / private school) will not fix anything, either. Look. We’re all trying to do what is best for our children. I understand that. I GET IT. I’m a parent, I want what’s best for my children, too. And if our public schools aren’t giving our children what they need, then we, as parents, have the right, nay, the responsibility, to find alternatives.
But what about the hundreds of thousands of children and parents who don’t have that choice? They can’t homeschool because they have to work. They don’t make enough money to send their children to private schools. Public schools are their only option. Don’t THOSE children deserve to receive the best education that our tax dollars can give them?
These children get lost in the system because the rest of us would prefer to avoid the problem instead of fixing the problem.
And don’t you find it infuriating when people get on their podiums and preach about how we all need to pitch in and make this work, for the children, and yet they send their own children to private schools? That stuff drives me nuts. When does the problem get fixed? When do we stop pointing fingers at everyone else for the problem and start taking initiative to fix the damn problem?
And before you ask, my children go to public school. And I’m involved with their education. And my heart HURTS for these poor children who fall through the cracks and drop out of school their freshmen year in high school. These poor children have not been taught any skills to use to make their lives productive. It’s tragic to me that we can’t all get past ourselves and make the changes that need to be made so these innocent, helpless children are taught what is necessary to give them a strong start to the rest of their lives.
But enough preaching, let’s talk about what we can do to change this. Now. Today.
PARENTS
Get involved with your children’s education. I don’t know how else to say it. Schools are not babysitters. They do not exist to take your children off your hands for six hours a day. They exist to educate and prepare children for their (our) future.
Keep a positive attitude about school. Talk about the problems they may have with their teachers (I’ve had numerous conversations about “bad” teachers with my boys – it’s like real life, you have to deal with all sorts of personalities. This just means they will have to take the imitative and move forward on their own. I’d say, the bad teachers will get what’s coming to them eventually, but now I’m not so sure – more on that later).
School is a child’s “job.” It’s their “job” to go, learn, and follow up. School should be their main focus. It should be treated with respect and taken seriously. Parents can help instill the importance of school by taking school seriously. It’s not a daycare, it’s not a big playground, it’s an institution that deserves respect. If you respect school, your children will respect school.
GOVERNMENT
Let’s get rid of the duplicate programs, consolidate departments, restructure staffing and use the money that will inevitably be left over from these changes and pour it into the school districts so that they may build better buildings and provide a technological infrastructure that complements today’s high-tech needs.
Let’s stop playing politics with our children’s futures. No more special government favors. That just creates officials who feel obligated to vote a certain way in order to “pay” their special interest investors off. Hire an independent, private agency to make sure these monies are being distributed to the districts that desperately need the monetary/staffing help. We can’t rely on the government to do anything right – look how many programs it has screwed up. These programs begin with good intentions, but then you get government officials involved who are more interested in furthering his/her career and the original intent of the program is lost under greed and red tape.
Hire private agencies that follow up on these improvements to make sure that the districts are actively working on making them happen. If they discover these changes aren’t being made, then fire the people in charge and put in people who are willing, and able, to get the job done.
That’s how the private sector works. Why can’t these same principles apply with our government programs?
TEACHERS
Ah … the teachers. Again, let me reiterate, I THINK TEACHERS ARE GREAT! I also think there are some teachers who take advantage of their tenure status and sit around all day and don’t teach their class, too.
And my boys have had a few of those types of teachers over the years. And it’s terribly frustrating knowing that they probably won’t be reprimanded, or fired, at least, any time soon. And you saw in the movie, administrators have to go through 36, that’s THIRTY-SIX, steps in order for a teacher to even be considered for termination.
That’s crazy, folks. Can you imagine if the private sector had to go through something like that? They’d have to have a completely separate department just to start a termination process.
I’ve talked about unions before. And I’ll be honest, I’m not a big union supporter. Though I DO believe employees need to be protected, to some degree, I think unions have gone too far, have gotten too big and they now have a stranglehold on our system.
Teachers’ unions are great for teachers, not so great for children. And I honestly think they need to do away with tenure altogether and implement that tier system mentioned in the movie. Give teachers the INCENTIVE to out perform their peers thereby earning themselves more money AND becoming a great teacher, which benefits the children. When you take incentive away, and if they have tenure, there is absolutely no motivation to do anything other than show up. Granted, most teachers aren’t like that, but let’s be honest, there are some who are. It’s like they’re thumbing their noses at us because really, what can we do?
Nothing, short of restructuring how unions work and that requires lawmakers, who are often times paid for with union dues, to make changes.
You don’t normally bite the hand that feeds you.
And just like the man in the interview said, pay teachers more money and entice better teachers to enter the field. We could afford to pay these teachers more if we restructured the entire system, made some pretty deep and crucial cuts and reallocated those funds from money pits.
The question is, how badly do we want this reform? If people aren’t willing to make the tough choices, then to me, that tells me that all of this public school reform talk? Is just that, talk.
And if/when we give the teachers, and principals, the extra money we suddenly have because we’ve made these changes, let’s give them – the teachers and principals – the authority to spend that money where it needs to be spent. (Within reason, of course. And that might be monitored by the principal or a central school board at the school with the needs). They know, better than anyone, where improvements need to be made, not some bureaucrat sitting in an ivory tower.
I personally think the teachers unions needs to be one of the first things we change about our education system. As it stands now, our hands are tied. We are at the mercy of the union managers and nothing will change as long as they maintain the power.
MOVIE ASPECTS
Here are aspects of the movie, and this interview, I’d like to comment on:
(By the way, I can not STAND Katie Couric. But this is not about Katie Couric, it’s about our public school system, it’s about our children. See how this works? It doesn’t matter what I personally think about a person, or a political party, stay focused on the PROBLEM).
Tracking – I’m not sure I believe in the “tracking” system. That sounds so clinical and organized. I’m just not convinced that our system IS that organized. And the AP courses he talked about in the interview? Are accessible to all students – they have to take a test to see if they qualify for the class, but all students have the opportunity to get into AP classes, they just have to work hard and make the grades. Honors classes aren’t special clubs or for the elite, they’re for anyone willing to work their butts off to get into them.
Charter Schools – Again, I think people are missing the point of comparing public schools to charter schools in this movie. I think some people thought that Guggenheim was singing charter school praises – the charter schools were showcased in the movie to show people what sort of alternatives are, or can be, available. It was (is?) an experiment to find a better solution to our public school problem because if the government won’t fix this problem, what choice do we have? Our children need to be educated in some way – if not the public route, then some other route.
The Lemon Dance – This bothers me and serves to perfectly illustrate what is wrong with our system. Instead of getting rid of these lemon teachers and replacing them with better teachers, principals are forced to pawn them off on another poor school and guess who, once again, pays for this? The kids. If a teacher is under performing, then he/she should be fired, period. If a teacher wants to keep his/her job? Then earn the right to keep it.
The Rubber Room – This SERIOUSLY disturbs me. Even though they have been discontinued, the fact remains – teachers who are under investigation are in limbo. Only now, they aren’t confined to one room all day long, they can do whatever they want all day long while they wait to be “processed.” In essence, it’s paid vacation. And even when it’s finally their turn to be “processed,” what’s going to happen? A slap on the wrist and they’re sent right to the classroom. And WHO suffers from this insane policy? THE TAXPAYER.
Come on, people. Some of this stuff is just plan crazy and is nothing more than a power play, pure and simple.
Favorite quote from the interview: “We have to remove the status quo from the equation so that great teachers can do great work.”
Again, it’s not Charter Schools versus Public Schools – why must everything be black or white? It’s not about class or who has versus has not. Charter Schools are an alternative – they’re a choice, albeit a small choice, but a choice, nonetheless. That’s what our public school system needs – it can’t be public schools, all or nothing. That’s why so many people have chosen to homeschool or send their kids to private schools – these options have given people a CHOICE. Any situation is less frustrating when we’ve given a choice. Even bad options are still options – they’re better than no options at all.
Charter Schools, in this documentary, are meant to start the conversation on how we can do things differently. These Charter Schools are about taking their great ideas and improving them, even implementing them, into our public school system.
This movie is about opening dialogue, getting people to CARE, giving people HOPE, that change is possible if we MAKE it happen.
It’s high time that we, as people, as taxpayers, as PARENTS, all come together and honestly work together to fix our public school system. We’ve talked this issue to death, it’s time to ACT and make these hard decisions. It’s time to restructure old systems and give our kids a fighting chance to compete and give them the tools to follow their dreams.
Wow. I can’t believe the mom-o-sphere hasn’t been up in arms about this latest “study.”
And before we go any further, just to set the record straight – I’m a mother. I’m a blogger. But I don’t consider myself a mommy blogger. No disrespect to any mommy bloggers out there, I just don’t put myself into that category. So when I say “mommy bloggers,” I’m not talking about myself, per se. I prefer to observe a group, as opposed to being part of a group, then I can be more objective (and vocal) in my opinions without being boiled alive.
If that makes any sense.
Anyway, here’s a snippet of the article:
WASHINGTON (AFP) – The more mothers work during their children’s lifetimes, the more likely their kids are to be overweight or obese, according to a US study published on Friday.
Researchers from American University in Washington, Cornell University in New York state and the University of Chicago studied data on more than 900 elementary- and middle-school-aged children in 10 US cities.
They found that the total number of years the children’s mothers worked had a cumulative influence on their children’s body mass index (BMI) — the weight to height ratio used to measure if a person is overweight or obese.
The researchers were unable to clearly explain the findings but theorized that because working mothers have little time to shop for healthy food and prepare meals, they and their children eat more fast- and packaged foods, which tend to be high in fat and calories.
I wish the article had linked to the study, I would like to see the data on this “conclusion.”
Though I can sort of buy it. I mean, working parents are pressed for time. And fast food is fast and convenient. And when you have a 1001 things to do when you get home at night, cooking is low priority. And the kids are hungry. And probably whining … and offering healthy choices is a lot of extra work AND expensive.
I’m guilty of doing this from time-to-time. Kevin and I will get home and THE LAST thing we feel like doing is cooking dinner and then cleaning up afterward. So, we’ll go out and grab some Wendy’s (or some other fast food) just so we’ll have more time to relax and do the things we need to do.
We’ll all crunched for time, we all cut corners whenever we can. There’s nothing wrong with that. I guess the problem starts when that’s ALL we do – when we consistently go for the unhealthy shortcuts and skip the healthier options. Eating healthy is not really that hard – if we make a conscious effort to do so and plan ahead.
Dr. Laura’s blog is what first drew my attention to this. Here is what she had to say on the matter:
The most important part of this study is the part that gets people mad. Well, it gets moms mad. Children’s chances of becoming fat rises the longer mothers work outside the home. Weight problems among children have soared in the past 3 decades as more women have joined the workforce.
But the main problem children have is the inattention of their mothers, because their mothers are burning the candle from one end to the other and all along the middle. Because women have been bullied by the feminist mentality, they no longer believe being a mother and a wife and a homemaker is an adequate thing for anybody to do.
So they have full-time jobs, kids and a husband. They can’t adequately take care of their kids to make sure they exercise and eat right. …
What studies like this show is how important you are to the well-being and health of your children
As usual, Dr. Laura doesn’t mince words. I’m sure that working mothers out there aren’t purposefully feeding their children fatty foods out of neglect, but convenience and cost are definitely factors. I can totally understand WHY working moms resort to these types of food, but I wonder if they’re really thinking about the long-term repercussions of doing so.
(And just for the record, and just to keep things fair and balanced – I’m sure there are a lot of working moms that break their backs to make sure their kids are eating right and getting enough exercise. I’m also sure there are some stay-at-home moms that feed their kids a lot of crap, too. Everyone has their reasons, everyone has to do the best they can do. My point is to try and raise awareness about making healthier choices for our childrens’ sakes, if for no other reason).
One of the reasons I think this article hits a nerve for a lot of people is that once again, parents feel like their parenting skills are being questioned. It’s like watching a caged animal being backed into a corner – they get vicious and defensive. And once again, some people will do, or say anything, to get out of being held accountable.
Which sort of leads me to the other thing I wanted to talk about…
How some people think it’s the big-bad corporations’ fault that people, in general, are obese because of the food they sell.
(RSS readers – another video that won’t show up in your readers. My apologizes. Click over to watch it).
Where to start….
Yes. Some companies offer fatty foods. They do so because they want to make a profit. It’s the reason companies exist. They do not exist to better mankind, they exist to make a buck. And when they’re successful at making that buck, they expand and employ people.
Jobs make an economy strong.
Should they offer these types of fatty foods? Well why not? People buy them. If people stopped buying them, they would stop making them because they would be losing money. Again with the profit margin thing.
Personally, I think it’s sort of sick that they sell these heart attacks waiting to happen food types and it makes me uncomfortable when I see obese people inhaling these fatty foods. But guys, no one is forcing them to eat that stuff.
No one is twisting people’s arms to buy these fatty foods. No one is holding a gun to people’s heads to consume these fatty foods. Is it sad that they make unwise choices? Absolutely. But it’s their choice. They have the freedom to make that choice and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that bad choice.
(Pst – moderation is KEY).
I’m not sure how it’s the corporations’ fault that people make bad choices.
Once again, blaming corporations is much easier than owning up to our own weakness. Pointing fingers is a heck of a lot easier than exercising will power and simply refusing to eat the junk that’s offered.
But again, let’s be fair. It’s also equally sad that healthy food is not more affordable.
Do I wish the food industry wasn’t so off balanced (and dare I say, corrupt?). Yes. Do I wish people would start demanding that healthy food be made more affordable and available? Yes. And I think we’re starting to make strides in that direction. But do I think we should blame and/or punish big industries for people making bad choices? No. Just don’t buy their products. Get them where it hurts, in their profit margin. They will soon get the hint.
Once again, it’s about taking responsibility for our choices. Once again, society is scrambling to blame someone else.
I’d be discouraged by all of the finger pointing, but I honestly think people are starting to wake up to these tactics.
(RSS readers – I’ve embedded a video. You probably can’t see it so you’ll have to visit my blog to view it. Sorry about that).
I can totally understand this woman’s frustration.
Kids nowadays ARE self-entitled spoiled brats who whine too much because parents are more concerned with being their friends and not their parents. I’m sure it’s terribly difficult to deal with that kind of attitude in the classroom. Especially nowadays when the kids all know that if anything happens, their parents will become fire-breathing dragons and threaten a law suit. (And trust me, I hear about these kids from my high school boys, too. The disruptions, the attitudes, the blatant disrespect. If half of what they tell me is true [and I take what they tell me with a grain of salt], then it’s a wonder these teachers can teach anything over all the “noise” produced by these troublemakers).
I can’t imagine being a teacher in today’s classrooms. I can totally understand why this woman needed to blow off some steam. I’m not a teacher, but I’ve seen enough bad behavior, just as an outside parent, to make my blood boil. Can you imagine being stuck with the brats every day?
However, I do find her naivety just a bit annoying. She published her first name, last initial AND a picture of herself on her blog – yet she didn’t think anyone would ever find her blog? *snort* Please. The Internet has a LOOOOONG memory. Even if you delete some stuff, it’s possible to find it later and today’s kids? Are computer savvy. They’ve grown up on this stuff so it’s really easy for them to navigate and search things out.
I’ll be interested in what happens to her. If her contract specifically addresses an issue like this, then she will deserve to lose her job, but if not, she didn’t do anything illegal. Was it smart? No. But she has a right to her opinion and she didn’t list the school by name or any specific students so …
I ABHOR ABC news – and I thought the interviewer in this video was purposefully slanting the questions to make the teacher look like the insensitive one (because God forbid we blame the PARENTS of these bratty kids for the way they turned out *dramatic gasp*), BUT, I thought the question she posed to the teacher, asking her how she would feel if her children’s teachers made some sort of remark like that referencing her own children was pretty interesting.
I think if I had been asked that question, I’d say something along the lines of, “if my kids are truly that awful when I’m not around, I’d want to know about it. Because no kid of mine is going to blatantly disrespect their teacher like that.”
And I would. I realize that kids are totally different when they are not around their parents, but if they’re that bad? I want to know. I have no problem with being told my kids are acting like assholes because I live with them. And they can be assholes sometimes. I’m not delusional enough to think my kids are on their best behavior at all times.
But I think most parents WOULDN’T want to know. I would imagine most parents would get all defensive if confronted with a less-than perfect child because they would think it reflected poorly on their parenting skills.
Which, it probably would.
But that’s why I felt compelled to write about this because as the teacher says in the video, perhaps this will spark a conversation. A long overdue conversation, about how kids nowadays are out of control. How parents don’t parent anymore, they pawn off them off on the nearest caregiver, relative or school they can find. How parents don’t seem to have a backbone anymore when it comes to teaching their children morals and disciplining them when they do something wrong. It’s all about not hurting Johnny’s feelings or bruising his self-esteem.
(*talk to the hand*)
Hogwash. I get so impatient with that “new age” way of thinking. Kids are tough little boogers, not to mention, extremely smart. Kids pick up on this wimpy parenting style and they manipulate it for all it’s worth. They KNOW teachers can’t touch them. They KNOW teachers are really limited to what they can do or say before getting themselves into trouble. They KNOW that mommy and/or daddy will bail them out if all they do is cry their tears or cry foul in some way.
We’re raising a pampered, spoiled generation. Let’s be honest.
So yeah, I feel sorry for this teacher. She probably shouldn’t have wrote those things on such a public forum (if she just wanted to keep it between her and her friends, she should have made it a private blog), but she’s only saying what we’re all thinking.
Our youth HAVE gotten out of control and parents? It’s time to own up and take some responsibility. Our kids are whiny brats because we’ve raised them to be that way.
I know that a lot of "experts" say that technology is actually ripping families apart, and though that may be true on some level (more distractions means less face-to-face time), in some ways, I think it's brought our family closer.
I have two teenage boys (for those that don't know) and I'm lucky if I get grunts, let alone actual words. And trying to get them to talk about their days? Is nearly impossible. And I try, believe me. In fact, I do some of the silliest things in an effort to make them laugh and open up. Once in a while, I'm successful, but most times, they just roll their eyes at me. I'm afraid I only reinforce their opinion of me – lame-ass mom.
But the boys got new phones for Christmas. These phones have pop-out keyboards which make texting easier. And we text back and forth. Not a lot, they are teenage boys after all (which basically means teenage boys aren't typically chatty to begin with), but I feel like I talk to them more now because of the texting feature.
We also watch YouTube videos together. ("Hey mom! You have to watch this funny video!") And of course, there's Facebook (sometimes reading their statuses is the only way I know what is going on in their lives).
I honestly think I would know a lot less about my boys without today's technology to fall back on.
It's certainly easy to get distracted by technology. When I think about making the boys give up their technology in favor of real life I have to think, "how would I feel if someone asked me to give up my favorite gadgets?" I'd resent it.
We have come to accept that that is what our boys like. They enjoy their computers, they love playing their games with their buddies online. Texting is crack to teenagers – our children have grown up with technology, it's what they know, it's what they enjoy. Sure, we teach our boys to take breaks, to come back to "reality," but as with anything, using technology comes with responsibilities and too much of anything is never a good idea.
Do I wish our boys had more one-on-one social skills? Yes. And I daresay they're going to learn those skills pretty fast when they get jobs and/or go to college, but they're also learning skills with technology, too; skills that I daresay will come in handy in our technology-saturated world.
I mean come on, can you imagine your world without your cell phone and your computer?
Okay fine, I can imagine it too, but the REAL question is, do we WANT to?
This whole “now you see my blog, now you don’t thing” is new. Actually, it’s an experiment.
Actually, it’s annoying.
Be honest. I can take it.
But I like it. And I dare say, I will continue the peek-a-boo blog show for a while longer, if you will indulge me.
Here’s why I like it: because it perfectly sums up my personality. I’m one of those people who sort of fades into the background at parties, only to resurface and offer a soft, genuine smile of acknowledgment or to inject a funny sentence or thought into a random conversation. I think my personality might be a bit too much, full strength. It might be better, for all parties concerned, if I dilute my thoughts, rants and daily mutterings and sort of space them out over a week’s time, instead of subjecting you poor people to daily doses.
And I like it because I don’t feel like I’m constantly on display. I can be me. I can write when I feel like it and not stress if I haven’t written something before midnight. I don’t have to worry about whether Google is cataloging me, or if I’m losing readers. When I have something to say, I can say it and not have to count the number of times I’ve hit the publish button in a 24-hour period.
Some days, like today, I can post three times and not feel guilty that I’m overwhelming someone’s RSS feed. Or, I can go days without publishing anything simply because I have nothing to say and am feeling introspective and quiet.
I know it’s hard to believe, but there are days I feel quiet. There are days I can hardly stand being in the same room as my family. I want nothing to do with them. I would much prefer to get lost in a book, or to find a quiet corner and write nonsense, or to pop a DVD in and watch several episodes from my favorite TV shows.
That’s how I feel about blogging my thoughts. Sometimes, I simply have nothing to say. Those are the days I post nonsense, videos, jokes … stupid things.
And I always feel guilty after doing that. This is my journal, my life. It’s personal. I don’t want to leave silly, inconsequential things behind for my family to read (and chances are, those videos, links, jokes will no longer exist at that time period, anyway).
I’ve turned comments off. Not because I’m not interested in what you have to say, but because I feel like I can be me, uncensored. I have no intention of offending anyone, it’s better for me, as a person if I’m forced to weigh my opinions with fairness, but I’m tired of walking on eggshells. My husband frowns whenever I imply anything remotely bad about him. My mother gets annoyed with me whenever I talk about my childhood and inevitably get it wrong.
I have very loud thoughts and sharp opinions – I can’t help that. And I resent it whenever I can’t say what I want to say, on my own journal.
I’ve thought about keeping this journal completely private, and I reserve the right to make it private at some future point, but for now, I enjoy putting my words out there, but only on my terms. It’s hard to explain, perhaps I’m a bit narcissistic in one respect, having the urge to have other people read my thoughts, but I don’t want to disappear from the blog-o-sphere entirely, just partially.
I know none of this makes sense to you, or perhaps, it does on some weird level. All I know is, I am feeling more relaxed about this journal in a long time and it is once again, fun for me.
I hope it’s fun for you.
If you don’t feel like clicking over every day to see if I’ve stepped back into the light, or want to keep track of my Twitter stream, 24/7, you could always subscribe to my RSS feed, or, if email is more your thing, subscribe by email. I always allow my blog to stay live long enough for the search engines to find me before going dark again.
I apologize for my crazy antics, but well, this is me.
We are FRIENDLY to our children, but we are not their FRIENDS.
And I could be wrong, but I firmly believe that it’s (nearly?) impossible to be your child’s parent AND their friend at the same time.
At least, until the child matures and moves out of the house.
I know there are moments that the boys hate me. I’m prepared for it, I expect it. But I also know that when they feel that way, they’re more upset about not getting their way more than actually hating me.
At least, I hope so.
And though I would be lying if I said that it didn’t bother me when they’re upset with me, I get over it, I chock the anger, the dirty looks, the mumbled insults, to simply being part of my job as their mother.
It comes with the territory.
I think because I already possess this mental awareness in my mother arsenal I’m pretty straight forward when it comes to discipline. These are the rules. You follow the rules, we’ll have rainbows and unicorns. You disregard the rules and the hounds of hell will be released, chase you down, and melt your face with their fiery breath.
Not to be overly dramatic or anything. 🙄
I know I sound like a broken record here, but Kevin and I have always agreed on the discipline front:
He steps back and allows me to be the bad guy.
It’s worked out beautifully so far. 😀
Seriously, I have usually been the one to dole out the punishments. When the boys were smaller, I whacked them with a wooden spoon whenever they wouldn’t listen to me or were breaking the rules.
Yes, I spanked the boys.
Notice I didn’t say beat the boys.
BIG difference. HUGE, actually.
At any rate, they quickly got the message – mom meant business. And luckily, (because contrary to popular belief I didn’t enjoy it), I didn’t have to get the wooden spoon out very often.
Now that the kids are older, we get them where it really hurts – their games and computers.
We have a deal – give 100% of your attention to school, make the grades you’re capable of making and everything is cool.
Those grades drop, or you start disregarding house rules, and we confiscate the power cords to your computer and/or game consoles/DS’s.
A couple of times of being deprived of their favorite past time and POW, instant obedience.
Kevin and I have agreed on how to discipline the boys, but we’ve not always agreed on the length of their punishment.
It’s funny, but when I’m doing the disciplining, it doesn’t really bother me that much when the boys get mad/sad, etc.
But when Kevin disciplines them for something (and it doesn’t happen often, he has the patience of saints), I find my first instinct is to protect the boys.
“Now honey, don’t you think that’s a little harsh? After all, they only did _______” fill in the blank.
Which only serves to irritate Kevin more.
And rightly so.
I don’t question his judgment in front of the boys. And I rarely try and usurp his authority with the boys, overall. But I have been successful in talking him down from an anger high and reducing their sentences a bit.
Because even though I’m tough and a bit cold-hearted, I am fair.
The boys learned, early on, that trying to divide and conquer us was a waste of time. Though we may disagree on the specifics, Kevin and I are on the same page overall.
I think that strength, that strong parental front, has helped make our marriage stronger over the years, too.
Your turn: what happens when you disagree with your partner’s parenting decisions?
I sure hope you’re not eating while reading this!
Write From Karen 